The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Head To The Summer Of Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse

Welcome aboard The Brave Babe's Battle Bus. There are a whole host of lovely posters here who will support your journey to sobriety, however you choose to get there.

We are a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers and those who are somewhere in between.

BUT - we will never judge or leave a poster out in the cold. So, find a seat and settle down for the journey ahead.

And HERE is the last thread and those before it too. Just follow the links to read the journeys so far.

Frumpy (want to call you something more positive!)

You know that if you drink you'll just end up even more pissed off, don't you? The nice warm numb feeling doesn't last long (IMHE)

Kandi My dh drinks very little. He used to drink the occasional beer (two at most) in the evenings but he hasn't done that since I first went to AA. I don't think I can be trusted to have alcohol in the house yet because my danger points now are less when I'm hacked off and more when I'm just not thinking about it too much, so it's easier for me not to have the option to crack a bottle open without having to put effort into getting it into the house.

He isn't tee total, btw, he drank my share of the champagne at my birthday meal last week (was an offer which included two glasses of champers) and that was fine with me.

Hmmm, what else does he do to support me? Well, he didn't leave on the couple of occasions when I've picked up a drink (sorry, not very helpful ). He doesn't ask me much about AA, never complains when I say I'm going to a meeting - even if it's every night of the week, and tbh i think he's just happy so long as I'm not drinking.

I hope that eventually we'll both feel comfortable enough with it all that he can start having a beer or two in the fridge if he wants to and it's entirely his choice when he does that because his drinking is really none of my business, seeing as how he isn't an alkie 'n all

Venus thanks for the link. I shall get myself some of the cordial I think, and some cheap bottles of fizzy water, it's bound to be cheaper that way rather than buying it all fizzy already.

frumpy I hope I am not too late to say that whatever the problem is, it won't be improved by having a drink... how about chatting it through here instead. I won't be around much, but I will try to keep an eye out for you. Have a large cold drink of something non alcoholic now and get typing.

X post Holly I hope you are having a good weekend, just to let you know everything STILL appears to be working OK

Talk to us, fg. Get it out and we will not judge, but maybe you won't feel the need to drink. I'm around for a bit if you need to rant.

Hi BB I'm having a fine weekend so far thanks! well, apart from some stress yesterday when some idiot teenager set up a facebook page (public) announcing that there was a party at our house last night 200 kids said they were coming! I had the police on standby and then... nothing. No-one showed up at all (there never was a party, btw, it was complete fiction). All a bit mysterious but no harm done

Glad to hear that it's all working properly

Meeting later, quite looking forward to it!

hey all.
struggling with Day 1 here - had 4 limes and tonics already and still a few hours until bedtime.....
Got to do this....

You can do this ma, you've done it before.

Does picturing it through to the end help at all? When you think of that first drink, immediately then picture yourself and another and another... until you've a soggy mess in floods of tears who cannot walk in a straight line.

thanks Golly
I'm hanging on grimly....

...and think of how shit you'll feel in the morning, if in fact you manage to sleep that long. Think of waking up at 5am in a panic with your stomach churning with both fear (of what you might have said or done) and because you can't quite decide if you're going to throw up or not.

Drinking is lovely, isn't it?

Rather than hanging on by your fingernails, try to relax. I know it's harder said than done but perhaps a nice hot bath?

Sorry, keep thinking of things that might help!

Have you eaten? make yourself something to eat, a proper meal. Eat something sweet afterwards to raise your blood sugar. Because you've been drinking recently your body is used to your blood sugar being high.

What do you enjoy doing ma? Buy a trashy magazine and read it, or get a dvd, or write a novel or your memoirs, or do an online jigsaw or play a computer game. Anything to fill up your time. And whatever you do will be cheaper than buying booze.

Or go for a run . Or go upstairs, lean out of your bedroom window, look across the river and see if you can see me waving at you.

Or re-read MIFLAW's post - something in that touched you, do you know what it was?

ma THIS used to be my favourite time-wasting game (in fact I'll now need to delete the link because I've got so much to do this evening and no time to waste on this - well, maybe just one game, to see if I can still remember....)

venus I don't understand that game - some of the balls sparkle...do I click and drag or what? I scored nothing

i think it was this in MIF's post that struck a chord

"I sense - and I know you will correct me if I am wrong - that, when you say "I want to drink," knowing as you do how drinking makes you feel, you actually mean "I can't stand the idea of not drinking." Which is not the same thing at all."

I am scared of a life without alcohol even though I know so many of you say how much better it is without it, and I believe you. It's just such a hard habit to break.
Thanks for posting and keeping me focussed, golly and venus

Ma sorry I wasn't around earlier, I hope you made it through day 1, congratulations!

ma you are trying to get 3 balls in a row to get points (you get even more points if you get 4 in a row). If you click on two adjacent balls they swap place.

What is it about not having a drink that scares you? not being able to let go and relax? not being able to let your hair down? or just always feeling that you have to be big enough / strong enough to say 'no'? I've been through all of those feelings (and more), but I have to say I've had more deep fun and happiness without a drink than I've remembered for many a year. In recent years drinking hasn't been a light-hearted high, it's been a weighty, needy depression.

Sleep well all.

Morning all! Feeling a bit boingy today, even though I'm tired (didn't get home from work till 2.45, bah!) and all the stress in my life is still there. Have a sneaking suspicion that the boingyness might stem from being on Day 3 (again, ahem)!

I did have 2 small glasses of wine and 1 Gin&Lemonade on Thursday, which wasn't a lot, but it made me feel RANK the next day. Ugh.

So I'm back at Day 3 and it's all good this time. Did bar work last night for the first time this year last night - it's the most effective alcohol deterrent ever! You see all these people come in, bright, happy, civilised, dressed up to the 9s. 5 hours later the majority (or maybe a very visible minority) of them are slurring, nonsensical, crying, throwing up, being rude, and just generally embarrassing themselves . And they aren't even aloholics! It's like a particularly damning mirror being held up in front of my face. Add that to the smell of jager, tequila, sambucca and red wine combined, and the fact that you can't wash the stickiness off your hands for days after, and you've got a great recipe for abstinence!

Ma and Frumpy, I hope you managed to get through the evening without succumbing, it'll all be worth it in the end. Ma, I know lots of people on here get on really well with substituting alcoholic drinks for soft drinks, but it didn't work for me for some reason, I think because it didn't help me to break the habit of not picking up a glass (of anything) in the first place. Total displacement activity seems to work better. Just a thought, re your 4 limes and tonic. Guess some techniques work for some, and not others!

Hope everyone else is well and happy this morning, despite the weather!

morning babes!!! feeling a bit flat here today, tbh, i think im just over tired, stressed out (work!) under-paid and under appreciated!

i drove for over 8 hours yesterday on a journey that that should have 4! then went to see a small nephew get a football award, then went to see dd for a while (and then i wonder why im tired! )

anyway - back to the main topic!, dh and support my dh has been incredible with the odd bout of fucking useless! he stayed when all was shit, has encourged me, jollied me along, tried to say the right thing and has NEVER told me i cant have a drink - i cant count the number of times i have sulked, stroped about etc, even got so far as to pick and smell his wine (ugghhh!!), all he ever says is 'do you really think thats a good idea' which always stops me in my tracks - he has told me to 'go and log on and tell those ladies you talk too, i bet they will stop you'! he has been to al-anon, he listens, he accepts and he just loves me! - he does have a drink most evenings, just A glass of wine or A can of beer,(bloody odd if you ask me! ) we have drink in the house, in my vho, it makes no odds as to it being here, if i wanted a drink that badly i would just go to the shop and get some (that is what works for me, may not work for everyone, i would say if you dont feel safe having it in the house, then ban it!)

what i couldnt stand would be a preachy know-it-all holier-than-thou -smug git though! , im afraid my character default is to rebel against being 'told' i cant do something!, its MY choice not to drink, i will not have it imposed on me, iyswim?

Thank you for the replies everyone. My DH is my most favourite person in the world and he has said that he can see my mind fighting against myself and just wants to help. Tbh if he has beer in the house I wouldn't give it a second thought as I don't drink it, its just red wine really which he wouldn't buy for himself.

Well once again last night I had a drink, I didn't even have very much, just a couple of glasses but I woke up at 7 stressing that I had done something embarrassing or been silly in front of friends. I don't even know why I was so worried as I could remember everything and knew in my heart it was just a pleasant evening, it's like I don't even trust my memory at all after having a drink even if it is one.

Please bare with me reader...I will get there eventually. Today all left over wine is down the sink and I WILL NOT DRINK !!!!!

Hi

Am trying to stop but am finding the constant pressure from those around me very hard.Obviously friends know I drink alcohol so when I go out I get a constant barrage as to why I dont drink anymore.
One friend mentions it all the time -any ideas ?

Hi Lostsock and welcome
I'm not much of a help at the moment but there are many on here who will be able to assist. Welcome!

On the plus side I am back running again and managed a 5K this morning on my own which was good, if bloody hard work. have been to a retirement do this afternoon and had two glasses of non-alocholic punch, 1 very small wine and soda, and 1 elderflower cordial.
All very nice but I want alcohol...this time of the evening kills me.....

Family party I drank half a glass of champagne (toasts) and left the rest and avoided being plied with wine, whisky, cider and god knows what else completely

Thanks babes - I feel like I have got my choice back if that makes sense...just because the drink is in front of me I don't have to drink it...who knew?!

Thanks dementedma
Always struggle in the evening -tend to have a cup of tea while I cook and make sure I eat early.

Cor, it's quiet on here today.

Hi Lostsock (want to type Lockstock, gah!), nice to see you here

Like ma, I'm probably not in a great position to advise, currently recovering from a tumble off the bus! FWIW if I'm not drinking I either tell people the truth, ie I don't want to drink because I don't want to get drunk, and with me that's always a risk, or, with my DH's support, I just make sure that I'm the designated driver. People don't even notice that he's not drinking either!

Well done for keeping it in check this afternoon ma. Be proud of how well you did, do the drill and try not to succumb this evening!

I'm well fed and relaxed this evening, despite dreading tomorrow, so I'm not feeling the urge. Drinking grape juice and working in front of the very delayed F1 till bed time. Sigh...

Will be Day 4 tomorrow though, hooray!