April 2009 - Episode 13 - 'I've been looking for the exit for months!'

[Schulte]

Fanjo Warriors, here we are

Just stopping in to say 'hi.' We've been busy in the bebemoo household. I'm trying to clear out my crafting supplies so I can have a less cluttered house and a spare room for guests visiting.

Hope those of you I don't see on FB are doing well. xx

[Waves] Will be back when I get a chance to breathe.

Bebe, thanks again for feedback on Book of Boff!

I am now laid up with a post-operative infection but I think I might survive.

B52 solidarity, sister.
Hope you feel better soon.

My pleasure Boff.

Sorry to hear abt the post op infection :(
Hope your surgery ok B52

I'll say it here because I cannot say it anywhere else... things are so :( when friends and family get preggy and yet one's own pregnancies are not 'sticky' :( And then when all you really want to do is be in bed and your dd is tearing apart the house...

But at least I've got more time for me to get the house and life in order

Ooops 3 :( is not good
So I have some nice wine :) and yummy pies :) and apple crisp :) for supper. And I've got the next scarf planned :)

That's better. Hopefully the nice Autumn weather holds and we can all get some lovely walks/family time in this weekend. :)

Sorry to hear of your troubles Bebe, but remember you can get pg and have managed to have one so far so this improves your odds no end. Hope that sounds helpful rather than trite.

Have been to consultant again - I am OK and just have a bit of a low level infection, so I have to keep on with the antibiotics. That man is so caring, I think I have a temporary crush on him, poor man.

Thanks Boff. It's what I keep telling myself. AND to be very honest I am very happy with Moo and part of me would be happy to be able to be able to devote myself to just her. However, I do think it would be sad to have such a small family and I would feel sad that she won't have as much family once Dh and I are gone.

lol abt the crush ;)
Moo was so intimidated by the doctor today that I'm sure she's going to be one in the future... :D

Bebe, that need not be a problem, as you can create a family of choice for her, with other close friends and neighbours as she grows older. As long as she knows she is always welcome to have friends back and to sleep over, she will be able to do this.

very true :)

Remember my eldest was an only for a decade, and it really wasn't a problem. In fact it makes it very cheap to go on holiday.

I also think there's some virtue to going back to work, at least part-time, if you have an only, as it dilutes the intensity of the relationship in a helpful way.

Yeah. I'll be going back to uni once the baby days are over (and the debts have been paid off) and then hopefully be able to find some gainful employment.

Sorry about your non-sticky ones, bebe.

You always post about all the cooking and baking you do, it sounds amazing.
What is apple crisp?
And I was looking through an ancient FW thread from my sickbed yesterday, trying to find sth, and you mentioned making cinnamon rolls or buns for breakfast. Would you let me have the recipe?

Boff, hope the infection is clearing. Glad the consultant is caring and crushworthy, makes all the difference to recuperation, I find.

I've not read through the Book of Boff yet, I'm afraid. I've read chunks, but I need to print it off to see it properly, IYSWIM. Will do it soon, though.

I am feeling a bit less crap today really. I am two days into the antibiotics so tomorrow they should really kick in and help. In the meantime I am doing Xmas shopping online but it is very hard to find presents for under a tenner (our budget for the adults) that don't look cheap and have swear words all over them, don't you think?

Apple crisp is like Apple crumble only with oaty/buttery/sugary mixture on top rather than a floury/oaty mixture. It means the top is more crunchy/crisp than the crumbly/loose which seems traditional in British recipes.

cinnamon rolls Mom used to prepare the night before and let it rise overnight and then bake in the morning.

Yea! for antibiotics regimes when you need them

Christmas shopping online for adults is very hard. It usually means a Dvd for us....however this year my side of the family as decided to forego the adult gifts and we're sponsoring another family's Christmas dinner. (However I'm still giving everyone a handwoven scarf as part of my craft clear out.)

Morning all. How's Sunday treating you?

Boff, sorry to hear about infection. Hope your family are waiting on you hand and foot. And how do I lay my hands on a Book of Boff?

Bebe sorry to hear about non sticky babies. Nothing anyone can say will make it feel better, I'm guessing, but have been thinking of you. Oh and I thought British crumble was sugar/butter/flour/oats? I've always made it that way, heavens, am I making Apple Crisp instead?

Puzzle hope you've drawn breath by now - do we need to send oxygen?

Auld 770km drive sounds like a mission and a half! Hope you are ok and would be fab to meet you if we all make it to Christmas meet up

BewitchedNod - have put date in my diary, am hoping to crash with a friend in London so might make it this year, you never know!

B52 hope you're recovering well

NorthernLurker I'm aware I owe you a catch up post!

Things have been a bit rubbish in the FreshHell household. Have just had a week off as was pretty much on the edge of some sort of breakdown, albeit a small one. Too many hours at work, too much childcare, DS1 starting school, Orbit developing an iron will that will not be thwarted, DP being away on business ALL THE TIME, DP's daft brother living with us and causing me much stress and irritation and lots of things got on top of me at once.

Thinking back, it's been pretty non stop since Mum was ill, then they started restructuring my department so we all had to reinterview for our jobs, then I went back to work, then the whole public sector hate fest started and the cuts have been hanging over our head like a sword of Damocles, and even now we don't know the extent of how it will affect us and our department, and quite frankly I've been exhausted and unable to cope.

So the whole throwing in the employment towel was, I think, a way of me taking control back over my life, which seemed to be collapsing around my ears.

So I haven't resigned, although it's not off the table as a suggestion, but we're going to try and make a plan that involves moving somewhere cheaper so we have more options as a family. DP wants to live near water, I want a house that doesn't cost the earth. This might be tricky....plus we have to find a new office for his business, and I don't know which one to find first!

But I feel less stressed and anxious and am not yelling at DS1 quite as much, so things are looking up. Now to try and maintain new serenity in the face of stoooooooooooooopid boss.....

I have just had a row with DH

He told me off for being on MN the whole time and being sharp with him.

I am on MN because I feel ill and a bit out of it. Plus he has been lying in bed a lot (2 naps a day in the last week he has been off supposedly looking after me) and being sharp with me. The kids think that too.

I am not up to having arguments and I genuinely don't think I am being princessy. I am not happy. I feel taken for granted. Apparently so does he.

But I was the one who had our sons and ended up tired and damaged and needing repair. And I am the one who, even though I work similar hours to him, rushes home and does the bulk of the evening stuff so he can do his amateur dramatics and /or leave work a bit later and not lose face. I also do nearly all of the toilet cleaning, errands and domestic supervision in this house and he has just been telling me how I am getting it wrong and how I could plan things better etc etc. yada yada.

I am not having a very good day.

Oh, crap Boff. That sounds grim.

IIRC, he came over all ill when your SPD was at its worst. Do you think his naps are similar, i.e. that he's very worried about you, and that flaking out is his weird coping mechanism? I think men get a bit freaked out when their womenfolk fall ill, as they realise just how much the latter actually do. Maybe he's feeling guilty? Is the suggestion that your planning is iffy a sign that he realises you're doing more than your share, feels bad about it without being prepared to sacrifice his gains, and is seeking a way to shift the guilt? Not that that naff attempt at analysis of Boffdom helps much in the aftermath of your row.

WFH, you don't sound as if you are having much fun either.

18mths is rough. One of my friends sent me a card when DS1 turned 2, saying 'you've survived the very hardest years, it does get easier from now on".

bebe, thanks for the recipe.

Crumble doesn't have oatflakes in. And I speak as a Scot, one of that ilk who bung oatflakes in anything.

P.S. to distract you all from your woes, I need some input into the latest difference of opinion/ cultural gulf bteween DH and me.

Are skipping ropes only for girls? In combination with pink radish costumes and a pinkish plastic cover on a jotter at age 4, will they permanently affect a boy's sexual identity?

TIA

between

(I am typing in bed, have been watching the Mentalist. DH brought it home from the supermarket last night as a birthday present for me, but decided to open it himself as he knew he'd watch it all before I had time to and I would be cross. It is very cheesy and somehow perfect for a flu-ey Sunday afternoon.
DH is meant to be watching A, but I suspect he has fallen asleep on the sofa. I am waiting until I hear a loud crash/crying/an explosion before intervening. ABIU? )

Thought I'd add another post and see if I could get onto most active all by myself...

I think you are onto something there, Auld. Normally DH is niceness itself and generous to a fault but tbh he can be a bit funny if I am ill like this.

He has however been nice since I did my post. I refused to give in and apologise like normal as I genuinely don't think I have grounds for this.

On another note, I am a big mentalist fan and indeed use some of the more obvious tricks in meetings when I get bored, and it works well.

What is your theory on why he drinks tea and eats the whole time? Is it so he looks unthreatening at key points?

On yet another note I am a bit worried about WFH but relate to this as I felt I was about to explode in January when I had no childcare and nobody seemed to give a flying fuck. Life can be very tough sometimes. I hope she is OK.