Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

Everyone on this group is so brave and strong; the most amazing women and best mums I’ve ever met are from this little ‘club’ that no one ever wants to be in. We’re all mums whether are babies are with us or not. Lots of love to you all and I hope I have some good news to share from tomorrow’s scan! 💫 xxx

@anon20something good luck for tomorrow, everything crossed for a lovely worry free scan x

@Anon20something good luck for today, thinking of you x

Just popped on to say GOOD LUCK @Anon20something for today!
Will be thinking of you xx

Good luck @Anon20something hope it all goes well!

@Avocuddles I know right! I'm the same, spoke to my line yesterday about it and he was very surprised I'm already 5 months pregnant 🤣 I'm starting to feeling slightly panicky as we have so much stuff we need to get!

@Anon20something good luck on your scan today!

@SunStruck I'm still back and forth trying to decide when to tell work about me. On the one hand I want to wait until 20 weeks (I'll be 15 weeks Sunday). But on the other, I'm part of management team currently deciding who comes back from furlough, whether to work in the office (while socially distancing) etc. I fear that in another 6 weeks they may assume my input to the discussion has been very much directed by personal circumstances, as I've been very much saying people can't travel etc and need to continue WFH. I don't want to seem like my viewpoint was more for personal reasons! I had a panic last week as there was suggestion of letting someone on my team of 3 go. I couldn't let that happen, as when I go on maternity leave there would only be one person then! Just hoping that conversation goes away as will not be bringing it up again....

@AnxiousLady1 I found telling work (just my managers) really helped early on, because they were so much more flexible with me. They new from about 7 weeks, when I'd had an early scan and honestly I was so grateful for their support. No one else knew until I felt ready to share my news and I sent a group email to my old teams (I'm on a secondment) to let them know on Monday, because it's pretty much decided I won't be allowed back in the office. It's taken a lot of pressure off me, knowing that I have their support and backing. We've also started the process of recruiting my maternity cover and I'll be able to work with that person for the next 3 months or so to get them up to speed

I haven't decided about telling work either yet. Because I was WFH when I felt terrible, I didnt need to as I could hide away easily! I have my 12 week scan in a week and a bit...I will tell them a few weeks after that I think. I don't mind telling my boss but I manage a team and would have to tell them at the same time so they don't find out on the grapevine, I dont feel ready for that! I need to give the business long enough to find a replacement for me in the current circumstances as well, as most people in my role have long notice periods.
It's a hard one - if certain elements are making you feel yn comfortable @AnxiousLady1 then you might feel better telling them
I hope I will be allowed back in the office, but I think our whole working strategy will change significantly as a result of this

Can anyone here tell me if they've had a really early scan? I've had a call from my hospital and they've asked me in for a scan on Tuesday and I'll only be 5+3 at that point.

Thank you so much for all the lovely messages ladies, appreciate it so much! Baby is developing perfectly, and was so active I had to go back half an hour later to get a closer look at him! 💙

@Anon20something Ah that's great news!! You must be thrilled! Xx

@Knotemma and @Whiffle77 I cannot see my company being supportive, which is part of my issue. They will ultimately view it as an inconvenience as I'm a member of the management team, and also the first person in the companies history to take maternity leave. They won't know what process to follow, as I'm ultimately the person that manages those processes! 😂 I deal with everything operational and I cannot see them trying to fill my role while I am gone. They will expect those remaining to try manage I expect. I'm not worried, as ultimately the baby is my priority. I guess I'm sort of prolonging telling them due to feeling like they won't be overly thrilled. So in waiting, I'm sparing myself that on top of everything else...

@Anon20something so glad your scan went well and you have a healthy wriggler in there! Thanks for your super kind words about the group yesterday, I definitely agree that this is one amazing group of women and we're lucky to have each other.

@footprintsintheslow at 5+3 they may be able to see a sac and a foetal pole (ie confirm that there's a pregnancy in there and it's in the right location) but not much else - sometimes a heartbeat can be seen from 6 weeks but from what I understand 7 weeks is preferable to definitely see one and identify if all looks well. Have they said why they want you in so early?

@AnxiousLady1 you're right that the baby needs to be your priority now but it's understandable that you've wanted to delay what feels like some inevitable stress in terms of telling work. My manager keeps implying how stressed she is at the prospect of finding someone up to her (ridiculously high) standards to cover me at one of our busiest times of year, I'm just trying to ignore her as it's really not my problem and I imagine that when I return next summer it will feel like I never left.....

@Knotemma it's great you'll have plenty of time to hand over to your mat cover, I suspect I'll have zero handover time based on how my place usually works....

@Whiffle77 I'm hoping I'm allowed back in the office before the baby is born but feel like it's becoming increasingly unlikely. My only hope might be if the antibody tests become widely available - I (and my GP) am certain I've had it but it was before testing was routine for anyone other than those in intensive care.

@SunStruck we've still got a while to get all of the stuff yet but I've made a list! A delivery of paint arrived this morning so our first task is to clear the junk out of what will be baby's nursery so we can actually use it.... We plan for them to sleep in our room for the first six months but we're going to make a small room adjacent to ours (basically a dressing room) into their room for the first couple of years then they can move into a bigger one on a different floor once they're a toddler.

@Anon20something that's brilliant news, over the moon! Did you find out what you're having?

@AnxiousLady1 that sounds like a stressful situation, hopefully they surprise you and are brilliant when you tell them.

@Avocuddles your boss sounds like a perfectionist, which in some ways is great, but it's also a pain in the backside at times!

I've actually got a call in with someone this afternoon who's applying for the job, while I won't be involved in the interview process they've asked for a chat about the job. Because it's an internal opportunity I'll probably get quite a few, though they don't know it's to cover me specifically

Lovely news @anon20something very pleased for you!
Ah gosh that sounds like a pain @AnxiousLady1 - if you are in charge of the policies though, you must be able to write yourself a great mat leave one!! 😂
I guess it depends what the future guidance is @Avocuddles I did read one study saying we weren't at any higher risk than anyone else, but that isnt reflected in the guidance anywhere. Will just have to see how it pans out! I couldn't bear to be at home until November though...

@Whiffle77 Interestingly one of the things I did change two years ago was our maternity offering. I was asked at the time (as I had only married that year) if it was self motivated! I've spoken with my DH, as our maternity package is non-contractual, and with everything going on with the ecomony and the business currently, I can foresee them reneging on it and just having to take statutory entitlements. But I'm not overly concerned about this either as I had enough foresight to put money aside in savings over the last couple of years, that I said was either for emergencies, or to cover my maternity leave!

@Knotemma we’re having a boy! He’s definitely not shy so was really obvious haha! We found out at 16 weeks, my anxiety was so bad I opted for a private scan just to see that he was really still in there and okay, was nice that my husband could come too!

Feeling so much calmer and can’t believe how many of you sent a nice message earlier - positive vibes definitely helped! Thank you all 😊 x

Really pleased for your lovely scan @Anon20something
I had my scan today also - 12wks 5days and everything looked normal. So so relieved and happy!

It’s been a week of positive scans! So pleased for everyone. Now I’m going to try and figure out how to add my name to the weeks list...

Okay, I’m on the list!

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@MysteriousSheep thank you! And congratulations!

@MysteriousSheep Brilliant news on your scan! You must be thrilled. Relax for the rest of the evening now. Xx

Lots of lovely scan pictures and positive news. How fabulous to hear!

Great news @MysteriousSheep what a lovely week this has been!!

@MysteriousSheep that's fab news. What a brilliant week for scans!