Jan '07 part 23: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's 2happy's flying shed!

[2happy]

Watch out cows, here it comes!

Susie I honesdtly take my hat off to you for coping so well on your own. I know I couldn't do it. Feel free to rant away, and big ((jhugs))

i'm 32 he's 42.Both been married before, both had spouses that had affairs... he should know better by now. He is crap when it comes to anything involving emotions, he has mild aspergers syndrome. He also says, when these things come up, that he had anything that was left of his emotions stripped from him by what his exW did to him ( which I fully understand)
Yet, he's incredibly intelligent, painfully so, at times, and has learned with my help ( I had him diagnosed when we first met) how to cope with it, and how to behave in certain situations.
Meaning, whilst he doesn't always empathise, and genuinley understand how i'm feeling, because it is genuinely alien to him, he knows how i'm feeling, from practice, IYSWIM? He is much much better face to face.
He doesn't read my face so welll, but does get that somethings wrong if I dont spell it out for him, at the time, if we are together.

. It doesn't really have a huge impact on our relationship now, as we've both learnt coping mechanisms with it. WHich is why, i'm possibly a bit more forgiving than other people thing I ought to be, at times... and probably, her 'gets away' with far more than her should, as I let it be a scape goat... not sure if any of that makes sense?

I don't know. Maybe i"m letting it get to me far more than it should. I feel bad about venting all this to you. I am sorry. It really does help a bit though. Things have seemed so much better recently. He was so fantastic and caring, and loving, and kind to me, when I had those injections and was in so much more pain. He was brilliant. I didn't need to ask him to do anything, or prompt him to give me a cuddle, or be loving etc. He just was.

It had re-confirmed a heck of a lot to me, as i'd been worried, and wondering if he'd stopped loving me. We talked and talked about all kinds of things, and worked through alot. even to planning our next baby. I really thought things were looking up for us. Even more so, as he actively was looking at jobs here again, and updated his CV etc. Maybe i shouldn't read so much into this, and just accept it as a genuine fuck up, with him mixing up the dates. I could tell that was what had happened by his reaction when I told him. I know he felt terrible. Trouble is, I had reminded him, and my mum had sent him a text last week saying that isobel had told her she would love to give her mummy a card and a little something this year...

god i'm sorry to go on and on. talk about a post- mortem you really needn't be party to...

((hugs)) susie - sounds complicated and confusing plus the fact that you arent in the same place at the moment so you cant talk face to face makes it even more difficult. I dont know what else to say except cary on talking if it helos at all

e&H I've no idea now if he will be home tonight. Its a 7 hour drive from sunderland. He was stopping in B'ham where he has a room in a house. He'd left his laptop there in the week. Sometime the drive is just too much anyway and he'll sleep there and get up early and come on home. sometimes he sleeps in services for a few hours,then carries on straight home.
I don't think he;ll be coming here now, not as he thinks there will be an argument. Plus, if he has to be back in sunderland sunday night, he'd have to leave her first thing sunday morning. If he doesn't get her until tomorrow morning, there seems little point really. Id only worry about him doing so much driving with not enough time off to rest in between.

THing is, and deep down he does know this, I wont argue with him if/when he gets here. I am always just so pleased to see him, I jump on him and squeeze him so tight and practically don't let go of him until her goes back. I usually forget all about what ever it happens to be, and just enjoy his company, and us all being together. He knows this. yet, he'll probably use it as an excuse.

oooooh mate it sounds so tough, hopefully he'll surprise you, if he doesnt can you go to your mums on sunday so you are not on your own (well apart from Izzy)

if he doesnt get cover/come home do you know when you'll see him next?

am off to bed but hope you get some rest/sleep tonight, catch up tomorrow x

I ought to go to bed too really... erm, I am going to meet him in manchester next friday night, then we are all driving home on the sunday, hopefully for him to have 2 weeks at home. though i'd bet a million he's forgotten to book it off

Anyway, thank you SO much. Can't tell you how much i appreciate it. I will be back tomorrow sometime, hopefully feeling a bit more positive!

take care all of you, see you soon. Thanks again.

my best friends called this evening, her mum has cancer. she said shes really ill...I'm so upset for her.
She had her 1st last yr and she sjust the best mum, she adored everything about beinga mum and its just so lovely to see....it feels so fucking unfair that now her mum is going to miss it all.

I'm so upset, I just want to be there for her.

Scmp - what a difficult situation. I don't think there's anything constructive I can add, just sympathies
LTH - that's awful
Wilkie - aha! Tempted by the country!! Let out your inner bumpkin
Loosh - you'd better!!

Too nervous to look out the window and see if the remnants of the shed are still there, been really windy over night!

morning 2h, it was really windy here last night too. I had to go around putting wedges of card in alll the windows to stop them rattling.

Susie, I'm not sure what to say, I do understand how you feel, DH is abit like yours and we had a concervstaion yesterday anout how unromantic he is. He said I never show him any affection but I said its because after yrs of doing nice thing for him andnever getting nothing in return all th affection has ran out. He makes a joke about it all but it is upsetting. YOu have my sympathy...I'e kind of given up on it now but I hope you don't.

I spoke to my friend for overan hour on the phone last night. I'm just sooo upset for her. Her dad is being ridiculous and won't let M (my friedn) help them at all, even though she knows that he's falling apart. She has to travel back to Morocco next week (they live there), its such bad timing but with something like this there never will be a better time. She going to have to come back every 4-6 weeks just to make sure she knwos whats going on because because she doesn't feel as if they;ll be truthful with her.
I know how stupid this sounds, espicailly as I lost my dad when I was young but you just don't ever think about your parent(s) dying, do you? With this happening to my lovely friends mum it feels lke that bubble has burst. RL has caught up and yes actually they do get taken away from us and sometinmes at the most special times (meaning friends 1st baby, and teh her relishing every bit of motherhood).

It sjust soooooooo crap, and I'm so sad about it.

Lth - my best mate (eddas on here) lost her mum to brain tumour/cancer in July 2003 (I always remember her ringing me the day we got back from honeymoon and I felt so guilty not being there for her) her mum had been having bad headaches but thought they were migranes, she had a fall and an xray on her arm and they discovered she had cancer and brain tumour.

At first it seemed that there was some hope but they just kept discovering more and she passed away a few months after diagnosis, her Mum was very 'no sad faces etc' when she was told it was terminal she was only 50 eddas found out sept 03 she was pg and knew it was a girl straight away (her dh family never have girls) and her middle names are her mums, she has the bluest eyes just like her mums and when she was born had a swollen neck on right hand side (just like her mum) so eddas is convinced she is a gift from her mum.

It must be so hard for your friend especially not neing near, I know eddas wishes her mum had met her dd and ds, she'd have loved being a nanny, I think sunday is a hard day for her as she wants to be happy because her dd and ds are celebrating her being a mummy but obviously she is sad because she cant be with her mum, in fact I think I'll get her a nice bunch of flowers just so she knows I have rememered (she is hatties godmother so I'll say they are from her as well). Every year I try and remember he rMums anniversary and text her to let her know I am around, and I attempt to not moan about my Mum to much in front of her, but she always says that if her Mum was still here he'd be moaning about her to [feeble smile].

So many of my friends lost a parent to cancer when we were in sixth form/early adulthood, I try not to think to much about it but like you makes me realise at some point we do lose people ad its scary.

Susie - glad you managed to speak to him, will you drive/tain to manchester

2happy - so are the remnants of the shed there?

LTH - so sad It really brings it home to you doesn't it. My mum is my BF and I don't know what the hell I would do without her. She had a serious breast cancer scare about two years ago - they basically told her it WAS breast cancer but THANK GOD, it turned out to b a rare fibroid that would disappear of its own accord.

I was honestly thinking I was going to lose my mum and it was the worst feeling in the world. I know it sounds dramatic but I feel I would die without my mum.

I am so so for your friend. All you can do is be there for her. Maybe send her a bouquet of flowers?

On a happier note, george has started walking.
He took his first steps in teh doctors last night(ear infection-ds2) and this morning he's been walking loads.

The big ones LOVE it, its very funny according to them

well done George - does he look like a weeble just about to topple over but rescues himself?

well, his body is still moving faster than his feet most of the time but when its all goes teh same speed he's actually quite stable concidering he's only just started last night!

need to get a shower...have no motivation at all, although I'm picking up my new buggy from Lizzz's house later, that shoudl motivate me.

What have youall got your mums for tomorrow, I need to get something thsi afternoon but have no idea what.

I feel ill keep getting stomach cramps and feeling really nauseuas when the cramps are there ( its not all the time around once every half an hour, hattie in bed and ellie watching tv so just chilling for a bit.

at new buggy!

My mum has got slippers (she wanted them!) and a M&S voucher as she wants some new pj's but not sure what ones

MIL has got a huge slab of chocolate from thorntons (had it iced with ellies nickname fof her and the girls names) and then we'll get her a new rose tree thing for the garden (she has asked for this but its out of stock at the moment)

My mum has got a necklace and my MIL some perfume. I usually spend £10 each but they have both been really helpful with the move etc.

Great news re George!!

I know very guilty of lurking but have an uncanny knack of killing threads .

Love to meet up for coffee, lots of lovley places especially in slaithwaite and marsden for cheeky lunchtime ice cream or a cuppa - there is even a floating caff on the canal but tend to get a litle seasick on it . Whoops, wind has woken W up...

Loosh - did you fart rather loudly or are you talking about the wind in general??

wilkie lowers the tone of the new thread after only 46 messages

ooo ooo ooo forgot to say I am child free, went to my mum and dads as some old elative is going there and wants to see girls, however, not turned up yet, I said we'd need to leave soon to get home sort dinner etc so mum suggested I cam home and got on woth some jobs (yes MN is a job that needs doig) she'll feed/bath them and I pick them up at 6pm, love my parents this afternoon

Ahhh, feet up and cup of tea, then? (Except knowing you it'll be a quick take down and wash the curtains, clean the oven, sort through of grown-out of girls' clothes, clean out the kitchen shelves (including washing the tops), rog out the wheelie bin, sort and alphabetise DVDs, and all by about half past 4 )

EAH - how very dare you!! Guess you are feeling better then, non?

Have had three emails from three LOVELY girls off the huddersfield thread. Hmmm, might have to desert all you lot for my new friends and Loosh. We'll start our own gang. Ha ha ha ha.

Joke. I can't imagine ever not being on this thread. I'm not convinced I would join another PN thread when I am next pg cos like Vino said, this one is just too good.

I m feeling quite positive though now about the move as three of the other MNers live where I am hoping to move to and have said we can meet up, plus with Loosh being in Huddersfield - I am starting to relax a little. I will just be glad when we get a house sorted.