Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@Nic2908 hi, welcome to the thread from the other thread we were on together! 😉
@MrsScotland I'm the opposite, I'm ok with a bra on, it's when I take it off and they feel sooo blimmin heavy that I don't like 🤣
@LER2023 that's good that DH had been looking after you! Sorry to hear nausea has ramped up! I remember going off tea and coffee with DS. I'm still having one coffee a day so not there yet! I found plain today helped before, but like you say only for a second before it comes right back!
I've ended up telling my sister as she was asking me about how things were, but I was very matter of fact about it and said I'm not telling anyone else until we've got something to tell. It just feels like I'm jinxing it somehow even though I know jinxing is not really a thing!

Well if it means im going to have a boy me and my partner will be over the moon with that, we had the boys name chosen way before we had the girl and we've stuck with our boys name has his middle name will be double barrelled with both our dads names in. Well i started with 2 coffees or 2 teas a day, then i went down to 1 coffee a day which was just in the morning because i never knew what to do with myself without a coffee in a morning and now i cant have any. It makes me feel so poorly, my manager/co worker who is the only person i work with keeps offering me decaf coffee and i just cant cope with it. I keep telling her no and giving excuses but i dont know how long i can keep giving her an excuse before i have to just blurt out im pregnant and cant drink it😅
The only problem is she knows my mum... and i dont want to tell her before i tell my mum. I mean my mums going to be fumin, she found out other week shes having another grandchild as it is and she didnt seem too happy with that although my brother is 37 and has been with his OH for over 5 years? Shes a bit of an akward one😅 im a little stuck on that front but im running out of excuses as she always asks why im not having a coffee with her!

Hi joining from the ttc in 2024 after a loss thread.

it's super early days for me I'm only about three weeks. Had my BFP at 10dpo I'm now 14dpo and AF would be due tomorrow but I've had confirmation on a clear blue digital that I am 2-3 weeks pregnant.

I can't quite believe it and me and my husband both feel like it just doesn't feel real yet. I'm so happy but also very anxious. Going to take it one day at a time and just hope for the best.

@Bey yay! Welcome to the thread! That's great that you got 2-3 weeks on a digital! Sounds like things are progressing well.
I was very similar with my DH, we've got to a point where we don't really talk about it now, I don't really want to talk about it tbh and I think DH just wants to support whatever I do. Maybe it keeps it less real which feels safer?! Who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hi ladies,

Joining after getting my positive yesterday and then it progressing this morning. Still very early.

I'm so nervous that this will not end well. I've had 3 previous miscarriages. 2 before having my son and then 1 in January of this year at just 6 weeks. I'm terrified of this one going to same way. And just want to skip forward to seeing a health happy baby on the screen.

Hope everyone is doing well! Xx

@Chaz693 so lovely to have you join the thread. I'm so sorry for your previous losses. I've also had 3 previous losses myself (and like you also have a DS!), it's such a minefield of emotion isn't it. One day at a time is easy to say but I know it can be so hard in reality. Everything crossed for you this time for a sticky bean. Do you think you'll have an early scan?
I've got to 6 weeks today and definitely feeling nauseous the last couple of days. I'm wondering about speaking to my gp about anti nausea tablets to make it easier to hide from work. My manager is really supportive but I dread having to say I'm pregnant (again) unless I know things are OK. Maybe that's silly. Has anyone else spoken to work about their pregnancy yet?

Thank you! I'm sorry for your losses. Really does take some of the joy out of finding out you're pregnant again. It may sound mad but I can't bring myself to book an early scan till I'm past 7 weeks due to the last time I booked one for my last pregnancy I then miscarried the next day. Almost felt like I'd jinxed it. Which I know is completely silly. But the EPU in my area did say after my last miscarriage that if I get pregnant again to give them a call at 6 weeks and they'll book me in for a scan. So I may do that, just to make myself better.

I currently don't work as I'm a full time carer for my son who is autistic and delayed. So I'm lucky that I can hide the fact I'm pregnant quite easily, just have to get through school run without throwing up lol! 😂 oh and running round after him when he's home lol. But I didn't tell my last job I was pregnant with him till I had hit 12 weeks, I had a couple of colleagues that I trusted that knew after I hit 10 weeks. But to be fair when I did tell my manager he said congratulations but can you not go on maternity leave coz I don't want to lose you. Lol! He was lovely about it. X

@Chaz693 it's great that your epu do reassurance scans. Mine don't unfortunately. I know what you mean. I've felt exactly the same, for my own different reasons, about if and when to book an early scan. I think we really carry that trauma of what's happened last time with a real fear that it will just happen the same way again. We did decide to book a private one at 8 weeks in the end, DH said he thought it would help to know sooner if there's a problem again rather than waiting until 12 weeks. Whatever we do is going to be hard.
I've contacted to gp about asking for anti nausea meds, I've read they can really help and it might also help me keep it from work for now too! Appt next week, hopefully i can hold out until then!

Hi Ladies. As promised back for a proper hello @Hopingrae thank you do much for setting this up. I’m on a beautiful October babies group, but I feel so guilty every time I talk about my loss or how I am feeling as it must be triggering for other people.

last March I lost my daughter at 16 weeks. I went to a private gender scan to be told in stead that there was no heartbeat. My whole world fell apart as you can imagine. The thought of going for a private scan now truly terrorises me, and I have been diagnosed with ptsd. I delivered by daughter and buried her a few weeks later. Certainly not what I had anticipated as my future.

i am now 9+6. Trying to take each day as it comes. Scan at 8+4 on epu was good. I have my nipt next week. Then scans at 12, 14 and 16 weeks, so I really am being taken care of by the unit. But I can’t even tell you how terrified I am.

luckily I have my DS who is 3 years old and I am so so greatful for him. He’s been my saviour.

the worst girl Hannah ever book and podcast I highly recommend.

I can’t want for us to hopefully have our rainbow babies.

hi @Nic2908 i can relate to your fear around private scans. It’s a private scan at 10wks where I found out my baby had no heartbeat. I can remember every second so vividly. I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles.

I won’t be booking a private scan this time. However the EPU said they would offer a reassurance scan at 8wks, or at 6wks if I had bleeding. I’m only around 4wks at the moment, so have time to decide whether to have that one.

I am putting off ringing up for my booking in appt too. I miscarried just a few days after I had that before

This is me too. I don't want to jinx anything. I'm so early and trying my best to just continue on each day and not focus on it but it's almost impossible. I do have a 4 year old running about that keeps me busy. But I'm trying my best to not overthink everything. I think the closer to 6 weeks I get the worse I'll feel as this was when I miscarried every time. I won't be booking my booking in appointment till after 6 weeks as I can't take another phone call to them to cancel. X

@Chaz693 oh gosh yes the ringing around everywhere after my MC before is not what you need when you’re in such a fragile state.

I kind of have my head in the sand that I’m even pregnant at the moment! If things carry on ok, I’ll think about dealing with the practicalities in a few weeks

Hi group!
I have ummd and ahhd about posting on here out of somehow jinxing something. Stupid I know but I feel like a lot of you feel the same about different milestone.
also don’t really have anyone to turn too that’s been in the same situation in my life.
I had a missed miscarriage in November at almost 10 weeks with our first and now almost 7 weeks pregnant with twins (the best news / shock of our lives).
I’ve got a viability scan at EPU on 15th as I’ve had early bleeding again and I honestly can’t bare the wait and the fear of being told there’s no heart beat for one or both babies.
I’ve had a lot of twinges and belly pain recently and that’s got me worried but trying to tell myself it’s just growing pains as my body adjusts.
8 more days to go until we see how they’ve grown need to get myself in a better headspace that’s for sure!!

@30somethingttc

Congratulations! Totally understand the whole not doing something coz you feel like your going to jinx it. I'm exactly the same. It's good you got a reassurance scan. I'm hoping I'll be able to get one. But also hoping I have no bleeding to need one. Fingers crossed your next scan is all okay. I know what you mean about the cramps. I convinced myself they were normal and that it was just my body adjusting but honestly every time I have them I'm terrified to go to the toilet just in case. I'm so early that I know that I can't have symptoms but doesn't stop be worrying about any twinge or odd feeling I have! X

@SnookyPook great to read your news, I remember your username from a MC thread

@Hopingrae (And everyone else hoping for a baby after loss) good luck.

Yes almost too in tune with our bodies. I feel like I’ve lost the joy and every different feeling is a new source of worry.
I don’t know if anyone has it but I’ve found the pregnancy after loss book quite nice. Writing something I’m grateful for every day and reading other stories and bits of information along the way.
Yeah it is good about the scan. My EPU have been incredible and I know we are lucky that they’ve seen us so many times. They found a haematoma on my last scan which explained the bleeding but it’s hard to separate that from something more sinister when I see the blood.

I’ve got literally everything possible crossed for you all in this group ❤️❤️

Hi all,

i hope you don’t mind me joining, this is my first MN’s post so please forgive me if I get the protocol wrong!

im currently 9+6 with my second pregnancy after losing my little boy last year at 23+6. I’m a solo mum through IVF and although I have an amazing network of family and friends, chatting to you all who truly understand is really helpful. Thank you @Hopingrae for starting it.

@Sez281 I’m also on progesterone, having lots of symptoms, nausea all day, heartburn and ‘unsettled’ toilet habits but I’m also on iron for anemia so could also be from that or just normal pregnancy symptoms which I didn’t have last time.

desperately trying to keep busy and distracted, currently looking at evening classes!

@30somethingttc @SomersetClimber welcome to the thread! I hope you guys find it a supportive place to be in these tricky few weeks and months. Praying we all get the outcome we so hope for!
@30somethingttc I feel like everything I do is somehow a jinx too! Think it's just our brains trying to look after us, in a slightly strange way!
@SomersetClimber keeping busy sounds like a good plan, especially evening classes! Have you got anything in mind? I always liked the idea of doing an art class... not that I'd be very good 😂

My nausea has really ramped up to the point it woke me up a few times last night. Not had that before overnight, really hope it doesn't last too long and that gp can help with meds. Was meant to be taking DS swimming this morning but think we might be looking at a sofa day. Thankfully he's pretty tired after 3 long days at nursery! Phew

The nausea is a killer! Really sorry to hear your going through this and that its really ramped up today.

Luckily mine has subsided, i feel like a brand new woman, a little tired ill admit but im feeling 100x better im currently at 8w+4d! I know im celebrating a little too much as its either a really bad thing or my symptoms are going to come back and bite me.

Im worried and relieved if that even makes sense.

I had another dream on a miscarriage last might, got a few cramps this morning. Bht thats all i have, oh my sense of smell is just horrendous. I could still smell what we had for tea last night, this morning!!
Cant deal with myself half the time lmao

Im on the count down to my scan now! 26th march!! Not be long now! Just have another 2 weeks of waiting to see if i bleed or not😅 i think i laugh about everything because id just sit and cry if i didnt! Hope everyone is doing okay! X

The toilet fear is intense!
my symptoms have been really hit and miss. Some days intense and others feel totally fine - anyone else experiencing that? Or did at 7 weeks?

Every day!! I hate going to the loo and as tmi as this is going to sound. This pregnancy ive had more discharge than i have ever had in my entire existance, so i feel like im bleeding. The relief but panic when i think i am bleeding is just a joke

@LER2023 that's good if your nausea has subsided a bit! It's amazing how all consuming it feels. It's always a bit daunting when symptoms change even when there's a positive! Hopefully it just means your hormones are settling down finally. I've had such vivid dreams too, they're exhausting! And totally agree re sense of smell, I went totally off garlic with DS for whole pregnancy and same seems to be happening again. We had it the other night and I could still smell it next morning. I said to DH no more garlic for a while! It does feel a bit like that waiting for a scan doesn't it, every day checking for everything to be OK or not.

Anyone obsessed with taking pregnancy tests? I don't know if it helps me or not but I literally can't help but want reassurance of seeing the line getting darker. I've ordered some more coz I'm running out but at the same time I know that it means nothing. But it's the only way at the moment I feel like I can track if things are going the right way. X

@SomersetClimber it's so hard to know if it's progesterone or pregnancy related isn't it 🙈 By GP said that she thinks it's 80% progesterone related (I'm on 2x400mg daily) so I'm taking omperazol and fructalose to try ease it a bit but not really working. It's stressful because it's so easy to confuse digestive type pains with uterus pain and after loss it's even more upsetting 😕

I have been discharged from the epau as I'm measuring 9 weeks and everything looks good. It's a great milestone for me as the MMC was at 8+3 last year. I think the anxiety will be with us at every stage for the whole pregnancy as everyone on this thread knows all too well what can happen at any time but fingers crossed for us all 🙏 🌈

This is definitely pregnancy hormones, but that brought tears to my eyes!!

Im so glad you have been discharged from EPU, it feels like a relief when you've passed a milestone!! We seem to think we've passed a milestone finally!!! 3rd time lucky, we mc'd at 6+1 and 5+3 but the LMP clock didnt tick over 8 weeks, this time we're getting close to 9 weeks!! 2 more sleeps at i'll be hitting the 9 week mark according to LMP! I feel like we need to celebrate hitting milestones😅

virtual glass of wine 🥂 CHEERS TO PASSING MILESTONES!

Lets celebrate to milestones, theyre incredible things, id love to know what other peoples milestones are.

Whats your milestone that you've hit or close to hitting?

sending everyone so much love and hope at this very scary and incredibly difficult time 🌈 👶 💙 💗