Hello girls
Things not much better here really. I finally got a message from him this evening. No apology, nothing. Seems to think its fie to just tell me that he's been working hard, had little sleep and been eating junk and lots of coffee. No mention at all of treating me like crap... ignoring my calls etc.... I;ve gone from feeling fairly heart broken and crying too much, to feeling really bloody furious with him.
Shimmer - I think you ought to perhaps confront him really. not in a confrontational accusing way either. its prefectly possible you may have been in the history for your self surely? Just say you were lookin for a web site you visited and couldn't remember the url, so went back into the history and found x y and z .... I think if you don't it will pray on your mind...
UD: shame about Z not sleeping through, after all.. Izzy really is. She is even happy going to bed now. No tears, shouting nothing!
Katwith3, and UD ( if you want to know too... )
Here is how we did it.
ok.... LO wakes up. you must look the time. decide how long you are happy to leave them in the cot for, crying. Can be as little as 30 seconds, or as long as 20 mins. Its entirely up to you, and what you and you LO can cope with.
After that time is up, go in, be all lovely like usual, pick them up, cuddle them, kiss them, do anyhting you like ( not feed them ) to get them to calm down, and stop crying. As soon as they stop crying put them back into bed. tuck them in, say what ever it is you say when you put them to bed. Walk straight out. say night night at the door and leave
They will cry, maybe scream, maybe be hysterical, maybe even make themselves sick. If tha latter is the case, just clean it up and leave ( I know, really hard! )
So go back to your bed, or front room, where ever you want. LIterally write down the time you left the room. add 2 minutes to the time you originally left them, from now. I.e. you heard them wake and cry, you decide you can leave it 2 minutes before you go in. this time, leave it *5 mins.
After 5 minutes ( or whatever time fram you have got to ) go back in, cuddle, soothe, kiss, what ever you want, put back to bed as soon as calm. Leave the room, write down the time you left. It might take you 15 mins to calm them each time before you put them down. This is ok. It will still work.
Basically, it goes on, adding 2 minutes every time, until they are just asleep.
FOr us, 1st night was hardest. She behaved like I was murdering her, when i left her that first time. I ended up going in and out to her 4 times the first night, and the longest she ever cried was only 7 minutes. Which isn't alot at all really, thoguh it felt alot. Which is why it important you use a clock to time...
At day 3, she went to bed with no problem, and woke up once for less than 3 minutes at about 4.30 am... She has woken once in the night since, and that wa last week, when she was really teething. She also did go back to bed no problems, after a bottle and some ambusol!
I really psyched myself up for it katwith3 I set up a magazine, the telly and a cup of tea, some biccies and a blanket, before I went to bed. When she first woke, I went straight in to the front room, and wrote on a notepad when she'd woken. I had to keep myself awake proprly as I 'd tried it before, and fallen asleep half way thrugh, cocking it all up, so it didn't work! The key is, I believe in a combination of the tyring, and the fact you do give them love, and comfort and cuddles when you go to them. unlike all the other controlled crying techniques.
It worked for me anyway. It meant that I was following my instincts, in a more structured way. I've always tried to leave her for a bit before going in, and then I always Want to pick her up and comfort her. Manyother controlled crying or gradual withdrawing methods, involve going agoainst your instincts don't they? you know, telling you not to give eye contact or pick them up etc...
this method is actually really really gentle. I promise you. also if you are really really strict with it, you can do it in well under a week, certainly with lo's the age of hours.
Good luck! let me know if you want any other help on it, or if it's not clear enough! do truth me though, you really could have a whole nights sleep before you know it. ( god i sound like a phony disclaimer on some dodgy advert for a wonder sleep clinic ! ) really thouhgh, Isobel had never slet a whole night, far far far from it infact. I did this only a 2 weeks ago, and shes slept through since. oh, and also, ironically, she now has at least one long sleep in the afternoon, and sometimes in the morning too! its great! I now know that I can get a nap in the afternoon, to rest my back, every day without fail! Life is much much better now.
Sorry no personals, figured I'd typed enough about sleep for one night!