Facebook status updates you wish you could write. XXXX...

[Tigresswoods]

Following the success of this thread in "Conception" I thought I would share its cathartic qualities here in "Pregnancy" too.

I'll give you a starter for ten:

Tigress has no symptoms at 6 weeks except for exceptionally sore nipples

See, you can't write THAT on Facebook!

Thandeka's ridiculous early pregnancy sign is "fizzy nipples!"

Thandeka is signed off from work because she is 9weeks pregnant but had a threatened miscarriage suspected ectopic following MMC at 10 weeks immediately before this pregnancy (no period in between). So NO she isnt skiving! So fuck off ignorant work colleagues checking my real facebook for clues as to my absence!

Thandeka loves this thread on both conception and here- hurrah for its cathartic qualities indeed Tigress.

Aw, thandeka, you go girl. I've been where you are and I know how much is kills to constantly have colleagues wondering. I hope this one is a sticker.

I would like to add to my facebook status..

"Hangingbellyofbabylon is 29 weeks pregnant and this morning pissed herself when sneezing. I can't find any pants that will stay up which means going commando. The sneeze wasn't good"

Thandeka is laughing out loud at Hangingbelly and hopes to eventually to get to stage where she literally pisses herself laughing at such hilarity!

(because of pregnancy reasons not general incontinence reasons obviously!)

I would like to tell everyone that I am pregnant! We've only told close friends and family at the moment and keeping the secret is driving me mad!!

congrat Angela! and thandeka, believe me the lack of bladder control will creep up on you I'm sure

blinder actually doesn't mind getting kicked in the fanjo (from the inside)

Tigress is waiting expectantly to get boobs. Well I have waited since I was about 12, this is very exciting!

ummadam feels rubbish, is totally fed up with planning family events that she has no control over, wishes certain people hadn't picked 2 days after her scan for 'the big day' since it means she can't tell anyone even then (or risk overshadowing the family member's event) and would like to tell all of them to piss off and let her feel crap in peace so she could stop putting on a brave face incase they guess she is pregnant!

(although she does know it's not their fault if they don't know )

Baisey thought now that she is pregnant she would have a brief respite from buying sanitary towels, but because of crappy pelvic floor muscles I have to put one on before going through my lovely bout of morning sickness everyday. Puking and peeing, who knew it was such fun?!

Thandeka just vomited out of her nose and it burns- how it burns!

dophus should should face facts, purchase pregnancy test, stop smoking and tell husband

Joy27 smells of sick. You have been warned.

Dophus has just been sick

JemL is constipated and suffering recurring dreams of leaving new baby on bus.

pyjama babe is wondering if a BFP while waiting to start clomid is the universe's idea of a collosal joke as she has NO symptoms whatsoever apart from no AF since April 15th.

should actually post that on FB as i'd love to know if any of my pregnant-first-time-without-trying friends would have a bloody clue what any of that actually means???

'Mrswee is wondering when if ever her friends are going to for-go the pub/party/hangover/thing that is more fun than spending time with your pregnant friend and give her some support'

oh and

'mrswee is still wondering why she isn't invited to the wedding tonight that ALL her friends are going too (even though she was invited to the hen night) and it makes her feel sad lonley and like a usless pregnant whale thanks very much'

can you tell what today's mood is?

"Pinkypanther still can't believe there was a line and feels like a fraud because she has no pregnancy symptoms"

"Pinkypanther is worried she is carrying Clomid twins because DH will go mad"

"Pinkpanther is counting the hours till her early scan on 10 July 2009"

All those could be me today. Great thread Tigresswoods.

Congrats to all of you!

GuernseyFrench has had a cool morning staring at the loo while being sick!

GF has already been told about ginger biscuits. Thanks! (and no I don't eat them as they make me piuck!

In the last week I have grown a whole new person with a heartbeat, I am allowed to be tired (well nearly a whole person, and I have pics to prove it)!!!! - directed more to the person who told me I couldn't be tired because I'm only 7 weeks, grrrr.

now swears by tena lady and does not appreciate everyone saying how huge she is already and cannot beleive that i still have 10weeks left..

...YES i am sure after 2 scans that there is only one baby in there...

.....to the guy at the curry house who thought he was v.funny by saying i had obviously eaten too much curry...HAHAHA you were not funny d*

....please don't take the piss by saying that i haven't gained weight anywhere else just my HUGE BUMP....i'm not blind i know i have please stop being 'polite' you'r just highlighting it for me

Sorry......a .ittle carried away there..made me feel heeps better though!!! lol
xxxxxxxxxx

Tigress is pleased that she started the thread for its cathartic purposes but having read these statuses now wonders if she can take it all back. Scared now!

Tigress is loving that her and DH have a little secret from the whole world (and the Dr and all the people on here!)

Thandeka wants to feel human again.

Thandeka has had MS for 5 weeks now and its starting to get her really down an DH isn't being very supportive (its sunday am and I NEEEEEEED greasy spag bol and he won't cook it for me- [tongue in cheek meanie emoticon!]

"Linspins is off to bed shortly after 8pm, as she could sleep for Britain"
It's too embarassing to admit in Real Life that bedtime needs to be before 9pm.....when everyone else is just heading off to the pub.

MamaG wishes folk would stop fucking whining on their status.

(real FB, not this thread!)

Tigress has worked out that she is now 6 weeks (today) and all of a sudden feels very tired and like doing no work at all. Coincidence I ask you?