I have no words. £1.6 million Brentwood, Essex

[Another2Cats]

Just as the title, I really do have no words to quite capture how I feel about this property.

However, I do admire that whoever currently owns it went full-in on following their own aesthetic.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/170432882#/?channel=RES_BUY

That's unfair. It's by no means Britain's tackiest home. I still remember that beautiful period home with a giant stiletto in one of the rooms, for instance. It ended up on RM's 'most viewed homes of 2025.'

I was wondering where on earth they source all their stuff from. That explains it.

It's like a cross between Del Boy's house and that time in Friends when Joey furnished his own place after moving out of Chandler's.

I can't imagine having to sit that close to such a massive TV. It'd be like sitting on the front row in the cinema.

At least they've done it out how they want it though. I'd love to see what the owners do to their next house!

This is the type of decor my DP thinks I would have if I won Euromillions 😆
.....he's not far wrong on some of it. I find this house strangely alluring 😳
My garden would look a lot like that as I love big animal statues and some of the decor is actually quite nice but it's all it a bit too much maximalist for me - but I do love those big animals 😂

The MASSIVE tv in the tiny room. I get a headache thinking how close you’d be to the massive screen.

It’s like living in a bag of pick ‘n’ mix 😵‍💫😵‍💫
The kitchen island faux stone cladding 🤢🤯

I think you've just found the next unsellable Omaze house, OP!

That's the (only) bit I like, although I don't understand what 'goat' refers to?

I think that’s the bar in the outhouse

Must be a pro sportsperson's gaff. Footballer or maybe jockey? I've got serious gym envy!

I would buy that in a heartbeat if i had the money. Love it

Sauna?

The swimspa shaped like a boat 😂

How close do they sit to their TVs! They're virtually on top of them.

Some rooms are nice. Some are hideous. They obviously like ships and animals.

Ah, just saw the@OriginalSkang- I was scared to Google it in case it was something horrible!

I love the French Bulldog picture, the giraffe and various garden animals - the Barbie picture could also be fun on a non patterned wall. I also think the boat jacuzzi is great but I am less keen on the fake water - I could fee different if I saw it in person. I don't like the patterned wallpapers they chose or the sky painted on the ceiling simply because it could make rooms a bit smaller and has a bit too much going on.

I love that they put their own mark on the place and made it their own. I would happily accept the house though ;) Just knock a few walls to open up some of the smaller spaces and get striping wallpaper, I'd probably buy a few flamingo and monkey lamps too!!

That is who I would like to be if I was not an introvert riddled with social anxieties!

I've realised as i've been renovating my house that I am much more common than I realised (hello new silver grey carpet).

I quite like the gold bathroom 😳

I think most of the decor is pretty neutral and what isn't i mostly like, but the outside is terrible, and the floor plan atrocious! Only one reception room and the kitchen is in it? No.

Giraffe, zebra, elephant, gorilla, panda & parrot definitely love animals lol

"Handsome Devil's Club" Pic 11

Bloody priceless.

In all fairness though - if you take out all the ginormous Giraffe's, gorillas and weird women with dogs heads....... etc its probably a decent house.

Am I the only one thinking it's not that bad?

Apart from the boat
The goat 😂
And the animals

Remove those and it looks like a lot of places these days doesn't it? I don't know. I've given up looking at houses on right move. I used to do it a lot but I can vanish for hours on there so that's bad - especially added to all my MN hours 😂

This looks like a house created in the Sims so you don't have to put up with the loading screens and dump everything on one lot.

Fun, but I couldn't live there.

G.O.A.T = Greatest Of All Time

Who ever owns this house has quite a high opinion of themselves ;)

Isn’t that Joey Essex’s house?