Was told I was infertile, now pregnant in daft circumstances

[ForFlipsSakes]

I am trying to get my head around it because I genuinely am in shock. I DID have unprotected sex (with a male friend of years who I have an arrangement with, don’t use the pill as I was told I am infertile but we both had STD screening before ditching condoms and are on the same page that if we sleep with anybody else we will inform the other and resume protected sex, but we are pretty much in an exclusive sexual arrangement so no lectures please). I know many will roll their eyes and stop reading after seeing ‘unprotected sex’ but:

1. I have stage 4 endometriosis all over my uterus and ovaries and was told I’d likely need IVF and a repeated surgery to have the endo out to ever conceive

1. I was on day 8 of my cycle, still having periodish discharge, my cycle is usually 30+ days.

1. He didn’t finish. There’s no question of this, we were only going for about a minute and he usally lasts half an hour. We had to stop due to pain I was having. He has always had um…leakage though before so I assume it was just a particularly athletic swimmer going after a head start.

We hadn’t had any other occasions of sex for 3 months prior, so it definitely happened on that one occasion. The father knows and we are both okay with it and keeping the baby. He knows that due to my endo my potential infertility has been a fear of mine so he understands my need to have the baby and is supportive. He is also divorced with an older child who he is a good father to. We are now considering a relationship. The reason we aren’t already at that stage is because his ex-wife has had a string of disastrous relationships since the divorce and fails to prioritise their child, so he prefers to be single and focus all of his affections and energy onto his daughter. But obviously the baby now changes things and he is considering whether a relationship with me and potential blending down the line is more beneficial to everybody involved. As I am his friend of 15 years (nothing happened until his marriage ended, before somebody jumps on me.) I have met and looked after the child on many occasions.

So I’m not so much seeking advice on him and keeping the baby, more just curious about other people’s experiences of falling pregnant when really, it shouldn’t have happened. I have 2 close friends who I told, and they both rolled their eyes and implied “Ah yes, of COURSE he didn’t finish.” sarcastically. Then another one said that her sister fell pregnant on her period twice despite having long cycles normally and she reckons that sometimes sex can trigger spontaneous ovulation which sounds like a load of rubbish to me. I suppose I want to hear other stories so it feels less like a practical joke that a higher being has played on me.

Nobody has a right to judge you anyway.
Things are sometimes meant to be and if you’re happy, then other people’s opinions don’t matter. Congratulations!

Friend of my sister in laws went through IVF because her partner had cancer and was told the chemo had pretty much given them no chance of conceiving naturally. They had twins and then about 2 years later she falls pregnant the old fashioned way.

Yes, a few of people I know
IVF x2 didn't work so had a break, used condoms to take the pressure off and got pregnant when one split
Pregnant during heavy period
Pregnancy from withdrawal or no penetration not that uncommon
Congratulations OP

I was told after my first child, conceived with fertility treatment that I couldn't have any more children (I'm a DV survivor)
I had a 6 year relationship, never fell pregnant so was pretty sure doctors were right. Anyway that relationship broke down and a year later I met a guy and started dating.
It was a month before anything physical happened between us and it didn't occur to me to use protection because we were both std free and I couldn't have kids right? I fell pregnant that first time and it took 4 positive tests for me to believe it.
There is a decade between my children, my suprise baby is almost 7......... Haven't fallen pregnant again despite my eldest constantly asking for another sibling

Congratulations!
I have numerous gynae issues and ended up pregnant very unexpectedly. Best thing that’s ever happened to me. Not easy but we make it work.
Enjoy it! It will have happened for a reason

Congratulations! Sounds like it was meant to be. 💐

Wowwwww congrats, don't know if this the same but here goes, 2020 "the horrible lockdown" anxiety and depression at its height drinking, bbqing, in the excess wiv the designated other household. Periods were a no show, just put down to starting the menopause and the stress of lockdown. Anyway decided to do pregnancy test, (don't know why tbh) (just a feeling) low and behold it was positive. Shocked, and gobsmacked as you can imagine. Was adamant I wasn't keeping it. (Will get to why) cudnt get see doc had to see community midwife booked in for dating scan coz I really had no idea when I had my last period. 2 days later scan appointment, here goes. Nearly fell off the bed, when she told me I was 23 weeks and 6days and having a boy. Time to tell father, (interesting part). Father is my ex-partner and we have been split up for 19+years but do share 2 children together a daughter (24 at the time) and a son (20 at the time). As you can imagine this revelation did not go down well with the 2 adult children. Fast forward to present day, we are together and co-parenting our newbie, but he wants to put a label on our situation. Which I'm not ready to do, and say to him the way we are is fine let's just keep it how it is. As regards to ur situation I'd say stay as you are, as long as u both there for the baby and co-parent together there will be no issues. Things get complicated when they have a label attached.
I became pregnant at 44, (that is why I was reluctant).

Congratulations 🎉 Just rejoice in this wee miracle and see how everything goes

I'm a strong believer that things happen for a reason, so me having a baby at 45 was ment to be. My boy has saved my life, and I am blessed every day.

8 years married, no precautiobs, trying but not desperate for a baby, got pregnant, again 4 years later, decided 2 were enough so got my rubes tied. Congratulations.

This is wonderful news.

i wouldn’t worry about the circumstances and the ifs and buts!

you both seem to get along so just go for it and enjoy your pregnant and new baby!

I was told I would never have kids, my first came after four years of no contraception. Tried for the second one and it took two months, third was a happy accident.

husband is being snipped.

I was told I'd need help to have children as I didn't ovulate , found out I was pregnant at 24 weeks had my first born and my second 2 years later .. 30'years later have never used birth control and I've never fallen pregnant again.. I was just meant to have my two

Doesn’t sound like ‘silly’ circumstances tbh it wasn’t a one night stand. He is happy you are happy to keep the baby and he already has experience of being a father and hasn’t run off!
as long as it isn’t going to be high risk with your endometriosis sounds like it’ll work out

Congratulations 🥳 sometimes what is meant to be just happens

I fell on my second ever time - at 14.

That baby was meant to be. I got pregnant using 3 methods of birth control. I was on the pill. My xDH also wore a spermicidal condom because I wasn't 100% sure on the pill. He was also meant to be.

Sometimes things a just meant to be. Congratulations, I hope any relationship you have with your friend with for you both and your children.

Congratulations. x

In the words of The Fly man, nature finds a way 😀 Delighted for you.

Stop overthinking and enjoy the news x

I met my current partner and we got pregnant 3 months into the relationship, despite us both not wanting children. It was an extremely tough decision, but now seeing my daughter, it was the best decision I have made. If he will support you, then that's great. Children are hard on any relationship, it might just mean you have to work a little harder on it, but it will all be fine. Congratulations and enjoy being pregnant :)

Hi, not quite the same. But my sister got told due to her polysistic overies, she would struggle to have kids.
2 kids later, she was happy with 2 girls. No help needed, then she was told the mini pill was best for her due to her overies. The bam, she is pregnant with number 3.
She was mortified, to be told the mini pill is only 70 % of something at protecting against pregnancy. She was, I cannot remember them telling me that, because she was sure if they had, she wouldn't have used them and gone for something else. She has a lovely boy.
But when he was about 6 months old, her then husband, decided to cheat on her and leave her with 3 kids under 3.. Then saying he didn't really like kids... He didn't think to mention that, in the 11 plus years, they were together before the kids came along.
Good luck with your pregnancy. Xx crazy stuff can happen.

Wow. This doesn’t sound like a daft situation at all’s it sounds like an absolute blessing. Congratulations 💕

What a gift! So lovely. Enjoy xxx

Congratulations! As you’re friends that will give you guys such a solid base! Best of luck!

After battling with infertility for years and having endometriosis I was told that I would never be able to have children even with IVF. 3 months later I found out I was pregnant! It does happen. We adore our daughter and totally feel she was meant to be as she beat all the odds and I am sure it's the same for your little one. Congratulations!