Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

[Rosesanddaisies1]

I’m 8 weeks currently, had a loss last summer at 11 weeks (first pregnancy). It feels like the last 4 weeks has been about a million years! I had a scan at the EPU a couple of weeks ago after some spotting, was all fine then, and got a private scan this week. It’s so hard isn’t it, I’m over analysing every symptom and twinge.

[SnookyPook]

Just wanted to send you some hope. After a very nervous first trimester following three losses last year (a MMC at 11+4, a CP and a MC at 7wks), I'm 16wks today with our rainbow baby and everything looking good so far. Those first weeks were so difficult but try and enjoy the bits you can. Remember this is a whole new pregnancy and has every chance of ending differently this time 💕🌈🙏🏼

[MrsScotland]

Hi

I'll join you. Just found out this weekend, I'm 4 weeks tomorrow. We lost our first baby at 14 weeks last year. I had a great first trimester and got bad news at our 12 week scan. After a two week limbo we had to terminate as baby was unlikely to survive.

I am excited and hopeful at the moment but I know the scans and tests are going to be anxious.

[MrsScotland]

Other thing I can suggest is searching apple podcasts for 'pregnancy after loss' to find supportive podcasts to listen to. I listen a lot on my commute.

[Hopingrae]

Thanks for popping on ladies and so sorry for all your previous losses.

@Rosesanddaisies1 I totally hear you about the time moving slowly, it's painful isn't it!! Wish you all the luck with your private scan this week, hope everything still progressing well for you. I've been worrying about twinges too, I had a lot of strong cramping yesterday and the day before and expecting to see red every time I go to the loo. All clear so far though.

@SnookyPook I think I've seen your name on another thread! So glad everything is progressing well for you! What a relief that must be. Not far from the 20 week milestone. Do you think you'll find out the gender or will you have a surprise?

@MrsScotland congratulations on your new pregnancy. Your only just behind me! Do you think you'll get an early scan? I've not heard of that podcast, will check it out!

[MrsScotland]

Ahh it's not a particular podcast but you'll find any with that in the subject!

I have downloaded an episode called pregnancy after loss by 'The Worst Girl Gang Ever' which I have listed to before but I'm sure it will be helpful again.

[LER2023]

Im currently 7 weeks and i havent even seen a midwife yet. I cant bare to go to a midwife without going to a scan firstm as both my previous losses started after i saw the midwife. I have a scan booked in for 26/03 and my god it seems like its years away. Definitely very nervous, im dreaming of miscarriages im so scared. We're getting to the time of my previous 2 losses and i'll be honest, im shitting my knickers😮‍💨

[Hopingrae]

@MrsScotland ahh I see! Oh yes, I've heard of the worst girl gang podcast. Seen that recommended lots of times, I really should have a listen!
@LER2023 are you booked in with midwife yet? I know what you mean, I'm booked to see midwife when I'll be 8+5 and we're getting a private scan at 8 weeks exactly, because I said to DH I can't face doing the whole midwife appointment again without knowing if things are ok at that point. This part is so slow isn't it, my scan feels so long away.

[LER2023]

@Hopingrae

@MrsScotland ahh I see! Oh yes, I've heard of the worst girl gang podcast. Seen that recommended lots of times, I really should have a listen!
@LER2023 are you booked in with midwife yet? I know what you mean, I'm booked to see midwife when I'll be 8+5 and we're getting a private scan at 8 weeks exactly, because I said to DH I can't face doing the whole midwife appointment again without knowing if things are ok at that point. This part is so slow isn't it, my scan feels so long away.

Good luck with your midwife appointment, no i havent booked in just yet, its going to be a rush and a half when i do book in with them as i should he 11 weeks when i got for my private scan lol i think its very hard to go to a midwife appointment when you've suffered a loss and with me like i said before i mc the day after seeing the midwife, so id rather not go just yet, so when i do book in i'll be around 12 weeks so fast tracking all the midwife appointment to booking in another scan straight away. Definitely will be explaining why ive waited and hope that she understands but we'll see.

[SnookyPook]

@Hopingrae yes thank you! Time has sped up a little bit now I must say - definitely feel you all on that first trimester dragging! Yes I think we'll find out 🥰

@LER2023 I had at least 3 horrible miscarriage dreams early on and was worried in case it was my subconscious preparing me for another loss. It's so scary.

Just keep taking one day at a time and slowly but surely you will reach and pass your milestones 🌈💕

[Hopingrae]

@LER2023 I don't blame you for holding off. I'm sure the midwife will be understanding. I was in 2 minds about putting it off tbh, I just thought it might speed up any referrals to recurrent MC clinic if they knew about it... don't know if that's true or not though! Sometimes people don't find out until they're that far along anyway so I'm sure they're used to it!

[LER2023]

@Hopingrae

@LER2023 I don't blame you for holding off. I'm sure the midwife will be understanding. I was in 2 minds about putting it off tbh, I just thought it might speed up any referrals to recurrent MC clinic if they knew about it... don't know if that's true or not though! Sometimes people don't find out until they're that far along anyway so I'm sure they're used to it!

Well my sister in law has 3 DC, and shes now pregnant again at 23 weeks but didnt find out until she was 21 weeks! So im guessing they see it quite a lot! Good luck on your pregnancy. The nhs dont really refer you until the 3rd mc. Which i think is a joke. First one you could probably put down to being a spontaneous mc.. but more than that surely shows a problem! But thats in my eyes anyway. Its nice to have some kind of support though while waiting and praying for a good pregnancy.

How you feeling in yourself? Are you having any symptoms yet? Mine only started when i was 5 weeks. Exhausted all the time, on and off with nausea, but at the wrong times🫠 if ive had something to eat and feel nice not full just nice i'll feel sick shortly after🙃
My nipples feel like theyre being sliced like a joint of meat😪

[Hopingrae]

@LER2023 wow, that must have been a shock for your SIL finding out at 21 weeks!
Symptoms wise, I've had niggly crampy feeling for a few days, although that's been better today. Had moments of feeling exhausted, but that could just be toddler related! Otherwise nothing much but probs still too early. My boobs have been a bit tingly, but sounds like yours have been much worse that mine! Poor you. With DS I got hit by the nausea train at 6 weeks. So I'm fine not feeling nauseous at the mo, it's hideous. Ironically with MMC I had nausea immediately and hoped that was a good sign, but it obvs wasn't. So going to try not to read into anything too much if I can.

[LER2023]

@Hopingrae

@LER2023 wow, that must have been a shock for your SIL finding out at 21 weeks!
Symptoms wise, I've had niggly crampy feeling for a few days, although that's been better today. Had moments of feeling exhausted, but that could just be toddler related! Otherwise nothing much but probs still too early. My boobs have been a bit tingly, but sounds like yours have been much worse that mine! Poor you. With DS I got hit by the nausea train at 6 weeks. So I'm fine not feeling nauseous at the mo, it's hideous. Ironically with MMC I had nausea immediately and hoped that was a good sign, but it obvs wasn't. So going to try not to read into anything too much if I can.

Toddlers can be a lot of work when pregnant😅 the niggly cramps are such a pain! Luckily mine have subsided now! Fingers crossed that yours do too! The nausea train is horrible! Hopefully you dont get hit by it again at 6 weeks! Yeah im trying to stay away from google as much as i can but i feel like someone needs to take my phone away from me😂

[Sez281]

Hi ladies might jump on here if that's ok. I'm 7&5 today, I've been lurking on the October 24 thread but haven't posted yet as I'm afraid I'll jinx it. I had an MMC at 8&3 last March and a CP in July. I'm 41 with no DC so the anxiety over this pregnancy is through the roof 😣 Like you @Rosesanddaisies1 I've had a couple of scans at the epau due to cramping and so far everything looks ok, I'm back next Wednesday but have also booked a private scan for this weekend. I'm trying to get my brain to think more positively and actually enjoy these moments but it's so hard. I also upset my OH after the scan last week where we saw the heartbeat, it should have been an amazing moment but I was full of negativity about how things can still go wrong so I really am trying to snap out of it! I don't think any of us will ever totally relax but hopefully as the days and weeks go by it will get easier 🙏 🌈

[Sez281]

Oh also, is anybody on progesterone suppositories for this pregnancy? I'm on 2x400mg a day, I absolutely hate them as they're so messy but obviously I'll do anything to try & support the pregnancy 🤞, I'm just wondering if anybody has side effects from them? The EPAU are saying it's not causing my cramping that it could be trapped wind or constipation (but I don't think it's that) maybe it's just normal 1st trimester pain but it seems so extreme 😣

[Hopingrae]

@Sez281 welcome to the thread! I definitely felt exactly the same about joining an Oct 24 group and jinxing it! And I think our worries are different (understandably) from people without a history of loss too. That must have been so worrying for you to have cramping but great that the first scans have looked OK. I get what you mean re your scan experiences.
Early scans are a little small shot in time aren't they, I think my DH is the same and hopes that good news at the time eradicates the anxieties and our really doesn't. We can only go one day and one week at a time right. I hope your scan this weekend goes well.
I'm not on progesterone, my plan is to request from gp at any sign of spotting until I can get a scan sorted. But I don't know much about progesterone side effects.

[Hopingrae]

How's everyone doing? I'm 5+4, still so early! Why is this bit so sloooow? I hope you're all still doing ok and things continuing to progress and move forward. Sending positive vibes x

[MrsScotland]

Hi!

5 weeks today for me. Still feeling ok but a bit hungry and tonight I feel tired but nothing major yet! Two weeks today till my first scan. Hoping baby sits tight x

[Figtree11]

Hi everyone, hope you don’t mind me joining.
I got my BFP 2 days ago. I had a MC in November at 10 weeks.
I’ve had long cycles since then, so I really have no idea what DPO I am. I have an obvious positive test, but not very dark yet. Going to do another test tomorrow to see if it’s darkened

I am feeling ok at the moment - trying to think positive. But every time I go to the toilet I am checking for blood or spotting. I don’t think I will ever be able to stop doing that now

[Hopingrae]

@MrsScotland we'll have scans in the same week! Yes everything crossed we get there safely. I'm the same, not too many symptoms other than tiredness and sore boobs. I've had moments of nausea but nothing major.
Just realised I was wrong, I'm actually 5+5 not 5+4, I'm not tracking very well!
@Figtree11 so sorry for your recent loss and congratulations on this new pregnancy. I hope you see progress with your next test. Do you know when your AF would be due? I'm very much still checking for red every time I go to the loo too. I've had quite watery CM at times and when I feel it I quietly panic until I've gone to the loo to check.

[Figtree11]

Thanks @Hopingrae no I’m not sure when AF would be due - my first period was 8wks after MC, and then I got this positive test 6 weeks after that. So I’m not in any sort of normal cycle to be able to work it out

I can definitely relate to that panic! The same happened to me earlier with CM & I rushed off to the loo to check. I’m not sure the anxiety will ever go away!

[MrsScotland]

Ahh yes my sore boobs are actually the biggest symptom! I am going to a wedding this month and dreading having to wear a proper bra 🤣

[Nic2908]

Absolutely placemarking before I lose this thread and I will be back to catch up and meet you all properly xx

[LER2023]

I love that more people have joined this thread and feel comfortable sharing their story. Thank you to OP@Hopingrae for starting this thread.

Im 8+2 going off LMP, the sore boobies are getting a hell of a lot better!! The sickness on the other hand set in last week and i feel like its just getting worse by the day, feel like im one dry heave away from calling in work and telling them i cant come in because i feel so sick constantly. Ive gone off coffee and tea. The smell of them both makes me feel nauseous and its horrible because i just want to sit with a cup of tea with my OH in the evening when i finish work🙃 best bit about it, i work in a hospital and it has a costa around the corner so i constantly feel sick smelling that! Ginger biscuits arent doing anything for me right now! Ive tried ice lollies, it does take it away for 5 minutes and then its back with a vengence.

Due to have my private scan on 26th March which is also my partners birthday, i dont want to go and it be a missed miscarriage...and have to be transferred to EPU for treatment on my partners birthday but hes not listening to me when i say lets do it the weekend before... hes like surely if theres something wrong you'd be bleeding like you have done before. MEN!🙄 you just cant explain anything to them😅 to be honest hes been amazing with me, hes let me cry over stuff thats irrelevant🤣 hes listened to me moan that i feel sick constantly. Nobody knows about this pregnancy and we're hoping to keep it that way until atleast the 22nd when we see his sister for 'drinks' i'll just be having juice and she'll be straight onto it. Shes known about the previous 2 losses and has supported us both the most! But im scared to tell anyone incase something bad happens.

I hope this thread still goes on when we've all had our DC! 🥹 hysterically crying while thinking about it