Aug 08: fine and dandy with matchsticks handy.

[oopsRonanOGarascoconuts]

Boo!

steak quality sausages not essential.. i made them last with chorizo sausage but instead of taking off the skins and using the flesh, because they were already cooked i bunged them all in the food processor with the mince and whizzed them until the sausage was minced

DP is currently reading his mighty boosh book to DS. DS is fascinated!

I'm giving up and off to investigate the wine in the kitchen.

Night all.

I have to go to bed - Dh is watching the Apprentice. I am so not a reality TV girl!

Nighty night all - sleep well

TS cat sitter available at the bargain rate of SGD10 per day (about US$7 I think). Might be fairly hefty travel allowance though

TS go Reese! Not to be outdone by Theo, Sam did the 'no hands' standing trick yesterday afternoon for a couple of seconds then fell on his bum. The CM told me he did it in the morning too so I wasn't imagining things.

Pf my DH also had the colour thingy when he first started work as part of his graduate training. He was told then that he had the perfect inverted triangular shape - oh how things change in 10+ years! He was also taught how to iron shirts properly. Something he doesn't seem to have implemented since I might add.

Steaky why are the French so obsessed with supositories? Hope you managed to get some sleep in the end.

Morning all. thanks for helping to understand the letter.pertelote thankyou, that is what i come up with eventually. thanks all of you for taking the time to google for me.

steak hope you managed some sleep and dd vsettled well.

ds woke up as mardy as ever, he has whinged through every mouthful of breakfast and is still whinging now. teeth????? who knows.

i am dumping both dcs at my step mums today so me and my wonderful sister can do some retail therapy shopping for things for holiday and maybe buy a 3rd outfit for christening as i know i prob wont wear one of the 2 dresses i have already bought.

also off to buy new bras, my nursing ones are sometimes a bit baggy. i tried one on yesterday but coulnd even get my norks in. i am confused about this measuring lark. currently 34f, but now measure at 32e
i have no idea. back later
hope you all have a lovely day

sazzles back soon yeah

Yawning all.

After logging off I went and found the red wine, DH got home five minutes later and managed to settle the baby in about five minutes.

She slept till half one then till fourish.
Both times she woke after I put her down she woke again and DH accused me of not doing it properly. First time I brought her into our room to feed so he had to take her back and settle her, second time I brought her into our bed and he buggered off decided to sleep in the spare room.

I was very upset as he had been very angry, agressive and mocking. While it was antagonistic of me to bring the baby into our bed, I think I should be able to without causing a major blow up.

Not sure how to deal with it as there will be an argument, no matter how calm I try to be. I swear the boy could argue with a mute.

I have written out shy I am upset, seperated it into behaviour - being shouty, un-willingness to help etc and with what was specific to last night - that I had told him how hard my evening had been and he still didn't want to help.

I'm not sure if writing it in a letter to him will help him see or just antagonise him even more.

I really am stuck, because he is a good dad and a lovely husband when he puts his mind to it, but I just get the feeling that he only likes the fun bits of fatherhood.
I do try to keep objective and support him, we have had lots of stress this year and he doesn't enjoy his job but feels the responsibility of being the bread-winner very strongly.

Not to take away the importance of him working to the family, but he isn't a brain surgeon or owt that requires him to be alert at all times. Being a bit tired in the day for his work won't result in planes crashing or something. But it is so hard to talk about it without him getting defensive and shouty.

It just so bloody tiring trying to look after the little one and make sure that DH is bolstered too.

sorry for rant, just needed to get it out.
Right time to get dressed and make the beloved his fresh pasta for the weekend.

Morning! Really need to swathe the entire upstairs of my house in black-out lining, it's too early and just going to get worse as the mornings get lighter Oh well, temporary respite next weekend when the clocks go forward.

No1 glad you are feeling better about the letter. Really though, who on earth thinks letters like that are a good idea to send to non-doctory people??? Good luck with the shopping. Going down 1 band and 1 cup size is the equivalent of 2 cups. If your current bras are too baggy round the body but still the right cup size you might need a 32GG or even 32H .
You had me laughing yesterday, making people think you were pregnant

Expectant yay for Sam . We are still firmly in the horizontal camp here, DS still not actually crawling but he can drag himself pretty fast, so the day is punctuated with DD yelping that he's got one of her toys. And she's so good at sharing at nursery...

Steaky hope you and DD got some sleep. What about merguez sausage for the meatballs? I luuuurve them

TS good to see you again but that's awful about your pesky cat sitter . My kitty is rather pampered as whenever we are away he gets morning and evening visits, my lovely friend and my MIL take it in turns

Oh while I think on, a warning to those of you who don't have an Ikea Antilop (is there anyone?) but have a wooden highhair instead. I was sitting on the floor and when I got up I was too near the chair so managed to bash the edge of the heavy tray right on the bridge of my nose [owwww] Thought I was going to get a black eye but luckily non so far

Sunny here but windy, might try and plant some seeds today. Better late than never...

Oh Steaky . Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom for you. Perhaps because you are at PILs he feels like he can still be a kid if he wants so hopefully it will get better when you get your own place? Also it is rubish but DHs can sometimes take a while to appreciate all aspects of fatherhood, usually around 1 or so when they are more mobile and chattier, also less attached to boob

morning

terrible night last night, with ds in bed with us due to horrible cold plus teething = no sleep all round. Had to cancel swimming today (my swim) as I have the cold too - weather horrible, staying put in our jimjams

pf I have been on colourist thingy when I worked in the city, it was 2 whole days about hemlines, colours to suit you and a point system - you get points for 2 pieces of jewelery (excluding wedding ring), sheer tights, skirt suit (not mismatching trouser suit), a neckscarf, sleeves at correct length (ie a suit that fits properly) etc. I have about 20 neckscarfs in my wardobe . We spent an afternoon going over the finer points of entering a room with confidence and greeting a 'client'...! Parkour would have been great and I quite fancy the yodeling.

no1 I hope you get some info soon on M, I am also needing new bras but have about 10 all different sizes and none fit now...happy shopping

hotpot ouch, sounds painful

oops can you blow that sleepy dust this way tonight please

steak sorry to hear of your arguement, I have had that many shouting matches cross words with my dp I've lost count, it's the tiredness - we try to have cuddles if we're cross cos you cant be cross with someone when you are cuddling them

FFS Steak that's a bit rich of him, going out partying one night and then dissing your parenting skills Why do men do this? I must be so naive as I really thought all men were like my DP, i.e. REASONABLE.

It bugs the hell out of me that us women are programmed to look for reasons and mitigating factors in our menfolk's bad behaviour, yet they never seem to waste spend time doing the same This thread and all our others are littered with upset mums dissecting their partner's behaviour. Somehow I doubt said partners are chewing it over whilst out at work and wondering what might have driven our responses.

Rant over, have wailing boy upstairs.

steaky writing it down works with my dh. Helps hammer the point home with no interruptions and also makes it obvious that you are SO upset you have spent time writing it down. Hope it helps.

It is basically all down to tiredness but you need to find a way to work through it as a team - and you also both need to be allowed to have a break now and again (this is the bit me and dh struggle with)

sambo I also used to wear neck scarves in my 20s - my flatmate used to say I looked like an air hostess (have to say I think I did a bit )

Whoever was asking about bras - 32e will actually give you the same volume as a 34f just with a smaller band round the back (you have prob lost some weight but not off your norks yet!) btw not made this up it is on the figleaves site which has excellent explanation of measuring

Off to babyswimming

Morning all

A better night here and we woke to another new tooth why is it the night she get's a tooth she sleeps better??

We are off to the bank the onto lunch at the baby cafe.

DD trying to eat my toes and finds my feet very very funny.

Have a good swim PF.

Steaky - It is called male double standards and will hopefully pass but until then everytime she wakes in the night wake him and say 'you know how to do this best' and hand over DD. He will soon change his mind.

Thanks for the kind words ladies.

I sometimes feel I'm talking to a brick wall, I asked him the other day how to tell him when I was uspet about something. He said "just tell me" so I did - "please don't say XYZ"
He said; "is this about me staying out?"
FFS - No its about you being rude at 3 am in the morning!!

I don't think he realises how annoying it is to spend all day looking after a LO and then have him come home all Alpha Male and say things like "I want the pink blanket kept by the pram"
My reply,
"well the other three adults in the house always manage to find it where-ever it is!"

I try to see it as him over-compensating and trying to be involved, but really he is just a bossy boots - two bossy boots does not a smooth marriage make.

Cyteen - he can be reasonable, it just takes several explanations and lots of patience to get him there. He is very much react first, think later.

Oops - abso-bloody-lutely on the double standards.

Though in his defence he can actually say the word "sorry" now, it has only taken 3 years of marriage.

oh and I tried, "you do it so much better etc" last night, but it was just a stalemate with the baby crying in the other room, so I got up. [humbug emoticon]

On a happier note, making fresh pasta is ace fun. They should have done that in the managment training!

petitfilou i thought your bra comment about "not making it up" was funny! i wasn't thinking for a moment you had!

cyteen you're so right about the men not analysising their other halves

steaky i find with my DP that he listens more if i start with "you made me feel that ...." But agree with the others, a letter is a good idea. we have similar issues with a bright green blanket!

seems it was mostly rough nights for all last night. i stopped counting at 5 wake ups DP slept through them all so at least he's in a good mood today. i got woken by a text from my father "table booked for 1 at cafe rouge, see you there" I replied back with a rather curt message because he was meant to be coming to mine for lunch so he could play with DS. fuck him. i give up. i've tried countless times to arrange things so he can spend some time with DS and you know what, i'm not going to bother now. you'd think that as DS is his only grandchild that he'd make an effort, obviously not. anyhow, the good news is that dad has invited my brother as well so DS gets to spend some time with one of his lovely uncles.

oh and steaky what hotpot said about DH being a kid still whilst iving at pil's sounds like a reasonable explanation

to all mums of boys... how do we break the cycle? I would hate for anyone to be talking about the little bundle of loveliness that i've got on my lap like we're talking about most of our DPs/DHs

I am not mocking but on the subject of our lovely DHs....
I would like to just once spend all day away, come home to a cooked meal, eat it, walk away from the table with dirty dishes still on it, go plop on the sofa with the remote for tv viewing, and when asked say "I really need some time to unwind. I've had a busy day." All this at 7pm when both girls need to be well on their way into their bedtime routine.

My DH is wonderful too....just not consistently every evening when it would be best for all in our house.

I was wondering that too Miamla. It's a shame (yet again) that my mum isn't here as she did a great job with my brother.

Going out now but I will ponder on it...

miamla and vg Now you two, stop making fun of me

The reason for the addendum was because I can sometimes talk utter bllcks and people will usually believe me (for some reason ) even when I don't know what I'm talking about - I just think I do. They are known as 'pf theories' in this house by dh. However - on occasion I am right

steaky lol at two bossy boots - we have the same battle for control in this family. We are both eldest children - not supposed to be a good combination!