Babies after Infertility

[Blue2014]

Here is a thread for all of us who got our babies even though we never actually believed this could happen us ...

Too sleep deprived (and surprised!)!to be witty or more interesting in the thread title ...

Come join us.

@stealthbanana yes it must be awful for those trying to conceive number 1. The only thing that kept me going back then was planning and knowing I would go again next month or in a couple of months. It would have killed me to have to wait for an undefined period so my heart really goes out to them.

I don't feel too bad about it all fortunately. Don't get me wrong I would still love another baby more than anything but when you combine everything that's against us...age, genetic defects, 2 failed transfers and now coronavirus it really feels like something is telling me this isn't meant to be. I know the clinic has supposedly told one patient they can reschedule for July and she has changed her flights based on that but to me that seems extremely optimistic that international travel would be going ahead then. If it were that soon I would possibly consider one more round but I do think it's unlikely. I have considered trying naturally as dh had super sperm when we went out a couple months back and that was part of our issue before (apart from a low amh for me but I don't think that's really relevant when trying naturally as you only need one egg a month). All his numbers were really high apart from morphology which was a couple of percent under but I read that isn't so important especially when you have a really high count as it kind of makes up for it. Although I know there's next to no chance of it working naturally at this age anyway but I kind of thought it's a way to have a tiny glimmer of hope each month and feel we are doing something. Even people without fertility issues probably wouldn't find it easy to conceive naturally at 40 so we would be just like everyone else in that respect I guess.

I think I'm probably the opposite to you in respect of a third as it's the baby stage I really enjoy and miss and if anything I just want to be pregnant and go through the baby stages one last time. It is a difficult decision. I spent ages weighing it all up too. Although the baby stages pass quickly and in the grand scheme of things are only a short period of time so maybe if that's all that's stopping you then you should go for it.

Yes I think you’re right that you’d be optimistic to pin hopes on being able to travel in July. I guess you never know re instadiff - plenty of people conceive naturally at 40! But then you have the horror of having to wait til 12 weeks to test genetics etc - I found that hard enough last time and it was a shorter wait + I was younger.

I know, most people are the other way round re pregnancy/baby vs child. It makes me think maybe we should do it. But oof it’s hard work. I guess I’m a bit like you in that I’m a bit more “whatever is meant to be” - I feel like because I don’t feel strongly either way we can just feel our way through it. Who knows. Other than that this feels like a really luxurious position to be in given where we all started this!

Is anybody still following this thread? @stealthbanana @trixietrixie @star1980

I have some news......I only went and got an instadiff at age 41!!!! I'm 11+4 now and have had a couple of scans so far and all looking good. We have our 12 week scan tomorrow and we just got our nipt results back today and everything has come back low risk and we found out we are having a baby girl. Really can't believe it 😊😊😊

OMG @lucieloos that is just the best news ever!! I am so happy for you. Must have been such a surprise!

Omg @lucieloos congratulations!!! How incredible and after all you’ve been through! I’m absolutely thrilled for you 😊

How old are your other littles? And how is everyone else?

DD is nearly 3 now and a challenge and delight in equal measure! DS is 10 months and it’s been a difficult maternity leave (he was 7w when lockdown happened and nursery closed 😩) but we’re very good. I am done though! I never thought I’d have the babies I have and after two complicated c-sections, I’m happy and complete 😊

Anyone else thinking of more?

@Trixietrixie @star1980 thank you so much! It was such a lovely surprise. We had decided no more ivf mainly because we simply couldn't afford anymore after all the attempts we had but also lockdown happened and we wouldn't have been able to travel. We think we have got to the bottom of what our infertility problem was as well. DH has had a problem with his urethra, we think it has been ongoing for a long time but only really came to light the last couple of years. It had narrowed so much that it was difficult to pass urine and would have been the same for sperm too. He was on a waiting list for an op for ages but kept being delayed with one thing and another. He eventually had it late summer this year and I thought we might give things a go naturally for a little while as a last ditch attempt to see if the op had made any difference. It was our first time trying since the op and we only dtd once that month the day before ovulation and it worked from that!!

@star1980 DD is 3.5 now (will just have turned 4 when baby arrives) and DS will be 2 in a couple of weeks so we will definitely have our hands full but we always kind of saw ourselves with 3 so we are over the moon.

Oh wow @lucieloos that is amazing news - congrats! Well done you.

We are still thinking about another one but haven’t been certain enough to go for it yet - I don’t want to try naturally so if we do it will go straight for a fet with one of our PGS tested frosties. Everytime we decide we’re going for it I get cold feet and just worried about doing another newborn all over again. Aargh!

Anyway, most amazing congrats - and an instadiff! Well done you.

Hope everyone else is well too. Think of you all often. For me, DS will be 4 (FOUR!!) in a couple of weeks and DD will be 2 in January. Can’t believe the time is going so fast. (but grateful it is - much preferring the toddler stage to the baby stage!)

Oh wow @lucieloos I can't believe it, congratulations!! What great news to read, and wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy.

Lovely to see everyone's updates, and wishing you all a Merry Christmas! My DSs are three and nearly one now, I think we're definitely done but feeling quite emotional about DS2 leaving babyhood.

@stealthbanana @GenghisKahnSchmitz thanks so much. Definitely a big surprise but we are thrilled to bits. We had our 12 week scan today and all went well so feel that I can relax for a little while now and enjoy Christmas. Hopefully my horrendous sickness will ease in time! Did anyone find any medication that helped if you had bad sickness? I've tried a few now with little effect.

@stealthbanana I'm completely the opposite. I love the newborn stage and find it so much easier than the toddler stage! Good luck with your decision. Let us know if you do go ahead. Would be lovely to hear some more good news.

Merry Christmas everyone 🎄

Ah that’s wonderful re the scan. Congrats again.

Yes I was violently ill the whole way through both pregnancies up to and including the births - vomited over at least one midwife in both labours (another reason I’m hesitant to line up for no 3!). Medication really helped - I was on cyclizine and metaclopramide with DS and then added Ondansetron as well with DD as it was even worse 2nd time round. Highly recommend. It doesn’t make the nausea go away but it stops the fetching/being ill - with DD I think I had 2 days of being sick >50 times a day at about 8 weeks just after I found out I had instadiffed and had to go straight to the doctor.

With medication you need to keep taking it - the effect is cumulative over time. So would stick with it even if it feels like it doesn’t work straight away.

Will let you know - am really in two minds. (And also am hoping to get the Covid vaccine soon, and I don’t think you can have it if you’re pregnant .)

Merry Christmas everyone!

I think I must have a sixth sense for these things because I haven’t looked at this thread for sooooo long and then it pops into my head to check it.... only to find @lucieloos amazing news!!!

Huge congratulations @Lucieloos! Welcome to the instadiff-post-infertility club. Total mind f**k isn’t it?! And a miracle in itself! So happy for you!

Update from me: DD1 is 3.5 now and is incredibly strong willed and independent (I don’t know where she gets it from ) She is far beyond her years in many ways but shows glimmers of being so very young occasionally that keep my expectations of her in check. We are so very proud of her.

DD2 (my instadiff) is 16 months old now and is a total wild child She is into everything and NEVER sits still. She’s the polar opposite of DD1 at this age. She’s certainly keeping me on my toes- very cheeky and full of adventure.

A third is still on the cards for us. I don’t feel done at all and DH and I both say we see 3 in our family..... but something holds me back. I think I just worry that I’d be spreading myself too thinly. And we are in a lovely period at the moment where the girls play so well together and sleep so well that I worry about upsetting the balance.

We’ve recently paid to renew our 3 Frosties until 2024 but we’ve agreed that after that we will say goodbye to any that remain; which saddens me even though I know it’s the right decision for us. We had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and although I was relieved it was negative (I don’t feel ready to be pregnant again yet) DH was “absolutely gutted”.

The irony of being relieved to see a negative does not escape me!

Lovely to read how everyone is doing and that some are having similar dilemmas regarding a third.
Have a wonderful Christmas!!!! X

That's amazing re your DHs op @lucieloos! so happy for you.
Its lovely hearing everyone's updates. My dd is 3 and a bit, really loving this age, we have the best conversations and she cracks me up some of the stuff she comes out with.
We're still not sure about a second (let alone a third 😂) I would love a sibling for dd but just can't see doing it all again. Our frosties aren't going anywhere so we'll see how we feel over the next few years.

@lucieloos how are you feeling? Not long to go now!

Hope everyone is well. We’re still somewhat dithering over whether to go for no 3, but we are almost there and are tentatively pencilling in July for a FET after my second covid jab in June. Feel excited but also like I might end up not going ahead - logistics sometimes feel overwhelming! But just cannot shake the idea of wanting another.

Oh that's exciting Stealth, good luck on your final decision! Looking forward to your update. I just got my first covid jab today - I was ridiculously excited.

And I hope you're keeping well Lucie, and that the sickness has abated!

Hello to everyone else!

Hi @GenghisKahnSchmitz - hope all’s well! I almost cried with relief coming out of the vaxx centre after my first jab - felt like the very very beginning of (maybe) the end.

How is everyone getting on?

@lucieloos your little one must be here by now! How are you getting on? What is life like ad a family of 5?

@stealthbanana how are you doing with reaching that important decision? Is it all systems go?

We are still going backwards and forwards with whether to start seriously trying for a third. Depending on the day we are having, our answers will vary from “let’s get started tonight” to “nope, never. Not in a million years” What happens next is anyone’s guess!!!

Hey @Rosebud2016! How are you??

We decided to try again but I also decided to get fully vaccinated first. Had my second jab last week and I am away in august - so looking at doing a FET in September. Doing all the consents now. Still not 100% we’ll actually go through with it, but…let’s see! Life is so easy with 2, esp now both are out of nappies, sleeping etc. But they are so gorgeous together I just want another!

@lucieloos hoping all good with you and your little one is safe and sound

@stealthbanana aww so glad you are fully vaccinated and have started the process again. You sound a lot like me- I’d really like another but I’m scared about how it might alter our lives, our relationship as a couple and DD1 & DD2 bond.

However my DDs also fight a lot (just turned 4 and 23 months old) so I worry about adding to the chaos!

@Grumpelstiltskin How are you getting on?

@Rosebud2016 yes it’s a big call. Life is so so so easy now they’re through the baby stage. And my daughter was so easy it feels a bit like tempting fate to go for a third…hmmm…..

But, we shall see! I do think I want to do it. Despite all the hassle

Oh my goodness you guys are still going? I’m reading back putting my two ivf miracles to bed. Much love to you all. Lovely to read all the news.

You were all the best support a girl could want: thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting me through ivf

It’s a sporadic thread, boris, but gets resurrected every so often 😂.

Much love to you - they really are miracle babies aren’t they?

Well it’s lovely to see the chat! I nearly fell over when it popped up! How are your little ones stealth? Hope you are ok. Is your oldest heading to school in September?

Yes we’ve been quiet for a long time.

Mine are great! Yes DS is off to school in September - can’t believe it. I think I found his nursery graduation more emotional than he did . Start of a new phase for sure. DD is 2.5 and really just a wonder baby - she sleeps like a rock, eats perfectly, potty trained herself at 18 months (day and night) and is just generally the happiest sunniest little thing you’ve ever seen. So we’re in a good groove (thus all the navel gazing about whether to disrupt it all and go again!).

How are yours?

I would seem that I have news!!!

A surprise natural conception whilst we were on holiday in Greece! Although it happened with DD2, for some reason we felt certain it wouldn’t happen again naturally so we’re mentally preparing ourselves to be reunited with one of our embryos in Jan/Feb time.

We were totally shell shocked for the first couple of days after taking the first test but, now it’s sunk in, we are really excited. It feels like it’s meant to be. And getting this result, today at 22dpo, has given me as much reassurance as I can get at this point. Very early days but I’m just so grateful for this chance

How is everyone else? @stealthbanana @Grumpelstiltskin How are you both doing?

@lucieloos How is life treating you as a family of 5? X

Amazing @Rosebud2016!! Congratulations!!

Not much news on my end, still pondering no 3 and still not doing anything about it. Clock is ticking!