The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

Saf morning,

How about going for a swim as soon as you get up, then a lovely fresh breakfast, to start you off feeling healthy, lunchtime, tall, frosty drinks of lime and tonic (I'm guessing it will be hot, lucky you), a lovely relax. In the evening Venus' advice about starting with a long soft drink, then eat loads and loads, that always makes me tired!

I'll never forget being on a Mark Warner holiday, and one of the last evenings, a lady got rather refreshed with all the free wine at dinner, and by 9pm was weaving all over the patio, gushing over strangers, and coming on to teenage boys, to an audience of pitying glances. Not a good look, and actually she was a very nice woman, it was the drink, and it spoilt the last few days of her holiday, because of the embarrassment.

Have a wonderful time, and a big N & T for me, in the sun!
xx

saf - when you say all inclusive, I'm assuming you mean drink too? So here's my suggestions:

• write a list of the logical reasons why you don't want to drink, take it with you and read it every morning and before the 'tempting times'. For example, you know that the booze will be the cheapest possible (not good red wine, but plonk); write down how many calories there are in each glass of drink, and how many units of alcohol, and record how many 'empty' calories you've saved by not drinking a couple of glasses at lunchtime / pre-dinner / evening.
• find something lovely that you can do in the early morning, somewhere peacful and quiet before everyone else gets up, and before the day gets too hot, meditate or smell the flowers, or read, or swim.
• choose someone as your alter-ego for the week, someone who is grabbing every free drink possible, who thinks that they are funny and sociable, but are really just a bit pissed, count the calories / units that they are drinking.
• ALWAYS, always, start with 2 non-alcoholic drinks to hydrate you and fill you up.
• If you feel like you want a drink, go and eat something first, a big plate of fruit, or some salad (it's all included ), then drink a pint of water, then brush your teeth with strong toothpaste, then see how you really feel.
• If you're watching some dire cabaret or entertainment show, don't use alcohol to create oblivion, save the best / worst stories to recount to us when you get back, write them down.
• Remember that all the non-alcoholic drinks are free too. Enjoy them, and have loads of them.

Enjoy your holiday

X post with thurso

With a four year old boy, a swim at about 5am is probably on the cards I should think. but I doubt it will be peaceful. Based on my experience your best chance of peace is to take a star wars DVD. Fortunately at that age my DS was obsessed with playing / sorting out top trumps, so a few packets of top trumps got us a long, long way.......

I was going to suggest that you imagine yourself being on "Holiday Swap" and what people would say to themselves when watching you. This should work to prevent karaoke as well as overindulgence.

Ah, you see thurso and I are at the other end of the child-rearing scale, so I only have blissful, distant (false) memories of 4 year olds. I seem to remember that they play quietly with some colouring books and play-doh. Have I forgotten something

Venus

What could be your alternative 'treat' at 11am? Getting your toenails painted or your head massaged? Or just closing your eyes for a couple of minutes and enjoying the delicious sensation of warm sun on your body and a cooling breeze on your face.

Morning, had 2 glasses of red wine with friend last night, she was feeling down so I offered to call up for a coffee and to let her vent, she text to say she had a bottle of wine there (the one left over from last Thursday evening) and suggesting I pick up one on the way up. I told her funds were low and that we would have to share the one she had which is exactly what we did! Although to be brutally honest I had an inkling for more but thankfully there was no more so we had a mug of tea before I headed home.
Enjoy your holiday SAF:)

top trumps - admittedly DS was a little OCD at this stage - I think many of them are - but I have to recommend top trumps as a great way of teaching small children numbers and how to alphabetise things! We mostly had fighter jet ones -a lifetime obsession for DS - but star wars, ben 10 etc also good (thank goodness Ben 10 is now a thing of the past and we only had a few months of it). trying to remember what else worked at 4 (only a couple of years ago, I ought to be able to). Sticker books? Endless dogfights with model aircraft.....

have you tried UNO? caught on in our house earlier than games like last card and patience.

colouring? er, still waiting for that one to catch on....

the comment re continuous commentary made me laugh (DS also an only child, I have had 9 weeks of it. I love him dearly but roll on tomorrow...).

morning all. had "only" two glasses of wine last night, left the rest. this morning's breakfast was coffee without the paracetamol so must be doing something right!!
Thurso DD2 leaves on September 28th, 4 days after her 18th birthday to go and work in Spain for a year as an au pair. I am trying to briskly cut apron strings and think what a great experience it's going to be for her but......
DD1 still at home but going to college next week and will start looking for digs as soon as she gets a job to pay for it.
mouse glad you are back and that wee nemo is being a trooper. Give him a hug from his auntie demented.

MOrning everyone. On a bit of a roller coaster here at the moment. Lots of hastle with XH, he made my DS ring me last week to ask me loads of questions and it really upset DS. Well my Mum blames me for it!!! Been drinking a bit too much the last few days so need to have a couple of no alcohol days I think

Why is your mum blaming you Zany? and blaming you for what?

She is blaming me for my DS getting upset when his twat of a Dad got him to ring me. XH was sending loads of texts asking me question after question and I had had enough and so when he kept asking me I didn't answer, stubborn I know but have had it with him quizzing the kids about what is going on in my life. So he got DS to call me and ask and he was in tears asking why I was giving his Dad hastle!

Am just sick of my family blaming me, this is my XH who hit me and has recently been aggressive towards me in front of my DC's to the point that I don't let him in my house anymore. He is very good at playing the victim. I constantly talk to the kids about how they are and I am very close to them but I always feel that I just don't quite measure up as a parent in my parents eyes.

Also they are annoyed with me for being in contact with my XP whom used to live with me and the DC's for almost 2 years. He wasn't very nice at times/emotionally abusive but I have seen him a few times recently and he seems completely different. My parents never liked him and my DC's are a bit unsure because of how he used to be.

Zany I can understand why your parents are concerned about you being in touch with your xp if he was abusive to you, but as far as your xh is concerned he is bang out of order using your ds like that.

How old is ds? Is there any way he can tell his dad he doesn't want to be the 'go between'? FWIW I think you are right to ignore the intrusive texts and ban him from your home. Can you agree with your ds that you will not discuss your relationship with his dad on the phone but that you will be happy to meet with him (ds) and talk? That way if he is forced to phone you, you can just make arrangements to meet then hang up.

He is 10 and my DD is 8. I have said to him that if his Dad asks any more questions then to tell him to ask me himself and I have said the same to XH. I just find the whole thing frustrating as I am trying to look out for the DC's best interest and help them to get on with their Dad's new girlfriend and son but I get blamed for messing things up anyway!

I knew my parents and most people I know would be puzzled as to why I am in touch with abusive XP but he does seem to have gone through a bit of a transformation. I'm just meeting occasionally as friends as I want plenty of time to pass so that I am sure he really is different before I think of getting back together with him.

Zany, you say you are in touch with abusive XP, and that your children are wary of him, does that not ring alarm bells with you, in my experience children are very intuitive and there must be a reason they don't trust him.

I see what you mean Obrigada but they are wary of anyone these days including even my friends. My DS said last night that he would prefer it if I didn't go out with anyone and he isn't keen when friends visit. The result of which I feel quite isolated and tend to not invite many friends round because of the hasstle I get. I try and make sure I spend lots of time with just them but it does feel that they just don't want me to spend any time with any other adults. I often go days without talking to other adults apart from when I'm at work

limpy BOING!

i have been to the docs and he says i have an inflamed tendon in my foot!, and guess what? wearing high heels is a 'good thing'! , it helps to relax the thing! HA! goes to show you MOTHER that my shoes have not caused me to be 'crippled'!!!

SAF - we have booked all inclusive to cuba [cant wait!! ) i felt quite scared when i booked it as it felt almost like a 'free pass' to drink - when i talked about it with dh he pointed out that i actually tended to drink less on holiday as i dont like to get dehyrated in the heat (this is true but i hadnt done it consiously iyswim?) anyway, im trying very hard not to project BUT, im looking forward to buying some good books to read, im going to treat myself to some massages etc and i intend on doing some serious swimming and generally treating my body with a bit of kindness!, i know the hotel will have a fruit/soft drinks bar, i intend to avoid the 'swim-up' bar and the cocktail lounge - my plan for the plane is to remember all the cases i have read about people going doo-lally and fighting and diverting planes and going to prison (i have a feeling that after all this time just one sip at high altitude would turn me into a banshee! if that is not true please dont tell me otherwise, im hanging on to the thought for grim death! ) so, instead of a posh piss-up im going to use my holiday as a bit of a 'spa' style break where i come back glowing and healthy and possibly a bit fitter instead of hungover and sunburnt (cos booze and sun are a 'skin nightmare') i also have a plans to 'surprise' dh i think a couple of sober sunny relaxing weeks will do us the world of good!