What do you mean I could loose the baby???
Here's how this situation will pan out if you let him keep on sponging off you and don't kick him out:
You stay with him.
His name is on the BC because he insists on it and because you feel guilty and you believe a baby needs a father in her life, and because this is the easiest way to deal with the conflict he creates over this issue.
You return to work earlier than you want to because you are running out of money and he still hasn't found a job.
He becomes the full time SAHP just by sitting on his arse and refusing to do anything about the money situation and you need childcare.
You end up doing all the housework and all the night feedings anyway because he is too lazy and fragile to be bothered with any of that.
You come home every day to piles of dishes, piles of laundry, a toddler glued to the TV eating junk because he is too lazy and too fragile to be a proper parent.
You are exhausted.
In two years, maybe less, maybe more, you will finally start understanding that you are stuck with someone who has zero respect for you or for himself either.
You decide to leave.
However, he claims that he is the full time carer for the baby and therefore he should stay as the SAHP, in the baby's home, and you have to move out.
Because you have a job, you have to pay him child support and you can see your baby at weekends.
The person who stays home with the baby, even if it's because he is too lazy and up himself to get a job, gets the baby during the week.
It is assumed by family courts there is a bond between the sahp and the baby.
You would have to prove that he attempted to murder the baby in order for him to be stopped from doing this, and even if he did try murdering the baby he would still have a fighting chance of 50-50, because the family courts are incredibly blind to the effect on babies and children of horrible parenting and even outright violence on the part of men.
It is assumed by the family courts that the person with the job pays child support.
If you want to avoid this, you need to get him out of your home ASAP, before the baby is born.
And yes, the link to the Women's Aid page is appropriate.
What was the Anger Management course for, @Babybellaboo?
The story he has spun you about not being allowed to see his son doesn't ring true. Fathers are granted visitation rights if they make any effort at all to get them, regardless of how abusive or useless they are.
Love, you are not stupid for not knowing much about this side of relationships. I would bet any money that the majority of people responding to your posts here have learned all that they know the hard way, and that they were all full of love and optimism setting out on the relationships that taught them the hard lessons. I know I was anyway. My exH had different issues than yours did, but I struggled with the fear of ending it, the fear of looking like a failure and feeling that it was a reflection on me. Looking back now, I kick myself.
You sound like a real go-getter, a really capable and bright woman.
It is fantastic that the house you're in is in your name.
You can ask Women's Aid for their help getting him out.
Please call WA asap, 0808 2000 247, or you can send an email to their contact address.
Either way, they will call or contact you back. If you leave a phone message, you need to leave a time and day when their phone call can safely be taken by you and you can talk with a counselor.
Emailing might be more private for you.
Ask them how you can have him removed from the home.
Tell them you have a few months in which you want to get this done (before the baby arrives).