@marmitecheesetoast Oh. My. GODDDDDD I'm having an aneurysm that is so blooming awful what your friend said!!!! Maybe its better he died????!!!! FFS sounds like someone who is not good at all with confronting difficult subjects and needs to put a positive spin on YOUR babies death to make HER feel better!!!!! The generic whatsapp kinda confirms it. Up to you if you reply, you absolutely don't have to. I think it sends a really strong message. However if you feel you need/want to reply you're definitely able to say exactly how awful it made you feel to receive that comment. It may not end well, she may not react well to being told what a moronic thing she did, but its down to you if you would find it more helpful to say something. We had a big discussion on here recently about whether to be honest with people or not about miscarriage etc (in the context of total strangers asking flippant questions like "is it your first") but generally came to the conclusion that its best to do what feels best to you and there is no obligation to make other people feel less uncomfortable about what is essentially your grief not theirs.
@Knotemma thanks for the link - that's pretty straightforward then, I'll prob use the same phrase I used last time "Well that would be direct discrimination against a pregnant woman then", this time with the added bonus of if I signed something it would be concrete contractual evidence of direct discrimination. I'm glad I am able to check these things out and get invaluable support on here in understanding things - many women across the country might just accept what they're told because they don't know different.
@Whiffle77 thanks, I think it is just my boss, which is a lot easier to deal with than if it was structural. I became very upset about the antenatal appointments thing because I was told it was coming from higher up (which was a lie) and felt like I was being targeted, which to say the least made me feel very insecure and worried for my job security. Sorry about the fibroids, its a lot to take in isn't it! I do think its funny that we're the only 2 who have problematic fibroids on here and we're so close in dates! I'm still hoping for a vaginal birth with mine cos they are high up, but am feeling anxious about the possibility of pph. The first time they told me I freaked out, but since then I have spoken to a doctor friend and calmed down. PPH whilst obviously not desirable is also pretty common and most often easily dealt with with IV fluids, much more rarely with a blood transfusion. I feel more calm about it now.
@KerryW87 for me it took 6 months to conceive but then it took me 16 months the first time so I'm obviously not quick. I felt my body was recovering for that time and my hormones were all over the place. They generally say it can take up to 6 months for your body to settle down and for me it was an entire 6 months even with an early loss so don't panic if it seems to be taking time. Also about your tree - that sounds lovely, and this may be unsolicited advice, but as a gardener - it is a difficult time for trees to establish when planted in summer so make sure to give it lots and lots of water to give it a hand. Maybe that's something the whole family can take part in, to be nurturing it xxx