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Original poster

Babies after Infertility

566 replies

Blue2014 · 20/12/2016 11:38

Here is a thread for all of us who got our babies even though we never actually believed this could happen us ...

Too sleep deprived (and surprised!)!to be witty or more interesting in the thread title ...

Come join us.

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stealthbanana · 05/02/2020 08:37

I wouldn’t worry about leaving the kids, they’ll be fine!

It sounds like you want to do it but feel like you shouldn’t. How would you feel if you made the decision today not to try?

In your situation I would probably give it a go. Whether that’s the smart decision or not is a different matter!

lucieloos · 05/02/2020 10:09

Yes I'm leaning more towards giving it a go because I don't want to regret it further down the line maybe when these two are both in school and things have calmed down a little and then wish we had tried for another. It's not like I have the luxury of time. If I were a bit younger we could decide that we aren't going to try but then perhaps change our mind somewhere along the line but this is it for me now whatever we decide will be final. The only thing that does worry me if we do have another is the chaos of it all. Two can be a struggle at times especially with their small age gap so I think 3 would be very hard for a while and I'm concerned about whether we would be able to give each enough attention. Is it better to just have 2 and have more time to spend individually with each?

stealthbanana · 06/02/2020 08:44

Would you consider doing a freeze all and making the age gap a bit bigger? There’s not the time pressure on transferring a frozen.

I am terrified of a small gap, if we were to have a third we would buy in some more help at vast expense so I hear you. In terms of the individual attention - it’s swings and roundabouts. They’ll definitely get less 121, but gain another sibling relationship. I am one of 4 (under 5!) and don’t feel like I was neglected and I have great relationships with my sibs - one of the reasons I’m considering no3, two kids seems very quiet and tame!

trixietrixie · 06/02/2020 11:04

Massive congratulations @star1980! Glad to hear all is going well.

@lucieloos, yes I definitely feel very lucky to have our embryos it really does take the pressure off. I don't envy you your decision. I'm one of 3 and feel like I had plenty of my parents attention, wouldn't change it for the world - makes me feel a bit guilty about dithering so much about whether to give dd a sibling! I remember reading a while ago somewhere that whatever decision you make is the right one. Do you have a good support network if you were to have another? How long would there be between a new baby arriving and your dd starting school?

lucieloos · 06/02/2020 12:27

@stealthbanana no I didn't really want children any later than 40 and if we were successful I would be 41 now when he or she is born and I definitely don't want to leave it any longer than that so wouldn't do freeze all. We had 18 months between 1 and 2 which was very hard. This time it would be more like 2 years if it were to work which seems slightly more manageable but we would still have 3 under 4 which I know would be hard. I have the pair of them on my own all day today and already all the bickering and squabbling over toys has got to me 🙈 That's great to hear of your experience though and you're right the benefit of gaining another sibling probably outweighs it.

@trixietrixie yes definitely takes the pressure off having your embryos and you have a good number of them too so if you decide at some point you would like another then you have a good chance. My parents are very supportive and they do what they can but they are late 60s now so do find it tiring. They have them both 2 days a week at the moment now I've gone back to work. We only have a small family on my side so that's it really and dh's family live a couple of hours away so no support there really.
The eldest would be in preschool every morning by the time another arrived and then private nursery in the afternoon a couple of times a week. The youngest would be in nursery for 1.5 days a week and would also go to my parents for a day as well so I wouldn't really have all 3 of them at once very much. By the time I had finished maternity eldest would be in school full time, and youngest would be in pre school every morning and then just the baby who I guess would go to my parents and private nursery.

lucieloos · 06/02/2020 12:31

I think one of the main things holding me back as well is the thought of spending all the money for a pretty small chance of success but I guess the problem is if we don't try we will never know.

stealthbanana · 07/02/2020 08:36

Well only you can judge what the impact on your finances will be. At the end of the day, if you got your baby I assume you could afford it/think it was worth it? In a bizarre way then if you spend the money and aren’t successful you will spend less going forwards as wont have a 3rd child so it will balance out - brutal way of looking at it but true.

Sounds like you’ve decided to do it, really. Keep us posted xx

lucieloos · 07/02/2020 12:01

@stealthbanana you really have a way of making me looks at things from a different angle 😂 True I would spend less than if we did have a third! I think I am definitely leaning more towards doing it. I'm just having trouble committing and making the final decision and the thought of all the travelling around it all involves but then on the other hand I tell myself that even that would all be done one way or another in a few months and then that would be it .

I think at this age 1 in 3 - 4 blasts should be normal. My problem is I would be lucky to get 2 blasts from a round so I would probably commit to 2 egg collections with a very outside chance of a third but probably not and then that would definitely be it either way.

stealthbanana · 07/02/2020 15:28

Haha sorry I know it’s weird logic. But it’s sort of true

Would you PGS this time round? Or just try to get 3 and then put them back 1 by 1. If you had blasts left over would you be ok about letting them go (I know you were struggling with that last time)?!

Sounds like you know what you want to do tho.

lucieloos · 07/02/2020 20:34

No I want to pgs as I would be worried about the higher risk of abnormalities at this age and I can't be bothered with all the travelling for embryos that would never work anyway and the stress of pregnancy tests. I think I would probably test whatever I get from round 1 and obviously if I get a normal one transfer that and that would probably be it. They did tell me at this age only 1 in 2 normal ones tend to take or that's what they've found from their stats but because I don't make lots of blasts it would take way too much for me to get 2 normals. I don't even think I would get one really but if I did get one I think that would be our final transfer.

lucieloos · 07/02/2020 20:38

I will need to run everything past dh this weekend. It's finding the right time when he's not stressed out by our current kids

stealthbanana · 08/02/2020 08:14

Yes that makes sense. Well, it sounds like a plan. As you say you just need to sell it to DH when kids are being lovely rather than insane

lucieloos · 18/02/2020 11:04

So news from us...not one to do things by halves we decided to go ahead and try again and started straight away! I'm on the same mini protocol that I used twice 3 years ago which brought me good results. As it's mini it's only technically meant to collect around 2-4 good quality eggs but I responded really well to it when I used it previously and collected 7 eggs the first time and 8 eggs the second time which resulted in my daughter.

Anyway it's not going so well this time unfortunately which is probably due to age which I kind of expected. I'm day 11 today and had our first scan on day 9 which showed only 2 follicles growing at the right size (both 12mm). I'm due back for final scan tomorrow afternoon and then will decide if it's worth going ahead or not. If there's anything less than the 2 still at the right size we will cancel but I'm undecided what to do if those 2 are still going and looking a decent size. It seems a lot to go through for 2 eggs but there's a chance one of those 2 could be the one and even though I've had more eggs collected previously I'm still always left with 1-2 blasts in the end so it's a tricky one.

stealthbanana · 19/02/2020 19:38

Omg @lucieloos ahaha I love your style

Fingers crossed you get some good news. Would you ttc naturally with 2 follies (can’t remember if you have mfi)?

lucieloos · 19/02/2020 20:57

Had scan today and the two follies are growing they are 16 and 17mm now. There are two others but they will be too small. They have said to trigger tomorrow night for egg collection on Saturday. We can't try naturally as we have mfi so it's either go or forget it altogether or try again next month with something different but at the moment we're probably leaning towards just going for it. I know for a fact even if I got more eggs I wouldn't end up with more than 2 blasts by the end of it. I don't think we have a hope in hell of it working but I guess possibly give it one more go depending on how this one goes and how we feel after it all and then accept that we have the two children that were meant for us ♥️

stealthbanana · 20/02/2020 15:27

Oh wow really hoping you end up with something @lucieloos will you go to cz tomorrow then? Amazing!

lucieloos · 20/02/2020 18:23

Yes lol we are going tomorrow. I don't know what we're doing but I guess I wanted to give it a go and this may be as good as it gets so may as well try and it's a little trip away for us. If they don't collect anything then they only charge around €100 and if there's nothing available for transfer then it's only a couple of hundred more. Not that I'm transferring but I'm guessing if nothing makes it to day 5 we will pay the reduced fee. I'm adding loads of extras though like picsi, macs, timelapse incubator, assisted hatching if necessary and sperm freezing which will all need to be paid for. Keep everything crossed for us. The odds are very much against us!

Chocolateandwineplease27 · 20/02/2020 19:02

Good luck lucie - will be thinking of you tomorrow.

lucieloos · 20/02/2020 19:42

@Chocolateandwineplease27 thank you x

stealthbanana · 20/02/2020 20:01

Good luck @lucieloos! Will be thinking of you x

lucieloos · 22/02/2020 10:15

So we had egg collection this morning and they collected both eggs and both are mature for fertilisation so just got to wait until tomorrow now to see how that goes!

stealthbanana · 22/02/2020 20:12

Amazing @lucieloos

As the other banana always used to say, hoping they’re playing the Barry white in the love lab tonight!

lucieloos · 23/02/2020 11:19

Haha thanks @stealthbanana both have fertilised today so fingers crossed for the next update on Tuesday!

lucieloos · 24/02/2020 11:44

We are down to only one viable embryo on day 2 now which has 4 cells. The other only has 2 cells and they have deemed it not viable. Not looking good 😬

stealthbanana · 24/02/2020 20:12

You’re still in the game @lucieloos. And as you know sometimes the embies take a bit longer at this point. Will you get an update tomorrow?

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