Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

[Avocuddles]

New thread placeholder!

Hopping on! Thanks for the new thread :)

Thank you 😘

Thanks for the new thread @Avocuddles, can't believe we're onto number 5!

Copying over the latest roll call....

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 29wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 28wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 29wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 28wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 27wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 19wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 19wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)

Updating my weeks :)

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 29wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 28wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 29wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 27wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 19wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 19wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)

Thanks for the new thread @avocuddles!

I'm feeling rough today. Had my whooping cough vaccine yesterday and I feel exhausted and my arm is super sore.

@Knotemma Enjoy the babymoon! I'm really hoping to get in a weekend home to Ireland before I can't fly, but it's looking a bit dubious at the moment with quarantine measures.

@MOGMOGMOG85 Spend your money how you want and ignore the unwanted opinions of others! We've all come a long way to get to this point on our pregnancy journeys. Buy the things for your baby that you want to buy. While we are all still anxious we have to allow ourselves to enjoy some of the prep! xx

Hairy day today after bump didn’t have his normal 5 am party and I couldn’t get him to wriggle. He’s like clockwork normally so called MAC at 6.30 and was in being monitored by 7.15. Heard his heartbeat for the first time which was lovely, and I’ve recorded it but glad I went in - as it was he slept in until almost 9 and then started moving as normal. Blood tests from last week show I’m anaemic so my next growth scan has been brought forward to next week (30 was) as a precaution but all seems fine. Slowly peeling myself back down from the ceiling.

As far as baby stuff goes I’ve spent a small fortune. I’ve bought whatever I wanted and probably could have got cheaper versions, or bought stuff I don’t need but none of us should feel guilty for buying stuff - after what we’ve all been through it’s nice to be able to finally buy something for these longed for babies. I’ve got overexcited, and more than likely won’t need 4 different types of nipple balm but I’ve got it if I do 😂. I can’t wait for the nursery to be painted (OH doing next week) and furniture to arrive ready for me to fill and organise.

Thanks for the new thread. Couldn't be without you lot!

I've been a bit low the last couple of days which is not like me at all. I'm 14 weeks and they think last time we lost the baby at 17 weeks but finding out at the 20 week scan. I'm very aware I'm coming up to our danger time but still weeks away so can't go on moping about till the 20 week scan.
I'm also sure there's hormones making me crazy too.

I have zero motivation or enthusiasm for anything but have to try and hide all that whilst entertaining the two year old. I'm not moaning but god I'm sooooo tired.

Anyway moan over. I'm sat eating strawberry laces which makes me very happy 😃

I’d be lost without this group!

@Littlegoth glad everything was okay!

@footprintsintheslow Hope you’re feeling okay, i understand how anxious you must be feeling.

Regarding people commenting on how much we’ve spent on this baby, I deffo find it really annoying! We’ve had lots of ‘oh you can’t have needed much’ which obviously we didn’t really as we already had pretty much everything for lily. However we had to start from scratch again with clothes and the nursery as everything was pink and some things I just wanted to keep as ‘Hers’. I’ve found buying boy bits as I go really therapeutic so I’ve filled a wardrobe again! Oops! We’ve also just had a Snuza hero delivered, which is a little breathing alarm. Was pricey, but I think it will be really helpful in calming my anxiety. I think a part of me will always be watching out for his breathing due to Lily’s condition meaning she couldn’t, there’s just that anxiety still that makes me worry ‘what if they missed something this time’. My mum says I didn’t need to waste money on it as he’ll be fine (again, annoying) but hopefully that gives me peace of mind!

@Anon20something it's so annoying when people just dismiss your fears with comments like "it'll be fine". We all hope it'll be fine but of course we've all experienced the worse case scenario too so we are aware of the alternatives.

@footprintsintheslow One of my ‘friends’ (we haven’t spoken since before lockdown and I can’t say it’s bothered me tbh!) actually said ‘I’ve got two kids and mine are fine, stop worrying this one will be fine’.... no words! Got to just try and keep positive but it is so scary and so live changing what we’ve all experienced!

Hoping to join in, I was a lurker on the TTC after loss group, but have been lurking here for the past 8 weeks or so. I had my 12 week scan yesterday so feeling slightly braver. We lost our DD last Aug at 16 weeks so coming up to the danger zone.

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 29wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 28wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 29wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 27wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 19wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 19wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 12 weeks (due 24/01/2021)

@Littlegoth glad everything was ok, definitely best to go and get checked out.

@footprintsintheslow sorry that you're having a tough time. These types of "anniversary" are especially difficult, are you able to get any extra support from the midwife/epu? Might just give you some reasurance maybe?

@Anon20something people are so insensitive. It drives me to distraction, you buy whatever the hell makes you feel more confident and safe. After everything you've been through if a high tech monitor makes you feel better then where is the harm???

@turquoisebaby gentle congratulations and welcome. If you've been lurking you probably know that we're pretty open, no holds barred and very supportive here. I've said it many times this pregnancy but I have no idea how I'd have coped without this lovely group of ladies during the last 6 or 7 months. I speak to you lot more than I do my friends when it comes to pregnancy stuff, it's wonderful to be somewhere where people just get it

@Knotemma Definitely! My baby so I’ll buy him what I like, and after everything I think we both need to be indulged on a little! Goes for us all, buy whatever you want for your babies!

@turquoisebaby you’re so welcome here! Hope your scan yesterday brought good news and was a little reassuring. Like someone has just said, those anniversaries and milestones are so tough, so sending lots of love and positive vibes your way!

I'm 7 weeks tomorrow after losing my little girl in March and very anxious with very little symptoms so far I'm on progesterone pessaries and hoping they are masking symptoms.

@Baileys123 so sorry for your loss ❤️ Have you had your booking appointment with your midwife? She should be able to point you towards some support and be there to listen, as we all are here. It may not make you feel any better, but I’m 30 weeks on Saturday and I never had any symptoms at all this time round! Every pregnancy and body is different, not everyone gets lots of symptoms. X

Thank you x Every day I'm pregnant is a bonus. I've an early scan booked for next Wednesday so need to get that far. Also my due date was this Sunday too

@Baileys123 due dates are incredibly hard to face and we all understand. Do you have any plans for the day?

@AnxiousLady1 and @Littlegoth good for you, buy what you want to, and Little goth at least your nipples will def be soothed haha!!!

@Anon20something I'm quite speechless. I'm getting annoyed about peoples opinions just on the general basis of that it's my baby and none of their business, but having gone through what you've gone through to think that people are still making assumptions like you should use all the stuff originally bought for Lily as though it's totally interchangeable... and omg "he'll be fine"!!!!! And your friend saying stop worrying!!!! I'm actually fuming just thinking about it. For goodness sake I'm sure you work hard every single day to moderate your anxiety and I bet you've made massive massive steps in your life! The fact you're not just a pile of jelly on the floor is a win! And yet people still will just focus on one little thing that you're anxious about as if it would even be humanly possible to have no anxiety at all after your previous experience :( it sounds like a breathing monitor is a really sensible way to try and control one aspect of your anxiety for goodness sake. Sorry I'm outraged.

@turquoisebaby congratulations on your scan, and welcome to the group. It's so hard coming up to that danger zone, but this thread is for listening to peoples worries so you can get it off your chest xx

@Baileys123 welcome to the thread. I'm so sorry for your previous loss. Those early weeks are torturously slow and we all went through it. Do feel free to vent on here if it gets too much. Good luck for your scan coming up.

Thanks everyone we are going to the beach on Sunday. I will update after my scan

@MOGMOGMOG85 Yes! Thank you! I still get annoyed thinking about it, I do feel like people don’t quite understand that some things are just hers, and equally baby boy deserves to have things of his own - they are two different children! Don’t get me wrong too, most days I am a load of jelly inside, but thank you for being so kind! I made a promise to lily when I left her that id be strong so I’m really trying everyday but anxiety is so so rough at the minute!

@turquoisebaby @Baileys123 welcome to both of you...gentle congratulations and sticky bean vibes to you both xx

I had a bit of a panic moment yesterday...was stood doing washing up and felt liquid trickling down my leg, thought for a second my waters had gone early. My hubby looked terrified haha! Thinking it may just have been some water from washing up that had splashed or maybe a bit of sweat as I was really warm at the time (gross I know sorry!) But have been paranoid ever since. It doesn't seem to have gotten worse but keep thinking I feel damp...I know that discharge can increase at this time too though so might just be that. If it does it again or feels like it's getting worse I'll ring hospital but think it was just me having a moment...did end up packing more into my hospital bags just in case though 😂

@SammiLou2312 Oh god! Bet that was scary! Glad all is okay! 30 weeks tomorrow and I keep having Braxton hicks and (sorry if it’s TMI!!) something that looks like a mucuous plug, as well as cramping yesterday and I convinced myself I was going into early labour 🙈 quick phone to my midwife and she said it was totally normal especially for someone who has a term birth 11 months ago! Nothing else today! I’ll probably stress myself into it haha!

Also popped on to share this quote from Zoe Clark-Coates (her books are brilliant btw) for anyone having a rough day. This group is filled with the bravest women and helped me so much, so thank you xxxxx