April 2009 - Episode 13 - 'I've been looking for the exit for months!'

[Schulte]

Fanjo Warriors, here we are

Auld big butch boxers skip a lot as part of their fitness programmes, so they can't be for girls.

Can you find one with spiders and monsters and Ben10 on it, do you think? Or something like this that has the word SPEED in the title, tres manly, n'est ce pas?

Boff thank you for nice thoughts

And I think Auld's theory is rather good, wih the caveat that I know none of the people involved. I think when the womenfolk are incapacitated, there's only two ways it can go - the menfolk either step up and carry the household and are forced to admit how much they leave to their wives/girlfriends to cope with, or they become incapacitated in some way as well so as not to have to face that truth.

Aha

I am glad I posted

I do not normally say a great deal about DH online for obvious reasons, but it baffled me as to how such a genuinely nice man could be so selfish and not realise it.

I need to sound off a bit more, I think. I do a lot of important things around here with little recognition, but he has been becoming less involved in the house and children of late, getting back into habits he developed earlier in the marriage, namely lying late in on Saturdays and Sundays leaving me to get on with it all more often than is fair, moaning endlessly about his trivial health issues, being rather critical of me sometimes, especially when he has had a pint, and so on. However he still believes he does as much as before and is the prop for the family, but all too often he is inefficiently multitasking in such a way that absolutely nothing gets finished, or it takes too long to be of value, or the important and unimportant get all mixed up and cause problems. For example, he will not get up and dressed in one go, but is in his dressing gown at 1pm still, with a bath run upstairs an hour previously and going cold, a lukewarm cup of tea for both of us festering because he has forgotten about it, and a nappy change for Felix postponed for an hour as well until I end up doing it (again). In that three hours since getting up he will have changed batteries in several remote controls, folded the children's washing off the line (nanny's job), and reorganised the children's lego collection (children's job) or something. This is usually when I am needing help setting the table for lunch, changing a nappy, emptying the bin and possibly ringing one of the children's friends about an imminent play date in an hour's time. If I ask him too often to do the time critical things he starts getting a bit teenagerish and says "Oh, alRIGHT then" and stomps. He then invariably accuses me of being a bossy teacher, regardless of the tone of voice I have used or how calm and polite I have been.

I had noticed this downturn but the dynamic is such that he is officially the saintly one and I am the one who has a tendency to be teacher-like and a bit snappy. Only it has been a bit more the other way around of late, and I think he might be denying the obvious a bit.

Marriages are such complex beasts, are they not? I wish I could do something to make him be a bit nicer. I would mention it to our parents but they all think the sun shines out of his backside (and to be fair, it often does in the bigger scheme of things). But that leaves me feeling a bit I can't get advice when it's all getting on top of me.

Boff doesn't sound easy or nice with your dh. My dh is a bit the same lately. I'm just not up to doing much with everything and he's been whiny and lazy and making ton of work and not taking responsibility for Moo at all. Driving me batty. :( Only thing we can do is talk to them abt it and let them know what's going on with us and what we need from them. And listen when they say the same to us.
Lots of strength and patience to you.

So I went to the Welsh Museum of Life today and someone had woven goods there. I thought I'd give them a look. They were beautiful, but very simply made scarves etc. and I thought. Wow. Cool. and then I looked at the prices ...£50 for a short plain scarf!!! Something that would take me from start to finish even with Moo around only 2hrs...
It really made me think about the 'what if' of making and selling things... can you imagine making say £20/hr working from home?! I could have our debts paid off in only.... about 450 scarves HAHAhahahaHAhaha. I could SO do that!

Do it, bebe! I suppose the outlet is the key. Stuff in museum shops is always pricy, so if you can get a place like that to sell your wares, you're pretty sorted.

WFH, boxers were my great argument, too, but apparently only girls and boxers use skipping ropes, there is no in between stage allowed for 5-yr old boys.

What is driving me mad is that DS1 is at my mum's right now, and he just mentioned on the phone to us that he really wanted a skipping rope. I suspect he has been playing at pirates or fishermen or something with an ancient skipping rope, not bloody skipping (don't think he has the coordination for that).

If I got him one with assassins on it, or that speed one you linked to, he'd probably be disappointed that it wasn't actual rope. I had been wondering whether to just ask DH to lop a length off an old climbing rope for him.

Boff, I'm sorry about the strife. Your DH does indeed appear to be a truly lovely man, it sounds as if he is going through a little teenage patch for some reason. I'm afraid I've just overdosed on the Mentalist again while ironing and am liable to convince myself I have a wild ability to gain incisive insights into other people's lives if I so much as start to think about why he is acting up, so I'll go to bed for now and think about it in the calm of morning.

P.S. Boff, I think he drinks tea because he never sleeps at night, but is not hardcore enough to mainline cofee. And yep, he eats to contribute to his human, accessible image.

(The Mentalist, obv, not your DH )

That is interesting indeed. Mulder never slept at night either, and didn't even get a bed until about series 6 and the Groundhog Day/Bank Robbery/Waterbed incident. I think you may be onto something there.

WRT Mentalist, coffee would not go with the waistcoat either. BTW the actor who plays him looks well fit, I reckon, but disturbingly also like my brother would if he looked after himself. Mixed feelings about that.

Report - DH being really very nice and tiptoing around me a bit, I have ventured downstairs and mended his kimono for him whilst watching Bad Santa. Entente cordiale.

Ah, yes, you see DH thinks the tea-drinking is intended to go with the 3-piece suit, part of a stereotypical gentlemanly look.

Maybe we could organise a conference on "Representations of tea-drinking in contemporary literature and other media". A winner, I reckon...

He is indeed rather fit and that little smile, although used far too knowingly, is potentially devastating. I am also intrigued at the women's bodies in the series. Lisbon has the strangest hip/leg arrangement, and Van Pelt is frankly scary. You just don't get women like her in Provence.

I am glad there is an Entente Cordiale, though mildly curious at your DH possessing a kimono. While we are decoding "looks", that one doesn't fit with my mental image of a Stuart monarch.

Hugs to all who're recovering from ops / illnesses / non sticky pregnancies / life getting too much. All husbands sound the same in that they are completely useless at times and just don't understand how much it is we mums do . I got so angry with DH recently that he threatened to leave me, and he meant it too .

I love this age - 18 months - H is so cute and dues such funny things, I could watch her all day.

I don't have very happy memories of DD1 being 2 yrs old though - it feels like I somehow missed that year between 2 and 3 because I was so busy with H.

Bebe do it, imagine if you could sell your scarves!

Bicnod I'd love to meet up but the question is when, we're so busy renovating the house. Will have a chat with DH though to see if we can do a Sat or Sun some time soon.

BB haven't heard from you re meeting your boss... still interested?

Where has the Doughnut got to?

DH I think probably derives from the swashbuckling clannish side that rampaged all over Scotland fighting, rather than the refained Stuart one.

It was his bachelor pad silk kimono, incidentally. Very fetching.

WRT tea, interesting I wonder if Twinings would sponsor this? I see an academic paper from 1986 on 'The anticarciogenic effects of tea drinking among Dallas school children' so we could even argue there is some related educational research, perhaps.

BTW I have lost track of messages a bit. If anyone else wants to see the Book of Boff, email me at boffinmum at hotmail dot co dot uk and I will send you an electronic copy.

If we worked the expression "Rich Tea" into the conference title, which should be easy enough, maybe McVities (or United Biscuits or whoever owns them now) would also sponsor it.

Goodness, the thread ran away with itself! Or at least I really thought it had, then I realised how much time had passed Honestly, I'm losing track of time so badly right now. I don't think I've ever been busier.

bebe, I didn't know you were having 'non-sticky' problems - I think I made a really insensitive comment on FB fairly recently I'm so sorry.

WFH - I'm glad you feel less stressed now. I hope you find a way of balancing things in a way that suits you (& DH if you can manage )

Boff - sorry DH is being less than helpful. I'm sending a virtual kick in the knackers

I've got this far (& have written the next paragraph already) & wanted to do a full catch up, but it's all been said or I can't focus - it's hurting to breathe. What is that? Am I going to die & not be found for weeks? I'm not sure H would care enough to check on me & he doesn't even have a key. Although DS might get a bit wearing & drive him to try more desperately to return him. I just hope DS doesn't have to deal with seeing my maggot-infested corpse on the sofa [wide-eyed with horror]

WRT meet up - I know we're not decided exactly where we're going (or are we? I think not, anyway ) but are we decided on a general idea? I'm looking to maybe book a hotel room for the 18th & want to be able to stagger wander back fairly easily if possible. & if I do get a room, does anyone want to share? ()

Rich tea, poor tea. Representations and misrepresentations of tea-drinking in contemporary literature and other media.

I think it's a dead cert.

Doughnut, you sound in parlous state. Go to bed and rest.

still owww from this rainy corner.
Boff I hope you are improving and DH is too. Another week off work for me, kids with CM today so not doing much. My DH coping well doing most things but he seems to have an allergy to laundry.

Bloody arse. I cannot keep up.

Boff hope you're well. Second what Auld says.

B52s he probably isn't allergic to laundry - he probably doesn't recognise that it's dirty (?) . Hope you feel less sore too soon.

AA old climbing rope sounds very manly for DS1. How's the knee?

Schulte really? Did he really threaten to leave you?

Doughnut, how's your breathing? Pulled chest muscle?

WFH how are you doing today?

Bebe go for it!

Hello everyone else

All OK here. Full time still crap. DH turning out to be an excellent house husband. I HATE not seeing tiddler more but he seems not to be suffering for it .

Morning!
Zulu, sorry full time is shit, glad your DH is proving domesticated. Knee is waiting for me to organise op. I've been cycling to CM's with A, so I'm not disabled, but it doesn't feel right and I think it could give any time, leading to major damage. I just need to set the op up, really. Am stalling...

DH organised for a local restaurant to deliver a surprise birthday dinner for 2 last night, complete with champagne.
Feeling a little hungover this morning.

Does anyone else's April baby go in for hitting? DS1 didn't do this, and I am finding it increasingly wearing.

Happy birthday Auld!

Felix doesn't hit but he does grab. And other kids seem to let him get away with it.

Free food - see this thread.

£10 top up shop all free

Evening

Stupid Scotland. Nobody delivers anything here.

TW hits, Auld. Hard going, especially when you're supposed to ignore it or something... I'm very impressed with your cycling. Your arthroscopy will be fine - easy day case and hopefully they'll put some local anaesthetic in so you'll be nice and comfy afterwards [hsmile].

erm, Zulu, whaddya mean hopefully? Tell me they are not going to make two holes in my knee and shave half my meniscus off without a local anaesthetic!!!!!

Sorry, I shall rephrase that. You'll have an anaesthetic for the operation. Then the surgeon will hopefully put some local anaesthetic in at the end so you're nice and comfy when the other anaesthetic wears off. Sorry for alarming you [hblush] [hblush].

Nahm they're going to get in there with a hacksaw, Auld. And a turkey baster.