Shimmer: SO funny you should say that about this being a lovely age. I was thinking exactly that at bath time tonight. I managed to get her in myself tonight. And we played with all the bath toys, and she chats non stop at me. She obviously really thinks she is talking and I understand it all. MAkes me chuckle sometimes. All the tones, and intonation is perfect for the conversation. Ups, and downs, pauses, nods, yeps and head shakes, its all there. Shame I've no idea what she is actually saying to me!
I did have a really lovely day to day, thanks to a certain, very lovely lady here. Seems my Isobel had words with E&H, and asked her to go to the shops and acknowledge mothers day with some yummy choccies and a lovely card. I have to admit, I cried. I was just so touched at the thought. I was gobsamacked, totally. I can't thank you enough , lovely, I really can't. it also sadly, highlighted, even more how shit DH is. The fact that someone I barely know, cared more for my feelings than he did, well, you can imagine how that feels. However, I've enjoyed the choccies, not all of them yet.... and Izzy took about 10 minutes licking one at tea time Thank you thank you thank you thank you.... can't thank you enough really Lovely lovely laydeeee
sleeptraining UD well, I do know how you feel about it. I had the exact same feelings as you. I guess the combination of never having anyone else to get up to Izzy, and having such terrible pain, which is so much worse with no sleep, meant that I just had to do something about it. As I had absolutely no reserve left for my self whatsoever.
This is just not controlled crying as you would think it is. It is a really really gentle way to do it. Trust me.. this is coming from the mum who couldn't let her teeny baby cry or squeek for more than, oh, about 5 seconds! Also from the mum that was SO anti CC that I can't even watch a program with supernanny, or which ever child expert in it, if there were any sleep prblems at all, incase they left a baby crying. I'm so with you on it....
Thats why you start with teeny tiny amounts of time, before you go into them, and cuddle them etc... you can start with as little as 30 seconds... then go up to 2mins 30 seconds and so on... I honestly didn't ever get to leave her for more than 7 minutes. 7mins really isn't a long time at all. I know it sometimes seems forever when you are listening to it, but it really isn't. Plus, you can stay with them for as long as it takes to calm and settle them down. You just leave as soon as they have stopped crying. Then leave them until the time has elapsed, even if, sadly they cry all that time. Izzy cried on and off tbh. Sometimes immediatly, sometimes just at the end of the timing...
I put it into perspective by doing something whilst timing her. LIke, make a cup of tea... put some washing up away, or load the washing machine and set it.. you know, all the kinds of things, you would probably do in the day, if they were crying for a cuddle, or attention, or if they were just in a crappy mood, having a wingy day... you wouldn't go to them immediately, or you'd not get anything done ever, you'd finish what you were doing, then give them plenty of love and cuddles.
Try timing yourself doing a few daily tasks, like i've mentioned... imagine yourself doing that with them crying. you'd just be saying ot yourself, " i'll just finish this, then I'll be there' the time will fly...
I know I said all this before, but, Isobel was incredibly upset the first night, and the first time I went in and left without her. You would have thought i had tried to murder her, by her reaction. She shouted, cried, coughed, sobbed you name it, she did it...but even that only lasted about 5 mins, at the most. ( and I felt absolutely terrible , and I cried too )
She was just furious with me. The fact you are 'allowed' to cuddle them, and it doesnt mess up the plan, makes it really really easy to do. It felt like a very gentle way to do it.
Its not really about the amount of time they are left, its showing them that you are there, that you do love them, if they cry, they will be loved and cuddled, but, just not for as long as they would like, and you will leave them in their own bed for the night. You just dont do any of it immediately, thats all.
I just couldn't do 'proper controlled crying'. I am,and was totally against it, and the principle.
The result has been that she is a much happier little girl, all round. honestly. I wouldnt' have believed it if someone told me that would be the outcome. She actually goes to bed now, with NO crying, shouting, nothing at all. She just lies down in her bed when i put her in, waits for me to tuck her in, looks at me, always says something ( not sure what it is! ) i tell her the sleepy fairies are on the way, and she says thank you and thats it! honestly!
Sometimes, I hear her chatting for a little while, and when i look in she's reading her books out loud, pointing at the pages. She then just lays down again and goes to sleep. same at nap time. She never used to even go for a nap!
Now, shes having at least one a day, sometimes two. I'm just amazed, and so pleased that I did it now. the first night was the hardest, the second not too bad, the third was really easy. After that, i timed her, but never got past 3 mins and she'd stop. If she wakes now, she just chats to herself, and goes back to sleep. I'm sure she wakes more, but I don't hear her.
I realise i've gone on and on again.. just, I wanted to stress that its not the same as CC. Really it isn't. Its worth a go, if your LO isn't sleeping. I always feed her if she wakes at 6am or there about, and feed her, as it reasonable she's thirsty by then. She then goes back to sleep for at least another hour and half or more...
I also must do the tesco inline shop! God, I'm so so sorry i've preached about the sleep thing again! I am clearly just so thrilled with it, I want everyone to give it a go!