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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

1000 replies

TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse · 03/12/2010 16:22

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome. Xmas Smile

Here is the history so far -

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Thread 2

JWN's original thread

OP posts:
venusandchristmars · 08/12/2010 14:23

Afternoon, and hello again to munky. I was going to write 'nice to see you on the bus' but that feels like a bit of a mixed message - it'd be better really if none of us felt like we needed to be here in the first place!

desire you asked about the 'aquired taste' of alcohol... I have read the same book so my views are probably influenced by that, but I did like sweet alcoholic drinks when I was younger (cointreau and lemonade, pernod and blackcurrent, sweet german wine) - is that not why the drinks industry started making alcopops, so that young people who didn't like the sour taste of alcohol, could enjoy the benefits of a vodka or six? I deistinctly remember 'learning' to drink gin - started with gin and grapefruit juice (the grapefuit disguises the taste of the gin), then moved onto gin, grapefruit juice and tonic, then to G&T. I also had a wonderful holiday to France with the expres intention of learning to drink brandy. Surprise, surprise I was successful.

andamunkyinapeartree · 08/12/2010 14:23

LRD congrats on getting your book finished. Like you, I need to stop this destrcutive behaviour as I think it will kill me. I want to start the new year with a new me and I think it's going to be best to start now, prior to Christmas.

WasAwayIndieManger · 08/12/2010 14:27

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venusandchristmars · 08/12/2010 14:28

That sounds like a good plan munky. Lots of people will wait until the new year - you on the other hand have the potential to miss out on a load of hangovers, to enjoy and remember the festive season, and to get lots of essential practice at going to boozy events and saying "actually I'd love a cranberry and soda".

WasAwayIndieManger · 08/12/2010 14:31

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MIFLAW · 08/12/2010 14:31

Loud

There is nothing to knock off - as I have already said, I am happy to agree to disagree. I am not aware of ever having had this conversation with you though - were you here under a different name?

You say that the drinking helped; but then you say that there was no good reason.

FWIW my own experience of situations like this is that it left me very vulnerable. When, having realised that I had a problem with alcohol, I drank again, my view is that it left me very vulnerable. Life happens - having once drunk because of a professional failure or a relationship problem, the temptation to break my sobriety again for the next professional failure or relationship problem was more of an issue than it needed to be. Essentially, there is a first time for everything, and there is certainly a first time for everything sober; until I finally made it through each first time, I was living in fear of that first time.

So, perhaps I expressed it clumsily, perhaps you don't like my tone, perhaps you find me charmless - but my advice to you, if you are interested in taking it, is to get clear in your head which it is - whether the drink helped or whether it was a lame excuse. Because this, or something like it, is going to come again and again, and if you respond to this trigger by drinking each time then your sobriety is going to be fragile and miserable.

I am sure you are aware all of this so, as I said before, if you don't find this helpful, please ignore it. Not everyone here can give advice that everyone will welcome.

venusandchristmars · 08/12/2010 14:33

Hi wasindie that's what I've been doing this morning. I've shredded loads of old paperwork too - very cathartic!

LoudRowdyDuck · 08/12/2010 14:47

MIF, yes, namechanged, but I promise we've gone through this before. I'm not up for another kicking.

munky - sounds good, we'll look forward to a sober Christmas! Smile Btw, you are very kind, but it's not a book and it's not finished! Blush It's my thesis.

rachelmummy · 08/12/2010 14:49

Hi,

Please can I join? I decided yesterday that I had a drink problem (which, realistically, I decided a litle while ago) but more importantly, I decided to change things. Just for me, for the person I want to be, the mum I want to be.

No one in RL (real life, right?) would ever suspect I drink too much. I'd actually go to say that many friends think I'm pretty much tee total. When I go out, I'm unlikely to drink because once I start, I get bladdered and I struggle to drink at the same (sensible) rate as others - so I only ever rally drink alone.

I don't really have any support in RL and would like to chat to people here just to talk about the ups and downs of being sober.

MIFLAW · 08/12/2010 14:53

The ups and downs of being sober - tbh it's all ups and no downs. Apart from, occasionally, drunk people being a lot more boring than when you're one of them.

However, getting there can be another story ...

WasAwayIndieManger · 08/12/2010 14:54

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LoudRowdyDuck · 08/12/2010 14:55

Hi there rachel. Smile

andamunkyinapeartree · 08/12/2010 14:56

LRD - oops! Just sounded like you were writing a book Grin

Hi rachelmummy, hop aboard, we love to chat! It's a great place to try and get your head round your 'ishoos' Smile

LoudRowdyDuck · 08/12/2010 14:57

I wish, munky! Grin

WasAwayIndieManger · 08/12/2010 14:59

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WasAwayIndieManger · 08/12/2010 15:00

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MsGeeupaChristmasTree · 08/12/2010 15:24

Hello babes. Am on the bus again, after a weekend off.

Must get life in order.

Christmassy cheer to all, hope you are all ok, Wasaway love the new name x

MsGeeupaChristmasTree · 08/12/2010 15:25
biancacbwantsaquietchristmas · 08/12/2010 15:33

hi to everyone i haven't met before.

I too was allowed a sip from my mum's wine from an early age - what I didn't know then was that my mum had alcohol abuse issues when i was a toddler (you'd think she'd have known better). I too think I got a taste for it from an earlier age - I drank like normal people when I was at uni for the first few days and then just snowballed.

rachelmummy · 08/12/2010 15:38

Oh, Hi!

Thankyou all for your messages.
I'm actually very similar to you WAIM. I can turn down any drink except white wine. I never touch spirits or beer. Just wine.

Was drinking a bottle a night (after kids had gone to bed) and that was managable (though, like you, I do appreciate that's still a massive exageration of 'normal' but it was OK) but then I started drinking earlier and earlier. Often when I got the kids dinner (so, about 5pm) and then I'd have finished the bottle before 'my time' off so I started getting two.

It's easy to get away with, as so many places do '2 bottles for a tenner' or whatever, so it's easy to pass off buying two. But that's when the problem started. I wouldn't finish the second bottle, so felt like this was 'OK' Hmm but then I started finishing the second bottle with lunch... and then last week, I woke up at 3am and finished the second bottle Blush

At that point, I knew that I had a problem which really needed to be addressed.

thankyou to all the warm welcome. It's much appreciated.

venusandchristmars · 08/12/2010 15:52

Hello R-Mum and welcome. And well done for being honest. Your description of drinking sounds very similar to mine (although I don't think I've ever done the 3am one). Are you on your own with your dc?

Have you been drinking so far today? Or what are your plans for making dc's tea tonight? you'll find that posters on here have lots of helpful ideas, and support for when things get tough.

RedTinselMoomin · 08/12/2010 16:09

rachel welcome to the bus! All sorts of drinking patterns on here. You don't need to be having vodka on your cornflakes to have a problem! What you describe is the progression and escalation that hits us all. Have you got support in RL?

desiretochange · 08/12/2010 16:11

Venus can I ask how long it is since you read the book, were you drinking at the time?
Oh and hello to all the other brave babes, sorry if I am a bit distracted at minute!

venusandchristmars · 08/12/2010 16:31

desire it was probably 5 or 6 years ago, maybe longer. Oh yes I was drinking at the time. As I said, it helped a lot for a while, but I just slipped back into it all again.

jesusthisstableiscrowded · 08/12/2010 16:34

hello RM, nice to meet you! and munky, nice to have you back!

i have never been a spirit drinker, though if there no choice i could always have managed to become one - same with beer, tbh, that is one thing i have missed, i have always liked real ale, not in huge quantities, but i used to enjoy beer festivals,(do you know, i have never been drunk at a beer festival! Xmas Confused, there is nowt so odd as an alkie eh! Xmas Grin) i like the taste of a nice pale ale, never drank it 'professionally' iyswim? but i suppose i have had my last now!, oh well, hey ho, such is life!, if thats my biggest worry then im not doing too badly! Xmas Grin

like most of us, my dps gave us all a little drink now and again, as i have with my dd - i dont think it turns us into alcholics - my dd still asks for juice or water instead of wine at home - im becoming more and more convienced that alcoholism is an allergy of some sort.

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