Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@Chaz693 I’m so sorry. Be kind to yourself. Xx

@Chaz693 this is so heartbreaking!! Im so sorry, please be kind to yourself.
God, life is just so cruel. Good luck for the future. Hopefully your rainbow baby will be coming soon🌈❤️

@Hopingrae im so sorry for your loss. Its definitely a hard time losing a family member. You definitely need to do whats right for you and your family. Sending you and your family so much love at this time x

Hi ladies,

A very reluctant post from me, this one. But I think I need to.

I’m 36, 5 previous MCs (MMC at 12 week scan, 2 other miscarriages and 2 CPs - not in that order) and no other children.
I’m under the local recurrent miscarriage team and have been having weekly reassurance scans from 7 weeks onwards.
At the 7 week scan, we saw a lovely heartbeat and baby measuring 6+4 (being behind by 3 days did worry me but baby has consistently grown by a week on each scan since so I’m trying not to worry about it).

I will continue having weekly scans as I find I start to convince myself baby has stopped growing every week. Over-analysing every symptom and checking for blood every time I go to the loo is, frankly, exhausting.

I am currently 8+5, and haven’t booked in yet as want to wait longer. I just can’t afford to get too attached or carried away, not just yet anyway.
Planning on doing a private NIPT at 10weeks so maybe my brain will then accept it.

I sort of accepted and got over my previous MCs reasonably well, and function well daily, but this is proving to be quite an emotional rollercoaster.

@Kroot welcome. We are a great bunch of ladies who know far too well how you are feeling. I hope that we can support you over the next several months and beyond.

I started watching birth vlogs today, trying to surround myself with positivity thinking and the law of attraction. Only it backfired and now of course my brain is telling me that I’ve gone and jinxed it. Nipt tomorrow, we don’t get a scan as it’s private through the nhs but hopefully in a weeks time I will know that everything is ok and whether we have a little boy or a little a girl. I actually can’t wait as I think it will make me feel more connected.

Welcome @Kroot sorry to hear about the struggles that you have been through.
Great that you got to see the heartbeat though. I hope things carry on smoothly for you.

I will be around 6wks this weekend. Still unsure when to arrange my booking in appt, might leave it til I hopefully get to 7wks and then ring up. Last pregnancy i rang up at around 5wks, but it took 3 or 4 wks for them to arrange my appointment

Alright then... yesterday i woke up and i was wide awake and went the whole day wide awake and not feeling sick. Like pre pregnancy feelings.

Today woke up and im not tired at all. Like im up and i have so much energy.. is this normal? Im only 9 weeks and 3 days? So im really confused. No bleeding, some cramping but mainly when i need a wee. Im also not weeing much? Im seeing people on threads saying theyre peeing a lot more, waking up in the night to to to the toilet and im just not?

Should i be worried? My symptoms have disappeared the last day and today and im not weeing too much, and i have slight cramping but not all the time, and its not really like period cramps, theyre less? If that makes sense.

Im so worried, cant go for a scan just yet as ours is booked in for next weekend😪

Hi @LER2023 I’m sure your change in symptoms are nothing to worry about. I know how unsettling it is. But our bodies are funny things, sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason. You might find tomorrow you feel different again. I was feeling sick this morning for a few hours, but now feel completely fine!

Theres a woman at work pregnant with a due date of what my previous pregnancy would have been. I find it hard being around her. Even though I am now pregnant again, I struggle to listen to her & see her. Especially with not knowing if this pregnancy will progress.
Not seen her in a couple of weeks, but back today & she doesn’t stop talking about it.
I feel awful for feeling this way but I just don’t want to hear about it

@LER2023 oh bless you, I can understand why that's worrying for you. I think I've heard that around 9 weeks the placenta takes over which might lessen symptoms. I know you wanted to avoid midwife at the stage...but if you're really worried could you contact your gp and ask for referral to epu? I think you'd be totally valid in doing that and I'm sure they would refer if you are feeling really concerned. I know from painful experience, it can be tricky joining up any issues between private and NHS scans. I hope you're doing ok, sending MN hugs

@Kroot welcome to the thread, I hope you find it a supportive place! So sorry for your previous losses. Everything crossed for this little bean, it sounds positive that your scan measurements are tracking consistently. I haven't thought about NIPT, haven't really looked into it. What does it look at/ measure? I hope that goes well for you.

@Figtree11 it's so hard dealing with things like that. I think try to avoid her as best you can and look after yourself. I've been ok with pregnant women this time (I really wasn't the first time), which has surprised me, but my sister in law had a baby in Jan and it nearly broke me. It's odd the different things that can trigger us. Be kind to yourself

Thank you to yourself and @Hopingrae!

Im hoping my symptoms come back quick because although its nice to feel myself again its SO SCARY! ive never got to this stage before! And im still not bleeding so im like AHHHHHH (scared and excited🤣🤣)

Its so hard isnt it, its hard knowing that people are having babies when you would have been due. Its hard knowing peoe have babies in general and you've suffered countless losses!

Is it possible to say to her ' im really sorry i am happy for you, im just trying to grieve my baby that ive lost' and just explain the situation to her? Its a really difficult situation to be in though.

Sending you MN hugs! 💐 x

Thank you @Hopingrae ❤️ Other pregnant women im ok around, it’s just her with having the same due date, I find myself comparing

@LER2023 hopefully this is now the next stage of your journey, heading closer to 12 wks & starting to feel better.
Thank you - I try & take myself off to do another job that isn’t at my desk so I don’t have to listen. Some days I just zone out, others it just gets to me!

@Chaz693 I'm just catching up. So sorry to read your update😢. I know there's nothing anybody can say but I hope you're doing ok xx

Welcome @Kroot I agree that this is exactly there type of thread that's needed when you've been through so much and are anxious.

@Nic2908 Hope the Nipt went ok today. Did they say when you'd get your results? I have mine next Tuesday at 10+5, it includes a scan so I'm anxiously waiting for that too as it'll be 2 weeks since the epau discharged me

@LER2023 sorry to hear that you're feeling so worried about the symptoms coming and going. I have read that it's very normal once the placenta takes over. Hopefully the days before your scan will pass quickly for some reassurance 🤞

@Hopingrae the Nipt is a blood test to check for chromosomal abnormalities. It's not a mandatory test and I believe it's done automatically if anything is picked up on a nt scan but some people get it earlier for peace of mind, it's a personal preference though

I keep popping up to say morning and show im still here🤣

I love how supportive this thread is, i want it to last🥹

Ive woken up today with VERY sore nipples again and a little bit of cramping so much for symptom loss🤣🤣

I do still feel like myself however. Im not sleeping very well. I usually sleep for around 12 hours a night at the least 9 hours, i cant sleep more than 6 hours and its a broken sleep at that..

I may be having a scan either monday or saturday after convincing my partner although he just doesnt seem bothered over having a scan but i think its because he doesnt want anything to be wrong and have to go through the heartache again.

He thinks its ridiculous to pay for private scans and wants me to wait until 12 weeks to go to an nhs scan but i dont think its registered that i have to see a midwife first to get an nhs scan🤣🤣

Hes a bit dosey at times🫠🤣

So hes agreed with either Monday or saturday!!!! So i'll get to see my wriggler sooner. Im SO scared.

I had to tell my partner yesterday that its okay going for a scan at 12 weeks and saying everything will be okay from there, but i had to remind him that his sister had her miscarriage after she had her 12 week scan as they said baby hadnt grown since 10 weeks and now i think its hit him that everything is not all it seems🙃

Private scans are £65 too!!! Which is more expensive than what i paid in august last year! I know august seems like 10 years ago but jheeze!

Feel like imma have to sit on the streets begging for money like a spice head getting money together for their drugs🫠 🤣

Im torn at what to do🙄 theres a football match on saturday too and the teams at home, the stadium is BANG across the road from the scan place🙃

So do i go monday on my day off or do i just go saturday and of course i'll be driving there so traffic will be bad on either day as monday the scans are from 3.30 and saturday the match is at 3 and would be around the time we could go as my partner is working in the morning🫠

Any suggestions would be SO helpful right now, feel like i need anti anxiety medication right now, im scared and excited about this scan and idk what to do if i get to the scan place and she tells me something isnt right and i have to go to EPU🙄

@LER2023 good that some symptom have reappeared, that must be reassuring! Yep private scans are expensive, but if you feel it offers you reassurance sooner then I reckon go for it. Maybe Monday would be better to avoid all the football traffic? How far along will you be then?

I've spoken to GP this morning and she has prescribed some anti nausea meds (after quite a bit of discussion!). She initially said it's the sign of a pregnancy progressing and I had to say actually I've had 3 previous miscarriages and always had nausea so it's not in any way reassuring for me and I'm finding the whole thing anxiety inducing. Anyway, I really hope this helps. She did offer to sign me off if I need, but I think I'll go crazy with day time tv for company! Fingers crossed

@LER2023 that’s reassuring that you have some symptoms back! I’m almost 6 weeks and only symptoms I have so far are sore boobs and occasional cramps.
I know how bad football traffic can be, so I’d go Monday if it was me, just because I’d be stressing about being late!

@Hopingrae how strange the GP said that about the nausea, I thought it was common knowledge that you can still feel sick after miscarrying. Glad you got some meds, hope you start to feel a bit better.
How many weeks were you when the nausea hit? I can’t remember when it was with my last pregnancy, I think it was around 6 or 7 weeks so waiting for it to happen to me again

@Hopingrae id be 10 weeks exactly i believe. So fingers crossed.

How can a doctor say that🙄 bit of a ridiculous and an unthought of thing to say to someone!!

Sometimes doctors are just idiots, they crawl through their doctorate still not knowing 100% what theyre actually talking about. Because they go off textbooks and not actual scientific facts or human experiences. Bit of a dick way to practice (sorry for my bad language🫠)

I hate seeing doctors because they always say 'your symptoms dont mean this...' YES THEY CAN MEAN THIS.

i once went because i struggle with my periods, i usually bleed like im having a mc, so i lose a hell of a lot of blood and clots and the pain is usually pretty bad. As a person who suffers with chronic pain anyway, you kinda learn to live with it. But it got so bad, i had it when i was younger and they prescribed me some 'pms pain relief' so when i went back and said all my symptoms are swaying towards endometriosis.. they was like no... no its not.. theyre swaying towards bad periods which is normal, we wont send you for tests because 1. Its too much money and 2. Its painful

I suffer with pain!!! A bit more pain to get a diagnosis isnt going to harm anything and money? I pay into the government every month to provide me healthcare when i need it.

The argument ended where i had to just go about my day and act like i dont suffer every time i have periods, it makes me poorly having periods. I had to go on the pill 24/7 to stop any bleeding because that helps people with endometriosis and it did help a little. Just sometimes the break through bleeding was horrendous, i bled for 8 weeks at one stage and was told i have cervical erosion and thats the cause for it, i had a swab and was told it wasnt the big C.. which was fab, but they said i had tissue and cells growing outside of my uterus.. but thats not endometriosis But again they go off textbooks and thats it.

Take doctors with a pinch of salt. Half of the time they dont understand and dont know what theyre talking about.

Sending you MN hugs x

@LER2023 i think Monday too. Then you aren’t worrying about traffic!!

we had our scan today. In the same room and with the same sonographer who we saw when we were told of our MMC, we haven’t seen her since as been scheduled with other people. My face dropped, but there they were. Two babies with two little heartbeats. A lot of crying and still a lot of disbelief that we are here. Being discharged felt like a fab feeling and now we are keeping our heads down to get through to mid April for our 12 weeks. A little bit earlier in dates, thought I was 8 weeks turns out I am 7+1 but hopefully all growing well.

thanks again for the fab support from this group. ❤️

2 little babies!!! Thats so exciting!!! Congratulations on both!! Thats absolutely amazing!! X

@30somethingttc aw how lovely and I hope very reassuring for you!! On to the next countdown for the 12 week scan, wishing you a safe onward journey. Are you telling people yet?

@Figtree11 I think mild nausea started around 6 weeks and really ramped up at 6+5 a few days ago. Feels like a continous bad hangover. Blurgh. With DS it went on until about 14 weeks, that feels like a long way away if I make it that far! DS not been sleeping well the last few night which isn't helping.

@LER2023 I think the gp was prepared with her ready made answer before she spoke to me, which I kind of get as they're so over worked, but it feels so impersonal and like they don't really care. My DH said not to take it personally. At least she listened in the end! Not sure what I would have done if she'd said no!

Oh my goodness twins! That's amazing!

I am secretly panicking that I am going to find out it's twins too - not that I wouldn't love them but I run a business and I have no real idea how I am going to have any sort of mat leave. I had some sort of misfire this month I conceived, my BBT didn't rise the day after predicted ovulation with a LH surge, then 2 days after feeling ovulation pains and cramps, I got more EWCM and the cramps again!

It was definitely a shock @MrsScotland.
I am going to definitely have my work cut out for me and I can’t wait!

Thank you @Hopingrae we have told our parents and I have told my two closest friends but will probably keep it to that maybe until end of April / start May when I’m 13/14 but might just do it as and when we see people. It’s hard to know when is right!

Wow @30somethingttc twins! Amazing, how lovely.

@Hopingrae I hope you start to feel better soon. Hoping the sickness for me doesn’t kick in this time, but to be fair it wasn’t too bad.

Time seems to be going slowly - will be coming up to 2wks this weekend since my BFP. Feels like a lifetime to go until I hopefully get to 12wk stage

@MrsScotland how are you doing? I think we're at a similar stage?? It's hard to keep track, I'm 7+1 today.

@Sez281 so I had it yesterday morning at 8.30 and they said a week so fingers crossed soon. I’m trying not to worry about the results instead I’m thinking this time next week I will hopefully know what I am having so I’m trying to turn it into something positive.

@LER2023 scans are such a personal thing aren’t they. But I think the sad thing about being on a thread like this is that they only provide you for reassurance for the time that you are in there. Having said that, give me all the scans that I can get because I need to know that everything is ok.

@30somethingttc excellent news I’ve got tears for you!!

im worried because other that my nips and my boobs in general I feel amazing and I don’t like that which is very ironic isn’t it.