Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

@Mimba1 it's so interesting hearing all the different ways that couples come to be TTC. It's understandable to wish you hadn't spent time faffing but you can't force these things, the heart wants what it wants, when it wants. I'm a big procrastinator and I get so angry at myself but sometimes I find for whatever reason I just have to faff and there's nothing I can do about it! I hope this is your rainbow baby and it helps you put your journey in a different light so you can be at ease with the past. It's so easy to say regret is a waste of time but if that's how you feel, that's how you feel. Still, be easy on yourself.

Thank you, ladies 😊 I'm on Cyclogest this time round until 12 weeks. This is making me feel a lot more relaxed, which is only a good thing!

I'm currently wfh full-time, not sure if anyone on here is in a similar situation? Normally I wouldn't be considering telling my employer before the 2nd trimester, but I wonder if I might have to do this if the lockdown is finished say in few weeks' time. I'll be keeping a close eye on the guidance for pregnant women, but if they keep it as is, I don't think I'd be allowed to return to the office. This is going to be interesting if we're potentially in this boat till spring next year!

Has anyone had any recent experience (I mean the last 3 weeks) experience with your first GP/midwife appointment that you could share? I'm planning to wait till 7 wks and then all goes well, give them a bell.

Happy Easter 💐🐇🐣 xxx

Wow. So many lovely and incredibly reassuring messages. I’m sat here in tears- it’s very special to speak to people who understand how difficult pregnancy after loss can be. Thank you so much for all taking the time to reply so thoughtfully! Sending positive vibes to everyone 💐💐💐

@MrsMGE I called my midwife at 6 weeks and she told me to call back at 8 weeks. No idea yet if I'll see her in person or not.

@MrsMGE OH MY GOD!!!! I am so so happy to see you here!!! 🤗 congratulations, third time lucky for us eh?! Missed you!!! How are you feeling?? 😄😄😄

Thank you @Mimba1, I thought it wouldn't even be worth doing anything before 7-8 wks 😂 Tbh that's fine with me, I'd probably would rather avoid midwives, hospitals and scans for as long as possible and until absolutely necessary this time!

Heeey @SunStruck! ❤️ Thanks a lot, this has been a bit of a shock, I can't quite believe I managed to get pg again so quickly after the second one considering it took me 8 months after the MMC previously. DH and I anticipated I might be pg by the end of this year and due after this whole CV malarky is over, but it's taken 3 weeks this time 😱 I'm feeling really good, thanks, in good spirits! Hungry most of the time and sleepy in the mornings, also my skin is pretty dry and I got a couple of spots which is unusual for me, but nothing to complain about. How are you?? Second trimester already, how fabulous, sista ❤️ How's pregnant life treating you now at the ME? Are you working now? xxx

Thank you to everyone welcoming me so kindly. I'm sure I'll get to know you all well throughout this journey ahead. Hoping you are all having a relaxing Easter, not that we have much choice anyway. A quick question re isolation, are you ladies all staying away from supermarkets ect?

@Mimba1 that's lovely our due dates are so close to one and other I think mine may be a few days later though as I tend to ovulate closer to CD20 rather than 14!

@MrsMGE that's such good news, so happy for you two. I'm a strong believer in 3rd time lucky 😊 and trust me is a good time to be pregnant (obviously if work etc is safe which I'm sure it is in your industry), it is godsend to WFH if you feel very tired/nauseous later on! Can have a short nap or just lie down when needed. I am also WFH, this is the fifth week. Many Skype meetings have been conducted wearing a smart shirt and pj bottoms 🤣

I'm feeling much better thank you, I've been feeling sick until week 14. I'm finally feeling good and I'm 16 weeks tomorrow 😱 I also have a scan tomorrow! Partner not allowed in but that's okay. We are completely locked down over here, not even allowed to go out during the day (for exercise or food or anything). We are only allowed out to buy food/medicine or to medical appointments if we apply for a permit online (you'll get a text message when/if approved so you can show police patrolling outside). Can't even walk your dog if you don't have a permit! And only one person out at a time from the same household.

I haven't told work yet, I plan to tell them when we eventually go back. I'll probably be 20 weeks then 🤣🤣🤣

I'm just so happy to see you back on this thread again! 😄

PS: I also have a few spots... I usually never get them! The old wives tale is that you're having a girl then because she's "stealing your beauty" but I call bullshit on that one, I'm having a boy 😂

@MrsMGE actually I would advise that you get in touch with your midwife or self refer to a hospital ASAP. Reason being that I know some ladies have been allocated 12w scan appointments quite late, like 13w, because of staff shortages. I'm sure it's different in every area. But it can't hurt to put yourself on their radar so they schedule you in. My scan is 12w4d and I self referred ages ago, I'd be very impatient if it was any later.

@lionsmum yes I am not going to shops at all, my partner is doing all the shopping and we disinfect the boxes and wrappers of everything when it comes in.

@SunStruck May I ask where in the world you are that is locked down so strictly?

@Doughnut100 I am i UAE 😄

I saw your post earlier about starting earlier. I recognize that, I am 36 now and a lot of people tell me I should have started to try earlier, but I didn't get married until autumn 2018 (and we started trying last year!). How far along are you? 😄

@MrsMGE - I’m on Cyclogest too, and aspirin. Initially I was prescribed them until 14 weeks but, at our consultant appointment after our 12-week scan, I asked if I could stay on them longer and she said yes. I’m taking less now but I was worried about stopping it completely in case it is what’s making the difference this time. She said it doesn’t do any harm to baby and was obviously helping my mindset so she was happy for it to continue. You might feel confident to stop it at 12 weeks which is great but thought I’d mention it in case you’re not, it might be an option for you to keep it going.

@lionsmum - I’m the same as @Doughnut100. DH is doing all the shopping and I’m wiping down bags etc. when he gets home. I would avoid going anywhere if you possibly can.

@SunStruck - that sounds extreme wherever you are. I laughed at your smart shirt and pyjama bottoms comment. I’ve been exactly the same 😂 Then one day on a group Skype video call, one of my colleagues asked to see how my bump was progressing 🙈 My pyjama bottom trick became apparent at that point! 😂

I've not referred to the midwife yet, keep meaning to but not got around to it - am only 6+2, will do so next week.
Hope everyone is enjoying the bank holiday weekend, I've spent most of it doing gardening and fence painting etc and am now absolutely shattered! Slept about 10 hours last night, I'm so tired all the time. Other than that and sore boobs, I still don't feel so pregnant. I had to have a few alcohol free drinks with the sun being out but it wasn't the same
I waited awhile too, neither of us were ready, so far it has taken us a year and I am nearly 35, but my husband is older. I don't think i would change things, i enjoyed everything i did whilst not ttc/having kids.
Have UAE been badly struck @SunStruck? It's weird to think of this as a global epidemic, and even odder to be pregnant during it! I do hope we get to see our friends and family at least some of the time we are pregnant. Still not really told anyone
Hi @lionsmum I am going out for exercise but my husband is doing all the shopping, and I'm working from home! I've not told work and won't until lockdown is over, which could be a long way away at this rate!
I'm also SO spotty, really bad, which I wasn't with my pregnancy earlier in the year. Weird how different each time can be!

@Knotemma @Avocuddles I did worry that might be the case, it is a shame you're not getting to see midwives face to face. Doesn't make the worry any easier I bet! I think I'll ring next week and see what they say 🤞🏽 x

@sunstruck my best friend is a midwife out there! Yup you can only start when you can. I'm 10w3d and counting the minutes. 2w1d until my 12w scan... how far are you?

I'm going to the shops... my reasoning being if oh goes he's just pick up about 3 things and he'd have to go about 3 times a week. I'm doing big shops every 2 weeks plus having veg delivered fortnightly in a box scheme, I figure its safer that way. The supermarkets are being quite sensible with the 2 metre queuing distance and limited people in store. Most people seem to have got the message now about keeping away from each other xx

@Doughnut100 Scans give me anxiety after the MMC so if I need to wait few days longer, I actually don't mind. I'll be getting in touch with my GP to get a midwife appointment arranged around the 7 weeks mark and take it from there. I'm really relaxed about this pregnancy after all the crap I've been through. What will be, will be 😊

@Hoping2020 I heard you can take it for longer than the 12 weeks, I've been prescribed it by a lovely private consultant and I'm sure I'll be in touch with her soon and see what her recommendations are. Tbh, I've already stopped it for 3 days (Thu-Sat inclusive) because I had a BFN on Thursday morning. Absolutely nothing's happened so I feel calm and reassured that stopping it has had no negative impact even at such an early stage. I'm not a huge fan of the pessaries and don't think I'd be keen to take them in the second trimester, but who knows. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it 😊

@SunStruck This sounds strict, how are you coping without getting out much and without the exercise? I've been doing my HIIT up until yesterday and now trying to find something lighter that I could do daily at home whilst pregnant. Glad you're still working! I am actually very busy work wise now, but who knows what the future holds, if many businesses struggle or go under we'll all be in trouble. Trying not to worry in advance though, we've had so many conversations about things being out of our control and how it's not worth stressing out too much. It's not ideal for anyone and perhaps the pregnancy appointments etc are not as we wished for because of the CV, but we can and will adapt. I think we've been through so much already that this is just another hurdle, but everything will be OK in the end. How crazy you're 16 weeks already, time flies! And yes, I'm totally with you re work outfits, jogger bottoms and shorts on every day 😁 I'm loving it!!! xxx

@MrsMGE oh I am finding ways to exercise! I am still exercising 5 times a week - we live on the 30th floor so I take the elevator down to the ground floor and walk the stairs up 3 times for cardio (so 90 floors in total with rest inbetween - very effective!). I also have a circuit I do at home with makeshift weights and lots of body weight exercises (like squats, lunges, pushups etc). I also have this attitude whatever will he will be... I think we've already gone through the worst that can happen and we know nothing we worry about, say or do can change the outcome ❤️ whats important is that you are pregnant now! Amazing you're put on cyclogest, are you also taking baby aspirin? Agree with you when it comes to scans, it also gives me anxiety. Natural after what we've been through!

@Doughnut100 I am 16 weeks tomorrow 😄 healthcare is great out here so being very well taken care of thankfully! All medical appointments still going ahead so I'm not missing my 16 week scan thank God, I can't believe it was 1 month ago I went for my 12 week scan, so long! Only 2 weeks until your 12 week one, I'm sure it will go well - have you had a good scan so far?

@Whiffle77 so-so, around 3800 infected (well, tested and confirmed) and 40 something deaths. They're taking it quite seriously though, the Expo has already been postponed to next year. Bad for the economy 😔 economy's definitely been hit hard. I agree, I would love to go back to the UK to see family before I get too big to fly, but that's all up in the air for now 🙁 I hope you're doing well, are you feeling sick or tired yet?

@Hoping2020 haha luckily I haven't been found out yet 🤣 I do try to put a BB cream on my face not to scare people if I know I'm going to have video calls that day ha-ha!

@Whiffle77 I'm also really spotty!! I reckon it's a combination of the hormones, and the diet that seems to consist of dairylea, toast and wotsits. 😬

@SunStruck I can't believe you and other ladies are exercising so much, I've turned into a total blob! Good for you! I will start again soon... I know it makes birth better. I had a 5w4d scan to rule out ectopic which was very reassuring as I was convinced the pregnancy was ectopic again.

I had lots of work video conferences before I was furloughed, but at the time I was so sick that I could barely sit up and get half-dressed, let alone put makeup on, it was depressing looking at myself on camera but I thought screw it, my colleagues are the least of my worries. And now I've gone without makeup so long I might never go back. I have always wanted to be confident enough to go without makeup, maybe this is my chance!

Yeah to be fair @AnxiousLady1 I am also eating a lot of beige food 😂 which will not be helping my skin! I thought no make up due to wfh and no wine would've blessed me with amazing skin!
I exercise a lot @Doughnut100 because I have to to keep my anxiety and mental health in check. I also notice a rapid deterioration when I let the exercise slide, which would be hard work at the minute. I'm a bit chunky anyway but have def put weight on, so I'm still a total blob even with the exercise!!!

I'm shattered @SunStruck but that's all...yes I really worry about our economy too, it's going to do such damage ☹
I've just refused to turn my camera on on my calls so far! I am a proper slob now! Joggers at all times!

@MrsMGE I am so so happy to see you here, have been thinking of you recently and wondering how you were doing. Seems like taking some time out did you good - I'm not saying that it's helped this pregnancy get as far as it has (16 weeks now!) as know that's just down to the fact that this is a different egg, different sperm, difference pregnancy, but it's definitely put me in a better place mentally.

I'm glad you're getting more support this time around. I'm also WFH full time. I blurted it out to my line manager when I was only around 5 weeks. We'd been working away with about 8 colleagues and I was feeling really exhausted then so definitely not my usual self (though the 'dry January' excuse did seem to work....). She made a comment in my appraisal the following week about how I'd done so well given the incredibly tough year I experienced in 2019 and then it just came spilling out.... Due to my medical history I had loads of appointments in the first trimester so it would have been hard to keep it from her to be honest.
Re midwife appointments in my area all midwife appointments pre 24 weeks are currently telephone only, including the booking appointment.
I think your 'what will be will be' approach is really wise, I definitely felt like that throughout my first trimester and I'm still struggling to believe that we might get to bring home our rainbow baby, though take each passing day / week as a positive. Wishing you all the best and hoping that this is the one!

@SunStruck the thought of your exercise regime makes me feel exhausted! DH and I tried a 'beginners' pregnancy yoga YouTube video today and we found that a struggle, I think 30 flights of stairs would finish me off. We have been enjoying walks around our local area, we're fortunate enough to live on the edge of the countryside so it's only a five minute walk from our suburban home to fields and woodland.

@AnxiousLady1 @Whiffle77 I'm not so much spotty as oily - I have a very shiny face so look 'great' in video chats. Realised today it's probably a month since I last wore make up, I kind of miss getting dressed up for work but also feel incredibly grateful for the ability to live in tracksuit bottoms and leggings....

Hope you've all had a relaxed Easter (and plenty of chocolate, after all you're eating eggs for two this year!)

I just came back from my hourly walk, did 11k steps today and am exhausted! I've noticed how my heart rate is up due to the pregnancy, I'm also more tired than I'd normally be. @SunStruck that's awesome you're still exercising, I'll definitely find something on YouTube. It's so important for our mental wellbeing! I need a routine, especially in lockdown, to stay calm and chilled. Re baby aspirin, my consultant did mention it, but she said that there has been a recent study which contradicted the previous ones regarding its positive effect in early pg (in the context of preventing miscarriage) and she also said she wouldn't prescribe it now unless absolutely necessary because of the CV, apparently it's not recommended now.

@MrsMGE I've also heard that baby aspirin can be counterproductive for women who don't have a known risk factor requiring it. I have to take it for my full pregnancy but it's for my health, not the baby.

Re mental well-being I recommend insighttimer.com for loads of free meditation sessions - I used to be a sceptic but have come to really appreciate how useful a guided breathing exercise and some encouraging words can be when anxiety starts to overwhelm you....

@SunStruck your work out regime sounds killer. I've been really struggling for any motivation, especially because I can't currently do any aerial yoga. However I did a very steady jog on Friday, only did 3 k (in my usual 5 k time) but definitely felt better for getting out, so I'm going to try to do that 2 or 3 times a week. I also really need to get into some pregnancy yoga, I know it will do me good, but I'm enjoying being a slob a bit too much.

Our team have just totally stopped turning our cameras on for video calls, we just use a shared screen now 😂 I think I'm not the only one looking like a slob