I have no words. £1.6 million Brentwood, Essex

[Another2Cats]

Just as the title, I really do have no words to quite capture how I feel about this property.

However, I do admire that whoever currently owns it went full-in on following their own aesthetic.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/170432882#/?channel=RES_BUY

Versailles in miniature! Love the bathrooms and the giraffe. Need one of those!

The office is hideous! And the gold bathroom

It must be some kind of influencer's house

What is G.O.A.T.?
Very quirky items in the house, but it looks more like a place you would stay,, not live in such as air B and B,
must admit the wallpapered walls i do not like any of them
the pool is nice but bit fancy would rather have a straightforward pool

That didn't disappoint. Thought there might be more crushed grey velvet but oh well!

I actually quite like it. It's fun. Much prefer it to the "always winter and never Christmas" Mrs Hinch style.

I love the optimism of Rightmove though.

"Can you afford it?"

No. I cannot.

Very Towie or whatever, but having lived in Essex for 47 years I've never seen anything like that

Someone's been watching too many Selling Sunset 😂
"Aspirational" doesn't cover it.

I just firmly believe it should be illegal to replace real grass by plastic monstrosity. It's an environmental disaster. Apart from that, it's just more expensive that a lot of other houses, who would be just as good/bad if the owners could afford it

Greatest Of All Time

I love it!! They’ve made the most of every inch.

Fabulously Essex! I think the only thing they are missing is the lion statues either side of the gated driveway!

Teenager’s party house

If I had a spare £1.6 million I'd buy it as my close-to-London holiday home. Actually I'd need a spare more than that, because there are other things I'd buy (for me and my adult daughters) first. But I wouldn't mind it as a holiday novelty. I lack taste, I know.

Not my cup of tea and it's not very big, I would rather have spent the money on extending the property

That is the utility room of my dreams.

I love it too! 😆

I've seen FAR worse. This isn't even top 10 batshit. For a start, it's not consistently batshit.

It's like 6 people live there - the one with the Missoni wallpaper taste is probably ok, needs to learn to pattern clash more but it's not too bad.

The person who decorated the master bedroom is dull as shit.

Whoever was charged with the pool area is chef's kiss genius batshit no notes.

Whoever did the bathrooms has a lot of enthusiasm but no taste at all - and seems to have left their giraffe in the kitchen.

It's weird, but not the best (worst) I've seen by a long shot.

I like the inside but the outside is hideous. Imagine having nearly half an acre and turning the lot of it into tarmac and plastic grass. It’s an ecological crime.

I’m slightly bemused by the ‘boat’ and its positioning. From one of the photos I imagined sitting watching TV and being unable to relax due to it looking as if the boat was heading for me 😆

Im more concerned about how close the sofa is to the mahoosive tv than any of the decor! 🤣

It's definitely within the range where my mum would have told me off for sitting that close!

For once, 'truly unique' in an estate agent description isn't an exaggeration.....

Not my thing (shudder). Apart from the Giraffe.

Lisavanderpumpsdog I haven't seen or heard "gopping" used for years, thanks for the reminder.

How close is the sofa to that massive TV?

It's truly hideous. I think I'd need a sedative to live there.

I couldn’t stop smiling looking at this - and not in a sneery way either. It’s the most joyfully outlandish and batshit do-over of a bungalow I’ve ever seen, and whilst they might have a bit of trouble finding someone prepared to drop the thick end of 2 mill on it, it looks like a spectacularly fun place to live and they’ve obviously had a great time doing it up, so fair play to them!

I have never seen a house that big with only three bedrooms. Weird but maybe that's just me.

I hate the exterior. The interior though - some bits I quite like. At least it's not a sea of bland grey.