Jan '07 Part 14: 6 months in, we have crawling, teething, rolling, sitting up, talking...and that's just us mum's!

[Wilkie]

Thought I would attempt a new thread (sorry 2Happy)...

eandh - I hope her hospital does something like that. I have since found out that although her baby died on Monday, she is going into hospital to be induced etc tomorrow. It must be awful. You sort of assume that once you are past a certain time the baby will be fine. Viable birth date etc.
We are thinking about buying her a star. Do you think that is too trite?

OMG Lizz, that is fucking awful and was always my fear.

Personally I think the star is trite. After my m/c one of my friends in London sent me a huge bouquet and a card, she didn't ring (which I didn't want) but the flowers really blew me away.

One of the guys at work lost his litle boy at 35 weeks, he said the cards and letters meant SO much to them.

God, that is just so sad

I'm so sorry for your friend Lizz I really don't know what to suggest as thankfully i've never known anyone that this happened to. I can just imagine that if it was me I would react like UD I think and want to be left alone and above all not want lots of people feeling sorry for me. So I think just letting her know that you're there for whenever she wants to get out or just talk is a good idea, either a short phone call (praps even jut to her DH/P?) or a card.

I actually think that, maybe in a little while when it's not quite so raw, the star is a lovely idea. More lasting than flowers anyway.

I named a star after my first m/c baby and really loved it. What I also wanted was for people to talk ad acknowledge that my babies were there and not something to just forget. Some things are obviously individual but I think being there and willing to talk when they're ready is one of the best things you could do.

So very sad

nothing more to add really

Just be there for your friend

Thanks for your advice.
I think I will send a card now, and then wait until after she lets me know the babys' name before getting the star. Plus, I guess she may want to do something like that herself.

It really does make you realise how lucky we are to have had healthy babies. I got pg by accident & totally by chance (iykwim), and didnt even consider the possibility of my Lo not being born healthy. But now I realise that I am definately in the minority. Its definately made me count my blessings x

Oh Lizz your poor friend. For me cards are the def the way forward even if all you write is 'thinking of you'.

My BF had a m/c while I was pg and I found it really hard to deal with. I ended up just saying to her that if she wanted me to stay away I would and we have an agreement that if she wants to talk about it to me she can do so at anytime but I will never bring the subject up.

I won't show you the links of houses I like cos I like to keep it all secret until I know the one I want is mine. i dream of a different one each night!

Decided we are gonna ask my little bro and his wife to be guardians for Ellen if we die. We need to write a will which is why we have been thinking about it.

Roll on the end of today then its my weekend

Borrowing a vegetarian babycookbook from a friend for the weekend. Its got some ace recipes in. I'm not vegy but like vegy food.

Lizzz, I'm so sorry to read about your friend, I cannot imagine the pain she must be feeling...her heart will be broken into to a thousand peices right now so I think the best thing yuo can do is just offer to help her fix it. Be there for her when she wants you, offer your shoulder when she needs it....maybe a memory box would be nice.

We came to the Airbourne show on Thursady but it was crapola, it was really windy so I think some of the displays were called off. Last year was great though. We LOVE the jets, but with all these males in the house that not really surprising. The Euro-fighter is (sorry I hate this word ) AWESOME. We're airshow nerds if you want to know the truth.

We're just back for a short cmaping trip that was HELL. 1st night there were a bunch of twats palying music until about midnight. kept me awake and then the rain started...ending the music but keeping me awake.

2nd night was more rain....lots and lots more keeping me awake again. And then even more during the day. the camsite was turned inti a mudbath with huge areas totally submerged in chin deep water.

3nd night there was wind. It sounded like armegeddon! I thought the tent was going to be lifted into the air and we'd end up in Kansas. DS3 woke up sacred so got into our microscopic double blow up bed with us so with howling wind and a wriggly DS3 I didn't sleep again.

When I got up this morning the first thing I said to DH (who'd gone to sleep in DS3 sleeping bag at 3am) was "WE are going home. I refuse to spend another night in this tent" I think the veins may have been standing up in my forehead or something because he didn't argue

I'll catch up on the thread and do some more persoanls latrer, dinner is currently burning....

just lurking and couldn't not post - Lizz that happened to a friend of mine, it was utterly tragic and desperately sad. Not much anyone can say to make ot better just let her know you're there if she needs you. My friend said it was worse when people avoided her because they thought she needed time alone, or didn't know what to say to here. Poor poor girl

oh and the hospital were fantastic and gave them all the help and support they needed.

LTH - you should come an live in Lincoln!! The Red Arrows are based at the airbase here so I was treated to a private show as they rehearsed this afternoon above my house

Lizz - sorry if my post earlier was a little sharp. I just meant that personally I wouldn't like the star thing (don't know why I just wouldn't) but obviously everyone is different and go with what you think is best. Although, I think everyone on here is in agreement that your friend just needs to know you are there and the best way to do that is to send a card letting her know that you are there for her if she needs you.

It is so tragic and so scary. People say these events are so few and far between but in the past year now I have known 6 babies die from various reasons both pre and post birth. It makes me so terrified for next time. I remember LTH going through a similar thing (fear I mean) when you were pg.

On a different note, been busy today. Had a lovely day off with little man. I am happy with the working days I do as it means I get a break mid-week and a nice long weekend. DH is off Friday/Sat/Mon.

What is everyone doing over the BH weekend?

KR - nice to hear from you!!! How are things?

evening all! i'm sat here feeling very smug as i got Z in bed asleep by half 6 (no medised involved! ) then dh came home and forced, yes forced me to take a hot bath and do myself a facial. i'm currently relaxing in my dressing gown with a g&t - and for a bloke who doesn't drink he certainly mixes a mean g&t! - before i go and put on something nice and we sit down to the delicious dinner he's currently preparing.

please cross your fingers for me for a good night from Z!!

sounds fab ud - enjoy (and big pat on the back to MrUD for being considerate)

Liz - I know what you mean. Ethan was a surprise baby as we weren't trying but when my waters broke at 22 weeks it was terrifying and the consultants prepared us for the worst, I consider us so very lucky that he was born healthy at full-term as the odds were against us.

Vino - post some recipes if you find some good ones please, I'm a veggie and always looking for nice ones

LTH - Duxford is near us and we went to an airshow last year I think it was and loved it. Looking forward to seeing another one. Camping sounds like it was a nightmare and I don't blame you for coming back early.

KR - nice to see you on the thread

Wilkie - Try not to worry about next time as you're right, it is a very uncommon thing. I know it's hard not to worry though, I always have until I've been holding my baby in my arms and with dd I was awful, I used to be obssessed about checking her at night when she was asleep. I'd be in and out of the room making sure she was breathing for months. She was prem and I had bleeding in pregnancy with her so I think that made me worse. I think that's another reason I like them in bed with me so I know they're ok. EVen now I hold my breath at night when I go to bed until I hear Ethan breathing, weird I knnow.

UD - that sounds wonderful, hope you enjoy your dinner Lovely that you had a relaxing bath and facial and a g&t HOping Zac sleeps well for you tonight.

hi wilkie , good thanks. Don't know if you ever saw my thread but we found out (after 5 months and alot of misery) that DS2 has cows milk intolerance and that was the reason he was so miserable - he had terrible belly pain. He will grow out of it (it's not an allergy he just can't digest it at the moment) but can't have any diary until at least 12 months and then only small amounts. Honestly he is a completley different baby, amazing really.

Very stressed and hassled as we are moving house tomorrow - totally new area, house still a building site...........

hope things are good with you? and the rest of the Jan 07 - I do lurk when I get a free minute

hi jodie thanks.

Hey Katie, its FAB to see you.
We're back in the moving house limbo land ATM too, I hop ethe move goes without a hitch for you all.
Moving to a new area with young children is easy peasy, especially when one is a baby. DS2 will be a magnet and you'll make loads of friends within no time.

I'm glad you've found a reason for ds2's grumpyness too. I bet it was a huge relief, have you had to stop all dairy too??

Aw Katie - great that you sorted the problem. Please try and pop on from time to time to let us know how things are going and good luck with the house move!!

Jodei - I am the same as you - checking on him at night etc.

please pop in and say hello more often KR

Wilkie, Looking back in hindsight, I think I had Ante-natal depression because the fear thing was so much more then the fear I'd felt with ds1,2 and 3. With them I knew it was normal. With Ds4 I was uttterly convinced, I mean completely and utterly convinved he wouldn't make it.

I vividly remember pushing his head out and him crying (with his body still inside me) and thinking "He's made it...he's alive" I thought he's crying because he's telling me he's ok.

It makes me feel quite sad that I was so messed up while I was PG. I loved being PG with the others so having such a hard time with ds4 makes me feel like I've missed that wonderful, magical time of carrying him

Sorry Lizzz, that post wasn't very sensitive with the news of your frined being so recent.

xxx

Hi all.
Quiet on here today. Is there a new thread I don't know about?
Lizz, so about your friend. Utterly heartbreaking
Hi KR. Good to hear from you.
Wilkie, sorry to hear about the business. But as others have said, better to walk away now. Am sure there will be a better opportunity just perfect for you both around the corner.

Seem to be lots of moves just gone/in the pipeline/ going on at the moment. A bit of added stress for you all!

This BH we're off to Ireland for a wedding. Am looking forward to the wedding, but not much else. What do I pack? How many nappies? How much / what food? It's not like we're off to the back and beyond but where do I start? Dh has organised flights / hotel so I have no control and don't know timings, luggage constraints, or anything (this is the control freak in me coming out). Dh tells me we don't need to worry about a car seat from the airport to the hotel I really don't know. We're all in one room at the hotel so what do we do in the evening? TV on subtitles and slurp wine quietly? So many unanswered questions. Then we get to the wedding - presume dh will ramble off with our mates getting arseholed whilst I'm left holding the (very cute looking in pretty dress) baby. Rant over. Any tips appreciated.

evening had the day from hell today, woke up(after night from hell with hattie) lounge floor soaked in water, it appears there is a leak in the bathroom (dh had gone to work and not 'noticed' ) phoned home insurance and we have emergency assistance thing that pays for plumber to come out, they phone at 8.30 and say they'll be here by 5.30 (bang goes the playdate for this afternoon).

Anyway they phone back and say won't be here till after 11am so we tootled off to clinic massive queues HV decides as Ellie nearly 3 we should do her weight/height then rambles on about her being underweight (shes 75th centile height and 25th centile for weight) well dh and his family are all skinny/lanky so shes obviously got his build plus the flippin child does not stay still for 10seconds!!! Then she picks hattie up to weigh her and bangs her head on a plug socket on the wall then panics and gets Dr to look at her (all fine!) she weighs 17lb exactly so doing fine!!

Get home to one bored Ellie, one grumpy tired Hattie and I give up bung Toy Story on TV and settle Hattie, then bloody neoghbour rings doorbell and wakes her. Plumber turns up at 3 and sorts problem but we cant use bath/shower for 24hours because he has had to reseal all the taps etc (nipped to eldery lady next door and bathed kids). 6 O Clock ellie wants to go to bed - she is asleep by 6.10, Hattie screams place down till 6.40 then sleeps I go to get washing out of machine and it hasnt done the 'spin' fuckin machine has broken again (7 times in 14months and its out of warranty but I am going to give Hotpoint hell tomorrow) so now got crappola dinner in oven and giving up on everything else.

Rgee I would never let DH do that!! Has he arranged cot for Pippa at hotel? I would take a small compact pack of nappies and some jars of food and question the car seat thing!!

sorry rant over