Was told I was infertile, now pregnant in daft circumstances

[ForFlipsSakes]

I am trying to get my head around it because I genuinely am in shock. I DID have unprotected sex (with a male friend of years who I have an arrangement with, don’t use the pill as I was told I am infertile but we both had STD screening before ditching condoms and are on the same page that if we sleep with anybody else we will inform the other and resume protected sex, but we are pretty much in an exclusive sexual arrangement so no lectures please). I know many will roll their eyes and stop reading after seeing ‘unprotected sex’ but:

1. I have stage 4 endometriosis all over my uterus and ovaries and was told I’d likely need IVF and a repeated surgery to have the endo out to ever conceive

1. I was on day 8 of my cycle, still having periodish discharge, my cycle is usually 30+ days.

1. He didn’t finish. There’s no question of this, we were only going for about a minute and he usally lasts half an hour. We had to stop due to pain I was having. He has always had um…leakage though before so I assume it was just a particularly athletic swimmer going after a head start.

We hadn’t had any other occasions of sex for 3 months prior, so it definitely happened on that one occasion. The father knows and we are both okay with it and keeping the baby. He knows that due to my endo my potential infertility has been a fear of mine so he understands my need to have the baby and is supportive. He is also divorced with an older child who he is a good father to. We are now considering a relationship. The reason we aren’t already at that stage is because his ex-wife has had a string of disastrous relationships since the divorce and fails to prioritise their child, so he prefers to be single and focus all of his affections and energy onto his daughter. But obviously the baby now changes things and he is considering whether a relationship with me and potential blending down the line is more beneficial to everybody involved. As I am his friend of 15 years (nothing happened until his marriage ended, before somebody jumps on me.) I have met and looked after the child on many occasions.

So I’m not so much seeking advice on him and keeping the baby, more just curious about other people’s experiences of falling pregnant when really, it shouldn’t have happened. I have 2 close friends who I told, and they both rolled their eyes and implied “Ah yes, of COURSE he didn’t finish.” sarcastically. Then another one said that her sister fell pregnant on her period twice despite having long cycles normally and she reckons that sometimes sex can trigger spontaneous ovulation which sounds like a load of rubbish to me. I suppose I want to hear other stories so it feels less like a practical joke that a higher being has played on me.

Oh I love this story!!
Absolutely zero judgement here, but it does sound like a real fairytale ending that you’re going to have a relationship and family with a good friend, and your stepdaughter gets to have her daddy’s friend as a stepmummy 🥰

My three nieces are absolute miracles. My sister needed pelvic surgery in her teens and knew then that she would probably need IVF. When she got married, was referred for tests that confirmed she would be eligible for IVF when ready, and was told there was no need for contraception in the meantime. Eldest conceived shortly after I believe.

Infertility is a strange one isn't it? Congratulations to you, your friend/partner/the father sounds like a good one.
I was on an adoption course when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child. We were gobsmacked, as we'd stopped trying about a year before the course.

I had one child already, but had struggled to conceive before child 1 and had been told officially that I would likely need IVF to get pregnant. I had had two miscarriages and couldn't face the thought of having to deal with anymore. Anyway, as John Lennon said, life it what happens when you're busy making other plans 😀 Best of health to you and the baby.

Fingers crossed it's sticky

I fell pregnant on cycle day 8 using the withdrawal method with my casual boyfriend
Dd is 20 and an absolute dream. Casual boyfriend is now my long term partner and we have 2 other kids :)
Congratulations!

Not exactly the same, but DD1 is a 'pulled out early and finish in towel' conception. Pre-ejaculation sperm is a thing. Sounds like he has strong swimmers. Congratulations!

You mention he he he a lot though.his feelings on thing’s regarding your relationship.do you want to be with him?
but this is such great news.I’m beyond happy for you.infertility when you want a child can feel like a grief every day.so yay for you!
don’t over think the whys or how.theees no point.you will never get the answer in this case.noone can possibly tell you.

Friend of mine was told she would need IVF to conceive after having to have both of her tubes removed, along with one of her ovaries and half of the other one (and the half that was left was only left to stop her going through premature menopause). After several failed rounds of IVF assumed it was never going to happen. Was pg about 6 months after finally deciding to give up on IVF - daughter is now 6.

I had some tests carried out in my early 30’s that said I was in early menopause and would likely need donor eggs to conceive. Mid 30’s and on a Night out with some old uni mates on a weekend away and one thing led to another, split condom but I had an implant so wasn’t overly concerned…mainly worried about potential STD’s. When I got home my friend reminded me I’d been taking herbal anti-depressants n this might impact my implant, decided to MAP just in case. Really didn’t think about it again, booked into the GUM clinic to get checked over and as precaution they run a pregnancy test….yup!!!

My determined little egg is now 5 and still has that determination in attitude!!!

All of the precautions in the world and people still question how I went to trap a man by getting pregnant, it’s really hard to hear sometimes but ultimately she’s the best thing that ever happened to me no matter how she got here. I’m sure yours will be to, congratulations

Yep, was told that as I had PCOS I wouldn't be able to conceive without assistance. After a particularly good holiday I was pregnant, several years later after, yes, a particularly good holiday, I was pregnant . They are both adults now.

Oh yeah, I had a similar thing. Was told I was infertile when my eldest DD was 5. My hubby and I didn't bother with any treatment or IVF. So we quite happily had unprotected sex for years after.
My eldest DD was 20 when my youngest DD was born. I was positive I had stomach flu and was just gaining weight until I felt a kick, at about 25 weeks. My periods were always sporadic and often absent for months at a time, so not even a cycle to hint. She was such a welcome surprise 🤗

Just enjoy it, OP.

it all sounds like you’re both being very mature and measured about it.

Enjoy it.

Yeah, nah, didn't happen.

Congratulations!

I had 5 cycles with clomid, 3 IUI, then 3 IVF - all failed, along with my marriage (for the best, turned out he managed to get someone else pregnant during that last IVF cycle it just wasn’t me…)

3 months later, met a lovely ‘friend’ and we had a jolly nice time. I rebelled and moved into a ridiculous apartment and got a ridiculous sports car. He had been married and been told he was infertile. That ended his marriage, ironically.

we made a pact. If we were still together a year later, we would have one go at IVF together.

4 DAYS later I found out I was pregnant with DC1. 3 years after we got married! Said we’d never be lucky enough for it to happen twice. We’d give it a go. That cycle I fell pregnant with DC2. And we are together, and very happy still, 14 years later.

and was told I’d likely need IVF and a repeated surgery to have the endo out to ever conceive

Important to say: this is NOT an "infertility diagnosis" at all. It is a heads-up that you may have trouble conceiving, but in reality many women with the same condition will conceive without assistance. You should have been advised to use contraception if not trying to become pregnant.

Friend was told the same you'll need ivf to get pregnant, and there's still no guarantee.
She now has a very unexpected child.

Other friend had 1 fallopian tube removed after ectopic pregnancy....told very very low chance of getting pregnant....she had 4 children all conceived naturally with her 1 tube.

Friend married for 15 years never got pregnant...had tests no issues found.
Bam....pregnant at 43.

Sometime nature just does its thing.
Congratulations OP.

Unprotected sex for 10 years with DP, one miscarriage, one surgery for endo, one failed round IVF, advised would need egg donor to conceive. Age 38, I gave up on the idea of having children and made peace with it. Moved house and job. 6 months later I was convinced I was peri, took a test to 'rule out' pregnancy and got BFP. I'm now feeding my 9 month old DS.

It was mind boggling to get our heads around but really is so wonderful. Congratulations!

I know someone on mini pill, using a condom which had split and they were aware so she took the morning after pill and 9mths later had her son.

This made me chuckle xx

Op, one of my child was born from pre-ejaculation fluid!!
I did soooo much googling at the time!! Couldn't believe I fell pregnant as we always used protection. All I got from google was, there could be remains of sperm from a previous ejaculation contained in the pre-fluid, but it would basically be dead so wouldn't cause a pregnancy, obviously not true.
I think sometimes we can plan and plan but what is meant to be will always happen no matter the precautions we take.

Have you lost your mind? Are you actually suggesting that women who have miscarriages are somehow at fault? That they didn’t focus enough on keeping the baby? That they didn’t watch their hormone levels enough and take a prescription to prevent a miscarriage? Fucking hell.

You might have meant well but your post is ignorant and awful.

Some things are meant to be 🤷‍♀️ I had endo and got pregnant surprisingly easily. The child is almost 18 now and just super. Congratulations and good luck, sounds like you are both sensible and will find a way x

I love this story. It’s not over-sharing, it’s sharing. Congratulations x

I fell pregnant on the last day of a 3-day period, on a 28-day cycle, and he didn’t ejaculate inside me. I don’t have the same fertility problems as you, but still. It made me reassess the sanity of anyone doing rhythm method as their main contraception method.

It’s a blessing for you. But. Just as staying together for the kids isn’t a great idea, getting together for them doesn’t sound perfect either. Take things slowly and don’t let your hormones lead you…

Such amazing news though. A joy.

Won't go into huge detail but my 5 year old was conceived in similar circumstances. Doctors told me I couldn't get pregnant (such a low percentage) at the time and I told my fiance that because they've said I can't get pregnant I was coming off the pill because it was making me gain weight. A few months later I wasn't feeling myself so took a test and low and behold I was pregnant.