Was told I was infertile, now pregnant in daft circumstances

[ForFlipsSakes]

I am trying to get my head around it because I genuinely am in shock. I DID have unprotected sex (with a male friend of years who I have an arrangement with, don’t use the pill as I was told I am infertile but we both had STD screening before ditching condoms and are on the same page that if we sleep with anybody else we will inform the other and resume protected sex, but we are pretty much in an exclusive sexual arrangement so no lectures please). I know many will roll their eyes and stop reading after seeing ‘unprotected sex’ but:

1. I have stage 4 endometriosis all over my uterus and ovaries and was told I’d likely need IVF and a repeated surgery to have the endo out to ever conceive

1. I was on day 8 of my cycle, still having periodish discharge, my cycle is usually 30+ days.

1. He didn’t finish. There’s no question of this, we were only going for about a minute and he usally lasts half an hour. We had to stop due to pain I was having. He has always had um…leakage though before so I assume it was just a particularly athletic swimmer going after a head start.

We hadn’t had any other occasions of sex for 3 months prior, so it definitely happened on that one occasion. The father knows and we are both okay with it and keeping the baby. He knows that due to my endo my potential infertility has been a fear of mine so he understands my need to have the baby and is supportive. He is also divorced with an older child who he is a good father to. We are now considering a relationship. The reason we aren’t already at that stage is because his ex-wife has had a string of disastrous relationships since the divorce and fails to prioritise their child, so he prefers to be single and focus all of his affections and energy onto his daughter. But obviously the baby now changes things and he is considering whether a relationship with me and potential blending down the line is more beneficial to everybody involved. As I am his friend of 15 years (nothing happened until his marriage ended, before somebody jumps on me.) I have met and looked after the child on many occasions.

So I’m not so much seeking advice on him and keeping the baby, more just curious about other people’s experiences of falling pregnant when really, it shouldn’t have happened. I have 2 close friends who I told, and they both rolled their eyes and implied “Ah yes, of COURSE he didn’t finish.” sarcastically. Then another one said that her sister fell pregnant on her period twice despite having long cycles normally and she reckons that sometimes sex can trigger spontaneous ovulation which sounds like a load of rubbish to me. I suppose I want to hear other stories so it feels less like a practical joke that a higher being has played on me.

Congratulations! I was 46, had had three miscarriages in two years, and DH's sperm didn't do well in their swimming exam. It all seemed pretty unlikely. DS is now 13.

Congrats
Off the top of my head i know 3 people who thought they were infertile and had a baby. I think doctors sometimes say this to set expectations that it might not happen, i do think they should be clearer that it still might

Congratulations!

I very stupidly fell for the not being able to get pregnant while breastfeeding myth (I know, I know. I was young and dumb). We had only just started having sex again after the birth. Two babies in a year was hard!

I was thinking "such a cool story to tell the kid" and then I thought that a kid doesn't really need to know that their dad didn't finish in their mum 🙃

Whatever, congratulations OP!

huge Congratulations- my son was conceived when I was in the pill. Never able to have any more despite trying everything

@theDudesmummy.

I’m in hysterics at the thought of the sperm at their swimming exam 😂

Congratulations! Nobody needs to know the details of your shag so it really shouldn't come up!

It sounds like a decent situation to raise a baby, I wouldn't push to start a relationship just because there's a baby but that may be my own bad experience talking.

Congrats!

similar thing happened to a friend of mine. Infertility isn’t the same thing as being sterile and there’s always a possibly of pregnancy with unprotected sex. So if someone is infertile but doesn’t want to fall pregnant, contraceptives are still necessary.

Ah yes, university friend was told at age of 18 she'd probably never get pregnant. Had many years of unprotected sex with fiance/husband (and more than a few drunken slips ups whilst at university as well, she was by her own account a 'fun' girl).

She and husband had accepted they'd not have kids and in their late thirties planned a massive year long round the world trip, resigned from job/got a sabbatical, rented out the house, sold the car. First country they got to she felt very unwell. Went to a doctor who insisted she take the test before they do anything else, despite her trying to explain via a Lonely Planet Phrase Book and lots of miming, how 'impossible' it was that she could be pregnant. Three tests later she was finally convinced. I think her husband didn't really believe it until the bump started to show......

Safe to say the trip ended earlier than planned and little miss "World Trip Bugger Up" has now graduated uni herself.

Congrats OP!

Just wanted to throw my congratulations in too! Clearly a fighter from both sides, right from the beginning!!

My best friend was told to consider IVF or adoption because they had 0 chances of ever getting pregnant. She was already pregnant that day and didn’t know it yet.

Congratulations!

I conceived both of mine naturally having been told by an infertility specialist that I would definitely need ivf. Fortunately a better specialist thought I might have a chance - and he was right.
Congratulations

One of my oldest and dearest friends who I have known since I was 12 and who I had gone through all the usual teenage stuff with - boyfriends, sneaking out etc etc etc.

She had 2 DC. Her and her Dh were definitely considering a 3rd, but at the time he was travelling loads for work, the DC were still very young and to top it off, her sister was battling infertility. They decided to wait a year or so.

He was back from work for one night. They had unprotected sex because she was on a day 3 or something and thought it was so unlikely. She might even have still been breastfeeding. I forget.

Her comment to me? "You know NotLactoseFree, our mums were right.... it only takes ONE TIME."

Congratulations!

After I had my diagnosis of infertility there were many occasions of unprotected sex with this particular man where he did finish and nothing lol. And years ago when I was in uni being an idiot as well, probably during my fertile days as I was um…busy… during uni.

Why didn’t I get pregnant from one of those occasions? But instead this one? Where he didn’t finish and I was practically still on my period?

God, life is funny isn’t it? Not my story to tell but I remember him mentioning years ago that his older DD was conceived when her mum was on contraception. Not as crazy as my story but still.

I fell when we were using the rhythm method (natural cycles) and he always pulled out.

Sorry pressed send before I meant to! It's quite common I think - pulling out is not good contraception! Lol. My other pregnancy was when the morning after pill didn't work. Both happy pregnancies and wouldn't have it any other way. Congratulations!x

Nothing to contribute but congratulations! In the words of the mighty philosopher Jeff Goldblum 'life finds a way'!

Congratulations op

So his DD was also a bit of a miracle baby?! Blimey - get that man signed up for medical experiments - that is super sperm indeed (or perhaps at least two bits of exceedingly determined sperm at least!)

Congratulations OP! This has brightened my Wednesday no end!

@WireSkills

They are edgy sperm though. They can only be bothered fertilising an egg in circumstances where they wouldn’t be expected to. How rebellious.

Anyone who judges you, it's their problem not yours.

Congratulations! Such a lovely surprise.

We had icsi to conceive our first and were told again in January of this year, we'd need it again for a sibling (male factor). We got pregnant naturally in May and I'm 23 weeks pregnant today.

My second youngest was conceived while I was on the pill. Convinced myself I just have made a mistake with it or missed that I had an upset stomach or the likes to make it not work.

Got a coil as that way I couldn’t forget to take it.

It was apparently perfectly in place when my youngest was conceived.

Congratulations- don’t give a hoot what anyone judgemental thinks.

Congratulations, the world does indeed work in mysterious ways. Do you want to say how old you are and how far along you are?

I too was told I would need IVF to conceive, I also have endo had been on all the meds, including chemical menopause and I wasn't even 30. I had just had surgery, gynae said something like grim prognosis for child bearing. My endo was described as aggressive. He advised us to start trying so we could start IVF in a year but basically said it would be hopeless. I conceived in the first month. We describe Ds1 as our miracle. I then went on to have Ds2 3 years later.

I won't sugar coat it, pregnancy was at times painful due to all the scar tissue not wanting to stretch. Not unbearable pain but sharp at times but I had lots of wedge pillows etc to help get comfy. Just wanted you to be prepared, I wasn't. Worried myself sick with it at first. My two are now teens. It has been the best thing I ever did.

Sounds like it was meant to be!
Congratulations 💐

I was also told (at 18!) That I couldn't have kids, that I'd never carry to term even if I managed to get pregnant. (cystic ovaries and cervix) DS is now 10. 🤣