Babies after Infertility

[Blue2014]

Here is a thread for all of us who got our babies even though we never actually believed this could happen us ...

Too sleep deprived (and surprised!)!to be witty or more interesting in the thread title ...

Come join us.

btw from my experience where I lived before in London most people didn't have family nearby so very little help. Since I've moved out of London everyone seems to have family nearby and plenty of help. My concern at the moment is, assuming we have at least one good embryo, that if we go ahead with an FET and an appointment date falls on a day dd isn't at nursery what do we do. There is no way I am taking her with me. Our clinic is not far from DHs work so I hope he would be able to get away for a bit.

Is there any flexibility in your nursery @trixietrixie so you could add an extra day given a few weeks notice?

There could be Lucie, I'll ask. And with intralipids I know it's not exact days so that should be ok.

How are you getting on Lucie?

Not great really, tested today at 4dpt and I know it's early but it's when I've always seen a faint line with my bfps but nothing so not holding out too much hope 😕

Oh no, I'm sorry Lucie it is very early but I guess if you've always seen a faint line before it must be hard to have hope. Still crossing my fingers though

Still keeping my fingers crossed for you Lucie. X

6dpt and bfn. Thought I might have seen a faint line yesterday but today I don't think so and probably just seeing what I hoped was there. So I think that's probably it for us. I'll take a couple more tests and do the meds for a couple more days and then stop. Feel bit sad at the moment but also know how lucky we are too. I don't think I could do anymore rounds of ivf even if I wanted to. Had forgotten what an emotional drain it all is. Wishing everybody else the best of luck with any siblings. Keep us posted trixie x

Oh no, I'm sorry @lucieloosLucie. I'm hoping its a slow implanter so fingers still crossed. This all really takes me back to the early days and we really are all very lucky. It's so hard when completing your family isn't at all straightforward.
I think pgs testing takes a month or so so probably no news for a while but will definitely keep you posted. Would be lovely to keep this chat going when we can anyway.

Yes it's taken me back as well and it's been hard but I'm going to give myself a few days to get used to things and then look ahead and try and leave all this infertility behind me and enjoy the 2 beautiful babies we have and make lots of memories 💖

I think I'm going to scale back on groups and things but i will definitely keep checking in here every now and again as would love to see some more siblings. Wishing everyone lots of love and happiness for the future. Enjoy your beautiful babies x

Sorry to hear the latest, @lucieloos. It's never easy this assisted conception thing, no matter what stage of life you're at. Enjoy the time with your little ones. We're definitely so lucky to have them.

Good luck with PGS and the next stages, @trixietrixie!

Sorry to read your news @lucieloos - I hope you're able to move on. I can totally appreciate how it brings back all the old feelings so thinking of you.

@trixietrixie good luck with the pgs testing!!

Afm - number 2 has arrived and he's great. Much easier than his brother was!

Really sorry to hear your news @lucieloos - look after yourself xxx

Congrats @Chocolateandwineplease27 & @Grumpelstiltskin. Enjoy every moment! X

Hi everyone, sorry I completely missed your last cycle @lucieloos. It’s been a few weeks now I guess - I don’t know how it must feel when it’s your final final cycle, but I hope things are starting to feel less painful and you can concentrate on enjoying your lovely family this Christmas. It’s annoying we have to be somehow more grateful than everyone else, but given where/when we started we are all very lucky to be where we are. Hugs to you though, all the same, it really sucks.

@JustTrixie any news on the testing? when do you think you’ll get going? I’m so excited for you having made the decision to try for a second. I have everything crossed for you.

Congrats to @Grumpelstiltskin and @Chocolateandwineplease27 - his amazing to have a new addition to your little families! Hope it’s going well.

As for me, I’m 35w now and ginormous! Planned c section at 39w but I’m starting to wonder if I’ll make it that far. I also have a constant nagging feeling that there’ll be something wrong with the baby, like an illness or something. I don’t know where it’s coming from as all scans ok, it’s just an anxiety I guess maybe just unconvinced we could be so lucky to have TWO healthy babies. I don’t know. Did anyone else feel this?

@star1980 how are things going? Any sign of the little one making an appearance?

@trixietrixie any news on the testing?

Feeling a little better here but still have a yearning for a third. We have considered trying again as we would both like another but it's just the cost of it all and the fact the chances aren't great. We could easily end up blowing £10k on 2-3 rounds with nothing to show for it.

Hey @lucieloos, glad you’re feeling a bit better but can really understand that yearning especially as it really seemed like you’d done it a few months ago you’ll have already adjusted to the idea/reality of 3. Whatever you decide and whichever way this goes you will be ok and you will be extremely happy in your family in the end. It’s just making the decision and weighing everything up on top of the emotions of just not feeling your family is complete. Have you thought about not having treatment, stopping at 2, but just not going on contraception? I don’t know if that half-decision will just be back to the torture of the early days but it might help to close the door on treatment and leave it to fate?

All good here thanks for your message. No sign yet but I’m 38w today and getting lots of braxton hicks, I really thought things were starting last night. So glad they weren’t as today is DD’s 2nd birthday and I really didn’t want them to share a birthday!!! C section planned for 39+3 so hoping I don’t go into labour before then.

How are you doing @star1980? Must just be a few days until your C section (hopefully you haven't gone into labour) good luck!

We had our appointment at the clinic re the testing. Turns out it is a bit more expensive than I thought, would work out the same as just doing 2 FETS and hoping one of them worked. I've now got cold feet though...on the one hand I would love dd to have a sibling, on the other I quite like how things are at the moment and don't think I can face going through treatment, labour and the early days again. So we've shelved the idea for now and will see how we feel later on this year.

Hope you're doing ok @lucieloos.

Hi all, just wanted to let you know that DS was born last Friday by c section as planned. I had really strong braxton hicks for weeks but luckily didn’t go into labour before the day. We are in the midst of newborn sleep deprivation but very happy and DD is taking the whole thing in her stride, which is great!

@JustTrixie good luck whichever way you decide to go. Just enjoy your lovely family, there’s plenty of time to decide whether trying for no 2 is a journey you’re up for. And lots and lots of good reasons to stop at one. x

Aaah @star1980 I was thinking over the weekend I hadn’t checked in on this thread for awhile and you must be due, and here we are. Massive congratulations, enjoy the newborn snuggliness (even amongst the sleep deprivation), and hoping no 1 is adjusting to the shock of not being the main event as well as can be expected.

@lucieloos sorry you’re still struggling with no 3 or not. Tough decision to make with a fresh cycle. What are you thinking? We are also still mulling over no 3; still very much in 2 (or 3!) minds about it. As we come out of baby stage with DD, who turned 1 recently, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and am remembering more and more that the baby stage is really tough. not sure I want to go through that again! On the other hand...3 kids would be lovely. DH I think similarly swings back and forth - on a bad (sleepless) night he says no but I caught him last week looking at our council planning portal to check that we could reasonably do a basement extension (we’d discussed if we had 3 we’d do an extension to create some more space) so 🤷🏼‍♀️😂. The real problem is that DS, 3, still doesn’t sleep through the night but DD, 1 has done so since she was 6 weeks old. If we could have another one of her we’d take it but the risk is we end up with another non sleeper!

to everyone else, hope you are well x

@star1980 huge congratulations that's brilliant news! Glad all is well and enjoy every minute.

@trixietrixie aw I understand and at least your embryos are there so you can take your time and see how you feel.

@stealthbanana we are exactly the same and swing back and forth all the time. DH says that a third would be nice and if it was a matter of just saying yes go on then we'll have one and it was as simple as that then yes he would go for it but he's not massively keen on all the ivf again, going to Czech again, spending more money etc for what will probably be a relatively small chance. Even I sway wildly I think if I knew what I wanted and said to him I really want to try then he would but I just don't know. One day I think yes I really want to and then the next day I'm unsure again and think maybe our time would be better spent giving as much attention as we can to the two we have rather than stretching ourselves with another. I just really don't know how we will decide and I kind of gave myself a deadline of starting on February cycle if we were going to do it so that's really close now but I just don't know.

Well you don’t have to keep to a deadline do you? You could always prep up a bit and then see how you felt at the moment you had to commit to a cycle. Ugh. It’s tough.

I just worry about 2 more years of hyperemesis pregnancy + baby hell, plus what if it was twins? What if the baby had severe difficulties? Ugh. So tough.

Well the thing is I will be 41 in June and I think my chances will be virtually nil then. If we're doing it we may as well make up our minds and do it as soon as possible. Time is definitely of the essence at this age. It is tough.

Plus I've already given myself 2 months to think since before Christmas and I'm no further forward with it so don't think anymore time would make that much difference on that front

What does your gut say? It’s such a hard decision. I’d almost be tempted to try one round and see how you go - but then I think you run the risk of falling into the infertility block hole again and getting obsessed.

Have you had the tests again? What’s your amh like?

@stealthbanana no I haven't had the tests again I wouldn't go down that route. I do low stimms anyway so would just aim for quality over quantity. I just really don't know. I think I do kind of want to give it another go and if we could have one naturally I think I would but it's just doing the whole ivf thing again, leaving the kids (ok only overnight but still) and like you say just falling down that emotional blackhole again.