May 2009 - one year on

[Tummum]

Here you go ladies...

Sssshhhh. Its me, the one with nothing on the top of her body!! Not sure if I shall keep this name but I happened to be eating a packet of smokeybacon crisps at the time and I am rather partial to a bacon sandwich most days at the moment!!

saus and pula so sad to see you are both having DH problems. I can't add anything to what has already been said. Talk talk talk though.

tum and grr re your DHs job. Is there any news on your situation/interviews yet?

blotted I will have a peek at your blog to see if pic of hair(or lack of) is there yet and well done for coming off the ADs.Please be careful though won't you?

flip a little LOL at the scooter and hairbrush stand off. God the things that are important to them!? I remember having a stand off in the park once with DS1, he wanted to go one way and I had to go the other (for various reason). I could have caved and gone his way I suppose as it would only have added 10 mins to our walk, but it then became important to me not to bend to his tantrum. Hence lots of looks and a 20 minute tantrum. Hmmmmm. Not easy this parenting lark is it??

Anyway, twin update. Had the CVS yesterday. Our consultant persuaded them to let us have it (didn't take much by all accounts as the committee could clearly see the gap we fell in). All went well although it wasn't pleasant. Not painful but uncomfortable. I have a bit of residual discomfort this morning but nothing too bad. I have complete confidence in my consulant and so have no worries that the procedure will cause any upset itself. We just have to wait the results now. Fri possibly but more likley late Monday afternoon.

They both were jumping about yesterday on the scan and have grown a cm in a week. They are also measuring bang on for my dates.

Just read my post back- some bits didn't make a lot of sense as i was a bit tired. I should clarify that the messy house wasn't due to me making a mess whilst i was off- it was mess already there, and i was as i had done some tidying when i got out of my sick bed because i knew it would be something he'd be grumpy about- might as well have not bothered.

Well, S was up a lot in the night, alternating calpol and nurofen every 2-3 hours, and this morning he had some spots/blisters on his ankles and palms so I've booked to see a GP but could be hand, foot and mouth although it has spread up his legs and he's rashy on his tummy/back too. Could be a post-viral rash too? So yet another day off work.

Glad you're back .

Anyway look, v quick post. I just resigned from work

We worked out that it was costing us more than £100 a month for me to work. It was not the job I thought I would have, so I resigned. Just like that .

I'm still a bit but am going to do some stuff for DH for a while and find some money to open a cake shop decide what I want to do

S is grumbling - back soon

And

saus sorry you are having woes with your DH. Definitely talk about it. Money is one of those things you need to agree about (even if it's agree to differ). Going back to work pt sounds like a good move.

belgina sorry work is getting you down. Try to keep in mind it's not you, it's the working environment (I was going to say 'them' but it's not always just the people that make somewhere depressing to work). At least you have an escape plan, even if it means hanging on in there for a few months.

Dandy good to see you back!

Tummum sorry to hear about your DH's company. Have you heard anything more about your potential new jobs?

pula I hope both you & S get better soon. Grr to your DH moaning about mess. Mind you I have the opposite problem with mine, he would probably just ignore it until I felt better

blotted well done dropping the ADs - hope you start to feel better for it. I had a peek at your blog and got all pregnantly hormonal and tearful reading your lovely birthday message to E.

smokeybacon hope you are getting plenty rest following the CVS. I hope you get the results tomorrow, good ones of course, so you don't have to worry about it over the weekend. I must admit the testing is the thing I'm most nervous about this time and the potential decision we may have to make. Obviously just knowing there is a baby in there and it's alive and ok part is on my mind a lot, but I'm not quite as stressed about that as I was last time, as at that point I was worried if something went wrong whether we would end up having a child at all as it took so long to get pg. I don't know if that makes sense.

I'm supposed to be on leave today but am going to end up working at least half of the day I think. At least I can wear comfy clothes - I'm getting really bloated in the afternoons and am struggling to find things to wear at work. I daren't buy anything until after my scan though (2 weeks on Monday).

grumpy x-post. Woo hoo on resigning from work - and yessss you MUST open a cake shop!

grumpy- a free agent- good for you. I can see that if it's costing money for you to work, it seems a bit pointless, especially if you can start a new venture and make some cakes and money! I am that childcare for DS1 and DS2 is costing almost £1100 a month and thats for just 3 days a week (before having S, DD and DS1 were only there 2 days a week and DD had some free childcare vouchers). Not sure i am saving any money each month with the mortgage and bills and new clothes things for the house.

Oops, i got distracted from what i came on to say which is DS2 has hand foot and mouth which means no contact with other DCs until his spots/ulcers clear which could be a week so I might have to cancel York next Fri if he's still spotty next Thursday .

Better go put mr grumpy to bed, poor love .

Dandy My Dad is the Internation Chairperson for something to do with Blackcurrents and comes over each year to be key note speaker at a conference in Europe. He is a Horticultural Advisor in NZ and he mainly deals with grapes and blackcurrents. He does not speak french so goodness knows how he came across on the telly. He's on Countryfile (tv prog) everyweek in NZ.

We are only arriving in NZ at the end of January but if dates work out we should definately have a meet up. I'll be in Christchurch.

Smokey Glad test was ok and hope the results come in soon for you.

Spangle My DH would be the same and leave everything until I'm back on my feet .

Hi everyone else

grumpy good for you girl! And def yes to the cake shop. Will you do mail order for us idiots that cannot bake for toffee???

pula poor S, poor you. Thats rotten for you both. Hope it clears up soon.

spangle good to see you and glad to see the pg is progressing well. I felt the same FWIW and although have received a nice package from ASOS with new maternity clothes in, they are all still in the bags till the test results are back. But I'm at the annoying stage now where my normal clothes are pretty much too tight and maternity stuff is too big (although I did don some of my old jeans from R on Sunday to eat Sunday lunch in!). And your worries make complete sense!

Right better go and get shoes on. School run time!

Ooops. Am name changing all over the place. Sniff the air a la grumpy and you'll notice the porky whiff. LOL. SOrry for confusing you all.

Am confused - tootired I need another clue!

Thanks everyone (on here and fb, and I promise I shall reply to you asap) for the hugs and squidges, cake, (flip), lovely kind words (dandy) and agreements that DH can be a twat disagreeable person at times. We actually sat down and had a big talk the other night (mostly about money!) - his divorce I think has not only left him slightly high and dry - ok, not massively, but his Dad lent him £40,000 to buy his ex out of the house. In hindsight he wishes he sold the house when they split but he admitted that he was hanging on to the one thing left that he owned and had worked towards. Which is good in one way, but now we can't sell the bloody thing (44 viewings so far, not one offer, and we've reduced it twice - and for anyone nosey here it is (ok the decor isn't great, it's a bloke's taste remember, but it's my squishy sofa and you can just about see our ukulele in it's bag in the dining room) (nudge to tummum there) Another reason he wants to sell is to give the dosh back to his Dad and get him off his back...

Anyway, the lack of sale of the house is stressing him up to his armpits and I have told him he can't take it out on me and he knows it and is very sorry. Also, the house being his and his ex's doesn't help much either. (Talking of which, AIBU to be slightly when DH puts a comment on his FB page and she always responds?!!! He said he'd defriend her but then I'd think she'd email him then.... not that I have anything to worry about, as apparently she is a lesbian now. Hm) See, that niggles me too (not that she's a lesbian), the fact that he is still in touch with her. Apparently she was the only one who knew about his (ahem) 'attempt' and got him through it - I mean, this was post divorce!

Sigh. I know we still have a lot of talking to do, but I think little steps are better than a giant jump in and making a big splash. His parents don't make his life easier either. They wanted to come down tomorrow for M's birthday. I said no, I wanted a day just the three of us out at a zoo-y type thing. Apparently they are accusing him of making obstacles for them to not see M! DH then suggested next weekend which I also said no to, as I will be coming out of hospital Saturday morning after having half my arse removed. (OWOWOWOWOW)

Hm. That's a load off my chest there. I thank you.

Smoky - I like the name! Is it frazzles you are eating? Glad the scan went well and the CVS wasn't too bad...

Spangle - will be thinking of you in a couple of weeks..

Grumpy can I help in the cake shop? I can make my spesh chocolate thing and the jaffacakecakecakecake

Pula - hope the spots go! Sorry to hear you are feeling pants, and sorry to hear about DH probs too. They can be such arses, can't they?!

Sorry if I've forgotten anyone.... Belgina, hows work...? Do you have clinical supervision there? Find out about it, I strongly recommend it.

Wow, it's amazing how much you can get done when your baby is snoozing!

S'later......

(thanks everyone again.....) x

Evening all,

saus sorry you are having such a crap time with DH, no sensible advice to offer as I am pretty useless when it comes to things like this, especially in written form too but I hope that you can sort it out in whatever way is best for you. Happy birthday to M for tomorrow too

tootired glad tests went ok, good vibes coming your way for the results too.

Good wishes to you too spangle for the imminent scan.

pula you sound like you are having a pretty pantsy time of it too what with all the illnesses and the like. Hope the spots go quickly and you are feeling better soon.

Belg how are you doing today? I have no advice other than to make sure you are looking after yourself so if you are feeling physically ill about going to work, it might be worth a little trip to your GP to discuss your concerns. Remember, you are still working on a little bit of sleep deprivation too which in itself is a nightmare let alone with a very responsible job too.

tum any news about your job?

grumpy you go girl I think I've mentioned it before but my dream is to open a little cafe/cake shop by the sea. Go for it!

febes ooh get you with your afternoon delight!!

hiya to dandy, llare, blotted, flippin and everyone else I might have missed.

Oh and still no period but still not tested. Not sure when to really - my last three cycles have been 21, 23 and 24 days and today is day 28...

Test, test, test!

Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest! NOW!

Btw, I have just re-read my post - I didn't mean to sound flippant re: the amount that DH owed his Dad - 40K is TONS - I meant in a way as he didn't owe banks and cards and loan sharks and such, instead of 'just' his Dad. Hope that makes sense....

...... and I'm being thick, aren't I? Tootired is smoky..... duuh...

teeeeessssttttt now!!!

saus Lol, I'd caught on that smoky is tootired I understood what you meant with your DH and the money. Glad to hear you guys had a good chat. at his mum and dad saying that he's making it difficult for them to see M.

tootired That's how I feel. Glad the CVS went well. Now fingers crossed for the results

grumpy Woooohooooo no more job!!!! Go for the cake business, go for it!!

spangle hope scan date comes rounds soon.

pula How are you? Did you get a gro anywhere blind? Mine arrived yesterday and it was lovely to be woken by C at 4.30 and it was actually dark in the room! And I went straight back to sleep too!

Thanks everyone for your advise and support. It's so nice to have a place like this to have a little breakdown. We do have a councelling service at work, ran by occy health. I have thought about getting in touch, but I'm feeling better now I'm actually back there. I'll see how I am once I'm on LW again.

C's now sleeping much better than before. Going to 4.30-5 the last few days, considering that until fairly recently it was 1-3-5, I'm very very happy. Today also for the 1st time ever she started crying right after bedtime and she was sitting up in her cot by the footend and was stuck. I know most of your babies are way more advanced than that, but in Casa Belgina this was very exciting (and kind of cute) news. She's now also a whopping 27lbs! C's just suddenly really coming on, grabbing my pen to scribble, playing chase and peek-a-boo. It's like her starting to crawl was the beginning of a big boom of development. Every day she's doing something new, after months and months of sitting still and not doing much TBH.

running - test girl!!!! Sounds promising

tootired - glad CVS went ok. All crossed for results.

saus - that situation re finances with DH sounds v difficult to say the least. Little steps definitely a good start.
I had a nosey at the house and I'm suprised you've not had much interest. Seems to be a good location and nothing wrong with decor. Hope something crops up soon for you.

Belgina - hope you're feeling better?

Pula - hope things pick up for you too and spots clear up. Would be a shame not to meet you and S in York next Fri!

Grumpy - yay for handing in notice and cake shop dreams

Febes - wow! Your Dad is like proper famous in NZ and the world of fruit farmimg

Tummum - do I sense good news about your job?

Hello Dandy , Llare , Spangle , Blotted , flip and anyone else I've missed!

DH and I have just booked a weekend away to Bath. A company DH works with bought it for us when O was born. We had a debate as to whether to take O with us or leave him with my cousin but we're taking him and taking advantage of the hotel baby sitting service both evenings. It's a v posh hotel and I'm going to make full use of spa facilities

Wow! It;s been quiet for days, all kicking off now

running, you have to test - if only for OUR peace of mind .

grumpy - yay to the job! Scary and liberating at the same time. If you ever decide to open a branch of your Cake Emporium in the wilds of East Anglia I'm your woman.

ses - hotel sounds fab.

tootired glad the test went ok, hope the wait for the results is ok, and of course the rsults themselves.

tummum - good news? Big decisions?

toddler stand-offs. Sigh. Again. Today it was handwashing after using the potty. I really will not cave in on that one, I could have let the hairbrushing go I suppose, but tootired, you're right, once you've started you can't really go back. Yesterdays was quite funny really, it ended up with me in her bedroom, her in mine, and her shouting across the landing at me, things like 'I'm bored now mummy', and 'can I have a biscuit please'! She did eventually give in, but it was about 25 minutes.

belgina 27lbs? Oh my word! What a lot of squishy baby that is.

sausage - families, money, relationships, complicated stuff. Glad you've at least started the talking, hope things go ok.

pula - hope the HFM clears up soon and easily.

febes - lol at your celebrity dad (sorry!). My dad is a published author - a fascinating medical book of very limited interest!

12 more hours of temporary single parenting! I have enormous admiration for people who do it permanently.

I'm sat here with a glass of wine and a bag of crisps . actually, v good offer - lovely sauvignon blanc/semillon, french, from Sainsburys; currently half price so £4.99! Bargain, will be stocking up I think. Anyway, it's gorgeous weather, I've still got the back door open, the girls are are both asleep...phew.

That's all taken ages to type, I wonder how many cross posts?!

dandy - sorry to hear about DD1, hopefully the phase will pass soon. Although being told it's a phase isn't very helpful is it, sorry.

We're not going to be in to welcome DH home! DD1 has gor conjunctivitis so I need to take her to the drs, managed to get an appt this morning which is good though.

Terrible night last night, A was awake for 2 hours! Not particulalry grumpy or anything, just wide awake and crawling round my bed. Then DD1 woke A and I up at 6, we'd only been asleep an hour or so. Yawn.

Flip Well done for coping so well while DH was away. Its hard being everything to DCs. I hope DD1s eyes get better soon.

Dandy A personal trainer?? Tell me more.

Belgina Well done C on sleep and developments lately.

R is a very early talker and has said apple, car and shoe this week in context (pointed at his foot while saying shoe). This is amazing to me as DD was a late talker and didn't start saying these sort of words until she was 2.

flip- i bet you can't wait for your DH to come home! Well done you for coping with 2 DDs for such a long time. If my DH is away it's generally only 1 night, and if longer, I usually get my mum or MIL to help out as I find it so hard on my own.

febes - I've never had an early talker so it must be very exciting. It's lovely to hear about all the babies having developmental spurts like "belgina's C and sausage's* M. S is really coming on too- he's started the pointing thing and making sounds like he's talking. He can say "g" as he does a sign for "gone" when he throws his cup/food off his high chair table and likes to play peekaboo with a muslin over his face and sounds like he's trying to say "peeka" and "boo".

Well S slept a bit better last night but his spots have become big blisters on his hands and look really sore, although he's not complaining [brave boy emoticon]. I am now feeling like i've never been poorly, so much happier .

Febes That's excellent! Greer is quite an early talker too - so far we've had cat, dog, woofwoof, Erica (!) and she applies Mama & Daddy correctly. It's amazing in comparison to my other three little sods who didn't bother talking until they were much older.

Dandy Aha! Your DDs card made me laugh but only because I have two boys who do much the same thing. Kids are so bizarre when they get to school age aren't they? Too big for kisses but not so big that they don't miss the odd kiss here and there ;)

Flippin I loved my period of being a single parent purely because I got the weekends all to myself ;) Seriously though, well done you - I certainly couldn't do it solo these days.

Saus YANBU. I hate that my DH is friends with his ex on FB but I can't really say much about it since my ex comes into our house every week to collect DS1. I hope things get easier for you soon xx

Running TEST!

I've just been called away but I'll be back later to finish ;) xx

Hi all just quick post from me as DH running v late so I've got all of 5 mins to myself.

Tested this morning.... negative and one hour later period arrived Feel but as we're not really trying seriously I feel a bit stupid for feeling like it. Shows I really want another one I suppose!

sorry can't NC as really need to go. Later ladies x

running sorry it was a BFN and I can understand why you feel a bit . Fingers crossed that things will happen for you in the next few months, and it is a positive sign that at least your cycle is a bit longer than the first few as short cycles aren't great for TTC anyway.

belgina i meant to say earlier i got our gro anywhere blind this week. The first night S slept all the way through until 6am (only the 2nd time EVER) but it was probably not related, and then with having hand foot and mouth, sleep has been rather disturbed.

Are there any babies out there that still don't say "mama"? Although DD never said dada and then once she was 18 months or so her name for DH was "nangnang" which she used for a good while. Then suddenly he just became "daddy"- kids eh?

Right back, can try to nc now.

blotted loving the pic, new 'do is v classy. Been meaning to say that I hope the new ventures are going well.

dandy sounds like you had a fab day 'up west'. Sorry you are having a tough time with dd, fingers crossed it is a phase which passes soon. Also, I now have a picture of your Dad as an old-fashioned circus strongman, complete with handlebar moustache. Please tell me I am right

belg glad you are feeling a bit better, am loving hearing about C's development, its funny how they seem to do lots in short bursts.

febes and others re talking - A hasn't got many words yet but has pretty well-developed understanding. Can point to her head if we ask where her head is, says miaow if we see a cat or picture of one and can point out the Gruffalo and mouse in the book. She says daddy a lot but only Mum when she is upset

ses weekend sounds lovely. We almost moved to Bath a while back, I love it there. In fact we may still move in that direction someday.

pula thanks for your kind words. I hope S gets a good night's sleep tonight and is better soon.

saus hope you have had a fabulous day with M. Happy Birthday to the gorgeous little lady

Right, can't remember what else I wanted to say so hello to everyone else!

There is a cold glass of vino (one benefit of a BFN!) and a DVD of the Wire calling me. We've only just discovered it and are hooked... and shh don't tell DH but I have the teensiest crush on McNulty.