The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Brewery!

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse and I've been on the bus for 2 months now and not fallen off it as yet. It's much more comfortable than The Wagon!

Anyway, this is thread number nine!

Everyone is welcome to join at any point of the journey, drinking or not, wanting to stop or just to cut down.

Jump on board, you won't be judged, just supported whatever you decide.

Here is the history of The Brave Babes if you want to have a read.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

'If I don't drink they are going to find me borning'

Yeah, cos a pissed up woman is way more entertaining to spend the night with.

Why on earth do you think that? Do you really believe that by not drinking your friends will find you boring? Really?

I don't think that they will. Not if they are true friends.

Do you believe that the booze gives you confidence to be louder, brighter, more chatty?

Do you think that if you don't join in they won't want to be with you?

Do you think that if you don't drink with them, you will not be able to speak a word?

We have ALL felt that at some point.

You don't need booze to be 'alive' and vibrant. You just need you xx

depeche do you have children
I found that when I was pg and I didn't drink that people certainly didn't find me boring. In fact I found it much easier to get on with people, I was more confident in fact. The only problem is having to deal with drunk people when you're sober! By about midnight they can be pretty pretty dull, repetitive, smelly and dour.

depeche hello! Welcome aboard.

I do understand where you are coming from and having had my first sober night out with friends recently, i felt the same. I felt the conversation was stilted and I wasn't 'myself'. I almost decided that in future I'd have 'just the one' when out. Just to help the conversation, not for me

Then I tried again and realised that I was full of shite. I didn't drink, I wasn't dull or boring and could chat, feel excited, engaged and had fun. The difference was that the second night I was too busy enjoying myself to think about drink, whereas the first night I sat gazing at my friends drinks feeling a bit peeved. I had a crap night the first time because I had made it into a big deal and I was feeling crap.

However, it was not as crap as getting so drunk that I missed a train, vomited on myself, fell over in the street, made unsafe decisions, make a twat of myself, jeopardised my career or any other things I have done whilst drunk. It was just a slightly crap evening. I got over it, no lasting damage.

I have rediscovered evenings of:
reading
nice baths
cooking (well sometimes...)
hot chocolate
chocolate
catching up on work (not yet super efficient but still...)
actually engaging with people rather than thinking where the feck is the DRINK, HURRY UP YOU IDIOTS WE NEED MORE DRINK.

Its a lot more relaxing than sitting there giving my DH the evils because he has failed to top up my glass or working out whether I can neck a glass in the kitchen silenty.

Drinking is like a little devil that sits on your shoulder, here I am determined not to drink today and then at lunchtime I discover that I will have the house free to myself for a few hours this evening, and immediate thought that popped into my head was "oh think i will call to friend this evening . ." which always results in alcohol being consumed.
However, took a longer route back to work and bought myself a hair colour which I am going to put in tonight so tonight my lovely babes I will not be drinking:)

"Well just as i was managing to pull myself out of my funk i ran into him at dd's school. Got me so down. So drank a bottle of wine. Of course that fixed nothing at all."

Christiana - what do you have in place so that, next time you run into him (or someone else, or you find a fiver, or your cat dies, or whatever) you think that BEFORE you sink the bottle rather than AFTER you sink it?

"Or do i just STOP drinking so i can get the depression under control" - maybe I'm missing something, but how exactly do you plan to do that?

Depeche

Stop in the order they'll kill you.

So stop the drink first.

"My drinking is purely a habit" - I used to have a habit of watching Casualty every week. I was religious about it. Then I stopped. I am pleased to report that, since doing so, I have not "accidentally" watched it, have not suffered physically or mentally, and have not noticed increased stress levels. I didn't even need to cut down. I just stopped - it's a miracle!

THAT's a habit. What you've got, by the sounds of things, is an addiction problem. The sooner you are able to face that, the sooner you can deal with it and beat it.

"If I dont drink they are going to find me boring !"

If you don't drink they are not going to give a flying fuck.

unless they are problem drinkers themselves - in which case it is highly likely that, sober, YOU will find THEM boring too (or perhaps the "wrong kind of exciting") and so the problem will not arise.

thanks miflaw, you're right i do need a strategy

depeche just try it, once, see what happens not drinking while out. Honestly no-one even notices after the first drink that you're nit drinking

or even not drinking, they may notice if you are drinking nits!

Yes, Christiana, you do need a strategy - but my point was more that you make it sound like something you're just going to decide and it will happen, whereas everything you've posted so far suggests that the exact opposite is the case.

I think you probably need sustained support from people who know what they are talking about in real life - and, for obvious reasons, my own suggestion for where that support should come from is AA. But, if you don't like AA, then you do need to find something else, and fast - because frankly nothing you have posted to date gives the impression that you are going to make it alone.

Sorry if that sounds horrible - just don't want you to suffer any more than is necessary.

Hi All
Woke up and felt almost normal! Day 4
TOday I choose not to drink.
Just a flying visit but love to all and I will catch up on what everyone is up to when I have more time.
x

evening!!, just waiting for dm to arrive!, (sigh), aonther evening of her battyness awaits, dh, the lucky sod, has gone to play football!

been to meeting today, as usual i feel quite grounded by it, i find the meetings get me into a zone of peaceful, positive thought - very good place to be imo!

if i dont get back later, i wish you all a peaceful sober evening!

miflaw you are flawless x

"miflaw you are flawless x"

So just MI then?

afternoon all, welcome all newcomers...depeche you were here earlier weren't you? Christiana, hope you find some peace...your postreminded me of my phrase' this that the other blah blah blah happened, so i went down a bottle...' It's no good. you know that.

I have joined a choir since i moved here a few weeks ago, really enjoying it but last night people went to the pub afterwards. uh oh i thought but couldn't duck out firstly because i had bagged a lift from my neighbour, and secondly because i really wanted to go, I'm in a new place and want to build friendships. Truth is, I still, in spite of the last few months, feel like an unsocialble billy no-mates if I decline alchohol. My problem. At least now I recognise it as a problem, but it's so much easier to order a drink in my world than it is to say, oooh, I'll have a lemonade plaese.

Thought I'd share... you all know allabout that, Thing is, in spite of declining in company, i had the biggest battle with the old whiskey bottle that i've had in yonks when i got home...

which i won incidentally!

depeche - how about you finish that drink, wash the glass up and think about doing something else? - even cleaning the kitchen is better than sitting there drinking, worrying, beating yourself up, waking up and and having to think 'bugger it, i did it again' - give your poor old kidneys a night off!

ooooh a choir algee!!, get you missus posh drawers!! what are the choiristers like?, are you making any friends there?