Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

[Avocuddles]

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@Knotemma thank you for sharing your amazing story - after our long journey in this thread it's amazing that Samuel and India are here and share a birthday! Your birth story was certainly a dramatic, TV style one to remember, but I'm so glad all worked out well and you got many of the things you hoped for. I know it's so cliches but they really are worth all of the traumas we experience during both pregnancy and labour, and indeed the rubbish after pains that no one tells you about....

We're still in hospital but hoping to go home today. Feeding has been a struggle as I'm producing very little colostrum, in day 1 this wasn't too much of an issue as she wasn't particularly hungry but yesterday it made her very angry - the midwives were all laughing saying she’s got the attitude of a teenager at a day old! In the end I expressed all I could by hand and on a hospital grade machine but it was still not enough for her to settle so the midwife cup fed her a little bit of formula away from me (so she won’t fall out of obsessive love with my boobie!) and then swaddled her and she’s been asleep ever since, I think she was exhausted but just too excited by her new discovery of boob suckling even if it wasn’t giving her any nutrition! I've now had almost 6 hours of sleep which was so desperately needed and am in position where I'm happily cuddling her again just feeling overwhelmed by love rather than like I could collapse at any moment. Fingers crossed for no more mummy meltdowns today!

@Anon20something hope you made progress yesterday and he's out of the SCBU or at least on his way. It must be a tough time for you but hopefully he's getting all the care he needs and you'll be home together soon, have been thinking of you both.

@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby has arrived
@Knotemma 39wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 37wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 38 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Avocuddles Baby Girl arrived 17/9/20 💕
@Sunflower1608 32wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 36wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth (csection booked 09/09/20) BOY baby boy has arrived
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 37wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 36wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 33wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 32wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 31wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 29wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 29wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 23 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby** 19 weeks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Girls hope it's OK for me to join in, I have had 2 losses one in Nov 2018 at 10+4 and second one in Oct 2019 at 6+5 I just found out yesterday I'm pregnant and I have to say my anxiety has set in I'm on knicker watch and I'm a bag off nerves. Talking to other girls on the same boat really does help. Thank you for reading. 💚💚💚

@Avocuddles so glad you got that precious sleep and baby girl has settled too after a feed. We just had our antenatal breastfeeding session today and it stressed me out so much - the pressure to get it right! I've gone away and thought about it all day and I think for me nipple shields are going to be the right choice from day 1 (I have a phobia and the idea of unprotected feeding scares me so much there's no way I'm going to get that much needed oxytocin!), also I'm def going to be up for formula here there and anywhere needed to take the pressure off me. My goal will be to feed some/as much as I can manage naturally and top up with formula and I'm fine with that. Sounds like your'e doing amazingly well for baby India! Glad the midwives encouraged a little formula to allow you both to relax and rest before continuing on your journey :)

@Babyghirl welcome to the thread and many congratulations on your BFP. So sorry about your previous losses. We have all been there in one way or another and happy to support you in these early days of pregnancy which we all know can be the worst time and not the magical experience that many assume it is.. this thread is almost full now and people have moved onto the next thread, might be a good idea to head over there and introduce yourself, link below xx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4026705-Pregnant-after-Loss-and-Dreaming-of-Rainbows-6

@Avocuddles I rather confusingly duplicated the 'Dreaming of Rainbows' thread 6 and then decided to re-name it so it could be used as the post-grad thread - here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4027273-Rainbow-Babies-New-Mums-Support-Thread-1

Well we're not going home today as this morning they diagnosed India as being jaundiced and slightly over the threshold for requiring treatment so she's spent the day (and will be spending most of the night) under the special sun lamp working on her tan. My plans to try to spend as much as possible with her on the breast have therefore gone out of the window though I've used the hospital pump a few times today in an effort to see if it gets production going (the answer to which has been a firm NO so far.....) whilst giving her formula feeds to ensure she gets what she needs. It's not been the first few days I anticipated and it's certainly been hard only having my DH permitted to visit 1hr a day but I feel beyond grateful to have her here. Will go say hi on the 'grads' thread now, it's awesome that we reached a place where so many of us have made it there or are getting close the meeting our rainbows.

@MOGMOGMOG85 great attitude! I think having an open minded, balanced approach to feeding is definitely the wisest otherwise you're only setting yourself up for potential mental anguish at a time when you really don't need it. I know a lot of friends have had a tough BF journey so I'm going to try to persevere if I can but I also know I need to do what's right for my daughter and in the short term formula feeding is definitely it 

@Babyghirl welcome! I really hope that your rainbow baby is on the way. I'm a 'third time lucky' success story which will hopefully provide some reassurance for you, I set up the initial strand of this thread back in January when I found out I was pregnant for the third time after two losses at around 8 weeks, and just two days ago gave birth to a daughter. It's such a welcoming group of women who will really understand exactly what you're going through and no question is off limits. Best of luck to you!

@Avocuddles
Thank you hearing that helps once you have had a loss you think history is going to repeat it self. I can't lie I'm living on my nerves lol and wishing I could go to sleep and wake up at 12 weeks lol 💚💚💚

@Avocuddles i had a similar experience - baby had low sugars day 1 and spent an additional night for that - just about to go home when he went orange! My colostrum vanished on day 3 and baby had already become dehydrated and lost weight. We’ve been running an arduous feeding schedule since then - I had no sleep night 4/5. I am currently ‘cluster’ pumping and topping up - I expect to be doing this for at least the next 8 weeks (hopefully less but trying to be realistic) and at the end of that hopefully I’ll be producing enough to fully breast feed. If not, I’ll keep trying but fed is better than not fed and I’ll know I gave it my best try. Hope you both feel better soon.

I think I remember you being local to me but can’t remember if you were a different hospital. I was lucky to have a super student midwife who was a godsend - as like you say 1 hr a day with partner is so little, and we missed out on that every day we ‘almost’ came home so hope you are finding your team as helpful x

Oh my god I can't believe how much has happened in the last few days! I have seen there are new threads but want to post congrats on here in case you have moved to new mums thread!

@Avocuddles very jealous you have jumped the queue 😂 your baby girl is just beautiful! Keep on with the feeding I'm sure you will be fine. I'm so so happy for you that your girl is finally here 💕

@Littlegoth congrats on your successful section, hope you are enjoying motherhood at home and look forward to catching up on the new mum thread when I make it there!

@Knotemma wow how eventful! What an amazing story. So happy you avoided too much interference and your little BOY is here safe and sound!

I'm so excited now!!
See you all on the new thread(s)

Hi all! I've been an emotional wreck the past couple of days but finally taking a breather.

It’s been a tough, emotional rollercoaster few days. India’s jaundice is better now and her blood tests all back to ‘normal’ so we were so hopeful that we’d be heading home at last today, but unfortunately when they weighed her last night there was concern that she’s lost far too much weight - a frankly impossible 24%! I’m not surprised that she's lost weight as I myself said for the first couple of days that I didn’t feel that there was anything coming through my breasts at all, but none of it made any sense to the doctors when she seems healthy and well hydrated with nothing of concern in her bloods now that the jaundice is sorted. There was some confusion over her birth weight so basically it turns out that no one is really clear on how much she has actually lost - what a farce! Her initial weight in the theatre was under 6lb 10oz but they said that there was an issue with those scales so went and reweighed her using different equipment which was when her weight was agreed as a somewhat higher 8lb 1! The doctors now suspect her actual birth weight WAS sub 7lb in which case her weight loss would be a perfectly normal 7%. Either way I felt like a bit of a failure for not having been sustaining her properly. We turned a corner breastfeeding wise yesterday but I gave her bottled formula throughout the night to ensure she was definitely getting enough, then she's spent pretty much the entire day today on the boob so fingers crossed her weigh in tonight will show improvement. I really hope we'll be on the way home in the morning, I'll have been in for a whole week and am desperate to spend time with my husband and crack on with family life....

@Littlegoth I'm at LGI.... I've hired a medela pump online for when we get home on the assumption we might need to follow a similar approach to you, she's been cluster feeding constantly today but I'd like to pump too to know for sure what I'm producing after the stressful experience of the past few days.