Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

[Avocuddles]

New thread placeholder!

Updating weeks I feel like it's going quicker all of a sudden, It does help I was pushed forward 5 days at scan mind! Welcome @marmitecheesetoast, I remember seeing you on the TTC thread, full time lurker here. And welcome @hypernova to

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 28wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 29wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 27wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 20wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 20wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@MOGMOGMOG85 bloody hell that pub sounds horrific. Are there other houses near you that you can all get together and complain ask hassle the council into immediate action?!

Hi all, sorry I've not been around much over past few days just been mega busy. 30 weeks today which feels like another positive milestone, baby movements have been ramping up (and are frankly uncomfortable at times) and although I STILL struggle to believe that we'll be bringing a baby home within the next few months, it's definitely reached a point when we need to be prepared for the possibility of it! Started online NCT classes last week which were surprisingly good, there are 8 couples and 1 woman going it alone on the group, they all seem nice so hopefully in time we'll be able to actually meet up in person. @didslysquiddlydoo NCT aside I'm with you re putting things off - I also downloaded the PBC pack, watched the first couple of videos then parked it on the grounds of it being ages away! I'm also wondering when to start washing baby clothes and prepping the hospital bag. My next growth scan is at 33 weeks (was supposed be 32 but the consultant is on holiday!) so maybe that will be the time.

@Rachael321 what do the braxton hicks feel like? I don't think I've experience any yet but then again sometimes the bump feels quite tight? You're definitely entitled to moan - just because the finish line is getting closer it doesn't make it any easier, quite the opposite!

Really glad to see some new faces in here (and hope to see more move over from the TTC thread soon). As so many others have said this group of amazing warrior women has been a godsend to us all; our circumstances are all very different but we're all united in understanding just how challenging / terrifying pregnancy after one or more losses can be.

@marmitecheesetoast it's a struggle to find the right words to say about the heartbreaking loss of your DS. It's no surprise that a new pregnancy is a headfck for you, I hope you have plenty of emotional support around you, if you're not already getting mental health support it might be worth reaching out to understand what is available in your local area to help you with some of the incredibly complex and conflicted feelings you are experiencing. This group is also an amazing place to share all of your concerns and fears, we really do have the best listeners on Mumsnet!

@hypernova I've definitely been there with analysing symptoms like crazy. I've definitely learned from here that they can vary so much. I had two losses at 7-8 wks prior to this pregnancy and my symptoms (or lack of) were exactly the same in all three so definitely don't take it as a bad thing if you feel similar. As @Knotemma said try to remember that this is a new egg, new sperm, new pregnancy, and whilst the early days in particular pass SO slowly, hopefully it's not long until your scan will give you some reassurance.

@Sazzy312 I could have written the exact same as you re not allowing yourself to be happy as a way of protecting yourself, I definitely spent my entire first trimester feeling that way and whilst I'm not 100% past it yet (even though my own losses were both quite early) it does ease a little with each positive scan or milestone. I'm glad counselling has been helpful for you, I went for counselling after my second loss / fertility issues and it was definitely a positive experience in terms of helping me to reframe some of my negative thinking. Your scan photo is lovely! Bump pics are a great idea, I've definitely enjoyed watching my body change, think it was about 17-18 weeks before I had a definite bump but i started weekly photos from 12 weeks onwards.

@Whiffle77 when is your scan? I wish you lots of luck and hope that it is a reassuring experience.

@Hagster I'm pretty sure I won't stop feeling uncertain until she's actually born. The thought of having only 8 weeks left at work is strange and I don't think I've quite come to terms with it yet.
Bump comments (other than 'what a lovely bump') are so rude as far as I'm concerned. I imagine most of us will have some bump or weight based anxiety at some point - fretting over being too big or too small is natural, and we don't need others to add to that!

@MOGMOGMOG85 the situation with the pub sounds like a nightmare and definitely not what you need at the moment! The decibel counter sounds like a good idea, and hopefully the council will be able to act quickly to bring them in line. Keep us posted with how you get on....

Weeks update time....

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 27wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 20wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 20wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@MOGMOGMOG85 congratulations on half way! That's a massive milestone. On the pub front get on to the council straight away, preferably while they're doing it. Someone should come straight out with a decibel reader and get them told! If it happens again today if you can do so without being obvious I'd also probably record it on your phone. I used to work in the pub/club industry and I've had inspectors turn up and literally turn the music down/off. If it's unlicensed they could be forced to close and taken to court, they're breaking the law. Sounds like you're having a stressful enough time without the landlord being an arse. If they're part of a chain/brewery I'd also look into complaining to head office, could just be that the current manager is a bit of a d*ck. I understand that the industry has had a hard time, but that doesn't excuse being arsey neighbors.

On a totally different front, DH and I went out last night to do some comet spotting. We're both keen amateur astronomers and I love a bit of astrophotography, though I'm definitely still learning. I feel like Neowise might be one of the few positive stories to tell this year, so thought I'd share a quick photo from last night. If you have clear sky's this week pop out after sunset (about 11ish) or early doors (before 3ish) if you're up for a middle of the night wee and look to the northwest, just below the plow ... It's a once in a lifetime sight and this comet won't be back for 6000 years, so definitely one to tell the kids about!

@Avocuddles its strange, bump goes really hard and tight its like its a fist clenching . Generally not painful but a touch uncomfortable. The fact I constantly feel like I'm on a heavy period doesn't help though!

I think I had a proper contraction last night though, just the one. Had the tightening at the same time as excruciating pain in the same place, lasted just under a minute then vanished.

Also had my first "have my waters leaked or is it just a bit of wee" moment yesterday. OH keeps saying I'm in labour and I'm in denial 😂😂

I need to finish sorting hospital bag ASAP. Its 3/4 done...

Apologies for the brain dump ladies!!

Fab pic @Knotemma

@Rachael321 I've been having Braxton Hicks so nice week 16, but I've only had 1 painful one luckily. They aren't exactly nice though. Sounds like chucking those last few bits in the hospital bag is a good call, just in case. My friends little girl came 21 days early last year, so it can happen, but honestly I think I'm going to go well over, don't know why, just a feeling.

I wet myself throwing up the other night, first time it's happened and I definitely had a moment 😂🙈. Pregnancy is so glamorous 🤷‍♀️

Found you all! Thanks for the thread @avocuddles

@footprintsintheslow Sorry you’ve been low, really stressful time anyway leading up to the 20 weeks scan, its completely understandable that you will be feeling very anxious. Good snacks and the distraction of a toddler will help hopefully x

@turqouisebaby @Baileys123 @sazzy213 @hypernova @marmitecheesetoast Welcome, gentle congratulations on the pregnancies.

@hagster I’m the same weeks as you, and I feel exactly the same. I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to, looking at names, getting the baby things organised, looking after myself, but I still feel really detached. Like I don’t believe it will work out ok. I don’t have an answer, but it’s not just you.

@rachael321 Oh wow, 33 (now 32) days is nothing! The final weeks in the height of summer must not be fun, I think you’re definitely allowed to moan!

I’ve really enjoyed lockdown for not having to hear too many opinions on my pregnancy. With my son I got really sick of it all. I shut anyone down now who tries to tell me how I should be feeling/what I should or shouldn’t be buying/anything else that annoys me. No ones business but mine and my husbands. I’ve never felt the need to pass judgement or give opinions on anyone else’s pregnancy, so don’t know why some people feel the need to pass judgement on what I’m doing. If I’m feeling generous, I just smile and change the subject. If not I just tell people I’m fine with the way I am doing things. At least social distancing means no one has tried to touch my bump yet 

@didslysquiddlydoo I did hypnobirthing in my last (successful) pregnancy. I’ve been thinking loads about the birth since my 17 week consultant appointment as they want to induce me before 40 weeks and I’m from a family of women who have long pregnancies (all over 41 weeks), so I’ve been reading and researching and have 4 pages of questions for my consultant on Wednesday. Really don't want a section (the thought terrifies me much more than a vaginal birth, not sure why), but don't see myself going into labour naturally before 40 weeks, and I have a lot of questions about induction! For hypnobirthing, I would say start anytime, as a lot of it is just practising the breathing and getting it well established in your head how to get into your little bubble. That said, I haven’t done any refresher practising. I think if you do yoga as well, I found it very similar in terms of getting into a zone and breathing well/relaxing.

Updating my weeks, no idea how I've made it to 28 weeks.

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 28wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 29wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 28wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 20wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 19wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 12 weeks (due 24/01/2021)

Ah, missed a page of messages, so used an older list... Here's the latest one:

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 28wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 20wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 20wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

Thank you so much @MOGMOGMOG85 and @Avocuddles yes luckily I’ve been having counselling via Zoom as well as local SANDS support meetings (also on Zoom!) it’s very difficult not feeling like there will ever be a ‘safer point’ for me in this pregnancy and knowing that there is increased risk of a subsequent stillbirth.

The situation with the pub sounds awful @MOGMOG definitely get onto the council and hope it resolved ASAP sounds like the last thing you need right now.

Thanks @turquoisebaby

Glad the online NCT is good @Avocuddles

That’s amazing @Knotemma might have to try and have a middle of the night look!

Ah the absolute glamour of pregnancy @knotemma 🤣

I’ve been having some stabby up the vagina type pains today 🤔 can’t remember if I’ve I had these previously in early weeks or not. I guess I’m probably being much more hyper alert to every symptom this time. Feeling fairly anxious.

@Knotemma I love the photo and if I stay up that late I'll be out. My partner and I are in a very relaxed and informal astronomy club formed by school friends. More pints have been shared than astronomy but I'm in the club.

Bump update at 35+3...

Evening / morning and greetings (again) from the maternity assessment unit....
It's my third heartburn related admission in the past 8 weeks and I'm praying there won't be any more.... Tried to manage it at home but after two hours nothing was improving and still had very intense pains at the top of my bump / across my pain so MAU called me in. Was strapped up to the monitor and thankfully all is good with baby - I think if anything the problem has been compounded by the fact that she's moving so much at the moment and clearly pressing hard against my digestive system as she does so..... Five hours on from the pain starting I'm finally feeling better, possibly thanks to codeine, so hoping to be sent home to my own bed soon. The annoying thing I've learned about the MAU is that they play the radio quite loudly 24 hrs a day - radio 2 on previous visits which was ok, but today's is some kind of r and b / rap show on capital which isn't hitting the spot even whilst on opioids! Therefore my top tip for maternity bag packing is a pair of ear plugs.....
I guess I was lucky as had barely any nausea in my first trimester but the second and third ones definitely haven't been a walk in the park so far!

Bloody hell no one needs r and b on top of everything @Avocuddles

Are you home now? Are you able to stay in bed all day today?

@Rachael321 lovely bump!!

@Avocuddles really stunned they’ve got the radio in that time of night! Jeez. Glad all is ok, such an uncomfortable and annoying thing to have. Hope you can get some rest today x

@Rachael321 bump looks fab!

@Avocuddles that's not been a good night! I'm struggling again with heartburn but not to that extent, just back on the gaviscon as well as the omeprezol which isn't ideal but at least it kind of works. I'm definitely with you that more movement and a head down (ish) baby are contributing. Our MAU is very different to yours, not only was it silent when I went in through the night, they only had a light on at the nurses station, so it was quite a weird experience going in. Everything crossed that your home soon and feeling better!

Thanks for your kind words all. Got home around 2am in the end, slept ok but was sick again this morning so have taken the day off work to just chill out. Apologies if my drugged up post last night didn't make complete sense! Feeling a lot better now just a bit washed out, who knew an Ocado pie could cause such agony! 😆

@Knotemma your MAU sounds a far more chilled out place! Ours seems pretty full on 24/7, yet again it felt like being a fly on the wall of an episode of one born every minute with several women in early stages of labour or being booked in for inductions. The fact they were only 36/37 weeks did make it dawn on me somewhat that it might not be that long until I'm in the same situation so maybe will make a start on that hospital bag prep sooner rather than later!

@Rachael321 your bump is lovely. Its exciting to think we'll be seeing our first babies arrive on this board very soon

@Avocuddles glad you're home and resting up! The heartburn is awful, have you kept a diary of what you've been eating before it and found a common denominator? I thought mine was spicy things, then i thought it was garlic and then thought it was tomatoes! Touch wood ive been avoiding them and been semi ok heartburn wise but still got the gallstone issue to contend with that has no pattern!!!
Scary to think at my 36wk growth scan and consultant appt tomorrow they are going to talk more re inducing me because if the gallstones! Thankfully as I'm in Scotland my OH can come to this one and see baba on screen again!

Having another moan today... eyesight!!! Was due my routine test in march as everything shut, sight had been deteriorating from about November but was hanging off until routine appt. Now things are opening again I managed to get an appointment for today.... to be told that a test just now would be a waste, 3rd trimester hormones affect your eyesight so I'd need to go back after baby for another test anyway!!! Grumpy start to my Monday morning!

@Avocuddles we have a PAU separate from the maternity unit, so maybe that's why I had such a different experience. I had to walk through Maternity to get there, but it's through 2 sets of double doors, so no laboring mamas that I saw!

@Rachael321 that's so annoying about your eye test, especially if you're feeling like your vision isn't great. Can't believe that your at the point of talking about how soon you'll be induced. It's lovely that DH will be able to go with you, I'm hoping that we'll be the same in the UK by the time I go for my 35 weeks scan, but I'm not holding my breath if I'm honest

Sorry you've had such a rough time @Avocuddles, glad you're taking the day off. Hope you get some rest today. ♥️

Just updating my weeks, 28 today! Had a midwife appointment this morning, nice to hear the heartbeat but it's quite frustrating that partners still aren't allowed in (not even mask/distanced) when anyone can go to the pub and gym now 🤷‍♀️😒. Are your OHs allowed into your appointments yet?

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 28wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 23wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 20wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 20wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

I'm joining this thread (I think I'm in the right place I'm not great at this) after making a sad-post about my mega anxiety over being pregnant and just like - waiting for my miscarriage
Currently 9w5d watching all my pre-natal everything get cancelled so hitting the credit card to get scan and tests and everything to calm me down. That's coming Wednesday.
And woke up again last night, dreaming I was having what seems like inevitable baby loss, horrid stabbing pains that I think were just wind but Dr Google always tells you the very worst.
Convinced myself this morning I don't feel pregnant any more...
Everyone else is on a emotional rollercoaster right?

@valeriesparx welcome and gentle congratulations. I've definitely been there, those first weeks are so difficult after a loss. Try to remember that today you are pregnant, symptoms mean nothing, some people have them and some people don't and this is a brand new pregnancy with a brand new egg and sperm. I'd avoid testing at this stage, because your HCG will probably be so high that the test can't cope with it and you'll get strange results. Totally understand going to a private scan, make sure you tell them in advance that you've had previous loss, so that they can give you the support you need while you're there

@valeriesparx welcome and gentle congratulations. All of us are on the emotional rollercoaster too, and I think those early weeks are especially hard. You are not alone! I would agree with @Knotemma's advice, and be kind to yourself and if you need people to talk to, we're here. ♥️

Gosh that doesn’t sound good @Avocuddles hope you’ve managed a restful day today!

That’s great your OH can come with you @Rachael321
Agree @Hagster It’s ridiculous! I wonder when/if the rules will change in England?

My nausea has ramped up today. Still very much struggling with thoughts of this baby dying too and thinking well I had this day of pregnancy with my DS but he died so there’s nothing to say I’ll get a baby at the end of this pregnancy this time.

It’s hard being so early days so not really in the system as it were yet. I’ve got a phone consultation later this week with a specialist consultant in stillbirth. It was originally to cover more questions around my DS’s post-mortem but will now include setting a plan for this pregnancy as well. So hopefully after that I’ll feel a bit more like I’ll know what’s happening. Hoping to have a chat with one of the bereavement midwives too. I’ve changed trusts from where I had my son so don’t know this bereavement midwife yet.

Despite feeling really nauseous and exhausted I’m struggling with thinking I don’t deserve to rest/ ask for extra help with my DD because I did all that last time and it came to nothing so I can’t be doing all that again and putting more on DH etc. Does anyone else feel like that?!

Sorry for the massive brain dump, just finding it all hard. Grieving plus pregnancy hormones and PAL anxiety is quite the combination! If anyone has any magic tricks to get through this do let me know 🤪

Hope everyone else is going well

Happy Monday ladies!

Updating my weeks. 24 weeks now. The viability hurdle is a big one. It feels like ages ago since some of you reached this milestone ahead of me, and at the time I thought 'wow, that's so far along, they must be relieved'. Having reached that point myself, I still feel like there is sooooo long to go to get baby here safe, and any sort of relief is short-lived (until the next weird pregnancy symptom or pause in movements!) Speaking of movements, the kicks are definitely getting good and strong now. What a difference a couple of weeks has made. DH managed to feel them for the first time yesterday and was even taken aback by how clearly he could feel them. I'm still trying to not get too hung up on monitoring a pattern just yet (as I was told they generally settle into this by 28 weeks). For now I am always just mindful of making sure I note feeling something every couple of hours.

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 31wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 31wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 30wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 28wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 28wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 24wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 20wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 20wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@rachael321 Can't believe how close you are to that finish line!!! Really looking forward to seeing the first graduates from this group.

@Avocuddles Your heartburn sounds like an absolute nightmare. Are you feeling better today after taking the day off? I've been lucky enough so far, and only really had one occassion recently where it was bad, but not painful. I was totally to blame for that one though as I knew I'd ate way too much way too late in the evning...

@valeriesparx Welcome and gentle congratualtions on your pregnancy. As others have said, we can all 100% relate to the anxiety you are feeling. That whole first trimester I was either miserable from feeling nausea, or miserable from not feeling any nausea. My symptoms fluctuated all the time and I was obsessively prodding my boobs for some sort of reassurance I had a symptom to cling on to. Not that symptoms make any difference really, as many on this group managed to go through entire first trimester virtually symptom free.

@Knotemma I must admit I did gigle a little at your glamourous pregnancy story. Apologies as I know that was not pleasant for you! Are you still suffering a lot with the HG??