I have no words. £1.6 million Brentwood, Essex

[Another2Cats]

Just as the title, I really do have no words to quite capture how I feel about this property.

However, I do admire that whoever currently owns it went full-in on following their own aesthetic.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/170432882#/?channel=RES_BUY

That pool/tub thing is quite extraordinary
Very creative though.

Only 3 bedrooms? Perhaps they don't need more.

I do kind of love it - I mean, it's not to my taste at all and I couldn't live there permanently, but it's fun and I love the hot tubs & fake beach bit.

I'd love a long weekend there. They should put it on AirBNB, it would be fully booked.

Great if you love watching TV with your nose touching the screen!

This. Not my taste but my teens would be in heaven

Some of the rooms are quite nice , most are hideous , likewise the garden.
I wouldn't live there .

Blimey. I mean it’s bonkers but the pool is a lot of structure for not much pool and the tv is unbelievably close to the sofas.

It would be paradise for sporty kids. Or indeed adults!

From the first aerial photo I thought it looked a bit like a small primary school 😄

Why prison chic? More like drug dealer chic, I think.
I quite like the gold office, but not the sign saying 'handsome devil'. The boat pool is weird but I like it. The sitting rooms seem a bit narrow and I can't stand kitchens in the living room (tho' I realise this is one of 3 seating areas afaics).
Someone had fun.

Only three bedrooms, no separate sitting room or anywhere you could put some bookshelves up, having to run across the garden in the rain to get to and from the home office, etc etc. You’d have to live exactly the same lifestyle as the owners to make the house suitable, so even if you strip out all the horrendous decor, it’s going to narrow the potential market down considerably.

Sorry for being ruthlessly practical! I could spend that money on a lot of very beautiful and much more liveable houses where I am. But I am also, quite justifiably, allowing my considerable prejudices and aesthetics as a buildings historian to colour my view 😁

That is quite something! I agree it would make a great air bnb - too be honest there is some of it that I don't mind at all and the pool is brilliant. The office on the otherhand is migraine inducing!

For me though the worst bit is the tarmac'ed drive!!

I think it makes a change from the white/grey/beige look that’s everywhere. They clearly know what they like and are not scared of colours or patterns and it might not be to everyone’s taste but at least it has a bit of personality. I’d love to know who owns it, they seem like they know how to have fun and I bet they throw a good party.

I like the sauna and the utility room, and the crazy boat design. But OMG the danger of giving your interior designer an unlimited budget!

Let's be real that house and interior decor was not paid for with taxed and earned income 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The boat pool design is incredible vision though. I am simultaneously repelled and attracted...

Youd make £££££ with it as a TOWIE air bnb

The bedrooms seem quite small given the asking price?

I like it a lot more than the depressing grey boxes I see all over rightmove. It'd be fun to live there.

https://www.sudburymercury.co.uk/news/22812800.two-men-charged-cable-thefts-across-suffolk/
Wonder if it belongs to this family 😆

All that space, money and ability to put anything in the plot and it still looks like a nursery school in the overhead shots?

Two tiny bedrooms and one large plus one single living space for the entire family - that's the entire house?

And not so much as a garage for your cars? Mental.

That said, I absolutely adore the spa / pool area.

I could watch those televisions without my specs the sofas are so close!
I’m -10 so very shortsighted!

With taste like that must be related to Trump.

It reminds me, on the outside at least from the first aerial shot, of the pavilion in the local park.

It's just very, very Essex.

I love the giraffes
That's all

Omg I can't not look at it!

I can tell you who'd love it - my teenage sons!
And I'll be popping over to use the weird pool.