I have no words. £1.6 million Brentwood, Essex

[Another2Cats]

Just as the title, I really do have no words to quite capture how I feel about this property.

However, I do admire that whoever currently owns it went full-in on following their own aesthetic.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/170432882#/?channel=RES_BUY

Having kids birthday parties there would be popular. The pitches and pool.

A lot of so called 'celebs' live around there.

Is it a Big Brother house ? 😂

It would be better to ask 'do you want to afford it'? No, thanks.

This is a home created by someone no afraid of expressing themselves and embracing how they want to live their life. That ability to express and assert yourself is only to be admired.

How many people sneering live in homes that are decorated to conform to a look someone has told them is tasteful. How many people don’t even know what they like?

Clearly doesn't belong to anyone from pedants' corner here, judging by the 'Handsome Devil's Club'. Unless he likes being in a club of one.

Just shows money can't buy taste. Or discretion, it seems.

Who on earth would buy it? Unless you had a couple of million to spend on a joke!

Picture 12 - who wants to sit that close to a TV of that size?!

Most likely.
Trying to sell it before the POCA order comes.

Fantastic holiday house. Of I booked it for a weeks family holiday we would have a blast!

Think I would then be happy to go back home...

This is completely normal for Essex 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Same
Kids would love it

It's like a walking TKMaxx advert.
Each to their own! Am astonished how expensive Brentwood is though, it's not even a huge house.

That would be the best use for it, I think. Ball pits everywhere. Just lacking a giant flume in the shape of a python.

(in response to: Having kids birthday parties there would be popular. The pitches and pool.)

It’s a footballer’s house, they did what they liked and to their own needs and preferences.

Magnolia is boring, sorry.

I’m always puzzled by these people whose actual ‘forever home’ looks like a generic catalogue visualisation. It looks fine but so impersonal.

If I had a house project, I’d go full D&G on it.

My current house is probably considered ‘tasteful’ but has lots of bespoke wood features, floor to ceiling glass walls to let natural light in and no neutrals in sight.

While it’s easy to do your interiors straight out of a catalogue and embrace the current fashionable aesthetic, we’re losing individual artistic expression and bespoke commissioning.

Last sold in Sept 2024 for £812,500. Adjusted for inflation it would now be worth £845,934.07. Do people in Brentwood really pay 754k for 'improvements'?

The EPC tells me it's 119m2 without all that outside gubbins.

I would hate to be their cleaner.

It's not to my taste but it is fabulous in its own way.

Wondering if a giraffe would be equally at home in my cottage garden. I'd quite like one. Or a panda lurking in the shady corner, I could grow it some bamboo.

It is completely not my style, but i do kind of love it. It made me smile and i'm sure it's made the owners smile creating it how they want it, not how they think others will percieve it and i imagine they've enjoyed living in it.

Just a bit heavy on the astoturf and tarmac!!

It does scream lower division footballer doesn’t it.
I don’t absolutely hate it though and given I live in a chocolate box thatch that says something! I quite like the bathrooms.

Yep- when we moved in to our house we were warned to decorate in a neutral way so it was "easier to sell". Why would I want to feel like a temporary guest in my own house? It's not like this house but I'm sure Mumsnet would hate it. Not a single wisp of elephant's breath or wooden rainbow in shades of oatmeal to be seen.

I think they go to Costco a lot and buy BIG things!

I actually quite like it lol.

Aside from the mad decor, it really has a strange layout. All that money but just a kitchen/family room, bedrooms long and narrow and upstairs room need planning permission to adapt to full use. Other rooms are in separate buildings.
I do wonder how many people live there. The layout is totally impractical for families.

I'm confused by the basketball court/football pitch. Surely the ball won't bounce?

Very impressed with the beach effect in the pool although it's crying out for a wave machine.

Perfect for filming for your YouTube channel from!

I think its fabulous 🤣
I hope the pool is heated though.