Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

I’ve been feeling a bit paranoid today. Have had dull period type cramps on and off all day. Not really bad but noticeable that I’ve got a hot water bottle.

Im 5-6wks, and rationally know that cramping is normal. And my previous MC didn’t even start with cramping. But I’ve been going to the toilet often to check for blood.

This pregnancy after loss anxiety is tough. Yet I’m trying to be grateful that today I am pregnant

@30somethingttc oh wow twins!!! How amazing! Fingers crossed for the next few weeks to go smoothly for you until your next scan. Lovely news.

Booked my scan in for Monday so i'll update you all how it goes🫣

@Nic2908 i get that, id love to have scans every day to make sure everythings okay! My nipples have been on fire, literally feeling like theyve been sliced with a blunt knife..

But then when i hit 7 and half weeks, the sickness hit me and im currently 9+4 and im starting to feel SO much better, im not as tired although id never turn down a nap😂 i dont feel as sick as i did, it seems to come and go, i just feel hungry and thirsty all the time at the minute. Had a egg mayo sandwich earlier and 2 bags of crisps and i still felt as though i could eat a cow😬

I have some ice lollies in the freezer which sound so good right about now! No cravings just yet (thankfully) although i just sit and im like oh i fancy such and such and i sit on that idea for days before i have it and i feel better😂

Im moody most of the time this week, but i dont feel it if that makes sense. Its more the mood swings. Like i nearly tore my partners head off earlier because he was hangry and getting mardy with me although id offered to make him some lunch, he kept saying i dont know what i want.. he very nearly lost his head because i was so close to ripping it off🤣

Yet throughout these last 9 weeks we've been saying that ive not been very angry and aggressive and then today im just fumin at every little thing🫠

The symptoms may come, but you may be the lucky one who doesnt have many symptoms?

So sorry your feeling anxious.
I had and am still having cramping throughout mine at 7+2 today.
I have also read that it is super normal and just your body adjusting. I think probably even more at the early stages when everything grows and forms.
hopefully it’s settled today but be kind to yourself as it is really hard to not overthink things when you’ve got through a loss.

@30somethingttc Aww that's amazing, so happy for you. It's such a great feeling when the epau discharge you too isn't it 🙌

@LER2023 That's great that you have the scan booked for Monday. Hopeful the weekend goes by quickly for you 🤞

@Nic2908 I'm glad you're focusing on the positive and the fact that this time next week you will know what you are having ☺️ Did they say how they do it? Obviously the most important part of the letter/email are the risk factors. Once we know that I'm low risk 🙏 then we'd like to find out the sex, I'm just wondering if it's on the same page or not 🤔 I'll ask when I go in on Tuesday. I'm with also with you on the would have multiple scans if I could. I've had 4 since my BFP (3 epau and one private) so I'm going to have to adjust to bigger time frames!

@Figtree11 I totally understand the fear over cramping. I'm 10+2 today and have pretty much had it since 8dpo 😢 I'm now at the stage where I'm pretty sure 99% of the time it's digestive pain (I'm not badly constipated but my gp prescribed lactalose as progesterone messes up your system) but it's so scary when you get cramps especially after loss. Some days I try ignore it but others I worry that I'm ignoring "real" or dangerous ones so it's a minefield emotionally 😕 I guess all you can do is listen to your body, if you feel then getting wired maybe go to epau for some reassurance x

@Hopingrae sorry to hear your sickness is quite bad. For me symptom wise mine have ramped up drastically in the last week or so. Ever since I hit 9 weeks my nausea is way more intense. I assumed because it was quite mild for the first few weeks that it would stay that way but nope 😣 It's a catch 22 because I'm so grateful to have gotten to this stage and have been ttc for so long since the mc I feel like an awful person for moaning but at the same time I just feel so crappy I can't help it. Hopefully only another few weeks of it 🤞

@Sez281 cause of the placenta the baby actually leaves some of their dna in your blood which I think is super cool. So they use the dna to analyse the chromosomes and the sex. It is on the same page yes, but you can opt for them not to look at that you don’t have to. The midwife rings me to go through the results and then emails me the letter so that my husband and I can find out the sex together. When I used a private company they just sent out the email straight to me so I knew not to look until we were together. It was a long ass day!!

I am 11 weeks today. 12 week scan a week on Monday and it cannot come soon enough. Although I know it’s going to give me no reassurance. I have 2 mile stones 14 weeks and 16 weeks. Fingers crossed we get to celebrate getting through them together x

@Nic2908 oh that's good to know, hopefully my clinic does the same and calls first. That way we can go for a walk to a local park or beach or something and open it together and find out the sex a little more relaxed 🙏

I'm so sorry to hear of your milestone dates. My last one was 8+3. Every loss is horrendous but I can't imagine getting to 14 & 16 weeks only to then be floored by it happening. Hopefully the next few weeks fly by for you and you can move on to the next chapter xx

Hope you don’t mind if I join! I’m 7 weeks today according to the flo app. I had a miscarriage in December.

I am normally a really relaxed person but the anxiety is unreal. I have an early private scan booked for Tuesday. I’m analysing every little thing. I have very few symptoms aside from sore boobs, which have now disappeared and the odd bit of nausea which has gone. It makes me think something is wrong. I absolutely won’t let myself slip into the habit of having weekly private (and expensive!) scans, or constantly taking pregnancy tests so check the line. It’s exhausting.

@Makeitmakesenses welcome to the thread and so sorry for your previous loss. Wish you all the best for your scan next week, i know it can be so anxiety provoking in the build up. I don't know if this helps to share or not re not many symptoms, with my last MMC I had all the pregnancy symptoms going and was very nauseous but that didn't have any baring on the success of the pregnancy. So try not to worry about that too much. Easier said than done I know!

I took my first anti nausea pill this morning and I have to say it definitely seems to have taken the edge off, thank goodness! Although don't want to speak too soon... I'm very fatigued which was a side effect listed. First trimester is always exhausting though anyway, so I can live with that!

Thank you @30somethingttc it’s reassuring to hear other people’s experiences with cramping. It seems to have settled down today.

@Sez281 thank you for sharing your experience too. I don’t think I will ever stop fretting about different things.

So this morning for the first time I’ve felt real excitement. Then I got mad at myself for allowing that knowing that I still have such a long way to go. So my question is, how many of you are allowing yourself to be excited and how many are just living in total fear and too afraid to allow yourself to be excited?

@Nic2908 Aw I totally get it. It's such a double edged sword 😢 I've had a couple of fleeting moments where I've allowed myself to be excited, but then there's others where I've found the conversation with my OH drifting jokingly to baby names or talking about buying stuff and I've cut it short as I'm worried about jinxing it. I have a scan on Tuesday along with my Nipt bloods and my anxiety is building, so much so that I barely slept and had nightmares about it last night.

So to answer your question I don't think that anybody on this thread will ever allow ourselves to be 100% excited, but hopefully as the pregnancy progresses we can allow ourselves to be a little more hopeful 🙏 🌈

Hi everyone ☺️

I'd love to join this group.

I have been going slightly insane and panicking this last week. Brief background: 4 years ttc, 4 early miscarriages, 100s of tests, diagnosis high nk cells and cytoines. Currently 7wks4d pregnancy via IVF and on an immune protocol. Furtherest I have gotten without bleeding and spotting. I had a scan at 6wks2 and we saw a heart beat for the first time too and my clinic discharged me. This past week I haven't had many symptoms, just the sore boobs, hungry and dizziness other than that I'm feeling OK. I am on steroids with I know masks pregnancy symptoms alot but I have been going on a downwards spiral all weekend. Luckily epu are giving me a reassurance scan tomorrow morning. I just don't know what I'll do if anything bad happens again. Pregnancy after loss is the hardest thing and it's such a lonely place to be in. 😪😪

@Nic2908 I’m still in the it doesn’t feel real stage. I still can’t imagine this working out well for me - maybe it’s a way of protecting myself by not imagining a good outcome. I’m only 6 weeks, so if I get further along hopefully that will change

Hi @2024sun pregnancy after loss is so so hard. I know you say you haven’t many symptoms, but they are still symptoms 😊 I’m 6 weeks and only symptoms I’ve had is sore boobs. Had mild wave of nausea today, but not sure if that’s pregnancy or the early Easter egg I’ve been eating 😆 I hope your scan goes well tomorrow

@Nic2908 I'm glad you felt some excitement. That feels positive. I completely understand your hesitation with your feelings though. I don't think I have felt any excitement as yet. I think I will go ahead with my 8 week scan this week though and see where we are. I was talking to a friend (who has had 2 MMC herself) and said I don't think I can deal with anything else going wrong with scan and she said there is a chance of some positive news too. It sounds silly, that kind of blew my mind, it hasn't even entered my head. But it made me dread the whole thing less. If we get some good news I might allow myself a bit of excitement. When will you next scan be?12 weeks?

@2024sun welcome to the group! What a journey you've been on. So great to have seen a heartbeat. It's a funny feeling being further than you ever have. I wish you so much luck with this little bean. I hope your scan goes smoothly this morning, it's good that epu are looking after you.

@LER2023 wishing you so much luck with your scan today x

Thank you so so much, i'll be back to let you know how it goes, its at 3.30 today!! X

Im not going to lie i just want to cancel it as im so scared.

Weirdly i said to my partner last night when he was tipsy on the verge of drunk and telling me how much he loves me 'babe have my nipples changed colour, i feel like they have weirdly' he went 'yeah your nipples have gotten a little darker but the colour around it hasnt changed? Is that meant to happen?' Hahahaha im not too sure? This is my first pregnancy that ive had a change in colour of my nipples😂

No cravings just yet, very sore boobs still, cramping has totally disappeared too! No sickness, but loads of dry heaving! The dog shit on my arm this morning and i was nearly sick and almost cried😂 am i over thinking that im going to get to the scan and be told the same thing again that baby doesnt have a heartbeat? I should work out around 8 weeks, but going off the LMP im currently 10 weeks. No bleeding, no cramping, i woke up very tired this morning like almost exhausted i didnt sleep too well last night after his drinking enduced snoring kept me awake!

@Hopingrae its such a self preservation thing isn’t it. She’s right, there is a good chance it will be good news. We are all hoping it will be. My scan is a week today.

@LER2023 good luck! Will be thinking of you.

Good luck with your 8 week scan! Let us know how you get on 💐 x

Thank you 😊 scan went well and I am so grateful. I just can't believe this is actually happening to me. I'm so used to watching other people have the good news xx

that’s such great news @2024sun!!

@2024sun thats such brilliant news!

@LER2023 how did you get on today?

@2024sun this is great news 😊