The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

well done embracing - congratulations on getting through day 3 - sleep well.

So nice to hear that you are going to look after yourself, it is really rewarding. Just one word of caution - about setting yourself too many things to tackle at once. In particular giving up smoking and drinking at the same time can be a real toughie. I don't know if you read diabolik's recent posts - he'd been sober for a couple of weeks then went on a bit of a crazy night, and it all started with a cigarette.

I am NOT saying that you shouldn't try, but if all your resolutions are in the same box marked "making my life better" then slipping on one can trip you into just giving up on the others too. Try at least thinking about them seperately so that missing out on exercise doesn't mean you have to have a drink. Does that make any sense?

One day at a time.

One day at a time (curls up in the back seat of the bus)

venus Yes I wondered about stopping smoking at the same time, but I figured that because I'm using hypno it should be effortless (used this before and stopped for 6 years...only started again because of the marriage break-up). Here's hoping, but I'm wondering whether I should wait until the drinking is not such a white knuckle ride first?

Hi,

Is there a spare seat for me?

After any false starts, have finally decided that I REALLY need to do something about my drinking. I am really struggling, and just want to get to a stage where I am not calculating every second of the day how long it is before I can start drinking again.

Have been lurking on these threads for a while, and admire your bravery. I want to be brave too.

My first huge challenge, which I am scared about.... going to the pub this afternoon with some friends. Cannot put it off, and scaed stiff that I will 'just have one' glass of wine, then everything will be lost.

welcome clearandpresent always plenty of seats (and this bus has the biggest back seat in history).

You have been brave already by getting up today and posting on this thread. What is your intention for this afternoon? To not have any alcohol? To limit your drinks? If the 'one glass' will lead inevitably to getting pissed, then you need to develop some strategies to not even having one.

What do they serve in the pub that you can stand to drink? (I find that more than two fizzy waters are difficult to take). Can you try different drinks? Does the pub serve coffee?

What reason are you going to give? Driving, feeling sick, having a bad headache, so badly hungover that you do not dare touch a drop, antibiotics, dodgy stomach, a potential emergency later that might mean you will have to drive?

And what will you do to distract yourself? Do you have a phone where you can read some of the posts on here (or even log on). Could you spend some time today making a list of all the positive reasons that you want to get back in control of your life - take the list with you, and have a sneaky look every time you go to the loo. Treat it like an investigative journalism assignment and 'watch' what unfolds before your eyes as your friends get drunk.

And finally, this afternoon sounds like a really tough gig - so whatever happens, don't give up. Come back on here and jopin in whenever you feel like it.

embracing do you think hypnotherapy would work for drinking? If I understand correctly you would have to really, genuinely want to give up (if your unconscious mind still wants to drink, then it is less likely to work) but if it worked for your smoking, then maybe if you had the same mental attitude about drinking, it might help that too?

What made you hate smoking? the effects on your health, how it made you smell, how much money it cost - could you apply all the same to your drinking?

Hello Clear - jump on - here is your open ticket - as Venus says plenty of room on the back seat - come and snuggle down and get comfortable - today we are going to take a gentle drive to the stunning Welsh coast line - Cardigan Bay to be exact.......

Mouse where are the bacon and egg butties and flasks of tea and coffee

and Clear if I may be so bold to suggest - tell your friends that you have got flu and can't go out?????

morning!!!, nice to meet you clear!!, i have to say i echo silver, you have set yourself up for a bit of a task - im not saying you have to become a hermit, just maybe get a few sober days under your belt before you go back in a pub, im pretty sure i would have caved if i had been in one on the first day!

embracing, again im echoing, venus this time!, i think one thing at a time is good! (i had hypno many years ago to stop smoking, the bloke was so bloody irritating, droning on about waves crashing and clouds moving i couldnt wait to get out and have a fag! ), i did give up 12 years ago and have never had another one - i used the patches for the whole recommended 3 months, i found them invaluable!

im busy here today, got loads to do, im going to blast my oven with the new steam cleaner, i hate cleaning the bloody thing and i usually have a man in to do it, steaming it is myself is part of my economy drive! btw, i have spent NO money this week, am very pleased with myself - im also going to be brutal with my clothes, i reckon i have a few bits i can sell which i can then use to money for something new!, a plan eh!!?

Thanks everyone for your welcome! I went for a long walk after posting and tried to get my head together.

I wish I could avoid the pub, but it is semi fun and semi obligation. When I was pregnant I used to drink pineapple juice and lemonade- sounds sickly, but was just 'special' enough that I did not feel like I was really missing out. But the thought of having that all afternoon. ugh. Not sure what my hopes are... originally total abstinence. Maybe if I say that I am alternating a drink with a soft drink... although I have been down that path before.

I need to think about it.....

I LOVE the idea of taking a list of positive reasons and every time I feel like I will cave looking at it in the loo. Hmmm. Great idea. :) So many GREAT reasons to give up, so FEW reasons to keep drinking.... it is making me fat, it makes me depressed, it is severely affecting my relationship with DH, it makes me hate myself. What reason can there be to drink? I do not even like the taste of alcohol! Bloody alcohol, cloody bloody thing.

Happy to snuggle up and eat bacon butties on the bus. A welcome respite from my life!

clearandpresent for me the most important thing is not having the first drink. So if for example you were going to alternate drinks then make sure (as though you life depended on it) that the FIRST drink you have is non-alcoholic. That way it avoids the danger (that I would certainly have) of never switching back over from alcohol.

It also sets your intention for the afternoon (clear signal that you are drinking less). If you are worried what you will say / what other people will think, then you don't need to tell them you are not drinking at all - just go into the pub, say that you are really, hot/thirsty and you're going to start with a pineapple and lemonade, or that you're frezzing cold and you're going to start with a coffee.

That is ALL you need to worry about at the start - getting in and getting one non-alcohoic drink. Don't start off by worrying about the whole afternoon

Then after that, if you choose, you might manage another non-alcoholic drink. By then you'll probably find that your friends are starting to notice less what you drink / what your reasons are. So if you want to you can carry on. When it is your turn to go to the bar, get a coke without the rum, or a tonic without the gin. Look on it as an experiment - finding out which drinks you can enjoy (and that means actually enjoy the taste and feel refreshed/warmed by), and finding out how you feel about having an alcoholic drink after you have had one (or two, or even three) non-alcoholic ones.

I am not suggesting that you have to have alcohol btw but if you look on it as an experiment, time how long you can actually delay your that first drink etc, then 1) you might not experience the sense of failure that says "fuck it, I might as well get trashed"; and 2) you might even find that you don't need to have a drink at all.

Let us know how it goes.

Hi Clear! Welcome to the bus. I'm sure you'll find this place really helpful...I certainly have.

venus I've just phoned the hypnotherapist and delayed my appointment for two weeks. The drinking thing is the priority, and I would have postponed the hypno for even longer, but the smoking is getting to the stage where I'm not enjoying it and it's stressful as I don't want the kids to know so take today for example, I haven't had one all day and won't be able to until they go to bed at 8.30. Also my mum is coming to stay in December so I definitely need to have stopped by then!

Thanks for reminding me about hypno and drinking.I enquired about it awhile ago(wasn't this therapist) and the lady said she didn't do it. I'll ask this new lady if she can do it for alcohol. Good idea!

Thanks venus for the ideas. I have been reading over the thread, and like the idea of not having the first drink... several pages back someone said 'it is only the first drink I can't have'. That made me laugh, but also made it seem easier somehow.

My plan is to start with a becks non -alcoholic beer, to make it seem less like I am not drinking. I know that no-alcohol beer can be a controversial topic, but for today I think that is what I need.

I also did a rough and conservative calculation of what MY drinking costs us a year. Just mine... the sneaky trips to the pub I do when grocery shopping. The extra bottles of spirits I have to buy to top up our decanters so I can hide the extent of my drinking from DH, the wine, etc. My drinking alone costs us about £4,000 a year. I am shocked. I only earn £24,000, and if I got a £4,000 pay rise I would be thrilled. Yet, that is £4,000 after tax that i am just drinking away and pissing away. £4,000 a year.. what that could for paying off our mortgage.... other things. I have always wanted to have monthly facials, but at 48 quid I thought it was too expensive..... yet what I spend on booze.... fuck me.

clear - i have just been and got a few bits from the shop, i reckon i will spend about 30 quid this week on food - i KNOW that i would have at least doubled that had i been buying wine for the week!, that in itself is a sobering thought!, btw, just think of the holiday you could have with 4K , honalulu here i come!!!

embracing - go with the becks!!, i have one now and again just for a change - really nice!, all the taste none of the alcohol! (still full of sodding calories though!)

Afternoon Babes.

Just popping in to say hi and welcome to Clear

Becks does have a wee bit of alcohol in 0.05% so go easy!

I like mine with a dash of lemonade and slices of lime. Yum!!!

Off to clean, light the log fire, sort the washing and wait for the car crash that will be tonight's X Factor's vocally challenged contestant talentless feckwit Wagner, murdering a classic doing an Elton John song.

Hello...

I am poking my head in, feeling very sheepish because I have fallen at the first hurdle.

I met up with a very good friend today who is going through a hard time. We ended up sharing a bottle of wine. It was all very civalised, what with the dc being present, and not a drunken affair, but nonetheless, it gave me a taste for wine and I am now wanting more

I have been invited to another friend's this evening for a 'glass' of wine, so I know I'll end up having imbibed a bottle by the end of the day.

I'll tell myself it's all just a social thing, because my friends are also drinking, but I question myself- can I actually get through a Saturday without wine? Maybe not

COTP Don't worry, you're not the only one.

Don't feel bad about it. Feeling bad might lead you to think, 'Oh, Fuck it, I might as well go mad.' Drinking a cup of tea, going for a quick walk, or drinking a pint of water might help. Take it easy everyone.

JWN at your hypnotherapy.

STOP WITH THE FACES!!!!

We have all been there but the most important and crucial thing here, is that you have BOTH posted that you've already had a drink.

Well done!

We would never have known, no-one would be any the wiser. But YOU posted because you wanted us to know. And as a little cry for help??

YOU CAN get through a SAturday without wine but you have to WANT TO.

And, by all accounts, you are not there yet. But, you will be.

It's early days yet. So go, go have fun and more wine. But maybe, for a change, be more sensible about it?

So, have a soft drink in between? Or water? Drink slower? Have one or two less?

STAY AWAY FROM THE 'FUCK IT' MONSTER!!!!

Stay in control. YOU say how much you drink. No-one else. Yes, your friend might 'egg you on' but surely, she's not pinned you to the floor?

TAKE CONTROL.

If you want to remember tonight for all the right reasons, and enjoy it, then take control.

come on!! buck up!!! , you had a drink, oh well, start again tomorrow!, beating yourselves up will only make a bad situation worse!

Right, off to battle the vomit beast and give Nemo his last feed of the day.

Night Brave Babes xxx

I am here to post that I have had a drink.

BUT. :) I started with fizzy water. :) And the we shared two bottles of wine between 4, and for once I was NOT the fastest drinker and I was not looking for more wine. [well, if others had wanted it, i would have...] We got home an hour ago and I have been on peppermint tea since.

Not perfect, but not a disaster.

Feel okay. Wish i had had nothing, but not too bad.

about to have a shower and go to bed.

Feel okay.... tomorrow is another (hopefully sober) day.

Flouncing onto the bus this evening after catching up on 10 pages - YES 10 PAGES YOU BUNCH OF CHATTERBOXES!!!

Feeling a bit up myself wounded that nobody noticed I was missing

Some stupid bt engineer managed to cut my phone line & internet for 3 days

Littlelegs is feeling much better & after sleeping all day yesterday she has finally stopped coughing

I'm drinking again, well I have this weekend as it has been my birthday (poor excuse but there you go)
I plan to not drink during the weeks this week.

hi sleep fairy - glad to see you again.
I have lapsed terribly so have been mostly lurking. Not getting trashed and doing anything daft, but not on the soft drinks either.
I promise to get back on track next week.