@footprintsintheslow thanks for your lovely reply, and omg I laughed out loud at your fake reply of "oh yeah 12 week scan totally sorted me out I'm sooooo relaxed now!". I know these people only want us to be 'happy' and 'back to normal' with our best interests in mind, but when people treat your understandable anxiety as though its some sort of hysterical, womanly over-reaction it just drives me up the wall. So normal, and with so much context! I wish people could just acknowledge how we're feeling, and then we'd probably be the first ones to move on and hold onto something positive. It shows great strength that we're even here trying again so we are in no way frail or weak, just occasionally get put on the back foot by our various awful experiences. My embryo stopped developing at 6 weeks so I can sort of understand why some unthinking people might think it's not such a big deal but at 20 weeks to think some people still don't get it... very ANNOYING! well done for holding your tongue though :) oh and you're so right about the extra loss - I was very aware that there was a huge distance suddenly between me and certain friends who couldn't deal with my miscarriage in what I felt was an appropriate way, and it made me hugely sad, but I also just accepted it because I don't think there was anything I could do. I tried to force myself to be around certain friends so that I didn't feel like I was losing them but it just backfired and was hugely painful for me. I also feel lucky that I may be on the path to having a baby finally and that will definitely ease a lot of my pain - I'm very aware that some people don't get that opportunity.
@tmc14 and @AnxiousLady1 thanks for your kind words, I now def have leave to ease off on worrying until at least 22 weeks, and hopefully the scan will be positive and put me at ease for a good while too. TMC I'm sorry your consultant showed surprise at the lack of movement - its so unhelpful isn't it, and the last person we want to show concern is a medical professional! Wish they'd think carefully how they phrase things unless they have genuine cause for concern of course. Anxious - glad you had a reassuring visit and a strong heartbeat, always very good news! xx
@Whiffle77 and @Knotemma thanks for your replies too! And you're right actually these pregnancy questions are very "normal" and perhaps I should be more prepared for them. It did dawn on me today that if this pregnancy is successful it will only be the very start of people shoving their noses into my parenting skills/my childs development etc etc and saying all sorts of judgemental and infuriating things. My goal as a mother will be to get more and more acerbic with each comment and absolutely slam people down for any bs. Lol. I'm not joking!
@JuniperAndRose "carried away" drives me up the wall, I actually want to scream right now just thinking about how my mum in particular kept using that phrase when she found out I was pregnant again!!!! I do understand what you mean and its a good affirmation - we can love our babies exactly as much and how we want to - or its not even a case of wanting to, its just such a natural thing! Juniper is a brilliant name! Rose is one of my faves though but a lot of my friends who have successfully procreated before I managed to have taken my faves and Rose has gone!
@Anon20something that's beautiful! And it made my heart melt to think of the hair too! Those memories of Lily must be so precious to you. I'm pleased it looks like you have another big, gorgeous, hairy baby on the way! xxx