Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

@AnxiousLady1 oh I'm nowhere near a scan yet, I'm still only 4 weeks! I'm just prepared for all eventualities that I experienced last time. I don't know why but buying those things made me feel better! xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 Ah okay! I wasn't sure if I missed you mentioning a scan earlier. That's not a bad idea to be prepared for all scenarios. Either way you are making sure you treat yourself. xx

@MysteriousSheep welcome! Great to hear you had a positive scan this week though know what you mean re reassurance lasting all of five minutes! Glad you've found this thread and hope it can help you through these painfully long and slow weeks....

@Knotemma @Hagster I would like to think that your situations will mean your babies will be made of tough stuff!

@fmturn so sorry to hear what you're going through. I hope and pray that it's third time lucky for you. The pain of a second miscarriage is horrid and I urge you to take some time to look after yourself. After my second loss we stepped back from TTC for a few months and also went for counselling together. Give yourself time to heal then hopefully we'll see you back here soon.

@Hoping2020 I share your sadness re 16 weeks. I was hoping for a reassurance scan this week but like you I now won't even get a face to face midwife appointment. As you say all we can do is assume that for now everything is going well, I just wish I could feel movements or had a clearly defined bump going on so that I felt pregnant rather than just a bit fat! I'm a lot, lot better now thank you, can't really tell if my general congestion and tiredness are due to still being in recovery or standard pregnancy symptoms!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm going to crack open the boozeless booze tonight too - will have a toast to all of us!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I actually love that idea of being prepared for all scenarios. It’s like we have to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst! I know that even if things don’t work out for me I will be okay, as I have coped before and really what choice do we have?? But it doesn’t make it any less terrifying and painful having so much hope as well. If that makes sense?

@fmturn so sorry to read that, sending lots of healing thoughts and hope you are okay. Wishing for happier times ahead for you

Soooo.... I got really excited today, was lying in the bath and felt a bubble/flutter in my tummy, about 2 inches below my belly button... Got really excited thought it was the baby... Then I pumped 🤦😂

@Knotemma That's hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing, it made me laugh!!

@anxiouslady1 I literally went from breathlessly excited to crying laughing in about 5 seconds. I know 16+2 is probably still a bit early to be feeling anything, but I have been having 5 minutes of lying still and concentrating in a morning to see if I can feel anything. Looks like I'll be waiting a bit longer😂

@Avocuddles - totally with you. With what we’ve been through, it seems unfair that our time has come and lots of the experiences we’ve longed for aren’t going to be the way we’d dreamed them to be. We just have to keep the hope that our little babas are growing and developing tucked safely away in the best place for them to be.

@Knotemma (no idea why I can’t tag you properly, you’re not coming up), that made me laugh! I sometimes get the same! Can’t wait for that very first proper, distinguishable kick!

@Mimba1 I didn't reply to your message - it does sound like we've had a similar journey. In retrospect I also wish I'd started trying earlier, but in reality I just didn't think it would be an issue and was happy living my life earlier! I was still ready before my partner though, we kind of bartered and I ended up waiting 18 months more than I was comfortable with, which I have occasionally been resentful of, but then I remind myself that we have such a lovely relationship and I wouldn't be with anyone else, and he didn't know either. At the time he was in a really stressful position in his career and was imagining I'd get pregnant straight away and it would be the worst possible time for him. I had told him it probably wouldn't happen straight away - wish I hadn't been so right!!!

There's nothing worse than going for a scan and them not finding the embryo/saying maybe you got your dates wrong, and you know your dates can't be that wrong. I'm almost 5 weeks now and when I get to 6 weeks I am just going to dread the same thing happening. I still can't believe my body held onto that embryo for 5 weeks before letting go, it just seems so cruel. I think I'm going to have to go for an early scan at 8 weeks again, as if I see an 8 week old fetes and a heartbeat I will just be SO elated. But I will be feeling sick to go in and have it done... I think of all the dates hanging over my head the date of that scan is the most dreaded one, it was the worst few days. How far along are you now and will you do an early scan, or are you trying to be brave and not do it?

The best thing we can tell ourselves, and the truest thing, is that after one early miscarriage there is absolutely nothing to suggest it will happen this time. The odds are in our favour. I've also heard that first pregnancies are quite significantly more likely to miscarry, so perhaps our wombs/bodies are more ready now.

I'm being braver than I imagined I would be but damn time is passing slowly! I'm still not 5 weeks til tomorrow! I wish there was some way to speed things up... back to my playstation game I think :) xxxx

Updating my weeks

@MOGMOGMOG85 4 wks (due 13/12/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 19/10/20)⁣
@Doughnut100 10wks (due 05/11/20
@teaandtantrums90 10 wks (due 07/11/20)
@DressingGown87 10wks (23/10/20)
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@tmc14 13wks (due 11/10/20)
@Aria2015 10wks
@Treaclepie19 14wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 13wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 15wks (due 30/09/20)
@Scout20 14wks (due 29/09/20)
@SunStruck 15wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 14wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@avocuddles 15wks (due 27/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 15wks (due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 15wks (due 26/09/20)
@LilMrsS 14wks (due 24/09/20)
@Knotemma 16wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 17wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Hoping2020 16wks (due 13/09/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@Rachael321 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Bellsx 21wks (due 20/08/20)

Hey hope everyone is well, I'm 4 weeks today so still really early, I'm having some light cramps just one cramp on its own that comes back after about 1minute, I think I'm going to take some paracetamol and get on with my day. I'm trying to be really positive xx

Hi ladies, I would like to join your group if that's ok. I've just found out that I'm pregnant, only 4 weeks and due 18th Dec so very early days obviously. I had a TFMR and lost my baby girl at 19 weeks in December due to severe spina bifida. I'm very fortunate to have fallen pregnant again first cycle, and before my daughters due date which is approaching fast. I'm sorry for all of your losses and hoping these will all be our rainbow babies. 🌈 x

@Knotemma I also spent a long bath yesterday with my hand on my stomach desperately trying to sense movement. Alas like you the only activity that seems to be going on is digestion - I loved your story!

@AliSxo crampy feelings are really common early on - I had the exact same cramps with this pregnancy as I did with the unsuccessful ones so it's definitely not a bad sign. This time round I felt crampy up to about 5 weeks at which point the cramps changed to dodgy digestive pains instead which are still hanging around now at almost 16 weeks!

@1stbabs so sorry to hear about your daughter, what a heartbreaking experience. This is such a friendly and welcoming group, hopefully we can give you some comfort and reassurance on the journey to your rainbow baby.

@MOGMOGMOG85 @Mimba1 I can totally relate to wishing we had started sooner. We've been together for almost ten years, but DH wasn't in a good place financial and went through a significant career changes about 5 years ago and we couldn't afford out own place to live for a long time. His mum always coped that we would make room (we lived with them for a long time) but I was very focused on being financially stable and "ready" I had said I wanted a baby by the time I was 30, but we ended up buying our home just after my 30th birthday and my career was just taking off. Then DH decided that getting married really mattered to him ( I was never bothered and was just going to change my name by deed poll). We talked about eloping and his mum told me she'd never forgive. So I ended up planning a wedding on about 4 months. For almost 4 years at that point we'd been less than careful, I stopped my pill and tracked my period, so we usually used condoms around ovulation, but not always. Two weeks before the wedding I was due to ovulate and sat down and said... Are we going to start trying properly now? So we didn't use a condom and I was pregnant on our wedding day, but didn't know. Found out I was PG and then had my first MC while on honeymoon (luckily in this country). I thought then, well we got PG easily so no worries.... 2 years and 3 MCs later and we finally look like we're on our way to our rainbow, and I'll be about 3 weeks off 34 when he or she gets here. While I do wish we'd started sooner, I'm not sure it would have made any difference and honestly I'm glad that we were at a point where we were strong enough as a couple to cope. DH is my absolute rock, I would not have survived going through this without him. He's supportive and my endless cheerleader 💕. Sometimes looking back we can be really critical of ourselves and our decisions, but be kind to yourselves and remember that those decisions were made for the best reasons at the time x

Thanks @Avocuddles that's reassuring to know :) I've been having indigestion pains when I eat garlic which I've not had before, going to cut it down and see if it makes a difference xx

@AliSxo yes I am having cramps too. Only short lived cramps, but on and off daily since before my BFP to now at almost 5 weeks. Congrats on making it to 4 weeks! I'm only 6 days ahead of you. I also got a little bit of "lightning crotch" yesterday, sharp pains in the tops of my thighs. Theres all sorts of stuff going on down there at the moment even though the embryo is tiny the womb needs to start stretching out straight away, or the embryo might still be implanting deeper. If it helps when I had my miscarriage it was long, long, painful cramps, almost continuous, not the little fleeting cramps of early pregnancy xxx

@1stbabs I'm so so sorry for your loss. Congrats on your bfp and welcome, I'm in my 4th week and there are a couple of other early people on here. We're all on our own journeys but experiencing similar fears that these pregnancies will be like the last ones so we understand xx

Thanks @Knotemma yes it's true. We actually started trying when we were still living in a mouse infested, mould ridden, 6 foot wide, uninsulated, unheated, converted toilet in south london. We were desperately saving the last of our deposit for our own place, and moved last June to a lovely spacious 2 bedroom flat with a lovely view and in a really nice area away from london, and I fell pregnant in my next cycle after a total 16 months trying. I do sometimes wonder if the horror of living in that rented flat (as well as the spores, mouse poo etc), as well as my stressful job which I left for a much better one outside london, might have contributed to our lack of success! You can't rush these things, it took us 8 years in total to save for our deposit and we didn't move in until my 34th birthday. This feels like such a lovely place to start a family so fingers crossed.

I've had a couple of bouts of nausea, very mild but unpleasant, I wonder if this could be early morning sickness? I never had it last time, although I do know that many successful pregnancies don't cause morning sickness it's something I was a little obsessed over last time.. I haven't been sick, but just feel yucky, especially after eating, and yet i feel nauseous if I'm not eating too, and hungry all the time. Anything that can help? Fizzy drinks, lots of water, walking? Hopefully if that's what it is it'll stay mild for me.. xx

I've had quite a lot of cramps this time too, it's what reminds me I'm pregnant at the minute! O think it's normal, there is an awful lot going on in there in the early weeks as well, it's amazing how much happens so quickly! To be honest I had very minimal pain during my MC except for about half an hour, so its worried me far less this time round than it did last time. I feel really normal still, except for my boobs hurting and being tired.
I've not had it @mogmogmog85 but I think flat fizzy drinks are meant to help, and also not letting yourself get hungry- so keep some crackers by your bed and have a couple before you even get up. That's what my book said anyway! I've been eating plenty of ginger nuts even though I feel fine - any excuse!
Hope everyone is enjoying the sun - I'm happy as I found some alcohol free prosecco which is actually pretty realistic! Yum!

@1stbabs welcome, my SIL went through a similar thing with her first, a daughter that had spina bufida. It was such a tragic loss, I feel for you 💐 glad you have found yourself pregnant again and hope this one is a keeper x

@Knotemma @avocuddles I can't wait to feel something, I have a bump now but it would just reallllyyy help if I could feel it sometimes too, especially with the lack of 16 week face to face appointment.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I was never actually sick but felt constantly nauseous for weeks... from memory probably from 6/7 weeks until 11. It was the kind of nausea I get when I'm hungover and just want to eat everything, and eating helped temporarily but I couldn't face anything creamy! You kind of get used to it and it fades into the background after a while.

I've been waking up at 3am the last 3 days absolutely starving! I am hoping it's a sign baby is growing. I weighed myself and seem to be losing weight though so maybe I need to just eat more!

@MOGMOGMOG85 Sparkling water and having lots of mints on hand helped me. I've so many packets of polos lying around the house! Hunger definitely makes it worse so there were a few mornings where I ate a couple of ginger snaps before even getting out of the bed. I recommend those thin Swedish ones if looking for an alternative to ginger nuts. They are really light and good to nibble on. X

To those with cramps - I had loads of those. Definitely up the the 7 week mark as I recall it being present right before my reassurance scan. I didn't have it last time with my MMC. Obviously my scan showed all was on track, so I can only assume it was things stretching, as others have said. Still get some cramps now at 10 wks but that tends to be gas!!

Hi all, we've just been for a scan at Window to the Womb and thankfully everything looks good. I know they get bad reviews but we found them to be pretty good. Didn't feel rushed or anything and they were all really lovely. We got an amazing video of the baby waving and they measured my dates bang on so fingers crossed all remains well.

Dates updated.
@MOGMOGMOG854 wks (due 13/12/20)
@Hagster13wks (due 19/10/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 weeks (due 11/11/20)
@Doughnut10010wks (due 05/11/20
@teaandtantrums9010 wks (due 07/11/20)
@DressingGown8710wks (23/10/20)
@seaduck12wks (due 17/10/20)
@tmc1413wks (due 11/10/20)
@Aria201510wks
@Treaclepie1914wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@HighHopes2013wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Littlegoth15wks (due 30/09/20)
@Scout2014wks (due 29/09/20)
@SunStruck15wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower160814wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@avocuddles15wks (due 27/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo15wks (due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake15wks (due 26/09/20)
@LilMrsS14wks (due 24/09/20)
@Knotemma16wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@SammiLou231217wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Hoping202016wks (due 13/09/20)
@UrsulaSings17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Pugmum1918wks (due 31/08/20)
@Rachael32121wks (due 20/08/20)
@Bellsx21wks (due 20/08/20)

Hi ladies, I hope no one minds if I join. We lost our son neonatally in August last year and recently have found out I am pregnant. It's such a scary journey to be on and it would be nice to be alongside ladies who have been through situations of loss (although awful that any of us are here). I'm due early December, around the 2nd although I'm fairly certain I'll be having an ELCS. Congratulations to everyone on this threat and wishing everyone the best that we will all be bringing our beloved babies home🌈

@MOGMOGMOG85 I would be cautious of ginger nuts/snaps. Well of ginger in general. I had horrendous morning sickness, which has luckily calmed down since about week 13. But ginger made everything so much worse for me, it gave me awful heartburn, so throwing up was worse. I'm a big advocate of the beige diet and trying not to let yourself get to the point of actually feeling hungry. That being said, everyone is different. I would just go steady on the ginger until you know how it's going to affect you, because it does make a lot of women worse x

@Avocuddles @TunnocksTcake @MOGMOGMOG85 thank you all so much for the warm welcome, this is going to be hard but lovely to see how supportive you all are on here x

@lionsmum I am so sorry for the loss of your son ❤️ I am due in December too. Hoping these are our rainbows 🌈

Can I please ask ladies if your scans are being affected due to COVID? I was promised an early scan at 8 weeks by the Fetal medicine team at my debrief appt last month. Just wondering if I shouldn't get my hopes up for that anymore x