Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

Loving the bump pics today! Mine seems tiny compared to others and im further along! 22wks tomorrow. Excuse the jammies! My clothes still fit, if anything my normal go to Jean's are too big!! Dont have scales so cant weigh myself

Think I may be at the peak of feeling ok, appetite back, enjoying meals, slightly more energy although in bed 10ish every night. Lots of niggly type stretchy pains and aches when baby has been at the same side for longer than usual but wears off ok.

I feel more like I'm just fat at the moment rather than having a defined bump (apologies for the unmade bed in the spare room! )

I 100% agree with @MrsMGE that experiencing pregnancy loss makes you a far stronger person in the long run. For me the lowest point was after my second miscarriage - my second loss was just over a week later on than my first one which I believe made it more painful (in multiple ways!). I knew I was in a dark place so stopped trying to conceive for a few months and went for counselling with my husband. By the time we conceived this baby I was in a stronger place physically and mentally and felt more prepared for whatever came next. When you think about it this group should really be called Pregnant Warriors as although we might always feel it that's what we are!

@Optimistic66 my fingers are crossed for you, as others have said it's too early to know for sure but some spotting / blood in mucus isn't unusual in early pregnancy. This is such a warm and welcoming group I'm glad you've found us!

Just updating me on the list :)
My bump is massive. I'm a little shocked 😂

@Bellsx21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael32121wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum1918wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping202016wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou231217wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma17wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS16wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo16wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake16wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles16wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower160816wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck16wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout2014wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth13wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes2013wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie1915wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria201510wks
@tmc1413wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@Doughnut10010wks (due 05/11/20)
@teaandtantrums9010 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 11/10/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85* 5 wks (due 13/12/20)

Impressive bump @Treaclepie19! 💕

Hi ladies hope you are all keeping safe and well. Thought I would add my bump pic so here's mine,I'll be 22 weeks tomorrow. It's so nice being at that point where I am able to feel him move around more now which is reassuring and I'm loving having a proper bump at last!

So nice to see all those bumps. Have been following thread but not posting much as find it hard to keep up! But finding it very helpful to read people’s experiences and tips for managing emotions and whatnot.
I am now just over 8 weeks and feel fine, just slightly nauseous and get tired very easily, so having frequent naps. Am pleased with myself because I have managed to completely stop vaping (couple of weeks ago), and this was more or less my last unhealthy habit - not that I’m super fit like some of you ladies. Am very impressed with some of your exercise regimes and I am sure that being fit will help when it comes to time to give birth.
I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow and think they will give me another scan- am pretty nervous about that and don’t know if I want them to offer it or not!
Also, finally got a plan to go back to work in a non-patient facing role. Am really glad as it will keep me occupied. Work have been so supportive which has helped a lot.

Lovely bump pics, you all look fab. I'm expecting to be massive this around given it's been such a short time between pregnancies and i've been gorging on naughty food! Today's treat was a hot cross bun with nutella and banana.

Just been told my booking in appointment is now over the phone. I don't mind that really, but just really hoping my 12 week scan is not delayed. I'll be 11 weeks at booking in. I've been told to ring the scanning department tomorrow to hopefully get an appointment for the scan booked in. For me, 12 weeks doesn't feel particularly safe because I had such a late loss last year but I'll still be glad to get there. One milestone at a time.

Forgot we had moved on to thread number 4 and thought things had gone a bit quiet!😁 I've now caught up. Love all the bump pics! I'm only 10 weeks and so bloated at the moment I look like I'm double that.

Sorry, I meant thread number 3. 😁

Amazing bump pictures ladies.

I couldn't decide if mine was bump / bloat or biscuits 😂 it’s quite rounded at a front angle. Yesterday on a walk, an old lady, said “you look after that baby dear”. I suddenly stopped, looked down and thought there’s a baby.

Hope everyone is doing ok, and the sun is shining for you all today.

Aww @DressingGown87 ❤

My son just poked my tummy and went "mommy... is that boobs?"

I said no, its my tummy.

"Oh! Its really big..." 😂🙈

Awww @DressingGown87 that really lovely! 💞

Hi ladies,

I hope you don’t mind if I join this thread. I’m so happy to have found it it’s very reassuring. I had a MMC (missed miscarriage) in December, it was really devastating. But got my BFP (big fat positive) in March and am today 9 weeks pregnant. I had an early reassurance scan at 7 weeks and everything looked fine. I’m due back next week where il be 10 weeks and just getting so overwhelmingly nervous. My main worry is that I haven’t had any strong pregnancy symptoms sad. I have mild nausea and food aversions but not everyday, a lot of burping (sorry tmi), peeing a lot, boobs are bigger and I can see the blue veins but they haven’t really been tender, a bit of constipation (sorry again TMI). I’m just worried that’s not a good sign. I just feel I’ve lost all my confidence.

Any advice/reassurance would be great

Hope you and all your bumps are well x

@Shefflin124 welcome. I totally understand where you are, I have been the same. But the thing to remember is the symptoms don't mean anything. Some women with bad nausea find out at the 12w scan that there is a problem. And some women with no symptoms at all find out that everything is fine. Remember that statistics are on your side, and this is a whole new pregnancy, different egg, different sperm. Pregnancy after loss is hard, many of us expect the worst. You are in the right place for support.

I have had dreadful sickness that took over my life and then it stopped so I was convinced I've lost it again. But then the sickness came back, just differently. But the fact is I still don't know. I feel like symptom spotting is me unconsciously trying to grab some control over the uncontrollable. I just breathe, and allow myself to hope, and try to lean in to the uncertainty and accept that for now I just don't know.

@Treaclepie19 😂😂😂 I love it how cute

@DressingGown87 that's lovely! I think the fact that we aren't seeing a lot of people we don't notice that many of us are now recognisably pregnant.

@Shefflin124 congratulations and welcome. Honestly symptoms mean nothing. I've had horrendous morning sickness, but many of the ladies on here have had minimal symptoms and equally healthy pregnancies. You can even have very different symptoms between pregnancies. Try hard not to read into it too much. Pregnancy after loss really messes with you, but try to remember this is a brand new set of circumstances

Morning all! Wow, so many lovely bumps 😊 Hoping to get to that stage now, for now I'm just bloated.

First world problem: am I never going to be able to have a haircut/dye my hair again? I've just realised that if my pregnancy progresses I'm likely to be at home till the end of this year and then on maternity leave. It's a very strange prospect of not returning to the office potentially for 18 months. As a result, I think hairdresser appointments would be a no-no too, is this non-essential if I don't even go to the office? Or is it still OK to go every couple of months? Is it safe-ish do you think (I know nowhere is 100% safe)? Thing is I have very thick, long hair and I'm getting to the stage where it's barely manageable 🙄 Any advice? Is anyone planning to have an appointment when they reopen, at least for a cut?

@Treaclepie19 aww how so innocently sweet of him!

@whittle77 I think the more these moments happen the more it will start to be real.

The father of my bean called yesterday. After his horrific comment at the start of my pregnancy, I was unsure whether I should answer. But he must have figured my scan date, so I thought I would let him say what he wanted to say. He said he was coming over to talk, I refused, instead met him in local car park (whilst adhering social distancing which is quite easy when you don’t want to speak to that person). Anyways he’s said he never thought I would do it, carry a child, but I’ve proved him wrong 🙄 so now it’s got to this stage (in my eyes it’s still early) he wanted to confirm he never wants to be part of the child’s life, never wants anyone to find out who he is, doesn’t want to know when I give birth or anything. He offered me a large sum of (cough hush) money which I declined, as this has never been or never will be about the money. He said he couldn’t think of a nicer person (🙄) and he knows I will give the baby a great life. I never wanted a child in these circumstances, and I know people have tried for years to TTC. But after 7 losses years ago, I’d given up any hope, had so much pain, and watched my ex raise the family we tried so hard for and come to terms that this would never happen. So the old dears comment, meant the world to me, as I was walking to clear my head. Today is a new day, and I can do this, and I will do everything I can to keep me and my baby safe.

@Shefflin124 I’ve not really had any symptoms all the way through. I had very mild symptoms at 5-6 weeks, and they just disappeared. Sometimes I get indigestion, but I got this before, and tiredness, but then I put this down to being at home constantly. I’m 13 weeks now. I found I was over analyzing my (lack of) symptoms, which was causing anxiety. But at every scan I was reassured. Everyone gets symptoms and some people get none. Just take everyday as it comes, little milestones, and don’t worry anxiety is normal, especially after a mc. X

Also, I'm an emotional wreck...in the course of this week I cried daily watching Captain Tom, cried at Bocelli's Music for Hope, cried looking at photos of my dog and cats, then looking at the photos of my friend's dog, cried at Boris Johnson's speech when he was released from hospital (I mean wtf... 🤦🏼‍♀️)... I dread to think what's going to make me cry tomorrow morning!!!

Updating my weeks. Can't quite believe I'm 18 weeks today!

@Bellsx 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 16wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 18wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 17wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 16wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 16wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 16wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 16wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 16wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 16wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 14wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 13wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 13wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 15wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 13wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@Doughnut100 10wks (due 05/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 10 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 11/10/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85* 5 wks (due 13/12/20)

@shefflin124 welcome to the group and gentle congratulations plus sticking bean vibes being sent your way. You are in the right place to discuss worries but you sound to have most of the symptoms I had at 9 weeks so try not to worry too much. As others have said, this is a different pregnancy and we have to hope for the best. Also, I think it's safe to say there isnt really anything that is tmi in here lol. Try to enjoy this time and we are here if you need support x

On another note, do any of you lovely ladies use bump buddy app? I'm having real problems accessing it today and not sure if it's just me...

@MrsMGE I think hair appointments are essential (IMO), so should be able to go every couple of months. I have mine dyed every 2-3 weeks, as I’ve been fully GREY since I was 22 (great genes 😭) and it’s grows quick. Since lockdown I’ve been doing my roots at home, with my hairdresser on FaceTime. I’ve never had a reaction to the colour, and it’s safe in PG.

@Knotemma I know I think because I don’t see anyone, and nobody sees me (live alone) it’s a shock!

Oh God @DressingGown87 I didn't realise this was your background story! That's it, I'm crying again. I'm so sorry, this is terribly unfair. I think you're hell of a woman rising above all this and I wish you all the very best. Are you sure you'll be ok without maintenance going forward? You don't have to make a decision now and I appreciate he's a twat by the sounds of it, but perhaps give it another thought later on and get advice from a solicitor (I'm saying this in my lawyer hat on, but taking it off, I understand you may not want to have anything to do with him at all). Take care ❤️

@MrsMGE thank you, sorry I made you cry 🙈 I’m 32, luckily I have a great support network of friends, granted they are busy with their own lives / families a lot of the time. So it is a lonely process. I did think about the maintenance, but I’m lucky that my mortgage is due to be paid off in August. I also have a great relationship designing nursery schools, and they give my company discount / free admission, so I should be able to go back to work on reduced hours, without a big fee to cover. Plus my family have said they will support me financially if needed, and I’m going to sell my (side line) company (once lockdown is over) to give me a financial blanket.
The support I need is for me, I struggle with MH, to help with the sleepless nights, anxiety, if I’m ever poorly. Or just someone to share this experience with. I don’t ever think he would be able to give me that support. things he said at the beginning where so hurtful “Hope history repeats itself etc” so I would rather be lonely, than having to coparent with an idiot, who would probably dip in and out. I however gave him the option to be part of the babies life, because I think every child has the right to know it’s parents. But he has made his decision.

Back to first world problems... I keep having sleepless nights about when I can’t see my toes or downstairs! I was going through laser hair removal which I have now stopped, hate waxing, so it’s going to be a challenge 😂 or out of control!

@MrsMGE I'm really lucky that I have a fairly major undercut, so most of my hair appointments are just to shave that back in. I usually do it myself between appointments anyway, since my hair grows mega fast. So I'm just continuing to do that. I doubt that salons will be in the first wave of stuff to reopen if I'm honest, it could be a while yet. I think looking at what's happening in places that are starting to ease their lockdown it seems to be hardware stores and stuff like that that are being allowed to reopen first.... You really can't get a haircut at a social distance 😂. The good news is thought that everyone is in the same boat, my eyebrows are looking increasingly like they belong to a cave woman and because of my eyesight I can't do them myself very well 😂🙈

@DressingGown87 that is shocking and I'm so proud of you for deciding to keep the baby yourself! You're a strong woman and you and your baby will have a great life together without that lowlife 😄

@DressingGown87 I second what @MrsMGE said - he sounds like an absolute twat and you're well shot of him. You are completely right. Focus on keeping you and your baby safe for now. xx