Due September - Thread 5! 🐣❤️🧡💛

[Lillers]

New thread! Can’t believe we’re on 5 already.

I’ve been out of the “group loop” for ages, but so nice popping back in and seeing everyone’s good news! Seems the group is less boy-heavy now and we’re getting some girls adding to the balance 🎀 💝

Shamefully, I’ve had 2 private scans just to double-confirm that our NIPT gender results were correct. I still can’t get my head around having a girl after 2 boys. Just doesn’t seem possible 🥹🤣 I’m like noo, you must triple-check this

I had 16 week midwife today at 16+4..... All good and she listened to little girls heartbeat 🩷🎀

I have just ordered some magnesium gel for my restless legs to see if it helps at night it's getting unbearable and still another 24 weeks 😭 my next midwife appointment is at 25 weeks, she was very kind said normally for 2nd child 28 weeks would be next appointment but seen as it's my partner's first..... And I haven't been through this for 20 years she put us in for 25 weeks lol

Congratulations on the baby girl news 💗

This time in 2 weeks we would have had our 20 week scan and found out what we’re having. I always hate scans though forever worried something is going to be picked up on the 20 week scan. I never feel like I can relax. It still doesn’t feel real and like we’re just steps away from our beautiful baby bubble being burst. Wish I could get a handle of this anxiety.

I’ll be 15 weeks tomorrow, and pretty certain I’ve been feeling baby flutters on and off today. I’ve thought I might be able to feel it a few times before, but today it’s felt pretty clear. It seems early for a first baby, but my placenta is at the back so I guess it’s possible. My cat has also been insanely cuddly today - I think she can sense the baby.

@TripleESept24 Have you been taking cyclizine by any chance? Restless legs is one of the side effects - I got it badly when I started taking it, and got it even worse in my arms, and when I reduced the dose the symptoms pretty much disappeared. I know it’s a common pregnancy symptom anyway, but thought I’d mention it just in case!

No I haven't been taking cyclizine so think I'm just unlucky!

I'm 16 weeks 4 days and I can definitely feel flutters I explained it to my midwife today as I can feel her rolling over! X

@tierneytarny I have exactly what you described too. It's like something is physically blocking my bladder. I work in the NHS so I can do urinalysis at work which I've done a few times to check for a UTI but it's always fine. I often get woken up at night with what feels like a painful bladder. I've asked around at work but general consensus is that it's just another pregnancy symptom. I worry how much worse this will get in a few months though 😳

I'm 18 weeks and going crazy with exhaustion. I took the afternoon off work, I told work I'm not feeling well and came home to take a nap. Only to find serious construction work going on next door. Now I'm stuck, I can't even go back to the office! I'm so tired, I cut someone off at a roundabout on my way here and I was inches away from a car accident so I can't drive anywhere now. I worked all through the first trimester without a single sick day in spite of being sick 24/7 because I was too scared to take sick days.

Today I was so desperately tired....so now it's 2pm here, my first ever sick day (afternoon only actually) of this pregnancy and I can’t even rest. I am raging and crying. I hate being pregnant. Truly hate it. I don't know how anyone does this twice or more!

@Lillers im feeling flips/flops now like a somersault I got a 15 min video of her doing it today at the scan 🤣 no kicks just like weird rolling movements!

@Emmaev she told me today that my placenta was Low? But the said they will check for that at 20 weeks scan now I have 4 weeks of waiting 😅 … and worrying!

but not really anything I can do / change it I did a quick google and they say they like these women to have sections - fine if that’s what it means I guess I accept it as long as she’s safe!

Oh @TTCSoManyQuestions88 I’m so sorry you’re feeling so rough today! I have no words of wisdom, just that I hope you get some sleep soon!

Thanks @Lillers Mumsnet and this thread are keeping me mildly sane these days, I need the vent and the solidarity 😂

Congrats on all the news - so many girls!

@Emmaev i feel exactly the same about the anxiety, its like tightrope walking all the time. I'm randomly bursting into tears at absolutely everything, which luckily my team at work have been great about.

i did a cbt intro thing last week and have been trying the 5,4,3,2,1 thing to try and help when it gets bad but haven't quite got the hang of it yet. think I'm going to check in with the midwife tomorrow as I don't think DH can cope with another three weeks of this until the next scan.

@TTCSoManyQuestions88 sorry you've had a rubbish day, hope you have been ablentomget some sleep and feel better xx

@TTCSoManyQuestions88 you've done incredibly well to not be off sick until now! Well done you. If it makes you feel any better, many of us have had time off. I've had 2 weeks in total for different things and feel zero guilt. You and baby come first!
Take what time you need off, get a doctors note if needed.
This is tough, pregnancy is not something I'm loving either. Either pain, tiredness, mega emotions, breathless and gastrointestinal issues. Can't say it's fun

@TTCSoManyQuestions88 pregnancy actually sucks and many people think so, so don’t worry you ain’t alone there. Quite frankly I could even go further and say I don’t like the newborn stage either and would rather birth a 1 year old (I don’t do well with little sleep). There’s a reason why I will have a 6 year age gap between my two and it’s because it’s taken myself that long to hype myself up to do this again. 😂
you have done amazingly well to not be off sick so far and don’t feel guilty about it. The reason maternity sickness is protected is because women are not superheroes and sometimes we just need a break! Work can wait, yours and babies health and wellbeing is now first place.

I hope you get some well needed rest.

@longingtobe23 I had a low placenta with my first at the earlier scans, and in something like 80% of cases as your uterus expands that part of it moves up and away from the exit! It was explained to me like drawing a dot on a balloon near the mouth part, then blowing up the balloon - the stretching makes the dot “move” further from the opening. Does that make sense? 😂 by my 20 week scan it was fine, but they did an extra scan at 28 weeks to double check.

@TTCSoManyQuestions88 sorry you’re having such a rubbish time, pregnancy is SO hard. I hope you get some rest soon!

@tryingfortwo2 very helpful thanks - I’ll keep positive ! She said well if you’ve had bleeding that might be why but I had a drop of brown super early on and nothing since.
extra scans will be nice though ☺️💗

I had more with my first as twin had a whole in her heart so I got extras to check on that too!

@TTCSoManyQuestions88 I feel you today. I have spent most my evening crying to my partner as I can't cope with everything at the minute. There feels like so much on my plate and as soon as anything starts getting me stressed my antisickness tablets stop working and I am back vomiting again. I'm ready to just fast forward to a time when life is more simple will that exist or is this it now?

@rupertbear91 @tryingfortwo2 @SC126 @WinsandSam @Wibbles64 thank you all! Your replies have made me feel a little better.

I also had a cry to DP about it and how unfair it is that his life has remained unchanged and I'm struggling so much. He was very sweet and apologetic actually. He was so so helpful in my first trimester but I think because I'm not visibly sick anymore, he just sort of went back to normal and the truth is I need him more. I also demanded to be treated to some flowers and to be taken out for dinner 😅

@rupertbear91 I reaaaaally want to fast forward to mat leave! Although I am scared of how hard breastfeeding looks so I'll probably remember this time and think I didn't appreciate it enough 😆 we can't win.

@TTCSoManyQuestions88 I think it’s so hard for the men to understand how challenging this is for us. I do think it’s hard for them too, but for completely different reasons, and honestly I think I’d rather have their end of the stick! My dh is absolutely brilliant when he can see what’s wrong, ie when I’m physically sick, but he does start getting annoyed if I’m not helping with things and he can’t see what’s wrong. Not all the time, but sometimes I can just sense that it’s been building up. Like yesterday, I was exhausted and pretty much slept all day, and when I was awake I felt like crap and didn’t really want to eat. He got home from work relatively late, and by way of greeting he just said, “So I’m doing dinner then?” I said I wasn’t hungry at all, and he could sort himself out but I wasn’t bothered, and he just grumpily clattered around in the kitchen, made food for both of us and then sulked when I didn’t eat much of mine and asked if I’d been snacking all day - I told him I’d felt like crap and barely eaten anything at all and he just sort of went “hmm” like he didn’t believe me. I reminded him that I’m pregnant with his baby and that’s pretty exhausting and I don’t know from one day to the next how I’m going to feel, and it’s much worse for me being the one feeling crap than for him just having to live with me. He apologised and said he knows how hard it is for me, and he hadn’t meant to be annoyed with me, he was just fed up after a crap day at work and then having to cook when he came home, which I understand but I’m not always going to be able to fix. He did say I could have messaged and given him a heads up, which I would have, but I’d sent him several messages during the day that he didn’t respond to, so I just assumed he wasn’t paying attention to his phone. I think one of things that makes it difficult for him to empathise is he has literally never been properly ill. So he can’t compare it to a time when he’s had a sick bug, or had the flu, or anything because he’s never felt like that. So not only can he not empathise with the all-encompassing feeling of being pregnant, but he also can’t even understand feeling unwell, and certainly not feeling unwell for such a long time.

It’s good to know I’m not alone 🙈back to the usual unable to pee today after being fine overnight. I’m currently drinking water out of a 2l bottle in the hope it’ll help!

Right ladies I need everyone's opinions!

Original plan - gender scan this Saturday, get them to sort a cannon, have a gender reveal party with friends and family at the end of this month (have to wait cus of everyone's availability)

I had a gender reveal party with my 1st and enjoyed it. I wasn't sure this time but my bestie persuaded me saying I've had such a rough time with HG it'll give me something to look forward to.

But I've woken up this morning and I'm just like...I don't know if I CBA?! I am still majorly struggling with HG, so do I really wanna do all the hair, makeup, dress, balloon arch, decorations and a show and a dance for everyone else's sake really? I'm thinking what if I just find out on Saturday with my husband and our little boy, just us 3 together and soak it in and then individually tell our family and friends when we see them in person?

Or am I letting the HG suck all the fun out of this pregnancy? Cus I did enjoy my first gender reveal...but is it all just for show for everyone else? Many of the people who would be attending haven't even regularly asked me how I'm doing, despite me being in hospital 6 times already and struggling ALOT.

Help!!

@BeautyAndTheBump1 Personally I wouldn’t bother, but have you already invited people? Might make it trickier to get out of.

You could maybe film a reveal and just send it round to people? Or ask one of your friends to host for you so you don’t have to do anything.

@BeautyAndTheBump1 I wouldn’t bother either but I also find these gender reveal parties a big gimmick. We chose to find out the gender in the scan room and we took our 5 year old DS with us and it was so lovely. My son wanted a brother and when they said boy he was so happy. They recorded the heartbeat and we let my son choose a bear from their selection and they put the sound in for him. I would have zero patience waiting several more weeks too 😂

@BeautyAndTheBump1 as a fellow HG sufferer I totally get it! If it feels like a pressure not something to look forward to don't do it! We have our gender scan on Saturday too and are just finding out in the scan room. It's also my birthday next week and I told people I will make a 2 hour slot on Sunday to see everyone but that's my limit and no food to be consumed! You just have to suit your needs right now!

@Lillers luckily other than 1 couple the only people who currently know about the gender reveal is our immediate family and my 2 best friends so it wouldn't be an issue uninviting everyone 😂 I've spent the morning discussing it with my 2 friends and my mum. Husband is now all for cancelling and just us 3 finding out on Saturday

@SC126 that sounds lovely! I'm feeling the wholesome vibes. We are taking our son to the scan too and I thought we might take him out to the shop after and let him choose babies first outfit once we know the gender

@rupertbear91 yes that's exactly it! I already started worrying how far away are the toilets, am I going to have to run through everyone with a sick bag etc and just feel so embarrassed. That's a great idea about the 2 hour slot and no food i like that 🤣