Babies after Infertility

[Blue2014]

Here is a thread for all of us who got our babies even though we never actually believed this could happen us ...

Too sleep deprived (and surprised!)!to be witty or more interesting in the thread title ...

Come join us.

Oh no I'm so sorry lucie - such a crappy one when you were getting used to the idea and so frustrating that it can't be (relatively) straightforward for once

Oh no @lucieloos, hoping for your sake you’re wrong! Fingers crossed x

Oh my goodness @lucieloos - I'm so sorry I'm doubly sorry as I wrote a response to your earlier message a few days ago and I see now it never sent. If it turns out to be a definite chemical, I know you will get through it and be ok, try again and at least you will know you gave all your embryos a chance. I know it's super tough, but there are positives to a slightly larger gap etc. If it turns out to be sticky in the end, then all those complications will all just sort themselves out. xx

@Chocolateandwineplease27, congratulations! You must be going out of your mind - come on baby 2, get a move on! I'm currently 25 weeks with no 2 and having a planned c section so I won't even reach 39 weeks which is really weird

Hope everyone else doing ok and @trixietrixie you have plenty of time to make a decision on whether to go again. There's no rush at all and you just have to feel right with whatever you choose to do - either choice will be the right one when it comes down to it.

@star1980 thanks so much for your message. The line wasn't progressing and getting lighter so I've stopped meds and waiting for af. It feels strange now as we will go back for this last one which is good as I would always have felt sad leaving it behind but then that will be it. I'm not very confident about this one working and that will be the end of our journey then. No more scans, transfers, pregnancy tests, babies. It's like the end of a season and I'm so fortunate to have my two babies I know that but I still feel sad that after doing this for so long in a couple of months it will probably all be over for good. Just struggling to come to terms with it a little at the moment. I think if we had a third then I would feel our family is complete and it would be a lot easier as I wouldn't want anymore so wouldn't feel like this if that makes sense.

Sorry to hear this Lucie - hope you're OK (as possible). The whole process can be so deflating and draining.

Personally (and I know its easy to say) I'd try not to think too far ahead at this stage. Do the next transfer when you're ready and go from there.

Thanks @Chocolateandwineplease27 I think it might be ectopic again The kind is still there it looks about the same every day. Possibly slightly darker but barely noticeable. I'm getting bloods done tomorrow and Monday but it doesn't look like it's going anywhere fast. I had an ectopic before my first baby and it was awful. Went on until 10 weeks until I eventually had medical management. It was just a constant state of limbo so this is the worst possible outcome for me.

Oh god lucie what a nightmare - definitely the worst outcome and how stressful for you. Really, really feel for you and keeping everything crossed its not an ectopic and resolves quickly. So tough when you've got little ones to look after and keep some degree of normality too

oh my goodness Lucie, I'm so sorry to read this, how very stressful. I remember how awful your ectopic was. Also keeping everything crossed for you

Thanks both I am finding it stressful with two little ones at home and having to play games with peppa pig and make up stories etc when this is all that's on my mind. Praying it drops over the weekend. Just another reminder of how difficult all this baby making is and maybe we should have just knocked it on the head and been happy with the beautiful 2 we have.

Gosh @lucieloos that sounds incredibly stressful. Hope it all resolves itself one way or the other and it’s not another ectopic.

And don’t think that you’ve been tempting fate - as we all know, all this stuff is random and capricious.

Thanks @stealthbanana. So I had the beta done this morning and decided to use my last digi when I got home. It went from being pregnant 1-2 four days ago to not pregnant this morning so hopefully looks like the levels are dropping finally. I'm obviously really pleased it seems to be resolving itself but sad overall that it didn't work x

Thinking of you lucie v glad ectopic looks less likely but completely understand the sadness. I found the transfer which didn't work between my son and this one v hard to deal with when you've got a little one depending on you and you cant just hide away

@lucieloos glad it sounds like it’s not ectopic but at the negative result. It’s so hard when you spend all this time convincing yourself to go back for another transfer and then it doesn’t work. Take care of yourself xx

Thanks @stealthbanana and @Chocolateandwineplease27 I had the results of the beta this afternoon and it was only 5 which they count as negative so it has dropped quickly and it's definitely over. So now to wait for af and we will probably go back straight away for the final one. Funnily enough the only embryos I've ever had work are those that I've done in back to back cycles. I really don't expect to have much luck with this final one though. I know you had a good euploid rate with your day 6 embryos @stealthbanana but I've been looking up some info on them and apparently day 6 ones are more likely to be aneuploid. We will try and see though.

Yes my day 6ers had a much higher euploid rate. Ofc I haven’t actually used any of them (and never will!).

You never know, @lucieloos, will keep fingers crossed for you but at least you will have some peace & resolution either way after this one (and it saves you from worrying about what to do with that last embie!).

Thanks @stealthbanana yes we will have tried our best and we definitely can't complain with what we've got. It won't be a bad thing to put this journey to rest. My next transfer date is set so I'll let you all know the outcome. Thanks so much for all the support.

Oh @lucieloos so sorry to hear about the rollercoaster you've been on. At least, as you say, you have tried everything you can and I hope that you're doing ok- good luck for your next transfer.

@Chocolateandwineplease27 hope you have met your new baby now and are enjoying the cuddles!

As for me, DS arrived safely seven weeks ago and is a total dude. He's pretty chilled so far and his big sister dotes on him which is so lovely. Despite my reservations I'm enjoying wrangling both and remembering how to look after a (not so) tiny baby!
Hope everyone else is well.

Congratulations @Grumpelstiltskin, nice to hear all is going well with two. Hope you’re enjoying these early days and glad DD is doting!

@lucieloos how are you doing? Are things settling down? It must be so hard dealing with a miscarriage whilst trying to be brave and happy for your two little ones. Sending lots of hugs xx

@Grumpelstiltskin that's amazing news! Congratulations! So glad all is going well.

@star1980 thanks for asking. I thought I was doing ok and then on the weekend a close relative announced she is pregnant and the due date is 6 days before I would have been due. It was a complete shock as she's fairly young and didn't even think she would be thinking of a family yet. I'm happy for her of course just wish the timing had been a little different and it would have been amazing to have both been pregnant at the same time so makes me a little sad too.

I probably sound crazy as if this was anyone else and they already had 2 children from ivf I would think why are they so hung up on having a third but it's hard to explain I didn't think it would be like this but I've found that I've got swept up in all the emotions and tribulations of infertility again and of course there's not the agonising heartache of trying to conceive the first but when it's the final chance to complete the family that you always imagined it is still hard. I think it's just the fact that the decision is taken away from us again.

I even briefly contemplated whether I would consider a couple more fresh rounds but financially it would mean getting into a huge amount of debt and the stats are dire for a 40 year old, only around 15% live birth rate so I really couldn't justify it.

Anyway, I have my final transfer on friday, my last ever embryo. It's the slow one though so I've already given up hope to be honest but I wanted to use them all and at least I've been able to do that.

Good luck Lucie, sounds like a very emotional time. You don't sound crazy at all. You can't help the way you feel and its completely justified.

Congratulations grumplestiltskin! Lovely to read how well it's going with 2.

After being fairly adamant we were sticking at one I've started coming round to the idea of having a second and we've made an appointment at the clinic where our embryos are stored. We have 7 and went through 3 embryos with full immunes to get dd. Can't face possibly having to do 3+ transfers and won't put 2 back so we're going to get them tested - eek.

That's very exciting @Trixietrixie and definitely makes sense to do it that way when you have so many remaining. Keep us posted!

So I had the final little blast transferred today and just got home from our last every trip to the clinic in Czech. I'm not holding out much hope but for now I'm just going to enjoy the next few days reunited with our final embryo 😊

I’m so far behind on this thread, I haven’t received notifications for ages so assumed it had gone quiet. I’m sorry to hear our news Lucie but keeping my fingers crossed for you for this round.

As for us, we’re well into the threenager stage with our little boy and our little girl is almost 18 months old! I’m finding it challenging at the moment even though our two are certainly not as crazy as some toddlers out there.
We’re just getting past a sickness bug which was particularly unpleasant. I’m sure it’s just the start of the winter illnesses, gah!

Are many of you sahm? I am, for all intents and purposes, although I work twilight shifts at weekends. Sometimes I find the monotony of life at home with the children quite hard and then I feel guilty for thinking like that, as i remember back to the struggle to conceive and how much I longed for children and how they are only young for such a short time etc. Do any of you have an similar experiences? My husband works very long hours and then with me working weekend evenings it’s sometimes feels like I’m never switching off, especially as the children still don’t sleep well.

Hope everyone is well. X

@hp07 oh I have all this to come soon. My little one will be 1 year old next month and will have a threenager next year. Sorry to hear it's been hard. I'm not a sahm but I've been on maternity leave for the past year and at home with both of the kids pretty much 24/7. My husband also works long hours and even when he's home in the evening he's still working. I get what you mean about the monotony. Sometimes I find it hard, our weeks tend to be very similar and it's been impossible for me to really get more than the occasional hour or two to myself over the past year. Obviously I love them to bits and love being with them but I think sometimes you need that little break. My parents took both of them for a whole day last week as they will have them 2 days a week when I go back to work in jan so they are practicing. I found it did me so much good having that time to myself and being able to do some things for me. Do you have any help with the children or any family that would help with them now and again?

Yes we do have family around and particularly my husbands family are very good at helping when we ask but I don’t like to keep asking all the time. I’m sure there are people who have a lot less family nearby/help, but I think especially with as small an age gap as we’ve had it can be very hard work sometimes. We are very very lucky, don’t get me wrong, I love the children to pieces, but my god I hope the tantrums start to dial down soon! In my experience, so far 3 is much worse than 2
I do feel jealous when I hear of friends whose parents come to babysit every week so they can have date nights or others whose parents take the children one day a week so they can get on with jobs around the house and attend appointments in peace, I’m not sure if this is the norm or I just have some very lucky friends!

Fingers crossed Lucie!!
I'm a SAHM, DH works long hours and no family nearby. We've also recently moved so trying to build up new local friendships. We're lucky to be able to send dd to nursery twice a week so I get a break and get the chance to get chores done, any appointments, bit of me time etc. And she still naps thankfully, dreading losing the nap. Oh no to 3s being worse than the 2s! I really struggle to keep calm at times.