Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@Shefliesonherownwings I have no words to say how sorry I am, it just be so hard to know that Isla could’ve, and should’ve, been with you now. I’m sure she is looking over her little sibling, and hopefully there will be changes made so that no one else experiences that. What a positive legacy that would be to know she made a difference to someone else’s family. So sorry. I’m glad you have your date and that you’re being looked after so well this time xxx

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm so sorry :( That must be such difficult news to bear when you perhaps felt you were starting to come to terms with things and this is now a whole new situation to process... It definitely makes it worse that it could have been avoidable, just unbearable.

Such great news about your wriggly baby who is going strong though. Only 16 weeks to go, thats amazing xxx

@Knotemma I'd love a glass of stout now. We'll just have to enjoy a dried prune instead lol 😂

Ahhh @Shefliesonherownwings I'm so sorry you are going through such fresh heartbreak, that must be so hard to hear. Hopefully learning will be taken from the findings to improve things. Hope that you are feeling OK today, I'm glad you are getting better support now.

@Knotemma I took floradix for my iron after my MC, and it made a huge difference to how I felt and to my energy levels. I carried on for ages and only recently stopped taking it (not actually sure why I stopped!). So would recommend that if you decide on supplements. I think the liquid ones are meant to be better and easier to digest than tablets.

@MOGMOGMOG85 that is definitely a bump! Mine also feels a lot bigger in the evenings, i assume its because of how much I have eaten all day and some bloating? I am also getting feelings of what I thought were anxiety butterflies or upset stomach, but reading @Avocuddles it is probably baby which feels very overwhelming and exciting. Can't wait to start feeling more.

I feel really big already, need to get a proper pregnancy pillow as the one I bought is terrible - any recommendations? I feel really uncomfortable at night!

I've not bought anything yet but enjoyed reading the clothes chat and getting ideas - I think psychologically I am a way away from letting myself order anything yet though. I do need to buy some more clothes for me though as I am living in unglamorous t shirt dresses and leggings! Any good recommendations for mat clothes also gratefully received

@Whiffle77 I ordered one from amazon it’s the Bamibi one, it’s fab and there’s a little insert to use on the sofa to prop you up too, and it loops together around you to use for feeding, and you can put the insert in to make a nest for Baby. Obviously baby nests/pods aren’t recommended but I plan on using it on the sofa so baby can chill next to me fully supervised and can’t roll. Personal choice of course! But great as a pillow and was £20 I think! Also, ASOS and new look are fab for maternity, as is eBay! I’m currently living in a maternity pair of top shop jeans that are my non-pregnant go to, brand new and only cost me £5! Xx

@Whiffle77 I had a lovely pair of dungarees delivered from Seraphine today. That was my treat to myself. I said I would get them after my anomaly scan.

@Shefliesonherownwings Absolutely shocking to hear the result of the inquest. Awful that you and your DH are being put through further emotional turmoil by this news. As others have said, I can only hope that they have learned from this and the same mistakes won't be made again. Of course, I understand that will be little consolation for you at this point. Xx

Has anyone else been doing the Postive Birthing Digital pack? I bought it a couple of days ago and have started looking at some of the videos. I feel it's one way for me to do some sort of prep for a baby coming!

@AnxiousLady1 I'm about halfway through the Positive Birth Company videos. To be honest whilst the breathing techniques are helpful most of the videos have just wound me up to date - I'm high risk and have no choice other than to have a medicalised, doctor led birth, which she sometimes makes you feel is an awful thing! I'm a big fan of meditation though so will continue to embrace the general concept of hypnobirthing nonetheless.

@Whiffle77 I have one of the 12ft long pregnancy pillows, it's great for propping yourself up in bed though I'm trying to put off sleeping with it as feel like poor DH will be left with about an inch of bed! 😂 I find sleeping with a cushion tucked between my knees definitely helps me to feel more comfortable and maintain a position on my side (though I do still wake up roughly every two hours.....).
Re clothes, I've got a couple of pairs of new look maternity jeans, the over the bump ones are definitely my favourite and the most comfortable, the under the bump ones feel like they're slipping down all of the time. I'd also recommend the maternity leggings from love leggings - nice and thick and very comfortable - Asda / George.com for shorts and Dorothy Perkins and H and M for tops. I've also found that I still wear most of my 'normal' leggings and tracking bottoms / lounge pants under my bump very comfortably. Lockdown has definitely made things easier than if I'd be going into the office.

@Knotemma the hospital took my bloods on Monday and the results were already back, generally looking good and nothing of concern, my iron levels have dropped considerably since the previous bloods but not enough to require supplements yet, though if they drop further by the 31 wk appointment then that will be the next step. Until then I'll add spinach to my shopping list! Bump measured 29cm and I got to hear the heartbeat again which is always reassuring.

Is the bamibi one comfortable @Anon20something ? I have a huge u shaped one which made my neck hurt! Maybe one that shaped would be better. I've been using a pillow between my legs too @Avocuddles which works OK but I'm also waking up loads - maybe I will just wake up loads regardless of what I use?! I feel shattered, I go to bed so early and sleep but I'm waking up loads at the minute.
I'm already loving in love leggings!! Really pleased with them. Lockdown has definitely helped the clothing situation as I have to be really smart for work usually. I do feel like I could do with a couple of bits which aren't quite so slouchy though - I don't know how I am going to go back to real life with jeans and tights and structured clothes 😂 not thought of asos or dotty p actually so will check that out! I did buy some over bump jeggings from Asda which seem OK. I'm probably over estimating how often I will want to wear anything other than leggings to be fair 🙈

@Whiffle77 I bought four of these in different colours, worked out about £6-8 each with delivery and I've honestly lived in them. They're just massive and flowy and comfy. No waistband, no pressure on the bump, basically just a sack. I wear them almost every day to work from home. I had to tie the shoulder straps up a bit, but honestly so glad I got them!

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01EALSS6W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_CJHbFbM4JFCN2?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Ooh @Knotemma they look great!! I've seen a few people recommend some boohoo Jersey dungarees too which look very comfy! Thank you

@Whiffle77 I bought a black pair and and black and white striped pair of dungarees from boohoo. Got one in a 12, which barely fit me by 18 weeks and one in a 14 which totally swamp me even now. They are comfy, but haven't washed very well and I've had to repair a seam, so I'm a touch disappointed. I don't know if I was just unlucky, but the striped pair weren't pattern matched down the front, so looked really daft and I think I only left the house in the once.

I've got a pair of overbump jeans from Gap that are great and also an under bump pair of cropped linen trousers that are comfy, so I'd recommend them for "tidy" bottoms. I managed to get both in the sale, so don't feel like I spent a fortune

So I had my growth scan this afternoon due to gestational diabetes...turns out baby girl is completely breach at the moment (her butt is well and truly lodged in my pelvis right now) which is why she feels really low down and her movements are duller than they should be. She is also measuring bigger than she should be (estimated weight is over a pound more than she should be atm). As it stands, I've to start taking medication to keep blood sugar levels down and will be induced on or before my due date. I have to have another scan in 6 weeks...if she is still breach, they will have to try and turn her manually. If she is still loads bigger than she should be they may induce me earlier. There is also a risk that I will need a c section due to her position / size and she may end up in the neonatal unit for a while after birth. Tad stressed especially given I struggled to see her much with her position and couldn't get any pics but she has a nice strong heartbeat still. Sorry for the long post, think I just needed to get things off my chest x

@Whiffle77 I can also recommend boohoo for maternity clothes. I've also had quite a few nice items from Debenhams. Although I think the best purchase I made was the under bump knickers I bought. They are so comfy and normal pants were killing me by 18 weeks lol

@Avocuddles just watched this video and thought of you

It's from an American doula called Bridget, but she's very positive, does lots about breathing and relaxation but is so balanced on induction, intervention and medicated birth. She might be a bit more up your street and has lots of free resources on YouTube, as well as some stuff you can purchase on her website

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm so sorry about your news. I can't imagine what you're going through. It's so wrong Isla paid the price for mistakes. Heart aches for you

@SammiLou2312 Is there any exercises you can go in the meantime to move her around? I gather the Spinning Babies site is good and has some stuff on there for turning breach position. I also second what you're saying on the maternity knickers. Got a whole bunch weeks ago on Amazon and they were a godsend. I've not been as lucky with bras and measuring from home. The extenders are helping a little though.

@Avocuddles I know what you mean about the Positive Birth videos. Very much promoting home births. I ruled that out early on, but more due to the fact we are in upper level terrace maisonette. Hear everything. I don't think I could look at my neighbours after! Like you however, I like the meditations and the idea of thinking about birth differently. A friend of mine recommended mindfulness to me from the offset, and she is the only person I know who's given me a positive birth story experience (and it was in hospital). She used the ideas from Hypnobirthing and seeing pain as progresssive and a good thing.

@Bellsx 33wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 33wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 28wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 29wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 29wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 28wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 28wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 28wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 28wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 27wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 26wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 26wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 22wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 18wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 18wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 12 wks (due 10/01/21)

@SammiLou2312 I don't know how but I missed your post. I second the suggestion of spinning babies, I've read/heard really good things. Try to remember that they always talk about worst case scenarios and to take it with a pinch of salt. Same with the weight of the baby. I've read peer reviewed papers that suggest the margin for error is anywhere between 6 and 22%... 22% is massive when you're talking about a 5lb baby... It could literally be over a pound either way. I'm not suggesting for a second not to listen to your doctor's or saying that they're wrong. Just that it's still a best guess and you absolutely have a say in what happens xx

@Whiffle77 I've got 3 dresses from boohoo, lightweight and so comfy! Have washed pretty well too. Got over the bump culottes from next that are smart but oh so comfy, I've even dressed them down with converse! Jeans from Dorothy perkins I have both over and under buno and like both. Got a few tops from there too. Other than that I'm living in longer line vest tops. Enough staples to get by really , and all in my original size too

I've seen a couple of exercises that I can try using my birthing ball to try and make her move so going to keep trying those. Otherwise it's just a waiting game. She has 6 weeks to turn so got a little time. Worst case, they will have to try and manually turn her instead...guess its just a case of wait and see what happens x

@SammiLou2312 I'm with you on trying to turn a breech baby!! I think I managed it as the movements I was feeling yesterday were the opposite of what its been... but back where it was today!! Growth scan in 2 weeks at 36 weeks so fingers crossed!

@Whiffle77 I find it really comfy, doesn’t hurt my neck like my old one did and it’s not too big either so OH is happy! Love mine! x

Hi, I'm very tentatively adding myself to this thread. I have had two previous losses - my DD1 was stillborn in January 2019. In September 2019 I found out I was pregnant again, and at the 12 week scan it was clear that the baby was very sick. We received a diagnosis of Turner's syndrome, and DH and I made the heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy. Because of the nature of the diagnosis we know that the baby was a girl, so she was my beautiful DD2.
I was on the penguin huddle thread and found everyone there to be so supportive. It's nice to see some familiar names on this thread.
I found out I was pregnant again in May, and we had the 12 week scan a week and a half ago. The day before the scan I had a terrifying bleed and was in A&E for several hours. I went to the scan having prepared myself to be told that there was no heartbeat, but there was a heartbeat! We have just got the letter saying that the screening results are low risk. I'm not quite ready to tell people in real life yet, but it's nice to be able to say 'I'm pregnant' to people on the internet :-)

@JuniperAndRose welcome and gentle congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm sorry to learn of your previous losses. You're in good company here, this group has kept me sane over the last few months. Everything crossed that you're here for the long term, you'll get to know that we can all be a bit crazy, need talking down off the ceiling, picking up or just telling to calm down (that last one is mostly just me)