The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

Hope that didn't sound flippant Noteven

That's encouraging, that it can get easier to resist after a while...CJ like your suggestion of thinking of yourself as a non-drinker (tee-totaller even) or just someone who chooses not to drink, like a Muslim.

I'm glad you've had luck on PoF noteven. I've had two pretty full-on relationships with men I met on paid sites but they both went tits up in spectacular fashion. I've been on and off PoF for quite a while too and not had any luck, until possibly now...
Haven't met this guy yet but done a bit of talking, emailing etc and we're meeting soon. Who knows.

Feeling a bit stressed at the moment because a British Gas engineer is trying to fix my useless boiler and is only seeming to make it worse. When he turned up I didn't have hot water but my central heating worked. Now neither of them do. I'd have been well into my second bottle by now but I'm handling it far better without. I'd rather be cold and sober than warm and pissed.

Night Night Wasindie, best way to cope with tiredness is to go to bed, not to pick up a drink, as you said during the week you realise that tiredness is one of the major triggers in your drinking!
Well done:)

I'm feeling tired and grumpy too but detirmined not to have a drink, more elderflower anyone?

Not for me BBB, have a mug of tea at minute, any particular reason why you are feeling grumpy?

Dipso any heat back yet??

well done all of you battling the voice tonight. i am having one glass as that's all there is in the house, fortunately.

Nothing in particular DTC a busy week at work, an hour or so in the supermarket and that little voice urging a nice big glass of red red wine. I am telling it to F the F off, but still feel a bit hard done by - it is friday after all

ah!!, i felt REALLY FUCKING HARD DONE BY earlier!, dh called to say would be a bit late home from work, did i want anything from the shop as he was going to get a bottle of wine!, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! ITS FRIDAY FUCKING NIGHT AND I WANNA GET PISSED!!!, well, i did for about 10 minutes , feel a bit silly now! , i have slammed stuff about in teh kitchen, proper DOLLOPED the dinner on the plates and done 'angry eating', now ive got indigestion! soppy tart!! , venus is right!, the craving does pass, im ok now, got to go and dd in a mo, couldnt have done that if i was a couple of glasses down could i? alls well again here, hope it is with you too bb?

'get' dd! doh!

I'm OK nothing an early night won't cure, got Aged Ps coming to stay this weekend so a bit tense about that as well.

well done jwn!

Evening all

• I'm feeling horrible...my ex is being vile - don't want to go into too many details on here, but I feel like sitting in a corner and crying...it's like going back 2 years. I always think he couldn't sink any lower and then he does.

I have had 1 can, stopped at that and have no intention of having any more...I jut feel at my wits end about how to cope with him and how to protect the DC.

noteven why not try loving yourself, instead of hating yourself? Might be even harder than giving up the booze, but I do know that in the moments when I can accept who I am, and love myself despite / because of it, then I am truly, deeply, madly happy (with or withou a bloke)

dispo stone cold sober eh?

Venus makes a big plea to the universe "SHUT UP wasindie's brain" let her go to sleep in peace.

dementedma good that you only have one glass - especially good that you have not been out to buy any more. Personally, at the moment, I think I would enjoy none, more than one glass - but then that's MY problem.

Aww JWN yes it's Friday night and we want to get pissed, but you do know that it could equally well have been Tuesday night, or Thursday lunchtime... bottom line is, any excuse, we'd just want to get pissed. I bet you are funny when you're angry - all blonde and wonderful, strutting round your kitchen on high heels with a furious face . But it is a furious sober face, and that face is what started all of us off on this particular track at this time. We love you JWN (very unlike venus - to give big kisses)

So sorry witchetychick well done for staying strong you are already doing a great job for your DC by staying in control of your drinking

evening witchety - live is crap sometimes isn't it? No glib comments will make it better, no happy chat willmake the pain go away, so I won't attempt any of that crap. Jusat letting you know that there is someone out there who has heard you, and who says that sitting in a corner crying is sometimes the OK thing to do.

Thanks....one thing I have probably learnt over the last few years is that however bad things feel, they don't stay feeling that bad...
I just hate the feeling of powerlessness...he is a completely loose cannon, says really upsetting things to me and DC, is in total denial about the fact that he is an alcoholic and projects it all onto me.

I know my DS is upset and confused but he is with the ex and there is nothing I can do....I feel so badly that we have fucked things up so badly for them.

witchey bottom line (if you read any psychology stuff) is that from the moment they are born we fuck them up. All of us - with or without drink - by being too protective, too permissive, having them in bed with us, not having then in bed with us, being cruel to be kind, whatever - you get the idea...

Yes of course, you are looking at particular events and behaviours, and thinking you have done some things badly, but the human spirit is a resiliant beast. You are in a place now where you can help your DS through the muddle and confusion that is life in generaAnd you are well placed to do that because you are sober and also because you've been in a crap place, you've tried resolving things in the wrong way (alcohol), and you're working out another better way. Your ds might learn from that and not make the same mistakes. I ceratinly think that one of my dds will learn from my mistakes and have a different way of dealing with things.

life in general. And...

[bloody typing]

Off to spend some quality time with dp - competitive youtubing!

Night night all. Sleep well.

Night girlies. Stone cold sober I am still :)Loving all this talk about cravings passing. And so they do.

Visit no.3 from Mr Gasman tomorrow but at least I won't be hungover. Dare I hope that I'll never be hungover ever again? But there I go projecting and I know that's not allowed. One day at a time ladies, one day at a time.

witchety - you being sober is the absolute best thing you can do for your children right now - by staying sober you are not adding to the mess!!, give yourself some credit for that! and remember, they wont stay children forever and they are not stupid! they will see the situation for what it is one day.

off to chat with dd, she is back from amsterdam, looks knackered, wonder what shes been up too!?

see you in the morning babes!!!

L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

btw venus, thanks for the XXX , according to dh i am quite amusing when riled!

Just had a bath and am trying to stay calm...I do know though that by being sober I can do the best that I can in what is a horrible situation.
Hopefully it will all feel less horrible tomorrow.
Have fun catching up with dd jesus
Night all
xx

Good night everyone.

So glad day 3 is over with. (Thank you venus!)

Gonna start concentrating on looking after myself:
1)Stop drinking
2) Start exercising again
3) Hypno on Monday to stop smoking
4) Start eating properly/drinking more water.

We all have so much to be grateful for in our lives. We need to start concentrating on the good that we have and build it up from there.

I love you guys! (I promise I haven't been drinking, but I do feel quite giddy and positive for some reason all of a sudden...natural high?!)