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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

very dodgy subject....my friend is picking sex of baby, in the worst way imaginable

204 replies

jiggerypop · 21/02/2008 15:06

A very close friend of mine is preparing to get pregnant for the forth time, she has 3 gorgeous girls and is desperate for a boy, she wanted a boy each time and although she has always wanted 4 kids she intends to find out with an early gender test (2 different types to be as sure as she can be) then a cvs to confirm it, she says she will abort if it is not a boy.
she is a very lovely woman, she is a great mum to her girls but she is so depressed at the thought of never having a son.
I am so sad about her plan, it is heartbreaking because I know she will do it and she will have to live with the guilt if she goes ahead with it. she will do it all privately, I have tried to encourage her to go to look into sex selection abroad but she says she doesn't have the money....

I won't dump her as a friend, I just can't believe what she is about to do

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 21/02/2008 19:13

To whoever said that having an abortion after having children is different and more difficult, i have to disagree.

Why would it be any harder?
i have had terminations before and after kids and they made me feel no different!

kayzisbroody · 21/02/2008 19:15

I cant believe this really. I have a ds and yes I'll openly admit I would like a girl this time round and we're trying the Shettles method. But I found out I was expecting a boy I would be just as happy. As long as its a healthy happy baby I dont care.

needmorecoffee · 21/02/2008 19:16

And what will she do if the baby isn't 'perfect'? Maybe disabled? Smother it at birth?
Gawds. I'm still totally shocked and also wondering how her little girls feel

CrushWithEyeliner · 21/02/2008 19:17

it obviously won't be an early abortion

Jesus this Woman is sinking to new depths, I must have been living in fairy land to not even cross my mind that someone in their right mind would do this. She is sick, sick.

kayzisbroody · 21/02/2008 19:20

Someone may have already said this but what if the scan is wrong?
It does happen.

KerryMum · 21/02/2008 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilRedWG · 21/02/2008 19:22

Am I hearing this correctly?

She will abort the baby if not a boy!

She doesn't think this is wrong?

And she's not even going to consult her husband?

Bloody hell! Not only is it illegal to abort for these reasons, it's bloody awful! You say there is nothing you can do, you can convince her to discuss it with her husband.

What she is planning on doing is murder! And I am pro-choice! She doesn't bloody deserve children!

AitchTwoOh · 21/02/2008 19:25

she's nuts. how would she do it anyway, by the time she'd had CVS she'd be about 15-18 weeks, wouldn't she? she'd keep it a secret, have the tests and then convince doctors that it would be counter to her mental health to have the child..?

liahgen · 21/02/2008 19:30

maybe this lady should pop over to the Sands website where she would see lots of "lovely ladies " with real problems.

Totally disgusting. Took me 9 yrs to get my first child, now have 5 and 2 angel babies.

Selfish cow.

seasidemama · 21/02/2008 19:33

That's what I thought Aitch - but further down the thread someone said you can go privately, citing social reasons, and no-one would be any the wiser.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 21/02/2008 19:41

To whoever said that having an abortion after having children is different and more difficult, i have to disagree.

Why would it be any harder?
i have had terminations before and after kids and they made me feel no different!
By kayzisbroody on Thu 21-Feb-08 19:15:46

That was me. You seem to be proud of the fact you didn't feel differently.

KacyB · 21/02/2008 19:43

I am shocked that someone could be so cold blooded about it, TBH.

I can't believe these tests she is considering are particularily reliable...... what on earth is she going to do if the test says it's a boy and her 20 week scan shows that it's not?????????????????????????????????

I think you should put her in touch with a support group who can talk through her decision.......

twospecialgirls · 21/02/2008 19:43

i think she is discusting and should be happy she can get preg at all

allgonebellyup · 21/02/2008 19:44

NAB - no not proud of it.
Just dont see what you are implying here.

That i should be more upset after having kids? That i am perhaps uncaring?

allgonebellyup · 21/02/2008 19:45

by the way you got my name wrong

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 21/02/2008 19:46

When you haven't had a baby and you have an abortion you cna't possibly understand what it is you are terminating, imo.

When you have a child, you know exactly what it is you are aborting.

I never said you were uncaring. Your post just read as it made no difference to you and why should it. That is all.

NumberSix · 21/02/2008 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 21/02/2008 19:48

social reasons, really? gosh, that is disgusting. the docs and nurses must hate themselves.

allgonebellyup · 21/02/2008 19:49

If you have a termination at six weeks, there is barely a baby, it is merely a baked bean at that stage. That didnt upset me after having kids.
Whereas having an abortion at, say, 20weeks would seem horrid to anyone, childfree or not.

seasidemama · 21/02/2008 19:53

I don't know that that's true Allgonebellyup - at least not for everyone. I had a reasonably early abortion (a decision I regret deeply and am acutely ashamed of) and I don't think I will ever fully recover from it.

scorpio1 · 21/02/2008 19:55

it depends on the individuals perception of when life starts IMO - my idea appears different to yours, for example.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 21/02/2008 19:55

I just stated my opinion, as you have yours, agbu.

WorzselMummage · 21/02/2008 20:04

She sounds like a dispicable bitch..

allgonebellyup · 21/02/2008 20:06

(how can you get truly upset over a baked bean? its just a lump of cells.)

Anyway, yes we all have our own opinions which we are all entitled to.

allgonebellyup · 21/02/2008 20:07

OMG i just tried to delete that post.

Truly sorry if anyone reads it and is insulted.

Can it be deleted, MNTowers???