Helllllllooooo
Blimey I've missed tons, am sooo sorry. This being back at work malarkey is certainly interesting. I'm more knackered than I have been in ages, but its fab finally being back with people I can chat to, especially not about babies (well, patients aren't included), have lunch in a civilised manner - even go for a wee! With the door locked!!! My desk was a mess, piles of notes everywhere (for no reason so I've sent them all back to medical records, haha), stuff not ordered from pharmacy that I needed in clinic, all that sort of thing, but everyone is so pleased to see me, it's lovely. I've had tons of hugs and kisses, soooo..... am thinking of NOT being a SAHM and working part time. DH, I think, is a wee bit pissed off, as it shatters his dreams of living in the Cotswolds, but only for now. I think I'll go mad if I don't work for a bit...
However, DH and I aren't getting on at all - so, so many arguments about so many petty things. Last week when I was at work, M was at my parents, so we took advantage and went out for dinner both nights. First night, we went to a nice Italian. I (in hope) put on swanky undies, a load of slap and swanky clothes. All he could do was moan about the loud people in the corner and how much it was going to cost him. I even offered to pay (even though I earn less than half he does when I work FULL time, so a pittance now I'm PT, but still) and he just shook his head and I got 'that look' so most of the meal was eaten in silence. Next morning he was as bright as a button again so we said we'd go to the local gastropub that night, and I said I would pay. Well, we got there, and guess what, he moaned and got huffy about the fact that we had to eat in the bar area (which was fine by me cos I got to sit on a squishy sofa) and not the restaurant area. More silence. More moans about how much my glass of wine cost. Another night in bed where you could fit a bloody London bus between us. Another argument last night, about God knows what he was just in a strop, so he was in the dining room all evening on the laptop whilst I watched telly. And he's so bloody tight. He earns nearly 80 grand a year, and when I was off on mat leave with no money, I had to give him half the money towards the grocery bill at Christmas because it was my family coming. Out of my savings. I am SO fed up with it, I am really wondering what on earth I was thinking setting up life with this moody, bigoted, rude, sulky man. Guess I'm now stuck. Everything is fine if he's in a good mood, but when he's not, pah. He only told me recently - like a couple of months ago - that he tried to kill himself a few years ago and was in hospital for depression. Now I come across as such a cow, don't I? God, I'm miserable today. Moan, moan, moan. Sorry.
And on top of that, I have just organised my op to have my piles removed. Yes, I suffered the indecency of some bloke (ie the surgeon) shoving a tube up my arse with a camera thingy - I said the F word very loudly, I couldn't help it) who said they were all too big to inject in clinic (WTF?!!) and I have to have them removed under a GA. All booked for the 28th. Watch this space....
On that bum note, (haha) I'm off to get some ironing done, but just wanted to say a big hello to Dandy (have fb'd you) and am so glad the pg's are going well for Headless and Spangle...and Belgina - have I missed something about your work, or is it a general ugh feeling you are having? Can't believe our babies are all turning one... we are going to the zoo for M's birthday on Friday if DH is in a good enough mood....
Oh, and M has a cold. She nows crawls and cruises everywhere, charges up the stairs but can't do down very well. Now says mumumumum (about bloody time, after all this time saying bloody dadadada) and ssssge for sausage (), tssst for toast, and ddsss for Darcy (my parents dog), claps on demand (!) and points. Where on earth has all this come from?!!