March 2007 - All present and correct now

[LunarSea]

Morning all - new thread as the old one's about to hit the 1000 posts limit.

Not so great this morning - feel like an egg-bound chicken IYSWIM. Grrr - especially as I managed to avoid it all the way through pregnancy. And not sure if there's anything I can take for it while I'm feeding?

[foxcub]

Mossy - I have that dual edged feeling regarding Bfing too...I want advice but I don't want anyone giving me advice. I invited the HV round to watch my latch then told her to go away when she tried to help me latch Monti on.

BFing is intensely intimate and personal and we all have slightly different ways of doing it and its easy to suddenly feel uncomfortable - sitting there with your boobs out makes you vulnerable and feeding your child must be one of the most primeval (?) and instinctive human actions. I really need a bit of advice on my positioning (have bad posture and hence backache) but I can't face people giving me advice

I found going topless and feeding Monti in just his nappy really helpful - the skin to skin contact made both of us relax - I fed like that for the first 3 weeks, hiding in the attic. Even now I'll only feed in certain situations/locations.

I need some advice now:

Monti's belly button stinks - and I can't work out how to clean it! Its shape is like an inner dome surrounded by an outer ring - I never had this trouble with thre others. Do any of you clean your baby's belly buttons and if so how/what with???

Thanx

[LunarSea]

Mossie - I put Toby more where my chest is (or to be more precise where his mouth is in the right place to let him latch on by himself if he wants to! He has our duvet over his lower half, and nothing over to top part of his body and that combined with the warmth from snuggling up to me seems to keep him at about the right temperature. I know they say don't use duvets with babies, but it's not really a problem when they're tiny and immobile as they can't wriggle themselves down under the covers iyswim.

[sazzybee]

Mossie - foxy is a very wise woman. Listen to her.

I know what you mean about reading too much - it's a bit overwhelming isn't it? It only just dawned on me today (and Elliot will be 6 weeks on Wednesday) that if he doesn't absolutely stick to what he's supposed to be doing according to the books, he's not got something wrong and I'm not a crap parent, we're just real people not textbook. Sorry if that sounds bleeding obvious (it is) but I really only just have relaxed about it.

I sleep with him and put him on the duvet swaddled with a blanket draped over him. I sleep far enough away that I'm not worried about rolling onto him in the night and I've swapped my big fluffy down duvet for a thin synthetic one which doesn't puff up. I really like it because I can cuddle him in the mornings which means I can get more sleep. Sadly it dawned on me today that it's the longest continual period I've had a man in my bed in years

[sazzybee]

kitty, even

(not that foxy isn't also wise - I know what you mean about bfing criticism)

[Chocolatepenny]

Mossie
I lay Ted on the matteress next to me with the duvet pulled down so its not on him (he is swaddled in a baby blanket). His head is near my chest and he can hear me breathing. Seems to work, certainly calms him.
I often fall asleep with him on my chest, only now I've noticed he hates it when I put him down and often wakees himself up. Paranoid I am creating a bad habit which will be hard to break..but at 4am who cares it works!

[Jaysecond]

have a look at this for a laugh

[TheBlonde]

Foxy - I have been cleaning the belly button with just cotton wool and water
It went a bit yucky and the GP said to press down a bit on the skin round it so you can really clean the creases - hope this makes sense

Mossie - if you have another bad night you can always try having your OH hold Bertie on his chest, mine can be soothed by a manly heartbeat sometimes

[Rosylily]

I put Hasan above me a bit lying on his blanket and pull my pillow down so the duvet just covers his lower half. or sometimes I cradle him in my arms if he's a bit squirmy.

Mossy, I remember with dd I was upstairs feeding her and I could hear my sil, bil, dh and a family friend discussing how i was doing it wrong
Actually I was doing it wrong because I was so stressed with them around that I wasn't relaxing and i should have been ignoring them!
I have great support and help but there are times when it can be smothering and actually disempowering.

[foxcub]

Thanx theBlonde

sazzy - I know I'm not wise

mad yes, wise no...

[divastrop]

fox-any stress i suffered around the time of having ds2 i put down to xh being a grade A tosser,our marriage ending(i was glad but it was stressful),having another(rather unhealthy)relationship very soon after,and then the illness and death of my grandad.so i wouldnt have noticed if the extra child was hard work.

kitty-thanks for the (unintended) advice re 6 children.i actually really want to get steralised but im worried dp will decide he wants another kid at some point and leave me for a childless 20 year old.

actually,that prospect is less scary than the thought of going through pregnancy again

[Jaysecond]

foxy, cooled boiled water is the best thing for belly buttons, worked a treat on Jens.

Impressed with you guys and your sleeping rituals, theres no way i could slepp with Jens in with me, its not that i dont trust mysefl rolling over, more like i am selfish and dont want him to disturb what LITTLE sleep i am getting. I wouldnt be able to sleep knowing he was there, so i put up with the moses basket right next to my bed - yet far enough away so i can sleep some.... mind you with him feeding every two hrs it seems a bit fruitless....

I have also had smiles from Jensen, although i am sure he is being sinister and its more like sneering at me with a 'i am going to feed every two hours till i am six months old' look on his face!!

Dolly, try not to stress, i had the same thing last year, i got all of it back and wasnt charged anything, am sure it will all be ok

Might go to bed now, might not....

[kittyhas6]

That's brill Jay

[Rosylily]

Lol Jay

Fox, i cheat because ds1 is 15 and a great help.

Where has Laidback got to? Househunting?

I'm eating fresh pineapple for no reason! ooh and i might have some saveloy just for the fun of it!

[divastrop]

Elsie has an 'outie' belly button
anyway,can babies get thrush in their belly buttons?i ask as i know adults can(i was going to type 'humans' then,im a bit drunk due to 1.5 glasses of wine drunk quickly after announcing to dp i'm off duty now!!!)cos i got it a couple of times when i was very overweight and my bb was like a deep cavern.i had to get thrush cream for it,anyway

mossie-i remember xp's mad mother staring at me while i bf ds1,it was very off-putting.she thought it was amazing,like the human race had only just discovered thats what breasts were for.but that was one of the many things that put me off bf,so please talk to somebody.where i live there are trained bf supporters who work for sure start,they sort of 'befriend' bf mums and come round to offer advice etc in a relaxed way.they are just mums who have bf,not proffesionals.do you have owt like that where you are?
is there a community parents' scheme where you are?

foxy-its 3rd child syndrome.noboby offers advice as they assume you know it all,and you think you should know it all so you dont want to ask!
i had to ask the mw to show me how to bath ds2 in hospital

[divastrop]

rosy-its cos you are mentally preparing yourself for being 8 months preg with no.5

i think something from that cd must ahve seeped into my brain as i walked in here before and said to dp'i need some me time'

[Rosylily]

Diva you never know I do find it hard to imagine never being pregnant again because I'm so immersed in babydom at the moment, but I do think that feeling will fade when I start getting on with my own things again. Then I shall just look forward to being a granny mush (though hopefully not too soon.)

[kittyhas6]

Diva, is that cd any good then?

[foxcub]

Diva - I think you can get thrush anywhwre to be honest - anywhwere warm and moist anyway

You sound like you had such a hard time when DS2 was born - you came through it though!! All the stronger too me thinks

Mossy - I put Monti's head higher than mine, like Rosy doeas with hasan, and also put a pillow at his feet so he can't move down the bed. then I place the duvet up to his tummy, again like hasan, so he won't overheat. I just love seeing his gorgeous little face when I wake

[divastrop]

kitty-im not sure yet,ive only listened to it twice and read the first chapter of the book,and the cd is kind of subliminal,i can only remember the first couple of minutes even though it goes on for half hour

[Mossie]

Ahhh... I feel a hell of a lot better this morning. I feel atm like I'm having "good days" and "bad days" iyswim and today is a good day.

"It only just dawned on me today (and Elliot will be 6 weeks on Wednesday) that if he doesn't absolutely stick to what he's supposed to be doing according to the books, he's not got something wrong and I'm not a crap parent, we're just real people not textbook." Sazzy... that is exactly what I'm having to realise myself.

Yesterday I gave in to dh and got him a dummy. I felt awful guilty, and I'm being incredibly careful that I don't use it as a substitute for feeding him, but he loves it!

Spoke to dh about co-sleeping, basically we've said that we'll keep him in his moses basket by the side of the bed if he is fast asleep, but if he wakes or needs feeding, bring him into the bed. I left him sleeping with dh earlier while I went and had a shower and Bertie loved it!

Diva I phoned the NCT Breastfeeding Helpline yesterday when I just didn't know whether he was latching on yesterday, she said if I have any more problems I can call again and she may be able to get someone to come over...

Jay lol at Jensen's "sinister" looks! Yesterday when Bertie was crying I decided he looked like (a very cute and pink version of) Gollum!

Thank you all for your great advice btw... you are all very wise!

[Rosylily]

Diva, I just sent that book to my sis and i need to get it for myself again, I just remember it made me feel great and really positive. I was able to listen consciously to the cd. There are times when two voices are speaking at the same time, one for your left brain and one for your right!

Mossy you sound great today...I'm having a bad day I'm just so tired and we are all still in pjs and dd is missing nursery today.

Hasan is fast asleep, as is dh who arrived in the middle of the night and I'm jealous of people sleeping now the way i used to be jealous of people walking fast!

[kittyhas6]

Glad you're having a good day Mossie!

Rosy, I know what you mean! I don't dare look at myself in the mirror, terrified of the disheveled, tired and vacant woman looking back at me .

[foxcub]

I look about 90 atm - have lost loads of weight though (mostly from the bags under my eyes)

Mossy - Soooooo glad he likes the dummy - its a real lifesaver - or nipplesaver!

Taking Monti and his stinky naval to GP later to make sure its just grubby and not infected. Its quite tricky to clean it cos its a funny shape...

[Piffle]

Mossie great news about the dummy, with dd is changed our lives tbh as she was SO sucky and I could feed her forever and she would just eat vomit scream with hunger eat vomit scream with hunger. You get the picture.
Dummy gave us 3 hrly feeding!
I never used it at night time though. Thankfully she was settled at night - BUT I put mine to sleep on their tummies CUE HORROR and disapproving looks
I'm sorry but that's the only way mine ever settle without screaming and hands flailing, if I'd known that when ds1 was 8 wks old I'd never have had murderous thoughts about him.

Well NEWSflash ** we got 4.5 hrs and 4 hrs last night
9.30 -2am 2-6
Hooray

Tried to put him to bed at 7pm after I fed him (two boobs first time ever, having none of it, very awake infact so he sat up with us through dinner, started doing that staring thing and slow blinks at 8pm
Left my dinner and sezied my chance (baby whiperer sleep signs are correct!) and he went off beautifully drifting off silently as I sat and watched and talked about our day.

Felt all calm and serene and in control!

May it continue as dp is away til friday

[kittyhas6]

That's good news Piffle. A little bit of kip makes such a difference doesn't it?

I've worked out that Ronnie sleeps best when his movements are restricted, either by being tightly held in my arms, in a sling or in his swaddling sock.

Last night he started flailing around at some unearthly hour, he didn't want food (strangely) so I pressed him up against my tummy and held him really close. He drifted off almost instantly.