May 2009 - one year on

[Tummum]

Here you go ladies...

Just bookmarking.

febes Brave you for stopping BF. I'm saying brave, as I know I couldn't. I let all mine self wean and same with C. I have a feeling she'll be the longest feeding, because she's the only one asking for it during the day at this stage. I'm not sure about stopping BF helping you loose weight though. That's not been my experience so far anyway. I hope you don't mind telling you.

ses about your dad. I hope he's OK. That's just like what my GM had in Nov. They fixed her though and she's still healthy now. Sending lots of healing vibes to your dad

Ses Ha can't do the 20th as I have a work lunch but could do 27th?? Hope your dad is ok and you are coping with your mum.

Belgian I felt a tiny bit full today and tender but only when knocked by my rough n tumble DCs. Not sure if giving up will effect my weight loose but I'm more hoping my boobs reduce in size a bit (G cup) and I have been wearing underwire bras so a pain to whip my boobs out to feed.

I've just been over to meet DH. He is ground crew at Hampton Court Flower show and has been there for 3 weeks setting it up. I'm going again on wed to have a look at the flower show DH will be working but is getting me a pass and will be able to show us around as long as he has his walkie talkie on.

belgina- i agree- I'm sure i've put on weight when i've stopped BF but i'm sure that's because i still kept eating the extra calories . I stopped feeding DD at 8mo as she was so fussy on the boob i was expressing and eventually i wasn't doing it enough so just moved to FF. With DS1 i stopped at 11mo as i wanted to TTC and needed my periods to start, but i'm in no hurry to get them back this time . I think my S would soon forget Febes as when i'm not around he just has a cup of cows milk before bed and in the morning, so R might be fine in a few days. And with DS1 i think i may have offered him the boob after a few days and he wasn't bothered.

ses- sorry to hear about your dad - hope he's OK.

momino- try not to be too hard on yourself. I feel about how i treat my DCs sometimes - shouting (yes, and making them cry too), refusing them cuddles when they've been annoying me and so on. But then they have a lovely day and all the bad stuff is forgotten. I really struggle to know how to tackle their behaviour sometimes, especially when DD and DS1 are fighting or even worse running rings round me. Anyway, hope you have a lovely birthday .

Febes - 27th sounds good. I just need to confirm with work diary.
Hampton Court Flower Show visit sounds good. I bet you're feeling it with DH away.

Ok, so Friday was my day off work this week and at 8.30am as O and I were having breakfast I noticed a message on the answerphone from my mum from Thurs evening so I phoned her back.
Transpires she'd phoned me to ask my advice as to whether she should phone for an ambulance for my dad (although she didn't say that in her message). Dad had been out for the day with a friend and arrived home about 5.30pm. He managed to get up the steps to the front door and once in the hallway fell rather dramatically and then dragged himself into the downstairs toilet.
Mum was sitting in the lounge and saw all of this from her chair but decided he must be drunk so didn't go to him for about 15mins! (To be fair - I think I've mentioned - my dad is an alcoholic so this would be an understandable assumption. However he is not anywhere near as bad as he used to be 10yrs ago when he was sectioned for a while because of it).

Anyway, he was down on the floor and couldn't get up and was being sick. At this point mum phoned me to see if she should call an ambulance (I'd have said yes!) but I didn't answer so she didn't as Dad didn't want her to. After an hour he managed to get upstairs on all fours and he went straight to bed but still couldn't stand and was being sick every so often.

The next morning when I phoned, he was still struggling to stand but thought he didn't need to see anyone as he could walk 3 steps holding on to his Dad's old walking sticks! Mum couldn't decide what to do so I told her to phone GP or hospital. In the end she got a home visit from GP who phoned 999 as she was concerned he was being sick due to a GI bleed. They've done a load of blood tests at hospital and he is having an endoscopy tomorrow. They also x-rayed his foot and he's fractured the bottom of his tibia at his ankle - I guess when he fell - and will need to be in plaster for 6 weeks!

What I struggle with is my mum's reactions. Why didn't she just phone for an ambulance on the Thurs evening? Friday, she didn't think that my brothers would want a phone call to let them know what was happening until the evening. Also yesterday, first of all she didn't phone the hospital at all in the morning before visiting at 3pm to see how he was and she told me she's glad he's in hospital as it's easier without him at home.

Oh also, in the middle of all this, she was saying how the stress of it all was giving her angina and she's self-diagnosed ehrself with carpal tunnel syndrome.
Now I'm sorry, I know angina can be severe but no-one in the family ever believes her after the time she said "I'd been having an angina attack for about a week and I was in the opticians when it suddenly got worse. I finished choosing my glasses and then went to the doctor" Sorry, true angina would mean you were unable to think about choosing glasses!

I know they've not had an easy marriage - mainly because of his alcoholism but he has been so much better the last 10yrs and they do seem to enjoy eachothers company. He loves her very much too - just struggles to show it.

I went and saw him with O on Friday afternoon and if O wakes up before 4pm from his nap, we may go this afternoon.

I'm rambling now, sorry!

I guess we'll wait and see what they say after the endoscopy...

Sorry - that was a bit long. Don't feel you have to read it!

Ses Your poor dad!! Sounds like an awful situation all round.

ses What a story. I hope your dad gets better soon. From seeing your story I can understad why you're about your mum's reaction.

Hmm, can't remember what else I wanted to say. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend We went to a local festival thing (free too). That was lovely, especially wth the nice weather.

Right got to do something useful now. Got to have a look through my portfolio and get it on order before my supervisory tomorrow.

Evening all. Hope everyone has had lovely weekends

Ses sending get well soon vibes to your Dad. I can understand you being about your Mum's reactions. Does sound a bit un-prioritised to me - maybe she's thinking of it not being too serious so dealing with it that way IYKWIM ?

Momi just had to send you a hug. Please try to remember to cut yourself some slack looking after 3 is really hard and getting through the day is an achievement in itself. Somehow I am finding 3 much more tricky than 2 DC. This weekend, all 3 hurt themselves at the same time (it involved a bike crash!) and only me there and I didn't know who to pick up first. I wish I could be someone who laughs in those situations, but instead I got really cross with myself for not dealing with it properly. Anyway, I'm bleating on about myself when I intended to give you some support. So have some more hugs.

Febes well done for giving up BF-ing. I gave up at 6 months because I found it quite restrictive to be the only one able to feed. And I wanted my body back. I was a G when feeding but now I'm an E and hoping to get to a DD.

Belgina hope the supervisory goes OK

So, California (baby!) is looking promising (momi, it's btwn San Francisco Bay and Sacremento area.) DH is off out there for a week in 2 weeks. but also as I met my new boss for my new boss on Friday and it looks like a dream job for a dream company to work for. I'm crapping myself that they'll find out I'm rubbish at my job as I've realised it's a massive post with lots of scope to cock it up. So I'm caught between wanting to stay here for the good job for me and moving to an amazing location and not working just looking after the DC. Sorry. Blethering on again.

I'm watching (recorded) Muse at Glasto, and wondering whether it would be madness to go next yr with the kids in the caravan. I think I'm chasing my youth!

Hey Pula Fi Smokey Looby Llare and anyone else I've forgotten. Sorry for the self centred post.

Evening all!

Well, what a weekend I've had. Its our anniversary so we persuaded the in-laws to look after the boys for the day while we enjoyed a romantic day out. Only a thieving bastard broke into my car so we spent the morning getting it fixed. Still, we managed to have a lovely afternoon in the Peak District with a trip to Chatsworth. It was fab and well worth a visit if you haven't been. I've also made a decision about work. I'm going to work another 3 months in my job, together with some intensive work on DH's business. After 3 months we are going to review to see if my added input has made a difference and if it has I'm resigning from work. Hurrah! I'm so pleased. If it hasn't made a difference then I'll cry...

Momino have a hug, please. Three children sounds like they'd test the patience of a saint and my nearly 4 year old can be tiring indeed. Be gentle on yourself.

TUmmum I'm so pleased that California is looking promising, though I'd love it if you stayed around this neck of the woods. But what an opportunity!

Febes I've heard that stopping breastfeeding does help shift those last few pounds in some women.

flip any news from the viewings? Fingers crossed for you.

Ses how is your father today? I can definitely sympathize with the frustrating mother thing. Is she usually indecisive? I find that my mother is getting worse as she gets older. I must admit that I probably would have assumed drinking was the issue if my DH was still dependent and probably have ignored it too, so I can possibly see where she might be coming from.

Hello to everyone else. Belgina that was a delightful story on facebook, btw.

Moan alert
DH and I had a lovely randy few weeks a month ago and took massive risks so I was very pleased to get my period. Anyway it kick started me to sort some contraception out so I got 6 months of cerazette (mini pill) and started taking it on the first day of my period so we could bonk away with peace of mind . So 2 weeks in I had a week of absolute terrible PMT and was so depressed and shouty and felt terrible. Then I began break through bleeding/spotting which went on for 2 weeks and gradually got heavier more like a normal period. I have been bleeding for 3 weeks now and have period pains the whole time as well as thrush the whole time. I have just started the second month of the cerazette. The PMT only lasted a week but it was extreme and horrible. Also because of all the bleeding we haven't been doing any bonking at all!!

I don't know whether to stop pill or change pill. We want to TTC after christmas so don't want anything implanted. Don't want to use condoms. ]]''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

[olllloppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
Sorry that was DD .

Anyway enough of my moan. I'm trying to make a doc appointment now to see what he says.

Tummum California baby!! Glad you are excited about your new job. Hard to know what to do but I'm sure the right decision will be clear when you look at all the pros and cons.

Llare Happy anniversary! at twat who broke into your car. Did they take anything?

febes Sounds to me like the Cerazette doesn't suit you. None of your symptoms sound normal after starting a pill. Now you're stopping BF, you could try and go on a combined pill of some sort. Hope you get a drs visit sorted soon.

tummum How exciting about the California possibility getting more concrete. And nice to hear that you're getting excited about your new job. I'm sure you wont dissapoint them

llare Great news about your decision re your job. Those 3 months will fly by My DS can be really sweet, can't he. It did make me laugh a little when he came down, because I thought he'd got scratched by the cat or something (the usual reason for crying at that time of night)

momi I'm with Tumm. Looking after 3dcs at the same time on your own isn't always easy. Hope you had some nice me time as well this weekend.

Better go now. I'm meant to do some useful researchy type activities on tinternet at the moment, not MN-ing, FB-ing etc...

Just been to the doc (he's so lovely) and he said to stick with it and it should settle down and could take 3 months. I hope it does.

Febes - glad you saw GP. Sounds really unpleasant. Do go back if things don't improve.

Belgina - hope your supervisory went well. I also thought the story about your DS was really cute.

Tummum - yay for California becoming more of a possibility!

Llare - glad you had a nice romantic day out despite your car being broken into. I've never been to Chatsworth and it's meant to be lovely.
Great that you've got a plan re work. I'm sure you're added input will make a difference!

Thanks for all your words of support re my parents. I think I need to cut my mum a bit of slack but she frustrates me so much I find it v hard!

I can understand Mum feeling angry and wanting to offload but I wish she'd not offload on me! She does have plenty of friends she could pick up the phone too. He is my Dad and for all his faults and past hurts, I love him.

Update is that he's coming home tomorrow! They decided not to do an endoscopy and are treating it as a one off which we're all a bit about as goodness knows what's happening in his pickled stomach!
They've given him a walking frame and DH has been round tonight to move the spare single bed downstairs for him to sleep on.

Bookmarking.

How is everyone? xx

evening all. just back from a bookclb (ses at our mutual friend's -'twas lovely) and wanted to catch up with you all.

ses, so glad your dad is better and coming home. hope he continues to improve and that it is a one-off.

tummum, that is my favourite area of calif. I hope you do go and I want to go as well! My bro lives around there near Fulsom (as in Johnny Cash) and loves it. keep us updated.

febes, glad you saw the GP and hope it does settle down.

Belgina, hope you're getting some research done now . and yes, I did get some 'me' time today.

DH took the day off work, we hired a small boat on the Ouse for a half hour which was fun and then he and the girls left me in town to spend some of my Zara vouchers. bliss.

llare, happy Anniversary! Sounds like a lovely afternoon in the peak district - I'd love to go to Chatsworth. shall put it on my list of places to visit.

Hi blotted, Pula, anyone else lurking.

Hope everyone is well. x

Morning all!

ses -m sorry to hear about your dad, hope all is ok. I'd be a bit at your mum too.

momino - your day sounds lovely. Bit at your book club. And have a hug generally, hope things are ok.

tummum - California sounds exciting! There's been rumblings for a few years about DH being relocated to the states but never anything concrete...would be v exciting if it ever did.

llareggub - happy anniversary! Chatsworth sounds good. What a pain about your car though.

febes - I was on cerazette for a few years and didn't have problems like yours, but I have read that quite a few women have had big trouble with it. If you think you can stand it for three months to see what happens then do, but you don't have to. I don't remember it taking that long for it to settle down. The pill is a funny thing - my sister has taken the same one for 15 years with no trouble (and a break for a baby) but I used to have to change mine every year or two because my body would stop liking it, v strange. I've not bothered going back to it, will think of other methods when it's required.

Hello everyone else, please don't take it pesonally if I haven't namechecked you!

We had an offer! 20k below the asking price, the estate agent rejected it for us, quite happy with his decision. Another of the viewers really likes the house but is looking at some more and will get back to the agent tomorrow. Viewer last night was very very strange, here 5 minutes. I'm guesing he won't be back with an offer.

Update here is that Dad is home. I went round this afternoon with O to help welcome him back! He was brought home in an ambulance and pushed in in a wheelchair. They've left him with a walking frame but he can only hop so looks like he's restricted to the living room for the time being!
I've decided that Mum just doesn't realise what she's saying as she surely couldn't be that insensitive! Within his hearing this afternoon, she said "Maybe I just should have said that I couldn't cope with him coming home and then they'd have kept him in longer" Poor Dad looked really hurt but I think she was oblivious to how he'd feel on hearing that!

Momino - yay for bookclub! What was the book this time and had anyone actually read it?

Flip - good that you've had an offer, hope you get a more realistic one soon!

Hello everyone else! Some we've not heard from for a while - hope Fi, saus, Spangle, Grumpy, Dandy, Looby, ReeBee, Reggiee, Smokey, Cherrytom, Running and others are all ok
Blotted - hello!

Ses glad your father is home. I'm sure you'll tell me that it is none of my business but try and cut your mother a bit of slack. It isn't easy living with an alcoholic, both in terms of managing the actual drinking behaviour, fears for the future and also dealing with the other things. Alcoholics can be devious, selfish, dishonest, even when not drinking. I know I don't know your father but I've lived with an alcoholic husband and even now, a few years sober, I still have quite a bit of residual anger.

I'll butt out now. Sorry if I've overstepped the mark!

Llare - don't worry, you haven't overstepped the mark and I keep trying to tell myself to go easy on my mum

She doesn't seem to see that her comments and behaviours actually make him worse. I know it's not easy for her - I lived with them for most of the time at his worst when I was aged between 10 and 25. Further back story is that as she couldn't control him, she tended to control us instead. Understandable in theory but not when in the middle of it and (amongst other things!) you get whacked with a bag of frozen peas for wearing jewellery to school age 16, or not allowed to wash your own hair until age 17 or pushed up against a wall so she can squeeze your spots (yuk! Why?!)
So I guess I don't feel like I can be her best friend as she wants me to be
Sorry I know I sound bitter I try to put it in the past as she is better than she used to be (and so is he!)

I'm sorry Ses, I know it isn't easy for anyone.

Sorry having been MIA here for a bit.

ses hope you are ok. SOrry to read about your parental troubles, but glad your dad is home now. Must be hard to deal with all of this.

tummum very excited to read about California. What an opportunity. Whats the latest?

febes hope the non BF is going ok and the pill situation has sorted itself out.

Have 20 week scan tomorrow. Getting nervous about it now although I can feel sporadic movements, so am hoping all is well. Bump is certainly growing.

Have decided to book the doula. I really liked her and I think the "extended" help over a few weeks will be better than a one week maternity nurse. llare I think I will also be hiring (finances permitting) a mothers help when the Doula finishes and I know how much time my mum can spend with us.

Did anyone else get sucked into the Rarebird threads? God I feel so ashamed that I was literally chomping at the but for updates on what was happening. I was erring on the side of believing her rather than not but it was better than tv for the last few days. If it was true, what a terrible terrible situation. Like I say, I am somewhat ashamed of myself for getting sucked in , but it was so compelling.

ses, nothing to say but sending hugs to you as well. sounds like a very tough time, past and present.

smokeyb, I know nothing about the Rarebird threads, no idea what you're talking about (I'm not really 'with it') but am now curious. in a nutshell?

can't wait to hear about your 20 wk scan! I'm so excited for you.

yes, you guessed it, I'm 'working'. sigh. guess I'll get back to it then. sigh.

Hello Momi!

Thanks for all the hugs. Trying to focus on more positive things like our weekend in Bath this weekend!

Smokey - I've seen reference to that thread but not the thread itself. Like Momi, I'd be interested in a brief overview?!
I'm excited for you about 20wk scan. Would be great to get an update from you!
Your doula / mothers help plan sounds like a good one

I'm looking forward to a few days off work. I was meant to be off all week but have had to work up until tomorrow! Lots to do tomorrow when I have a day to myself as O is in nursery. Just the usual washing, ironing oh and shopping for DH's birthday present!

Hi all

Momi hope work going OK

Ses as Momi said, tough times for you all

Smokey hope 20 wk scan goes OK

Flip any news on more offers?

Febes I bled for 3+ weeks on cerazette, so switched to a combi pill (gave up BFing) which suits me much better. I'm considering a coil but not sure whether I can face it...!

Smokey I too followed the RB thread, and felt a bit dirtied about it in the end, but couldn't stop looking at it IYKWIM. Everyone who didn't see it, a quite far fetched, but sad, scenario was posted by a new-ish poster who was then accused of being a troll and also of impersonating someone who is slightly 'known' or has been in the media (from some details posted a google search revealed the poster.) It all got a bit involved and culminating in a MN member calling a hospital to establish if a person with the name of the google search was there (she was.) Lots of accusation of trolling / impersonating etc etc, it all got very hysterical. If the situation was real (and it seemed plausible but very very sad) the poor poster got a real pasting and was absolutely hounded.

Morning all!

I'd read bits of the second RB thread, but not the first one that MN pulled. It wasn't pleasant at all, whether the op was real or not.

ses - hope things are ok with your parents.

smokey - hope the scan goes ok.

house - the people who made the very low offer came back with another slightly-higher-but-still-very-low offer which we also rejected. Monday's viewer not interested at all, he doesn't want to do any work (so why the agents let him come round, I don't know!); we have another viewer on Saturday. The house we want is still available taunting us!