The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Brewery!

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse and I've been on the bus for 2 months now and not fallen off it as yet. It's much more comfortable than The Wagon!

Anyway, this is thread number nine!

Everyone is welcome to join at any point of the journey, drinking or not, wanting to stop or just to cut down.

Jump on board, you won't be judged, just supported whatever you decide.

Here is the history of The Brave Babes if you want to have a read.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

MsGee I have managed to calm DH down to the point that we are going to see where we are in 6 months time. I don't think he actually wants to get divorced and I have given him the time to think about it - just a case of wait and see I suppose. Although the main issue is my boozing there are also changes that he must make or we will not be able to move forward...

mouse poor you feeling so ill. Be as moany as you want lovely!

desire - yes, I am sure that my fanfare of departure is well known on this thread! Will be here until normal time today but on another half day tomorrow. Just to give you all prior warning !

Hi,

I don't know if anybody remembers me? I posted a while ago but I need to get back on the bus.

Hi Jab I am fairly new on the bus so I am afraid I don't
christi how are you getting on today?

Hi hippy, nice to 'meet' you, I've been drinking far too much and want to stop. But I'm struggling tbh.

Jab I remember you. Sorry you are struggling

hippy I am ok but my fuse is so short. I am too tired to swim but am going to have lunch and then go for a walk or something. I am feeling rubbish really. I have cried again. I am a mess. I just want to be doing something worthwhile istead of wasting my life feeling like this.

Christi, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.

Is your doctors appointment tomorrow? At least you've got that in place.

Christi

I can very much relate to depression and runs of bad luck.

It is important, however, that you realise that alcohol will interfere with the working of most anti-depressants and also that it is itself a depressant.

More generally, drinking abusively (which is how you drink by the sounds of things and is about a state of mind rather than quantities - half a can of beer or half a litre of scotch, the difference is purely phyiscal, mentally it is the same) is going to keep on making the bad things worse and the good things less good.

I am sorry that that is not what you want to hear, because we all know that stopping drinking can seem impossible, but those are the facts.

Be nice to yourself and stop.

Hi MIFLAW - that was very gentle for you!

Hello JAB so sorry to hear you have been struggling. Have you kept up with the thread at all? If so you will know that I have really been struggling of late. However, I am 9 days in again and feeling the benefit! Tell me more about your situation...

Hello hippy and christi too. Hope you're both OK today.

Hi Red

I've followed this thread right from the beginning and read it every day.

My situation...well I've got a 12 wk old DD who is absolutely gorgeous. There is nothing really bad going on in my life at the moment. We're secure financially, I've got a DH who loves me and a great family. However, when I drink I always drink too much.

I've done this for years and have a reputation as being a bit of a pisshead/liking a drink etc though I don't think anyone (except myself) would describe me as an alcoholic.

This has never really bothered me as much as it is now. I really want to change my ways for my DD. For one, it is no fun looking after a baby with a hangover as I am discovering today. But more importantly, I don't ever want her to think of me as a pisshead.

I need to get this sorted before she gets any older.

OK JAB, well the best piece of advice I can give you is to make a choice each day that you are not going to drink. Do not project - don't worry about Xmas, birthdays, weddings etc etc. For me, today, I choose not to drink. And tomorrow I hope to make the same choice. Are you drinking every day?

No, I can go days without drinking, but when I do it's like I don;t have an off switch. I can't or rarely can't stop at one.

Today I will NOT be drinking.

Easy to say though when you've got a hangover.

JAB - yeah I lost my off switch a long time ago! And I could/ can go for long periods of not drinking too. One thing that took me ages to get to grips with in AA was the phrase, "It's the first drink that gets you drunk." I used to think, "WTF?! Surely it's the 4th or whatever!!" I understand now that if I pick up that first drink I will get drunk. I will no longer be in control. I might stop at 2 or 3 on that particular day but sooner or later I am going to end up legless, climbing out of windows to get more booze and ruining my life even further...

Not sure if that helps at all!! Sounded a bit doom and gloom really.

No, I understand perfectly. It makes sense to me.

I've done some pretty horrendous things in my past because of drinking. And I'm terrified of doing something bad again now that I've got so much more to lose.

Although nothing 'bad' has happened for ages I know that it very easily could.

I know that the only way to avoid this is not to drink.

Sounds simple but it's not that easy.

"I don't think anyone (except myself) would describe me as an alcoholic." If you're anything like me then you may yet be surprised ...

Well, you have come to the right starting place! There's always room on the bus - it's a bit magic that way!

Just keep posting. If you feel like a drink try to distract yourself. Have lots of nice soft drinks to hand. Take your DD out for a walk, go for a bath, read a book. (Although I am guessing that taking time for yourself with such a tiny baby may be hard!) Be gentle with yourself. If you do drink don't hide from us. Come back, post. We are all here for each other. These ladies (and MIFLAW) have been amazing to me. I have slipped, slipped and slipped again but no one has ever told me to bugger off.

Basically, WELCOME!

Thanks red - that's a really lovely welcome. I'm going to keep posting, I think it might be the only way I can do this.

MIFLAW - you're probably right. I just don't have the nerve to ask. I'm not very good at accepting crticism.

JAB - soon enough it will be your turn to welcome someone to the bus! I don't really worry whether other people think I am an alcoholic or what. My family and close friends know that I am - and there are plenty of others who know too. (I tend/ tended to do a lot of my drinking in pubs so it's kind of noticeable especially in a town as small as the one I live in!) It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you stay away from booze, one day/ hour/ minute at a time. Whatever works for you!

Hi chisti try not to think of the big picture just now - am I sounding like a stuck record? One thing at a time - and if that is going out for a walk then just concentrate on doing that.
I am trying to stay calm and not look to far ahead just now as well - I just went to speak to a financial advisor - hoping for some miraculaous solution to the fact that I can't afford to live in this house or to do the urgent repairs - guess what - no magic solution!

My typing is so bad apologies for the numerous errors!
x

hippy hello! I am also in dire financial difficulties but I am facing up to them and just doing what I can. Did the financial advisor give you any actual useful advice?!

I went to see her mainly about the possibility of changing and extending my mortgage but I am tied in for another 4 years and the exit fees are huge, so she basically said that my best option was to downsize. I know I am lucky in that my house is worth a fair bit more than my mortgage, but my kids are so adamant that they don't want to move and I feel they have been through enough already.
My house is also needing loads done to it - I know I wouldn't get the market value. I wish I didn't have to make all these decisions on my own.

"MIFLAW - you're probably right." Yes, sadly, I probably am. Certainly I was the last to know that I was an alcoholic.

"I just don't have the nerve to ask." So don't.

"I'm not very good at accepting crticism." alcoholic is only a meaningful criticism if you are a DRINKING alcoholic. If you stop drinking, there is nothing left to criticise and it becomes a purely medical diagnosis, no more or less offensive than calling someone a diabetic.

But do I need to admit to my problem in order to recover?

JAB I think that as long as you admit it to yourself it's fine.