I have no words. £1.6 million Brentwood, Essex

[Another2Cats]

Just as the title, I really do have no words to quite capture how I feel about this property.

However, I do admire that whoever currently owns it went full-in on following their own aesthetic.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/170432882#/?channel=RES_BUY

I was thinking our plot is bigger than this and has a sea view! I cant imagine this all fitting in and it not feeling cramped in reality. Theres some photography going on here!

For 1.6 million I’d want bigger rooms!

I think that's AI generated or at least is garish enough that it looks it.

It's a shower. There's a loo in there too. But there isn't a loo in the ensuite shower. 🤷‍♀️

It is a bit messy. The stone thing is awful, but the kitchen is nice.

YES! It's a real life Sims house and you 100% can't knock someone who has designed their own Sims house.

I fucking hate it and love it at the same time . Marmite house

Oh wow! I thought the boat-pool was the best bit and then I saw the animals... Totally tacky but so fun.My tweens would be in their element. I could live there!

Mmm, long haired french bulldogs and previously bred other bull breeds... yep, I think I was off on the wrong tangent there, I think you've nailed it.

Whats the betting they also run a doggy fertility clinic - loads of dosh in that and generally not thoroughly legal either.

I’ve just looked at his Instagram and I don’t know who him or his wife are? Are they supposed to be famous?

They match the house! (And that’s not meant bitchily - I bet they’re a lot of fun)

I agree

I bet Tona throws a great party!

I love it. No worries whatsoever about being in fashion, understated or classy, just whatever the owners like. Fabulous. I want the Barbie picture.

It looks like it's been designed by a 10 year old on Minecraft. Really odd room shapes too, imagine sitting that close to that massive TV in that narrow room.
Just shows that money can't buy good taste.

The tv room is odd. A huge tv and the seating they have is up close like that.

I love it so much!!

If I had that sort of money I would live somewhere cheaper and have more space though, it doesn’t look that big.

I love the very bones of it. It's my dream house!

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HAVE GOOD TASTE!!!

I think the actual saying is: "Money makes you scream with laughter, wealth bores you to tears." 🤣

I wouldn't want to live in it but its actually pretty impressive in a tacky way, certainly full of character. I'd probably happily stay for a weekend and then retreat home traumatised.

I think we are all now trained to neutral styles but obviously the owners are real individuals who are loud and proud and a big part of me admires that self confidence to be who they are.

How do you make enough money just from dog-breeding to have a home like that though!

It's a shower (I had to read the description)

I’m slightly terrified by how much having kids is affecting my brain because I’m looking at it all and thinking how good it would be for them. Not thinking that I don’t really like a lot of it!

But what a lot of fun. It just looks like somewhere that someone has done exactly what they want and I hope they’ve enjoyed it.

Also the utility with loo and double shower is in the same outbuilding as the bar… presumably they have staff to schlep their dirty washing over there?

If I win the lottery I’m totally going to copy their boat pool area! I think it’s bloody brilliant!

Please tell them there is a queue!!