Loud
There is nothing to knock off - as I have already said, I am happy to agree to disagree. I am not aware of ever having had this conversation with you though - were you here under a different name?
You say that the drinking helped; but then you say that there was no good reason.
FWIW my own experience of situations like this is that it left me very vulnerable. When, having realised that I had a problem with alcohol, I drank again, my view is that it left me very vulnerable. Life happens - having once drunk because of a professional failure or a relationship problem, the temptation to break my sobriety again for the next professional failure or relationship problem was more of an issue than it needed to be. Essentially, there is a first time for everything, and there is certainly a first time for everything sober; until I finally made it through each first time, I was living in fear of that first time.
So, perhaps I expressed it clumsily, perhaps you don't like my tone, perhaps you find me charmless - but my advice to you, if you are interested in taking it, is to get clear in your head which it is - whether the drink helped or whether it was a lame excuse. Because this, or something like it, is going to come again and again, and if you respond to this trigger by drinking each time then your sobriety is going to be fragile and miserable.
I am sure you are aware all of this so, as I said before, if you don't find this helpful, please ignore it. Not everyone here can give advice that everyone will welcome.