The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

At 36 I should know better

I'm 47 Zany and still don't know any better

Actually desire - I'm not at all fond of Christmas. I have bad memories of a very, dangerously ill Nemo, abusive ex partners, no money or food for DD when we were just us.....

So, this year, I am boxing those memories in my 'Oh Do Fuck Off' box and celebrating Christmas, with my children at the forefront of it and as a sober mummy and loving wife.

Next Tuesday (16th) is a year since Nemo had 6 hours of emergency open heart surgery with heart and lung bypass, battling against all odds and survived.

We may be having a tiny glass of fizz to celebrate the day.

Strangely enough Mouse I have never liked Christmas for some of the very same reasons as you don't but have decided this year (in my new "take action" mode) to relax and enjoy it and not moan about it constantly

OK babes, still really hectic so no time to reply to all the posts! But it's almost home time. Thank the fucking lord for that! Some of you might remember I was meant to be seeing XH tonight (after he cancelled last night) well he's cancelled again. Not bothered but I need clothes etc. So I have told him he must get out of our flat at 5pm and allow me some time to get some stuff. He's agreed to that. Which is good because FB must think I only own 1 pair of shoes, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of work trousers and 4 or 5 jumpers! It has been a challenge I can tell you!

I hope that everyone has a good weekend and you all achieve what you want to.

Bye until Monday x

Good luck Red and "see" you Monday, have a brilliant weekend:):)

Who needs clothes redmoomin ??

Have a good weekend. Stay safe, look after yourself, see you on Monday x

Trust you venus!!!

Red - have a fab weekend. Enjoy FB and ignore XH. You'll soon be leaving him behind FOR GOOD! Take good care, you know where I am. xx

You guys!

I have a question for the old-timers (ie those who haven't been drinking for a few months).

I'm wondering if it gets any easier with time, do you stop thinking about it so much and do you crave it less? I have a cousin who hasn't drunk for a year or so and she says it does. I'm on day 8 and feeling pleased with myself but not complacent. I'm conscious that at any moment I could succumb
and it would be nice to think that with time that feeling of living on the edge isn't quite so strong.

Venus that diagram is spot on and maybe if we understand the stages of transition and expect them, life would be a little easier, in that we have some understanding of the emotions we are going through xx

Dipso
I have found that the cravings do indeed reduce and are less intense. It is like changing any habit in the sense that now I automatically pour a soft drink with supper while DH has a glass of wine. BUT I do still have to think consciously about what I choose to drink when at any type of 'do', AND I do have times when the urge returns with a vengence but I feel better prepared/equipped to recognise it for what it is and distract myself or in JWN's words tell it to 'fuck the fuck off'!

Counting days worked for me initially and then I realised - not sure when - that I had stopped with days and had moved to weeks and now can say that I am 5 months (and a bit - that bit is just as hard won) sober.

This thread and the knowledge that I am not alone in this alcoholic challenge has been very important to me over the last few months. Thank you to everyone who has offered their experience, it has been invaluble to me.

OMG, please help! I SO want to go to the corner shop and get a bottle of wine.

Play it through to the end, play it through to the end, play it through to the end...

Well my experience is that is does get easier. The cravings are less frequent, and I have more tactics for dealing with them / distracting myself.

I still feel that I think a lot about drinking (or at least about not drinking) - that is why I am on here quite a lot. I still feel that there is a strong possibility that I would succumb if I opened a bottle - I do not think I am a single glass girl.

As I said in an earlier post, my dream would be to be NOT drinking and not to think about it or mind about it.

I also think that slowly, day by day, I might get there.

embracing what can you have instead? a glass of orange juice? what could distract you - can you phone a real life friend and chat for half an hour? Could you eat something sweet?

Have a bath and put your pyjamas on. Put all your trousers in the washing machine so that you have nothing to wear and you CAN'T go out.

Well done you for coming on here.

embracing read all these threads here. right from the very beginning of thread one.

Read any threads from people with aloholic parents.

Do something to distract your mouth (drink juice, eat, sing, kiss). Do something to occupy your hands - knitting, filing your nails, typing your memoirs. Do something to occupy your mind (google on-line jigsaws, write a letter).

MIFLAW has posted lists of alternative things to do. His lists always include 'masturbate'

Write down (actually write down with a pen on a piece of paper) what happened the last time you got horribly, shamefully drunk.

Everything, from how you felt at the beginning, what the drink tasted like, how you fell over, were sick, were hungover, felt guilty.

Take your time and put in every detail. Then read it. Maybe post some highlights here.

Embracing are you still around? have you got the wine? If you have then put it in the garden - put it away.

Try all the things in the above posts, then see if you still feel the same.

Venus you really are getting there and you are a huge inspiration to so many people.

It does get easier. This is going to sound a bit cheesey, but try to think of yourself as a different person - a non-drinker. Rather than someone who is struggling with not drinking. If you're out, be loud and proud - NO THANKS, I'LL HAVE A DIET COKE! Taking some pride in what you're doing, rather than thinking of it as a struggle, can be an enormous help.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

PS Love the idea of MIFLAW knocking one out every time he wanted a drink

Thanks so much venus. I read through your suggestions and just the thought of doing that writing down exercise made me burn with shame, so I didn't need to do it. The bit about reading posts from people with alcoholic parents shocked the craving out of me too, so no I haven't been to the shop.

I'm about to go run the kids a bath. Once they're in their 'jamas there's no way I'll bundle the poor things out of the house for a stupid reason like that. And if the craving comes back I'll start with the writing exercise.

Thank you so much!

Well done you! Enjoy bath time.

CJ - yeah who's that poor blind man - used to be an alcoholic

Or is that a myth about it making you blind?

Zany - I met my DP from PoF. I had seen 3 people from a dating site you had to pay for, and yes it seemed better, in my previous job where I was paid so much more. Two I split up with whilst the relationship was still very early days (a couple of months) one my choice and one his. The third I was with for 6 months or so and made the too intense too soon mistake. And it ended messily in very many ways. PoF attracts some strange people, that's for sure. But there are some very genuine people - my DP could probably have afforded to go elsewhere, but I am really lucky to have found him. I don't know whether it will be forever but we've had a great 15 months or so and our first date was the best first date I have ever had!

desire I thought that was really funny too! They should have it on amazon.

Mouse I hate Christmas too, for different reasons though. I wish I could be positive for myself. I will settle for not passing my hate onto DD. I am dreading it though already.

venus you are a real inspiration to me too.

I am struggling tonight with cravings. I hate it - hate what I have done to myself - the denial is really strong.

Embrace congrats on getting over your wobbly patch, good idea to come on here, and lucky Venus was around to see you through it:)
What a brilliant idea to sit down and write out in full your last experience of being drunk and all the shit that went with it!
Maybe Noteven you should take Venus's advice and use it to get over your cravings ?