Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@Bey what lovely news! Congratulations! Also so good to be further along than you were expecting- especially by two weeks. I see that as two weeks less worrying! I know what you mean about sharing, I’ve told myself I won’t until after the 20 week scan (if I get there) but it’s also something so exciting I’m desperate to share!
@OnNaturesCourse If your EPU is anything like mine you have to wait a few days for a scan anyway (so frustrating). I would call them and see when they can get you in and try to arrange childcare maybe?
I’m sorry you’re having a stressful time, I hope everything turns out to be just fine x

@Bey I've been thinking about you and hoping things have been ok, I'm so pleased to read you had a successful 12 week scan! What a relief that must have been. I do know that pre scan anxiety anticipating what you think you might see, it's awful. You made it through, so massive well done. Ahh and 14 weeks! How lovely. I was dated ahead too by 4 days, I found that a bit of a psychological boost! I'm now 15+4, time is passing! We had a bit of a worry with a higher risk combined blood test, but NIPT came back very low risk.
I'm also the same as you re a bit tentative about telling people and it still feels a bit odd when people are quite rapturous with their congratulations. My friend said to me early on "I'll hold your excitement for you" which was such a beautiful thing, that helped. We've got a private scan next Thurs, possibly finding out the gender. I hope you start to feel a bit more comfortable. Equally, it's totally expected that you might feel up and down still. I'm planning to ask my midwife if I can be referred to perinatal mental health team, I've recently had a prolapse and I feel like my resilience has burnt out a bit. I'm ok in the main, but think it might help to speak to someone.
Congratulations again, so pleased for you lovely x

@Zlcb and @Bey - I had my scan last week and am 14 weeks now and felt exactly the same about keeping quiet till 20 weeks. I bought dresses to cover it etc but my husband was desperate to tell his parents and we knew they just wouldn't keep it to themselves so we let immediate family know and it's spread! I've only been saying to friends if I've seen them but twice now friends have said, oh I guessed because of your dress 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm fine with people knowing but still anxious to talk about it because afterwards my thoughts are 'what if baby's not even alive anymore and I'm making a fool of myself'. Not sure I'll feel any differently after 20 weeks to be honest but at least movements will reassure.

Ladies, I've just noticed this is probably the last page of this thread, I think they max out at the end of page 40! Just wanted to say thanks for all the lovely support you've all shared, I didn't know how much flow this thread would generate and I'm so pleased it's been used so well! If anyone wants to do a "part 2" feel free, I'll definitely pop on from time to time! Xxx

Hi all,

I’ve read every message on this thread and found it so comforting and want to be a part of this network. I have just seen @Hopingrae explain that this may need a part 2 as it won’t go past page 40, I would appreciate if someone could start this up and then I can properly introduce myself!

Ive created a part 2 to this thread for extra help and support for everyone. Anybody is free to join. Sending you all love although ive not been very active on this thread. Wishing you all the best and i'll still be around xx

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5071488-pregnancy-after-loss-part-2

Thank you to the wonderful @Hopingrae for this amazing thread that you started.
And thank you to everyone who has started chiming in and giving help and support where you can even though pregnancy is extremely hard and exhausting.

I'm writing this from my work laptop, as I barely have any signal at the hospital.

I just wanted to give a massive shout out to Hopingrae for the continuous support that you've given even when you have been struggling yourself, and for the others that are an active part of this thread.
It wouldn't have been such an amazing thread without you all on here giving your help, advice and experience.
Its been such an honor to be able to share my very short experience and my past
experiences in this thread. As it did help so much!! it helped me to overcome my miscarriage and overcome the pregnancy fears. we're all only human and we will be able to get through it and come out the other side with our rainbow babies.

Our thread now has a part 2 for anyone who wishes to join in the future, whether it gets to September time and we have people who are currently starting off their pregnancy journey, we will all get through this together.

Anyone is welcome to join the new thread and i want to say Thank you to all who have been brave enough to share their experiences good and bad.

Its so hard but we all end up getting through the bad and the good.

Hoping to hear from you all in the future (those who have gone from this thread and those who are currently ghosting the thread but come on from time to time) for you to share your amazing news of your wonderful rainbow babies.

Wishing you all so much love, luck and hope for the future, i'll see you all in part 2! <3

(again i'm not on my phone and the emoji button isn't working on mumsnet hahaha)

I’m still following and @LER2023 @Hopingrae both your posts just made me cry. So invaluable. I know I’m not pregnant anymore, but I still want to follow you all and feel your excitement when you all have those rainbow babies to give me to hope for my own.

you are all beautiful.

@Zlcb @Hopingrae @Traitors2024

Thank you ladies, even after updated this thread I had a huge panic like what if I've jinxed things (so silly I know) I felt better for a couple of days then the anxiety is creeping in again. Trying to stay positive though. I really don't think I can hold off telling people another 6 weeks I'm already showing quite a bit. So I think ppl may start to guess soon. I totally know what you mean it's not people knowing that bothers me I'm just not ready to talk about it yet or feel excited, that's lovely thing of your friend to have said about holding excitement for you very sweet.

@bey I've felt like that too with jinxing things. I tell myself it's silly but I still feel it. Just out brains trying to protect us! We've got a few people over today, I'm braced for the congratulatory comments and will try and move it on quickly! Then I'm also dreading the "helpful advice and insights" about having two children. Sigh. Wishing everyone a sunny and chilled weekend! x

You're so right @Hopingrae that's exactly what it is. Hope your get together goes well x

@Hopingrae @Bey I haven't even contacted the midwife team for my booking appointment - I am waiting for my first scan next week! I just don't want to have to cancel it again like last time if things don't work out.

Hello, new here.
I am 8 weeks pregnant and I’ve had 3 miscarriages in the past. I am so petrified and constantly worried and anxious. I saw the heartbeat 4 days ago but it’s not stopped with the anxiety I am feeling.

@AAW1993 hey lovely! Welcome and congrats on your BFP. We all understand how you're feeling - it's super nerve-wracking. If you check up the page a few posts there is a link to the Part 2 thread which is where all the chat is now 😊 x

Here I am again. I just can’t believe it. We lost a a baby in January 2024 and another via medical intervention in April. Both times we caught again the next cycle and it’s happened again. Don’t get me wrong I feel so grateful that I can get pregnant as it took 3 years to get our first bfp and now it seems like my body has kick started from something not sure why. I feel everywhere I wasn’t quite ready emotionally but when will you be after loss? I just can’t bare to go through the physical and emotional pain. Can anyone gove any advice of how they’ve kept a positive attitude? My results from my reocccuring loss tests have come back normal. I am waiting for the results of the baby’s genetics etc I’m just petrified

@Rockyslife ah welcome back lovely! Congrats on your BFP. See link to Part 2 thread a little way up the page 💗

Hi everybody 👋
This is my 1st post. I had an early miscarriage at 5 and a half weeks last year and I think I'm having another one at 11 weeks. Although I'm having a scan in 2 days time just to make sure (the earliest they could book me in). I wondered if anyone else had had a miscarriage roughly around this time and how it played out. Sorry for other people's losses as well and great to have this thread it's helpful.

@yabadabbado1983 so sorry for your previous loss and sorry that you think you may be about to go through it again (is there a reason you suspect?). I had a loss last year at 11+4, although the baby had stopped developing 7+5 so it may depend on how early on the baby stopped growing. Mine was thankfully very straightforward. I was booked in for surgery but lost it naturally before the surgery happened. It was heavy bleeding - I had to stay sitting on the toilet as it was coming regularly and would have flooded pads. Pain wise it was like early stage labour if you've ever been through that, or a bit of a bad period. It was manageable with paracetamol and a hot water bottle. It lasted about 48hrs and then was done. I had a scan that showed I had passed everything. Obviously everyone's experience is different but mine was certainly not as horrendous as I'd feared.

Really hope you're mistaken and get some unexpected happy news but if not, sending lots of courage and hope for the future 💗